« Friday Ephemera | Main | Not Hearing His Own »

August 09, 2013

Comments

sk60

awed by her own bottom.

Let's hope the kid doesn't copy mommy and stick her head up it.

Tom Foster

I feel a bit sick.

ACTOldFart

Look on the bright side, Sophie - your kid has a great future in performance art.

http://davidthompson.typepad.com/davidthompson/2013/05/bearing-down-radically.html

blackmamba

I'm sure little what's-her-name will be so grateful in future years to Mummy for having shared this with the world.

David

What impresses is that she manages to be both excremental and twee. It’s a rare talent.

Jonathan

"Shit is a Feminist Issue!"

Horace Dunn

Best exchange in the comments section below the piece:

Davidabsolom:
“You can preserve [your daughter’s turds] in clear plastic resin. They'd make great paperweights and would be perfect Christmas presents if you could ever bear to part with them.”

pollystyrene
“or have them gilded. And made into CiF pieces.”

JuliaM

Cheers for link! ;)

'...massive steaming achievements...'

I don't think she's setting the bar too high there.

rjmadden

For now, my toddler is proud of her huge turds. Yet one day she, like all girls, will conform, and shut up about her marvellous self

Someone should tell her that 'turds' and 'marvellous self' aren't the same thing.

Stuck-Record

It's finally happened! A Guardian article is simply beyond parody.

If you told me that Chris Morris wrote this I would believe it. Unquestioningly.

The sad truth is that the competitive grievance culture has now progressed so far back that they are literally pre-toilet trained infants excitedly smearing their hands in their own excrement and waving it at mummy. LOOK! Look what I did!

Watcher

I know The Guardian's writers are daily reduced to the most trivial of subjects in their endless search of something to whine about, but really... botty outpourings and potty contents? Is that what it has come down to for the great and good who care-about-society?*

*Do the turds of socialists lean to the left when they fall?

R. Sherman

Feminism: It's not a job; it's a "doody."

Stuck-Record

Watcher.

If someone takes a dump, and there is no Guardian journalist there to comment, how will they know what to do?

Karen M

Sorry, but I can't get past the irony of someone in the Guardian moaning about conformism.

David

Ms Heawood is also the author of an article titled Capitalism Kills My Vibe, the point of which isn’t at all clear, though we learn that Ms Heawood was disappointed by some free VIP passes to a Jay-Z concert, and that therefore something must be done about capitalism.

WTP

Someone should tell her that 'turds' and 'marvellous self' aren't the same thing.

Oh, they are in that family.

Severian

You know what? I am so sick of watching feminists ride this gravy train. I want sky-high, completely unwarranted self-esteem too! But I'm a guy, so I get beat up if I say something like "I might not be the best at my job -- or even have a job -- and I never was captain of the football team, or got good grades, or really anything else, but damn it, I'm a 87th-level Orc Paladin in War of Worldcraft, and I demand respect."

I'm not talking some "Men's Rights" silliness here. I'm talking about a movement -- something like "Meninism" -- where everything we do is just so super-special because our naughty bits have a certain configuration. For instance, I drank a bit last night, so when I got up this morning, I really had to let 'er rip. It was a beautiful arc, with the soaring grace of a Gothic cathedral vault and the magnificent impact pattern of a perfectly executed artillery barrage.

I demand credit for my achievement. Why do y'all continually oppress me by not acknowledging it?

rabbit

I often read The Guardian's Comment-Is-Free (CiF) site, perhaps because I share Thompson's fascination with fecal matter. Is it my imagination, or is CiF become more and more outraged over less and less? The triviality and inanity of some the articles is breath taking.

In Saudi Arabia and Pakistan, women are little more than slaves who subjected to rape, disfigurement, and murder when they step out of line. You are unlikely, however, to read much about that from the feminists at CiF. In a Nazi death camp, these people would complain about the lack of good library for the prisoners.

dicentra

Yet one day she, like all girls, will conform, and shut up about her marvellous [sic] self.

