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David Thompson
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October 16, 2013

Comments

svh

That's the most brilliant thing I've seen since 9am.

David

And it’s surprisingly difficult. I managed 14 out of 20, largely through luck. Clearly I need to rush out and buy lots of Norwegian Black Metal albums. Or loiter in IKEA, which may be slightly less stressful.

Simen Thoresen

A good find - a winning strategy (17/20) is to class the 'Swedish words' with Ikea, as most of their products have real, although not descriptive Swedish words as their names. Unfortunately so do several of the metal bands.

Related; a few years ago, a local entreprenør published tshirts with the names of basic household items written with spurious ümlauts and rendered in a metal-font. Never has 'Rÿggsækk' looked so evil, nor 'Østehøvêl' been so cool.

-S

Graham Asher

It's much easier if you speak Swedish - I got 19 out of 20 - so it's really a test of whether you can tell Swedish words, which are IKEA wares, from the other names, which mostly don't look Swedish at all.

John D

Or loiter in IKEA, which may be slightly less stressful.

It's a tough call.

David

It’s a tough call.

I’m not someone who shops for pleasure, at least not for self-assembly furniture and scatter cushions, but I’ve been to IKEA a couple of times over the years and nearly enjoyed it. It certainly wasn’t as terrible an experience as I expected. And I did find a decent chili pan at a very reasonable price. So there’s that.

WTP

After hearing much about Ikea, went to the one in the more annoying part of Orlando (anywhere near I-Drive fits this category) with my wife and mother-in-law earlier this year. Was not impressed. I mean it was "OK", but most of the stuff looked cheap, was designed mostly for people who live in 600 sq. ft. Manhattan apartments or sailboats. Seemed very utilitarian. Almost as if ever the wildest dreams of socialism were realized, Ikea would be at the relative top-o-the-heap level of Nordstroms or that place owned by Princess Di's boyfriend's daddy (forget the name). Though with far less selection. And what's the big deal about the meatballs? I mean really. It's meatballs. Meatloaf formed with an ice cream scoop. If so, I'm moving to Sweden and opening a meatloaf restaurant.

Hal

Cute.

I've never been one for following fads---and I don't speak Swedish---, so I only scored 11 out of 20. On an other hand, the test engine claimed to be impressed:

You scored 11 out of 20!
Congrats you are...
Kvlt.

You know that Furkantig means “square” in Swedish to describe the candles that you have on your altar. And above it? The raddest picture of Euronymous ever. Seriously, you scare children and their parents alike, all while wowing them with your design sense. Please check out our agency site. We’d be honored.

Until the light takes us, Your friends at Gatesman+Dave.

Sam Duncan

16. Not bad. I don't know whether to be proud or ashamed of the fact that not only did I know that Lack was an Ikea item, but that it's a small side table. I guessed most of the others, though.

WTP: “Utility furniture refers to furniture produced in the United Kingdom during and just after World War II, under a Government scheme which was designed to cope with shortages of raw materials and rationing of consumption.” I have a Utility bookcase. It could have come from IKEA last week. It goes without saying that design snobs of a Leftist bent speak of Utility in glowing terms.

David

I don’t know whether to be proud or ashamed of the fact that not only did I know that Lack was an Ikea item, but that it’s a small side table.

I’m just glad we’ve all learned something today. I learned the difference between a Bastig, which is obviously a nickel-plated kitchen drawer handle, and Einherjer, the Viking metal band named for the warriors who sit at Odin’s table in Valhalla. If that’s not personal growth I don’t know what is.

Jimmy

I learned that I had no idea what to choose, and opted for a random selection. Seeing as this was a 50/50 selection, I managed to score 10 and was classed as a Hipster! :(

Jamie

18/20
I'm off to recline on my Ektorp and worship Satan !

Hal

I'm off to recline on my Ektorp and worship Satan !

I'm reminded of the stereotypical male uberfanatical fabric aficionado, with black t-shirt that has bright red gothIsh lettering that spells out HAIL SATIN!!!!!

And of course there is the danger of being a dyslexic black magician and accidentally calling forth Santa.

David

And of course there is the danger of being a dyslexic black magician and accidentally calling forth Santa.

Speaking of dark and diabolical forces, a few years ago I visited Whitby on a fiercely hot summer day. One of the more entertaining sights was a trio of Goth youths striding about the town in full regalia – massive black coats, enormous boots and of course scarlet lipstick. One of them, the most committed, I think, wore a full metal breastplate. As you do.

I take it everyone’s seen Goth Cruise?

David

Sam Duncan,

In case you missed it, you’ve been quoted over at Artblog

pst314

"Ikea or Death" sounds like that old joke "Death or Bunga-Bunga".

pst314

Sam Duncan "Utility furniture refers to furniture produced in the United Kingdom during and just after World War II, under a Government scheme which was designed to cope with shortages of raw materials...I have a Utility bookcase. It could have come from IKEA last week. It goes without saying that design snobs of a Leftist bent speak of Utility in glowing terms."

Furniture for members of the Borg Collective.

I own some Ikea bookcases, but only because I needed lots of cheap storage in a hurry. There's nothing else of theirs that I would want to own. But in the glorious Obama future Ikea will be the height of luxury for the masses. Only the ruling class will be able to afford anything better. (And some, like Al Gore, will own footstools made from crouching peasants.)

Hal

. . . I visited Whitby on a fiercely hot summer day. One of the more entertaining sights was a trio of Goth youths striding about the town in full regalia . . .

A recurring form of entertainment occurs when running across the extremely self involved at Disneyland or some other related site, and then basically openly and emphatically agreeing with all the play acting . . . those who are Clearly More UberGoff Than Thou quickly blow a fuse, where those who simply like varieties of black clothing are themselves just as amused by revealing the pretentious and silly . . . .

And yes, and there can be rather a few varieties of rather self involved aside from just "Goths". And then the interesting bit is indeed when the parodied out parody the parody even as the parody is first getting thought of . . . as has already been noted here in Rather a few instances . . . . !

Henry

I take it everyone’s seen Goth Cruise?

It must be rather a shock to realise that one is a Goth.

Perhaps they have a fateful day when they visit the GP, who coughs and says "the test result has come back .., and I'm afraid it's positive. But don't worry. There are things we can do these days"

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