David Thompson
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March 25, 2015

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Zippgun

What a bunch of wussy drips they are. Their preciousness does little but threaten to set back women by centuries - yet they'd gibber with outrage and probably have the vapors at the notions of those old fashioned males who denied employment in rough, tough and dangerous jobs to females because they weren't suitable for them - being weak, sensitive flowers.

Aisling is a sexist hatemonger on the basis of that tweet.

Dr Cromarty

Laughed out loud at this one. Triggering on SO many levels. Where do I report for re-education?

https://mobile.twitter.com/SteveSkipper/status/580399032461299713

David

The thing to bear in mind is, this kind of pretentious sensitivity is a positional good, a kind of conspicuous consumption. Like so much political correctness, it’s all about social positioning. As Kristian Niemietz put it,

A positional good is a good that people acquire to signal where they stand in a social hierarchy; it is acquired in order to set oneself apart from others. Positional goods therefore have a peculiar property: the utility their consumers derive from them is inversely related to the number of people who can access them… PC-brigadiers behave exactly like owners of a positional good who panic because wider availability of that good threatens their social status. The PC brigade has been highly successful in creating new social taboos, but their success is their very problem. Moral superiority is a prime example of a positional good, because we cannot all be morally superior to each other. Once you have successfully exorcised a word or an opinion, how do you differentiate yourself from others now? You need new things to be outraged about, new ways of asserting your imagined moral superiority.

That’s why it’s so competitive and why it can never end. The drama must go on, regardless of how absurd it is, or how dishonest. There must always be something to scold, something to fret about. And so we end up with Guardian columnists agonising about the menace of heteronormative cupcakes and insufficiently considerate spellcheck software.

james

That NUS twitter feed is hypnotically bad.

However, as with so much of the material presented here by our gracious host and his legion of faithful, snarky commenters, once the laughter subsides what remains is a feeling that we are getting a glimpse of what will be normal tomorrow.

ACTOldFart

So, never having heard of "Jazz Hands", I went to Wikipedia to find out what it was about, and what did I see but (1) it was popularised by (trigger alert!), a white, cisgendered MAN, and (2) it is most used by those epitomes of objectification of women and the malevolence of the male gaze (trigger alert again!), CHEERLEADERS. And these geniuses at the NUS co-opt it as an expression of warm and fuzzy feminist self-righteous caring and sharing. Beyond parody.

Patrick Brown

Extraordinary. Somewhere, the ghosts of Victorian manufacturers of smelling salts are laughing their legs off. Women are now apparently so fragile that you mustn't make sudden noises or movements in their presence lest you startle them. They're competing to be more pathetically helpless than each other. After this, and the "safe space" at the American university with bubbles, play-doh and colouring books, I think we can't be more than a year away from feminists demanding to be spoken to in baby talk.

David

They’re competing to be more pathetically helpless than each other.

Yes, but it’s a pantomime. Like a great deal of leftist politics, it’s fundamentally insincere. Though that doesn’t seem to trouble its advocates, a remarkable number of whom seem both credulous and needy, such that they’ll attempt almost any contortion. What matters is being seen while pretending.

OJ

This is amazing, thanks David. Here's a tweet from last year's conference: https://twitter.com/RebeccaOHagan1/status/459992719554002945

Conference, please do not use the term female when referring to delegates, it is not accessible! #nusscotwom14 Women are not female!

rjmadden

Shielded from the horrors of raised eyebrows and any hint of incredulity, the ladies continued to address the great issues of the day.

And they wonder why people are laughing at them.

DH

move to jazz hands

The NUS women's conference, earlier today:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIaj7FNHnjQ

David

And they wonder why people are laughing at them.

But no, you mustn’t titter. According to Conference Motion 512,

The appropriation of Black women by white gay men is prevalent within the LGBT scene and community. This may be manifested in the emulation of the mannerisms, language (particularly AAVE- African American Vernacular English) and phrases that can be attributed to Black women. White gay men may often assert that they are “strong black women” or have an “inner black woman.” White gay men are the dominant demographic within the LGBT community, and they benefit from both white privilege and male privilege.

And therefore,

This type of appropriation is unacceptable and must be addressed. Low numbers of Black LGBT women delegates attend NUS LGBT conference. This can be attributed to many factors, one of which may be the prevalent appropriation by white gay men, which may mean that delegates do not feel comfortable or safe attending conference.