Or she'll just grow out of her anal-fascination phase without any input from the outside world. Though given her mother's apparent failure to have done so, the jury's still out.

dicentra

Is it my imagination, or is CiF become more and more outraged over less and less? The triviality and inanity of some the articles is breath taking.

I believe it was once called straining at a gnat while swallowing a camel.

The more screwed up the world is, the more helpless you feel (or are) to fix it, so you fuss over those things you CAN control. The faster things circle the drain, the more trivial the things that remain in your control.

E.g., "Why are they holding hearings about steroid use in baseball? The national debt is $16 trillion and rising!"

Because the debt is an insurmountable problem at this point. Steroid use is not.

QED

JeremiadBullfrog

Because the debt is an insurmountable problem at this point. Steroid use is not.

*GASP* Are you saying that steroid use isn't important??? That nothing should be done???

The philosopher Susan Haack has a wonderful term, "This-or-Nothingism", to describe false dichotomies in policy choice. I find that to be perhaps the most irritating feature of Leftist argumentation, esp. since it's usually overlaid with a thick patina of self-congratulation for one's own appreciation of nuance, complexity, critical thinking, diversity of choice, etc..

Spiny Norman

describe the massive steaming achievements

Isn't that the narcissism of modern feminism in a nutshell?

witwoud

This isn't even a First World Problem -- it's an NW3 Problem.

BenSix

Of the day when somebody makes it clear to her, whether by accident or design, that sweet little girls aren’t supposed to describe the massive steaming achievements cruising out of their bums.

Let me assure Ms. Heawood that if I had a son who bragged about the gigantic proportions of his fecal matter I'd tell him to put a sock in it as well. But, then, I'm not a "real reader". "Real readers” appear to be defined by the lack of proof of their existence.

Darleen

oh for criminey's sake ... this thing should have her child taken away until she learns basic parenting responsibilities ... which IS setting boundaries, expectations, self discipline and humility.

That's called civilizing a person.

"Mom" is well on her way of raising a barely tolerable human animal.

Make.it.stop.

Squires

To lift a line from a commenter on another of Julia's posts:
"How I miss the days when women with nothing to do would neck a bottle of gin and watch television."

Stuck-Record

Jeremiad,

Oh, the false dichotomy. Once you see them they're everywhere and, as you say, particularly beloved by the left.

Here are the top five.

If you're against the way the NHS is constructed you want to live in a country that has no state provision for healthcare.
If your critical of immigration you're racist and xenophobic.
If you have doubts about catastrophic global warming you are a denier!
If you believe in some fiscal prudence and accountability you want to slash and burn public spending and put put people back in the workhouse.
If you are against the European Union you're against Europe (all its people all countries, uniformly).

sk60

Yes, faecal preoccupations are caused by big fridges.

It's so obvious now.

David

It’s so obvious now.

In the developed world, it’s odd that the kinds of women who feel a need to tell us that they aren’t being taken seriously - and therefore, supposedly, their entire gender isn’t either - are often women whose own arguments suggest they shouldn’t be taken seriously about much, not least by other women.

Mr Eugenides

I just read this article on CiF and thought, I should go over to David Thompson's place, here is an article for him to, er, savour. You clearly beat me to it.

David

You clearly beat me to it.

Actually, Julia beat us both to it. ‘Twas she who sniffed it out.

Spiny Norman

Stuck-Record,

If you have doubts about catastrophic global warming you are a denier!

Oh hell, it's worse than that: if you have even the slightest doubts about the man-made aspects of catastrophic global warming, you're a "denier", and something akin to a "flat-earther".

Jacob

We do, though, learn that Ms Heawood was disappointed by some free VIP passes to a Jay-Z concert and that therefore something must be done about capitalism.

I thought that was exaggerated for effect... then I read her article. Still not sure what her point was.

Ray

Mark my words, this will somehow eventually culminate in an interpretive dance routine inflicted on unsuspecting subway riders. Give it about a year, I'm guessing.

