David Thompson
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September 08, 2017

Comments

Hal

Today’s word is suboptimal.

Shocking, just shocking. But all around electrifying, I'm sure . . .

Hal

The 11 Most Fascinating Things You Can Buy For Your Boobs

Nah, the idiots can go get their own . . . oh, wrong boobs, nevermind.

Hal

Big things at sea.

Especially for that last one, at bath time, I think we're gonna need a bigger tub.

Hal

Designer desserts.

They certainly do add up nicely.

pst314

"Compton car repossession"

Compton is one of those places that civilized people avoid if possible. For those in the UK who may not recognize the name, google "Straight Outta Compton".

Black Ball

Did I not read of one Owen Jones marvelling at the wonder that is the Socialist Venezuela? This tweet may trigger him.
https://twitter.com/HistoryToLearn/status/896430876992483330/photo/1?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=http%3A%2F%2Face.mu.nu%2F

Farnsworth M. Muldoon

Somewhat related to the last thread, and always related to the world of SJWs, The Offenders, brought to you by the always off level Perry Bible Fellowship.

Sam Duncan

“Breast support for side sleepers”

Hmm. Fascinating.

“Especially for that last one, at bath time, I think we're gonna need a bigger tub.”

My first thought was “photoshop”. I had no idea they stacked them up like that. I mean, those are hardly rowing boats. Incredible.

“How Stanley Kubrick ventured beyond the infinite in 1968.”

Related, how one filmmaker attempted same in 2013. With Lego.

“Oh come on, ladies. How can you resist?”

Normally spiders give me the creeps, but that's hilarious. Who knew the Bee Gees were a surefire cure for arachnophobia?

“Modern horrors.”

I just bought myself a new keyboard a few weeks ago (the photos look a bit dull, but you can't really see the rather smart red baseplate that shows through the gaps), and am currently obsessive about keeping it clean. We'll see how long that lasts.

“Compton is one of those places that civilized people avoid if possible. For those in the UK who may not recognize the name, google "Straight Outta Compton".”

It's always struck me as the western hemisphere's answer to The Possil. (“A sports centre was constructed to highlight the rebirth of Possil but has since closed down.”)

R. Sherman

Devils Tower is one of those places everyone should see. . .once. In the summer, there's a huge crowd and they all cram at the bottom near the visitor center. If you can get away from that, there are several miles of hiking trails along the Belle Fourche River which are quite pleasant and doable in a day, all with various views of the Tower. Most of the tribes west of the Mississippi and into the inter-mountain West have legends about it and there are pow-wows there all the time. It's surprising to me that climbing is still allowed at all, given the current climate of microaggressions and political correctness

Pogonip

So did the guy ever get the black widows out of his house?

Pogonip

I like spiders. Anything that eats household pests is besties with me.

Did you know praying mantises are related to cockroaches? Although if you mention it, the mantises will frown fiercely at you and quickly change the subject.

Hal

Anglish - What if English Were 100% Germanic?

TimT

'The dramatic butte'.... snicker.

TimT

100% Germanic English - ie, 'Anglish' - more like 'wanklish'!

Look, I love this shit, I love all the connections between Germanic and both modern German and modern English, which is why I'm studying German at the moment. But a drive for linguistic purity is just stupid. For one thing it relies on a lot of unprovable speculation: we've no idea if we'd call a television a 'farseer' since it's just as likely we'd have come up with an entirely different coinage. Different languages don't always develop in the same ways. For another thing, it's not even new. Charles Dickens and Thackeray were interested in replacing Norman words with Germanic words in the 19th century. And for another thing, 'Anglish' is the wankiest word ever. Sounds like 'anguish'.

Clam

How Stanley Kubrick ventured beyond the infinite in 1968.

Must. Stop. Watching.
Must. Go. To. Work.

Jen

Modern horrors, part two.

That.

David

Morning, all.

That.

Oh, you should run a blog for 10 years. At some point this place became sufficiently happening to be added to the mailing lists of a dozen or so PR companies and various campaigning groups. The effect of which was to clutter my inbox with unsolicited and entirely irrelevant rubbish, hundreds of emails, every month, many of which don’t even extend the minimal courtesy of an ‘unsubscribe’ option. My inbox has learned to automatically trash these things, most of them, but I still occasionally get the urge to manually unsubscribe, in a futile effort to make a point.

Joan

This.

Snort! :-D

David

Snort! :-D

It was one of those threads you really shouldn’t pull at.

Sam

And finally, as first dates go, I suppose it could have been worse.

What?

Seriously, what?

Joan

Seriously, what?

I blame Nando's.