You see, if a black woman has something better to do with her time – better than doing jazz hands whenever a feminist speaks – this is almost certainly the fault of white gay men. All of whom are doing ghetto fabulous finger-snaps and referring to themselves, continually, as “strong black women.”

Robert of Ottawa

They should all wear burquas

Watcher In The Dark

To me, Jazz Hands suggests that nasty, vile raycisss behaviour associated with the (gasp) Black And White Minstrels on telly years ago. You know, lefties, where white people blacked up their faces and spoke in de funny speak and shook their hands in the air and blinked their eyes at the camera and said 'Oh Lawks a-Moses' for a whole cotton-picking minute. Of course that would be banned now so I hope dear sozialists you have enjoyed this little delve into the unpleasant past of family entertainment.

Carry on (oh wait... that's another ban right there)

(PS: I was talking to a local am dram thesp who was helping put on a play at the local church hall and a neighbour of his, when she heard it was a black comedy, anxiously said: "Oh no, you can't do that these days."

"What?" Asked the leading man, puzzled.

"You know," the woman said under her voice and looked sheepish. "You know... That, um, black thing."

"What black thing?"

"Blacking up," she whispered, looking over her shoulder in case anyone was watching her and judging her.

"No, it's not the Black and White Mistrels," said the man,much to the great relief of the woman.)

Steve B

I'm thinking they left out the "power" part of "empowering."

David

Hey, if it’s good enough for Shatner.

David

And it’s a cunning variation of Occupy’s up-and-down twinkles.

It’s what intellectuals do.

Stuck-Record

David, thank you for the link in comment at 9.09. Brilliantly succinct skewering of so much that is wrong with modern 'culture'.

My universe just got a little clearer.

ac1

>Positional goods therefore have a peculiar property: the utility their consumers derive from them is inversely related to the number of people who can access them…

Hence frequest flying tourists against other tourism...

David

David, thank you for the link in comment at 9.09.

It does, I think, explain the competitive dynamic, the neediness, the disregard for proportion, etc. I mean, arguments don’t have to be terribly realistic or able to withstand scrutiny if the purpose is chiefly one of social display, and if the primary audience is made up of other, equally needy and pretentious people.

Seven years ago, in one of my early posts on self-styled academic radicals, I wrote:

The problem is that adversarial role-play, like that of leftist academics Grover Furr and Rhonda Garelick, has little to do with reason, refutation or how the world actually is. It does, however, have a great deal to do with how those concerned wish to seem.

In order to maintain a self-image of heroic radicalism - and in order to justify funding, influence and status - great leaps of imagination or paranoia may be required. Hence the goal posts of persecution tend to move and new and rarer forms of exploitation and injustice have to be discovered, many of which are curiously invisible to the untutored eye. Thus, the rebel academic tends towards extremism, intolerance and absurdity, not because the mainstream of society is becoming more racist, prejudiced, patriarchal or oppressive – but precisely because it isn’t.

As mainstream society becomes less fixated by race, gender, sexuality, etc., so peddlers of grievance and victimhood must search out - or invent - something to oppose. Overstatement and escalation are all but inevitable.

I don’t think much has changed since then. Not for the better, anyway.

Ten
The problem is that adversarial role-play, like that of leftist academics Grover Furr and Rhonda Garelick, has little to do with reason, refutation or how the world actually is. It does, however, have a great deal to do with how those concerned wish to seem.

It may bear repeating that appearances-centrism is a cornerstone of clinical personality disorder. It's part of the broad spectrum of pathological dishonesty: I am not concerned with reason or reality, goes the disordered mind, because I am concerned with purveying my image in such a way as to conform, cowtow, or victimize others.

Not surprising that these youngsters are products of parents who were products of the narcissistic Sixties. More than a few of their instructors and nannies are "liberal" Sixties vintage too.

Karen M

You see, if a black woman has something better to do with her time – better than doing jazz hands whenever a feminist speaks – this is almost certainly the fault of white gay men. All of whom are doing ghetto fabulous finger-snaps and referring to themselves, continually, as “strong black women.”

Snork. You go, girlfriend. :-D

David

You really can’t argue with that kind of logic.

