David Thompson
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June 23, 2014

Comments

Sam

It's a steep learning curve.

Steve 2: Steveageddon

Now he knows what it's like being married.

David

Now he knows what it’s like being married.

This is where someone sends a screengrab to your beloved (and presumably long-suffering) wife.

Mr. Saturn

That is almost too funny for words.

sk60

And the headline is totally true.

David

And the headline is totally true.

Yes, it’s exactly what you’d imagine. Once you imagine that kind of thing.

Steve 2: Steveageddon

David -

Long-suffering, you say?

Jane Gerving, from Hatfield, said: "I'll miss living with the funniest man in the universe. He's just so very fucking funny. All the time."

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=1886&print=1

Anna

"A section of a busy main road in North Yorkshire was blocked for almost six hours on Saturday after a lorry shed its load of instant mashed potato."

David

instant mashed potato

Three words I’d hoped to forget. I’m faintly surprised they still make the stuff.

Mr Grumpy

Coming a matter of days after a German potholer was extricated from a 1 km deep cave, this is surely conclusive proof that Marx was right - if only about the way history repeats itself.

Theophrastus

What a cunt!

Ok, I'm getting my coat.

present & correct

Can't believe they didnt jump on the opportunity to use a 'For mash get (Road) Smash' headline, or similar.

Gary from Jersey

I knew German women are tough but I didn't know they were that big.

Duane Phillips

A gallon of KY jelly, stat!

Steve 2: Steveageddon

I'm still fascinated with the Giant Stone Vulva, also known as The Vagina Megalith.

Is sexy spelunking a thing?

Is there a giant granite penis, or would that be too #rockculture?

Is this a life sized recreation of Frau Merkel's biber?

But mainly, I wonder what went through the minds of the University of Tubingen staff when they were deciding whether to, um, erect a gargantuan cha-cha.

Was it a choice between that and a compressed pile of garbage?

There was a time when Germany was a serious nation. They used to build things like this:

http://www.atravelbook.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Brandenburg-Gate.jpg

Now it looks like they're inspired by the Morlocks from "The Time Machine". Or by the primitive fertility symbols of cavemen. At least the cavemen were sincere.

I heard once that the Germans played waltzes on the radio in a desperate attempt to discourage Allied bombers from flattening their cities. As if to say "we are a civilised people, this is our music, would you reduce all this to ash and rubble?".

I'm pretty sure that story isn't true, but it's an intriguing idea. What would modern Germany, or the modern West in general, offer up as a sign of its cultural worth?

Would we beam up pictures of stone lady parts and unmade beds strewn with soiled prophylactics? Would we ask that the Gotterdamerung pass over us because we adorned our lintels with vaginal knitting?

David

As if to say “we are a civilised people, this is our music, would you reduce all this to ash and rubble?”

When the mothership looms overhead, we may have to rely on our back catalogue.

Spiny Norman

David,

Three words I’d hoped to forget. I’m faintly surprised they still make the stuff.

If there's a market, they'll make it. There will always be lazy bastard bachelors.

R. Sherman

When he realized his predicament, he should have immediately announced that he was a "performance artist," attempting to represent the oppression of modern, socially constructed, gender stereotypes. He probably would've then received accolades in CiF.

R. Sherman

Steve,

There was a time when Germany was a serious nation.

I showed the article and photo to my lovely German wife. her response?

"The Swabians are more than a little strange."

dicentra

he should have immediately announced that he was a "performance artist,"

Calling it "Vagina lapidosus"?

Doesn't have the same impact as vagina dentata, but I guess that's the point.

Mojo

I thought Beaver traps were only in Canada...

Jeff Guinn

That thing is in desperate need of vajazzling.

bilbaoboy

If he is a Christian, is he a born-again one?

jones

That's a big pussy that's a big pussy.

splotchy

I realise I may be a tad picky about what constitutes 'art', but who would choose to have a giant stone fanny on the sidewalk? And, er, why?

splotchy

......amd who would have paid for it?

There are websites for people who lack access to pudenda to gawp at (or so I am told), without the need to encounter a literally in-your-face one while taking a stroll.

pst314

"who would choose to have a giant stone fanny on the sidewalk?"

Just wait until next year, when, in order to demonstrate their support for gay rights, the Good Burghers purchase a giant sculpture of a man's anus.

Mike James

Oh, come now--who amongst us didn't get ourselves stuck in a tremendous stone vagina when we were young?

John Holland

I clicked on the link for the tag "Giant Stone Vaginas", hoping for more exciting stories of a similar genre.

Just the one, so far.

TimT

The symbolism of it is rather perfect, isn't it?

Jonathan

"There was a time when Germany was a serious nation. They used to build things like this:"
The Problem was, though, that they were also a little bit 'Invadey' and got the shit beaten out of them. Now they may not produce much worthwhile art but they don't tend to get their Cities reduced to dust quite so often either.

Ben

That's the second biggest vagina I have ever seen!

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