David

It must be Incoherent Rambling Week™ in the Guardian. Now it’s the novelist A L Kennedy sharing a random pile of unfinished thoughts. I’ll paraphrase for brevity: “Doctor Who… something, something nationalisation… something, something Health & Safety…. something, something Cybermen.” Again, it’s hard to tell what Ms Kennedy’s actual point is. And her history is a bit sketchy. I’m guessing here, but she seems to believe that nationalisation somehow meant the coal mines of the Seventies were her own, and therefore better… than… er, something, for reasons that aren’t made clear, or even hinted at.

It’s the national organ of the left, you know.

Squires

"It’s the national organ of the left, you know."

http://tinyurl.com/k749nnz

sackcloth and ashes

'In a Nazi death camp, these people would complain about the lack of good library for the prisoners'.

In a death camp, they'd either be guards or trusties.

David

Once again the spam filter has ideas above its station. If anyone has trouble posting comments, email me and I’ll rattle them loose.

Spiny Norman

The spam filter followed the links to the Graun and started browsing? Damn the All-Pervasive Patriarchy™!

Rick Thomson

Well I will admit to saying, "big poop for daddy", in a high and happy voice to my wee Scottie girl, but that is generally in private...

guinspen

I'm an aroma man, myself.

Maybe she'll do a followup.

Joan

It must be Incoherent Rambling Week™ in the Guardian.

When isn't it?

David

When isn’t it?

Well yes, but there’s been a particularly high concentration of guff lately. Today, for instance, class warrior Owen Hatherley tells Guardian readers that “capitalism is altering our language” in dastardly ways that must be resisted. He knows this because he regards “unique,” “individual” and “choose” as “particularly acquisitive words.” And so, for him, the words “unique,” “individual” and “choose” signify first and foremost avarice and rapaciousness - nasty things like that. So no tendentious altering of language there.

pst314

How long until Sophie Heawood has a Facebook page dedicated to her daughter's poo?

brinster

What happens when the kid gets a bad case of diarrhea? There would be no shape to brag about, and it would most likely cause an untold amount of confusion. I mean HOLY SHIT! I meant to do that.

Joe

She is ignorant of virtually anything she's imagining is a "cure" for capitalism.

For one thing, I can telegraph one overarching truth I learned living in the worker's paradise of East Germany. Coercion and enforced social conformity are required to maintain the social order, and to continue, the coercion and the social enforcement has to continue to be more sever than the year before.

Henry

On the subject of 'patriarchy', we've seen a moral panic recently in the papers concerning Twitter. What has become obvious in the debates is how the more childish bits of radical feminism have become "mainstream".

When I asked, in an online debate, why the focus of discussion was solely on threats against women only, I was variously accused of hating women (bollocks to that), of not having any women to talk to (more bollocks), of trying to excuse rape-threats (lots and lots of bollocks). Noone actually addressed what I was saying.

The hypocrisy goes on and on. Feminists accuse people of trying to "silence" women, then we find just how trigger-happy they are with the flag button on various internet sites & how they suppressed research on domestic violence; they announce that feminism is "about equality", only to turn around the next minute and demand special treatment for women in an ever-increasing number of issues; one complains about "hate-speech", until someone finds a tweet she made joking about castration; they rail against gender roles whilst rountinely playing the victim card.

Laughable bits of gender-politics are being given space and serious attention in the Times and Telegraph, not just the Guardian, despite the fact that more and more women think it stinks.

Hope you enjoyed the rant

TimP

So feminism is now very literally "Celebrating cr*p because a girl did it"?

Mr Grumpy

Those Victorian patriarchs who foisted the tyranny of water closet on us have much to answer for. Fortuately there are still parts of the world where Ms Heawood could enjoy a much more enduring relationship with her daughter's poo. How about a whip-round for her relocation costs?

David

Fortunately there are still parts of the world where Ms Heawood could enjoy a much more enduring relationship with her daughter’s poo.

Oh, it’s quite fashionable in New York too.

model_1066

At least she's only talking about it, instead of throwing it at The Patriarchy in a fit of feminist rage.

Patrick Brown

Like a dog returning to its own vomit:*

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2013/aug/17/ask-a-grown-up-human-poo

(*I once got censored on CiF for using that phrase)

The comments to this entry are closed.

For Amazon US use this link .

Your filthy consumerism supports this blog.

Blogroll