Steve E

Women are now apparently so fragile that you mustn't make sudden noises or movements in their presence lest you startle them.

Patrick Brown, one good, high volume fart could probably take out a whole room of them.

Rob

They don't feel safe attending a conference because of white gay men? The least dangerous demographic on the planet? What are they afraid of, having cupcakes offered to them by well-built men with beards?

Zippgun

Are these some of the people who get ever so cross (righteously) that women aren't allowed to take front line combat roles in the Army? Thank you NUS wimmin for such sterling service in your bolstering of stereotypes - lots of girlies do indeed climb on chairs and shriek when confronted with a terrifying mouse; the ladies must not be expected to get involved in, or even hear about, anything unpleasant or upsetting, the poor lambs are too delicate to handle it; many gays are not men at all, the blighters have women "inside" them.

Nikw211

Off topic, but not wholly unrelated I don't think ...

Can anyone here fill in the blanks below?

    Private mass transit is a touchy topic in San Francisco, where many fear [[[ ]]] is creating parallel amenities — private campuses, private transportation, private cafeterias — where [[[ ]]] don't have to bump into the masses.

Now my first thoughts were along the lines of the Women and Gender Studies Institute in the first gap, and female students (at an elite, private university) for the second one, but no, that turns out to be not be correct.

sH2

"No clapping, we're feminists."

David

“No clapping, we’re feminists.”

I think it’s probably best to avoid any expressions of approval. Safety first and all that.

DH

I'm just trying to imagine the kind of person that could respond to a specific request for jazz hands on the basis that clapping is triggering anxiety with a straight face.

You could probably ask them to cave into any demented whim by playing the triggering card. I'm tempted to turn up in drag and demand that any laughter be replaced with a silver cornet band and tap dancing, because it's triggering heteronormative oppression-related PTSD. Please be mindful!

David

I’m just trying to imagine the kind of person that could respond to a specific request for jazz hands… with a straight face.

Someone like this, perhaps?

RY

Slightly off topic:
Seems there are some things that would not be expected to be 'triggering' to today's students.

Is it OK to bring a humanitarian pro- "Islamic State Iraq and Syria" group on campus, the undercover for conservative activist James O'Keefe's 'Project Veritas' asks.

http://nypost.com/2015/03/24/cornell-dean-says-isis-welcome-on-campus-in-undercover-video/

Lancastrian Oik

Wooh.

"There are seven basic hand signals".

However, there are actually eight, and that young man in the down vest, and these two, together exemplify why you should never go full retard.

Hal

Hmmm. If clapping is unacceptable, and jazz hands get very emphatically demanded, and still get giggles even in their own, ah, discussions, then perhaps there could be a carefully timed singalong of Snake In The Grass . . .

JuliaM

"You see, if a black woman has something better to do with her time – better than doing jazz hands whenever a feminist speaks – this is almost certainly the fault of white gay men. "

One wonders where they find the time & the energy, since they are responsible for all that unsettled weather and flooding as well:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-25793358

Hal

. . . where [[[ ]]] don't have to bump into the masses.

Oh, if all the hipsters could indeed get corralled off away from the adults, that would indeed be appreciated with immense sighs of relief . . . as it is, there already have been the ongoing instances of local parks covered in trash, who then leave masses of garbage left strewn all over.

Hal

Is it OK to bring a humanitarian pro- "Islamic State Iraq and Syria" group on campus, the undercover for conservative activist James O'Keefe's 'Project Veritas' asks.

The undercover asked if he can invite “a freedom fighter to come and do like a training camp for students.”

Scaffido responds, “You would be allowed to do something like that. It’s just like bringing in a coach, to do a training, a sports trainer or something,” the Cornell official said.

So, does this mean that the same official will be equally welcoming of concealed carry on campus and related matters of assuring the safety of students and staff?

neal

A civlised administration would provide adult diapers, crying towels, and fainting couches. Or a padded safe space. Frees up the nurses for other triage. Seems reasonable.

Hal

One wonders where they find the time & the energy, since they are responsible for all that unsettled weather and flooding as well:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-25793358

UKIP councillor blames storms and floods on gay marriage

. . . .

He then went to on blame the prime minister for the bad weather:

"It is his fault that large swathes of the nation have been afflicted by storms and floods."

