David Thompson
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December 08, 2008

Comments

Anna

Let me get this straight. Supergirl gets it on with a horse? :)

David

Ah, but it’s no ordinary horse. It’s Comet the Superhorse, which somehow makes it alright. And, obviously, when a comet passes through our solar system, this, um, magical horse - which sort of belongs to Supergirl - briefly turns into a man - who sort of dates Supergirl. It’s a complicated relationship.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comet_the_Superhorse

Comet the Superhorse is not to be confused with Beppo the Supermonkey, Krypto the Superdog or any other members of the Legion of Super-Pets.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legion_of_Super-Pets

Anna

The context actually makes it worse.

James S

Does Beppo the super-monkey throw his own super-faeces?

TDK

Apparently those from Kryton have different drives.

Here we learn why Superman is a virgin

http://www.rawbw.com/~svw/superman.html

David

Ah, Larry Niven’s finest hour.

“Does Beppo the super-monkey throw his own super-faeces?”

Yes, I believe so. At bone-shattering velocity.

Baltar's Beard

"What arouses Kal-El's mating urge? Did kryptonian women carry some subtle mating cue at appropriate times of the year? Whatever it is, Lois Lane probably didn't have it. We may speculate that she smells wrong, less like a kryptonian woman than like a terrestrial monkey."

Heh.

Candice

"First we must collect the semen."

Then the *magic* begins:

"One sperm arrives before the others. It penetrates the egg, forms a lump on it's surface, the cell wall now thickens to prevent other sperm From entering. Within the now-fertilized egg, changes take place...

And ten million kryptonian sperm arrive slightly late.

Were they human sperm, they would be out of luck. But these tiny blind things are more powerful than a locomotive. A thickened cell wall won't stop them. They will *all* enter the egg, obliterating it entirely in an orgy of microscopic gang rape. So much for artificial insemination.

But LL's problems are just beginning. "

Torn apart by super-sperm. Not a good way to go.

David

It’s tough on the furnishings too:

“[W]ith kryptonian muscles behind it, Kal-El’s semen would emerge with the muzzle velocity of a machine gun bullet. (One can imagine that the Kent home in Smallville was riddled with holes during Superboy’s puberty. And why did Lana Lang never notice that?)”

Anna

"(One can imagine that the Kent home in Smallville was riddled with holes during Superboy's puberty. And why did Lana Lang never notice that?)"

LOL. The Larry Niven thing is hilarious.

David

It does set the mind rolling on a bizarrely comedic track.

“Clark, what are you up to in there?”

“Er, nothing, Ma. I’ll… just… just be a sec…”

*BOOM!*

[ Ma Kent flees house as crockery shatters and timbers rattle. ]

Anna

They should do that in 'Heroes'. :)

newbie

I'm SO glad I found this place. :)

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