It Tastes of Hyperbole

Here’s a product with no pressing need to exist. Wine… for gay men:  

Spanish UO! Wines is a line of three wines created with homosexual men in mind, and its descriptions, packaging and website imagery were all tailored accordingly. UO! Ánima Blanca, for example, is a Sauvignon Blanc and Verdejo blend featuring earth tones and “wisps of flowers and fruit – the perfect accompaniment to a gathering of friends on a hot day, whether the heat comes from within or without.”

I swear I’m not making this up. 

It smells of ripe, dark fruits, fragrant, a steamy jungle… Taste it. Raise the glass to your lips and you’ll notice deep and balanced flavours, they are sumptuous, you can almost chew on them, they fill you.

Oh, there’s more.  

And Hadrian ordered that one thousand marble statues be built in his name… When you try it, shut your eyes and imagine that you are licking rivulets of syrup from his body. 

Blimey. 

Comments

[The Thin Man]

My, whatever next?

Lesbian Ravioli?

Questioning Vapo-Rub?

Transgender Tyres?

[David]

Also available: Heineken – for women!

http://springwise.com/food_beverage/heinekens_new_brew_for_women/

[Chris S]

So what does this say about the wines quality? Is it so inferior that they can't market it to the general public.

Or is it like the emperors new clothes. This wine is so superior, that only a gay man can tell HOW superior.

It's not just good, it's GAY good.

[Anna]

"They say that the best sex is tumultuous like a storm cloud, and we're inclined to agree; this is the idea behind the creation of Antinoo. Through him we seek to commune with these dark ideas, both small and large that bring us, rushing headlong, to the end of the game."

I think I'll pass. Can I just have the guy on the trapeze?

[klipper]

"Look at the label, well-wrought, controlled, voluptuous… colossal."

Wow. Just... wow.

[James S]

They had me at the line about "one thousand marble statues".

[David]

I think it may be time for a saucy song about wine-tasting…

http://www.voilathelovers.com/audio/La%20Degustation.mp3

Via…

http://www.voilathelovers.com/

[Simen Thoresen]

Now that was a very nice track. Thank you.

-S

[SG]

That's some powerful gay.

[David]

Simen,

The albums are well worth investigating. See also this:

http://davidthompson.typepad.com/davidthompson/2007/03/irony_heartache.html

[witwoud]

Brilliant! A nephew of mine is gay, and I can never think of anything to give him for Christmas. This looks just the thing.

[Mark G]

Thats just embarrassing!

[Shave the Forest]

So it doesn't come in a box then?

[Simen Thoresen]

Thank you, David. Amazon is arranging for The Album to be shipped to me now.

-S

[JuliaM]

"So it doesn't come in a box then? "

Damn! That's another hour lost drying out my keyboard...

[Barney]

I wonder where ... um, how they recommend storing the bottle?

[Rob]

Will it be a few quid more expensive as well?

[anon]

What's wrong with wine for gay men?

[David]

There’s nothing “wrong” with it as such, beyond the bizarre premise and the ludicrous advertising. I’m sure it’ll become apparent whether there’s any great demand for wines aimed exclusively at gay men and marketed with torsos and florid cliché. But so far as I know gay men don’t have different taste buds, so I’m not sure what demand it hopes to meet. Unless the local off-license now has a heavy cruising scene and lots of punters in search of Roman tongue baths.

It’s rather like marketing “gay” detergent or “gay” toothpaste.

[George]

I recommend the article on comment is free on urolagnia - or women squirting - which segues nicely, more tea vicar? - into the syrupy rivulets above.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/oct/08/pornography-sexuality-censors-female-ejaculation

Let ejaculation no know bounds, I say.

[Franklin]

You know what you're getting for Christmas, of course.

[David]

It’d better be a postal order. Or gloves.

[spiro]

So, it's like Guinness, for wine drinkers. :-)

[dog biscuit recipes]

Thats just ridiculuos.