Perhaps he could come over to the US and also blame San Francisco and vicinity, we could use a good deal of once again being afflicted by storms . . .

wtp

Aisling's background appears to be American flag-styled graffiti stating (I think) "F*ck grad school. I want to start a Revolution". Never experienced one myself, but as I understand it these "revolution" thingies can be noisy and have been known to trigger anxiety in some people.

dicentra

The Star-Bellied Sneeches had bellies with stars,
But the Plain-Bellied Sneeches had none upon thars.

Pellegri

I am so glad I've gone beyond being able to be embarrassed for people like this.

Jimmy

UKIP councillor blames storms and floods on gay marriage

Maybe he should pray to his god, asking him to not be such a petty asshole.

Quint&Jessel, Sea of Azof, Bly, UK

Worthless, worthless, worthless women. I'm ashamed of them. I became a feminist about 100 years ago to show I was as tough as any man; now, apparently, I'm supposed to be wussier than Pajama Boy to have feminist creds. Shameful.

Was following a blogger who was critiquing a book about a college co-ed (and I'm sure I'm not supposed to use that term). The "feminist" blogger was ENRAGED by a scene where the co-ed and a boy who liked her went to a party and drank a few beers, then went back to his room and the co-ed initiated and performed oral sex on him. "RAPE!" wrote the blogger, and "RAPE!" agreed the other commenters. What? What? I just...

So ashamed and disgusted by these worthless women. Susan B. would puke.

Patrick Brown

Me: They’re competing to be more pathetically helpless than each other.

Our Esteemed Host: Yes, but it’s a pantomime.

I think there's another wrinkle. I'm from Northern Ireland, where all politics is identity politics, which is why I'm so aghast at seemingly grown-up countries turning to that benighted creed. But in Northern Ireland you have two "communities", each competing to be seen as the more hard-done-by, thereby to deserve the patronage of a higher authority, i.e. the British government. Both communities are presenting themselves as helpless children, demanding that a parent look after them, and resolve their disputes for them by rewarding the good child and punishing the bad one, externalising all responsibility on the parent.

In modern right-on identitarianism I see something of the same thing. It's not often clear who they've identified as the responsible parent, but they all seem to be competing to be looked after, to be the most helpless and thus the most deserving of being looked after. It's a headlong retreat from adulthood.

David

Aisling’s background appears to be American flag-styled graffiti stating (I think) “F*ck grad school. I want to start a Revolution.” Never experienced one myself, but as I understand it these “revolution” thingies can be noisy and have been known to trigger anxiety in some people.

Hence the words insincerity and pantomime.

Having scanned quite a few of Aisling’s tweets and pronouncements, it’s how she seems to operate - as a dishonest little scold. At one point she was berating someone she apparently knows for laughing at the ‘jazz hands’ tweet. She told him to “stop taking the piss out of fucking disability,” claiming that “it’s an access need and it’s fucking sign language.” The sly implication being that her male friend was mocking deaf people, which, from the context, he obviously wasn’t. And as Aisling must surely know, the demand for jazz hands wasn’t driven by a wish to accommodate deaf people at all, but rather on grounds that some of the speakers are so impossibly delicate that moderate applause would put them at risk of swooning.

Aisling’s friend nonetheless backed down and the conversation ended.

Anna

Aisling’s friend nonetheless backed down and the conversation ended.

She doesn't have to be truthful or make sense, she just has to go on screeching until people get bored.

David

She doesn’t have to be truthful or make sense, she just has to go on screeching until people get bored.

That does seem to be how it works quite a lot of the time. Saner people will often have better things to do. By which I mean, almost anything. Of course when identitarian scolds try to out-screech each other, the thing can last for hours.

David

she just has to go on screeching until people get bored.

It’s an odd dynamic to watch, and fairly common among such people. Typically, the scold deploys the word “fuck” repeatedly, to let you know How Very Serious They Are™ and how outrageous it is that you dare to disagree. Starting from such a high gear of indignation is not at all accidental and is often enough in itself to deter further discussion and thereby declare victory. Again, not everyone wants to get snarled in a long and heated row about something so absurd.

If the browbeating and f-bombs don’t work as intended and you persist in poking at their assumptions, the passion (or pseudo-passion) tends to escalate rapidly, as this is the primary tool. This is quite convenient as the scold can ramp up their outrage to levels of spluttering, screeching and exasperation, as if it were still about the ostensible issue at hand, when in fact it’s often simply outrage that, having been scolded, you still dare to disagree.

“WHY WON’T YOU JUST LET ME WIN?!”

Laurie Penny’s now-famous exchange with David Starkey comes to mind. She tries to ambush him with a low personal attack, then she slanders him, twice, all while being very passionate and endlessly self-righteous, and when he won’t back down and instead hits back, revealing her double standards to a live audience, she then acts all wounded and is reduced to incoherent squeaking, claiming that she’s “shaken” by the “violence” – “violence” that she initiated, gleefully, and was expecting to get away with.

james

Typically, the scold deploys the word “fuck” repeatedly, to let you know How Very Serious They Are™ and how outrageous it is that you dare to disagree

It is more than that.

If you dare question the necessity to swear, you leave yourself open to the charge of caring more about petit bourgeois sensibilities than rape/ global warming/ mass famine/ gratuitous clapping etc.

David

If you dare question the necessity to swear, you leave yourself open to the charge of caring more about petit bourgeois sensibilities than rape/ global warming/ mass famine/ gratuitous clapping etc.

True. And for some reason this sprang to mind.

sackcloth and ashes

'She told him to “stop taking the piss out of fucking disability,” claiming that “it’s an access need and it’s fucking sign language.” The sly implication being that her male friend was mocking deaf people, which, from the context, he obviously wasn’t'.

So deaf people can't actually see other folks clapping them?

That's news to me.

Ted S., Catskill Mtns., NY, USA

What's the sound of one jazz hand?

Lancastrian Oik

What's the sound of one jazz hand?

This:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIzAWOnHWZA#t=85

DH

Meanwhile, at another reputable seat of learning....

https://twitter.com/Vazza_d/status/581063216022814720

David

Meanwhile, at another reputable seat of learning....

I don’t have much of a view on gender neutral bathrooms in universities, but I did notice the incompetent spelling.

Kevin B
'She told him to “stop taking the piss out of fucking disability,” claiming that “it’s an access need and it’s fucking sign language.”

Very slightly on topic but I was at a performance of Madama Butterfly at the ROH on Monday which was advertised as having a simultaneous sign language interpretation. Sure enough, on the left of the stage during the performance was an elegantly dressed young woman giving an expert - as far as I could tell - sign language interpretation.

Of course, since the opera was performed in Italian there was, above the stage, an area where English surtitles were projected.

We discussed this during the interval and came to the conclusion that it must tick some 'accessability' box in some government grant application. Either that, or the sign language was in Italian and any hearing impaired italians in the audience could understand what Cio Cio San was singing about.

As an aside, Puccini, the composer of Madama Butterfly, was very fond of percussion and his operas often require more percussion than can fit in the orchestra pit, so in order to cater to this demand one of the boxes was taken over by a percussionist who banged on his big bass drum and clashed his very large cymbals repeatedly throughout the performance. Right next to the young lady doing the sign language translation. I do hope her hearing wasn';t damaged.

David

I was at a performance of Madama Butterfly at the ROH on Monday

And they say this place is a den of ne’er-do-wells.

pst314

"The Amazon Vanguard"

Ironically, the "vanguard" are the foremost parts of a military formation--the pointy tip of the spear, so to speak. It is amusing to think of such fainting violets as a vanguard.

wtp

Having scanned quite a few of Aisling’s tweets and pronouncements, it’s how she seems to operate - as a dishonest little scold.

Fortunately I don't deal with this exact manifestation in my work life. However, increasingly I see more of the similar behavior in a work context. Especially as I am now working closer to government agencies. Increasingly I find it difficult to be in a position of needing to get/give information from/to someone who is a woman. Given past drama blow-ups over some rather simple tasks/requests (there was a specific incident regarding the simple delivery of a fingerprint card that was downright Monty-Pythonesque), I have developed anxiety problems. Given past experience with marriage counselors (yes I droned on whinely about this already) and spending considerable time "understanding" how people who don't have jobs dependent upon objective tasks think, well this is only becoming double-plus ungood. What I'm beginning to believe is that civil society can only remain civil for so long. Eventually, once enough people are required to spend enough time walking on eggshells around the special snowflakes, something is going to give.

Dr Cromarty

My wife (a physician) was upbraided in a meeting by an NHS manager who found the fact that my wife was shaking her head at the ludicrous claims she was making "offensive".
Shaking your head in silent disagreement is now "offensive".
We're doomed.

Nikw211

“WHY WON’T YOU JUST LET ME WIN?!”

That.

I mean, oh my God that.

Also this, which fairly blew my mind, though it does seem to explain rather a lot and gives at least one pertinent answer to the question raised above (emphasis added):

    Innocent until proven guilty is a silencing tactic in which it is argued that any harmful action that did not result in a criminal conviction must not result in any repercussions to the person who did the action, often to the point where it is insisted that they are entitled to have everyone believe that the action did not take place at all, let alone censure them in any way for it.

    It is based on the same principle that is held central in many legal systems.

    Problems with this stance include ….

    Feel free to find out what problems innocent until proven guilty causes to Feminism here.

wtp

Well Dr. C, let me (re-)tell of a diversity training class I was in 20 years ago. It was one BS urban legend after another being told to us. I was squirming a bit in my chair and rolled my eyes a few times as I tried to contain myself. The "teacher" of the class, a small black woman who quite obviously had less experience with the wide diversity of cultures than I did, came after me and lectured me in front of all my coworkers as they were filing past going back to work. I tried to relate this PC-is-getting-out-of-control concern to my doctor during my physical the next day. He, a conservative Presbyterian, told me it was concerning that I took such things seriously. We should just laugh them off. Part of me empathizes with your wife but the occupation-ist in me feels a certain schadenfreude. We were doomed years ago.

Stuck-Record

Aren't the suggested silent alternatives to clapping deeply discriminating against those who are visually impaired.

Imagine a blind speaker getting no feedback. Could be utterly demoralizing.

Kevin B
And they say this place is a den of ne’er-do-wells.

Speaking of ne'er=do-wells, the premiere of Madama Butterfly at La Scala, Milan was received less than enthusiastically by large sections of the audience and Puccini was forced to conclude that his rivals had seeded the audience with malcontents who sought to belittle his acheivement.

And in case you thought that that sort of behavior by opera fans was a thing of the past, last year the premiere of a new production of Mozart's Idomeneo at the ROH was roundly booed.

Which brings us to the point. What is the jazz-hands equivalent of booing if, say, a speaker inadvertantly says coloured instead of black or African American or whatever the correct terminology is this week?

Does one extend the middle finger at the speaker or wave a fist? Or is the good old fashioned tearing limb from limb still the prefered reaction.

David

Aren’t the suggested silent alternatives to clapping deeply discriminating against those who are visually impaired?

Heh. You’re thinking much too rationally. We’re talking about people who choose to spend their time at a conference voting for the following: Abolishing prison in the name of feminism; the “right” of students to more “free” stuff (specifically, leaving taxpayers the bill for that worthless Gender Studies degree); the inevitable boilerplate about Palestine; and the aforementioned claim that gay white men are oppressing black women by “appropriating” their ghetto fabulous finger-snaps.

An NUS Women’s Conference is not an ideal place to find people with a sense of either proportion or realism. Borderline personalities, yes. Future cat ladies, yes. Realism, no.

Hal

"The Amazon Vanguard"

Ironically, the "vanguard" are the foremost parts of a military formation--the pointy tip of the spear, so to speak. It is amusing to think of such fainting violets as a vanguard.

Normally yes, but in this instance this vanguard may simply be the security detail for the large, box shaped truck. If so, they can have a van with lovely air conditioning, a nice selection of tea, more than enough room for couches to recline upon, and it's mobile as well . . .

Stuck-Record

Future cat ladies, yes.

But, also...

Future politicians, yes.
Future BBC and Guardian journalists, yes.
Future heads of departments at Universities, yes.
Future teachers, social workers, NGO leaders etc..., yes.

David

Future BBC and Guardian journalists, yes.

Those too. Though I suspect there’s some overlap with the unhappy cat ladies.

Mr. Saturn

For such a tough minded crusaders they have the toughness of a piece of wet tissue paper.

mojo

At times like these, I fund it helpful to remember Disraeli's definition of diplomacy.

mojo

or possibly Will Rogers. There seems to be some controversy.

wtp

I heard it was Bismark.

tender palms

"For such a tough minded crusaders they have the toughness of a piece of wet tissue paper."

Tough on clapping. Tough on the causes of clapping.

Flynpigranch

A NUS Conference indeed.

sackcloth and ashes

'Please be mindful'.

It's like being in the world of 'Demolition Man'. Only without the prospect of meeting Lenina Huxley.

Steve 2: Steveageddon

Jazz hands are ableist and racist against people who don't have hands, such as Captain Hook.

Poor Captain Hook. Not only is he a disabled man trying to run a small business in the teeth of continual harassment by juvenile delinquents, but if he tried to applaud the NUS Wimmins Conference in the manner they request, people would think he was waving.

Zippgun - Are these some of the people who get ever so cross (righteously) that women aren't allowed to take front line combat roles in the Army?

I think we could use a regiment of Jazz Handing feminist scolds! Think of the confusion in the enemy's ranks when the Royal Regiment of Al Jolson marches into view, waggling their digits disapprovingly.

Their regimental motto could be Reprehendo tuum privilegium. Their cap badge a mailed fist defiantly gripping an iPhone. Their regimental march would be "Female Of The Species" (if the word "female" isn't too triggering).

dicentra

A civlised administration would provide adult diapers, crying towels, and fainting couches.

As if you could get out ahead of these people with mere parody.

Steve 2: Steveageddon

David - titter. According to Conference Motion 512

What a wonderful conference agenda!

Reading it, I felt a little bit like Wendy in 'The Shining', when she discovered Jack had been typing "ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY" over and over again.

But in a good way.

I'm just a man, but I have some suggestions for our female supremacist jazz handers:

* "Bell Hooks" should read "bell hooks". Even I know that. Tsk!


* "Free education would pay for itself. Research shows that for every £1 invested in higher education the economy expands by £2.60."

"Research", eh? :) We should shut down all businesses forthwith, and send everybody to university. We'll all be rich! Rich as Nazis!


* "Everyone should be provided with enough money to live off comfortably – with the ability to afford housing, feed oneself and dependents, buy clothes, afford fuel to heat one’s home and cook, public transport, internet access, a mobile phone and leisure services such as libraries and swimming pools."

And a pony!


* "Palestinian students’ right to education continues to suffer as a result of the illegal occupation of the West Bank and Israel’s brutal siege on Gaza."

PAY NO ATTENTION TO THAT BEARDED MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN!


* "To call for the abolition of the prison-industrial complex."

LET THOSE RAPISTS GO!


* "Closed spaces for liberation groups are extremely important."

This one might read like a motion from Pyongyang, but it came from the Oxford University Students Union. Won't somebody think of the poor Oxford students, fighting for liberation? :(


* "The use of the term “sisters” is exclusionary of some women"

Oh?


* "There are more than two genders and we should always recognise this."

Masculine, feminine, and... miscellaneous?

* "Misgendering someone is an act of violence."

It's literally like kicking someone in the nads, or lady-nads.


* "NUS Womens’ campaign should be monitoring the number of trans students who attend events."

"Excuse me, er, madam, but I notice your rather pronounced Adam's Apple..."


* "To amend the NUS Zero Tolerance Statement policy to cover all NUS events and conferences; and to encourage Unions to ban clubs and societies from holding events which permit or encourage (cisgender) members to use 'cross-dressing' as a mode of fancy dress."

First, they came for the drag queens...


* "“Women’s sanitary products” are a necessity for those who menstruate, most of whom are women, and should be treated as such."

Because men sometimes menstruate.


* "Huge numbers of women suffer from homelessness or insecure housing - this is bad."

Jazz hands!


* "There has been a constant attack on black women’s blackness for centuries."

Stop attacking black women's blackness! This is bad!

Quint&Jessel, Sea of Azof, Bly, UK

Cracking up over here, Steve 2! Oh, the pain....

dicentra

The omission of a pony is the red flag, here.

I cannot and WILL NOT support any movement that fails to promise -- much less provide -- a pony.

ACTOldFart

Can I just go completely OT, and probably break the blog rules, to congratulate Quint&Jessel, Sea of Azof, on her nic? Very cute - the James version, or the Britten?

newrouter

jazz hands news

Until The Whole World Hears

Hal

Ah, Steve . . .

. . . feed oneself and dependents . . .

That is where the free pony comes in. If there are a lot of dependents, one moves up to a Percheron, and if there is just the one student, one moves down to a Great Dane or a St Bernard.

Hal

. . . the inevitable boilerplate about Palestine . . .

FREE PALESTINE!!!!!

With any purchase of Jordan and Syria!!!!!

---Hurry now, offer good only while supplies last!!!

Hal

"Huge numbers of women suffer from homelessness or insecure housing - this is bad."

Oh, in California, it's not just women . . . .

ACTOldFart

"FREE PALESTINE!!!!!

With any purchase of Jordan and Syria!!!!!

---Hurry now, offer good only while supplies last!!!"

Regrettably, however, one might have to evict some extremely unpleasant tenants. You know, the sort that would have some rather harsh prescriptions for the wimmin at the NUS conference.

David

* “To call for the abolition of the prison-industrial complex.”

LET THOSE RAPISTS GO!

Well, quite.

And remember, the people who can spend their days listening to such bollocks, the ones who expect to be given everything for free, i.e., at your expense, the ones who want to abolish prisons and set vermin loose among us, these are in no way, no way at all, “the ruling class.”

They just want to be in charge of everything. Especially your earnings.

Bart

"Misgendering someone is an act of violence."

An do the victims of such violence find it more or less traumatic than clapping?

David

By the way, the feminist jazz-handers are claiming victory over the “trolls,” by which they seem to mean, anyone who even raised an eyebrow at their precious little dramas. The author of the piece, Aliya Yule, an undergraduate at Wadham College, Laurie Penny’s old stomping ground, nonetheless denounces the “all too common derailing of feminism and women’s activism.” You see, their righteousness was being “derailed” by people noticing what they were saying.

Ms Yule goes on to repeat her belief that “prison abolition is a feminist issue,” i.e., a feminist goal, and then, inevitably, she insists that someone else should pay for her degree. Though, frankly, it’s hard to see how anyone else is benefitting from her continued education.

Joan

the feminist jazz-handers are claiming victory over the “trolls,”

'Some mean people laughed at us for being stupid. So we went on being stupid.'

Yay. Victory.

David

‘Some mean people laughed at us for being stupid. So we went on being stupid.’

Pretty much. It bodes well for the future.

Dr Cromarty

Though, frankly, it’s hard to see how anyone else is benefitting from her continued "education".

There, fixed that for you.

Jonathan

Epic mocking on Twitter: https://twitter.com/NUSWomen via Tim Blair

ac1

Real Racism

http://www.independent.co.uk/student/istudents/white-men-should-never-hold-elected-positions-in-british-universities-again-10138945.html

David

Real Racism

The anonymous student author imagines that “people don’t give a toss about their student unions” because they’re “too stunted by white men.” I suspect the chief repellent is the fact that student union politics attracts so many people who are eerily like the author. This, though, was funny, albeit inadvertently: “You’re at university, go and ask a humanities professor. Learn something.”

Dr Cromarty

“You’re at university, go and ask a humanities professor. Learn something.”

Just don't ask anything like "How does one tie shoelaces?" or "How should I cross the road safely?"

David

“You’re at university, go and ask a humanities professor. Learn something.”

And then radically repeat whatever you’ve been told.

Thon Brocket

Jazz hands? Isn't that like, racist?

David

Attention all critics of Hillary Clinton. If you refer to her as “secretive” or “polarising,” that’s sexist. You must not notice the reality of who she is, this chronically disingenuous, morally despicable crone.

Paul - Nottingham

You Monster! That YouTube video on Jazz Hands that you linked to contains clapping and there was NO TRIGGER ALERT (aplogies to those sensitive souls who are traumatised by capital letters.

I'm off to create a conceptual art piece on this debacle.It involves me snoozing in a comfy arm chair* instead of taking the dog for a long walk.

* Apologies to the differently enabled. This should read "chair with padded protrusions in a vertical plane on which any available appendages may be rested in a non-racist, sexist and accepting manner."

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