Tim Newman

At some point this place became sufficiently happening to be added to the mailing lists of a dozen or so PR companies and various campaigning groups.

On the subject of humblebragging, here's Laurie Penny.

David

On the subject of humblebragging,

Heh. How very dare you.

R. Sherman

Crime News

The Germans have a special criminal infraction known as "Beamtebeleidigung," which means "offending an official" at it extends to all government employees of any type. My mother-in-law was fined for it some years back when she gestured at a bus driver by tapping her forehead with her index finger which is the German way to say, "You are complete and total bonehead." The bus driver in question had done something goofy in traffic, but no matter. He got her license plate and she received a summons in the mail and wound up paying 100 DM.

Of course, in the U.S. our First Amendment calls that "petitioning the government for grievances."

Tom
The Germans have a special criminal infraction known as "Beamtebeleidigung," which means "offending an official" at it extends to all government employees of any type.

Of course they do. I imagine that's the law that allowed them to arrest the comedian who made fun of Turkey's tin-pot dictator,and I'm going to go out on a limb and say it's a holdover from a previous 'regime', can't recall the name but they liked marching, yelling, and invading other people's countries quite a bit.

They also have some quite disturbing noise abatement laws. I was chatting with a former boss, who was German, about the difficulty of getting young children to sleep at night. He said that his youngest cried so much he was afraid of being fined. Ha ha, I thought, that's a good one. Nope, if his neighbours decided to make a complaint about the noise his son made while crying in the middle of the night, he would be fined.

I can't say that I ever considered Germany as a possible abode but if I did, that nipped it in the bud.

R. Sherman

@Tom

Noise is a big thing. In Germany, if you live in an apartment building, you do not take a shower after 9:30 PM or so, because someone will bitch to the cops.

David

Crime news.

Previously.

R.Sherman

"Previously:"

Collins told cops his 47-year-old neighbor cut the cheese so loudly in his vestibule he heard it inside his apartment before he smelled it.

Of course. It's elementary physics. At 70 degrees Fahrenheit with a relatively low atmospheric humidity, sound travels at around 350 meters per second. The dispersal of an aerosol of intestinal gaseous discharge--which, as we all know, is dependent on volume, temperature, density and air pressure, (itself dependent on various atmospheric conditions)--is significantly slower.

The same thing can be observed with Australians. You hear them before you see them.

David

The same thing can be observed with Australians.

You do realise I’m going to get letters.

R.Sherman

You do realise I’m going to get letters.

Joke stolen from here at 1:26.

Tim Newman

I can't say that I ever considered Germany as a possible abode but if I did, that nipped it in the bud.

They'll fine you for doing 23.6mph in an 18.6mph zone there, on a major road.

Pogonip

Are Mr. Collins's actions justifiable under the 2nd Amendment? Discuss.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

Are Mr. Collins's actions justifiable under the 2nd Amendment ?

Aside from the fact that in New Jersey the Second Amendment barely exists, had he been in a civilized state, and if this story is true, then it could have been considered justifiable use for defense of himself and others.

David

and if this story is true,

I’ve always said this place is educational.

Darleen

Too early to mention that this is a must-have addition to your Christmas reading list?

David

Too early to mention that this is a must-have addition to your Christmas reading list?

And there’s an authorised Die Hard colouring and activity book? Why wasn’t I told?

Daniel Ream

Now, see, that's a parody. These were real. And serious.

I figure the best way to get you into Dune is to ease you into it with a nice no-bake spice cookie recipe.

WTP

Noise is a big thing. In Germany, if you live in an apartment building, you do not take a shower after 9:30 PM or so, because someone will bitch to the cops.

Is that why there's a Switzerland twixt them and Italy?

WTP

And there’s an authorised Die Hard colouring and activity book?

Ooh...can't wait to see the expression on my mother-in-law's face come Christmas morning.

pst314

"Noise is a big thing. In Germany, if you live in an apartment building, you do not take a shower after 9:30 PM or so, because someone will bitch to the cops."

Do all apartments have thin walls and floors?

Pogonip

Re Farnsworth's message about the fart riot: ANTIFArt?

Patrick Brown

And finally, as first dates go...

I'm irresistably reminded of this monologue by the irrestistable Frank Hovis:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSPPGqF3LqM

Farnsworth M. Muldoon

Meanwhile, from The Party of Science™, we get some Spiritual Knowledge about hurricanes.

Squires

I was going to ask just how loud German showers are, but then I thought really it's more a matter of how many people they stuff into one.

Black Ball

You do realise I’m going to get letters.

Nah I got nothing. Entirely correct, particularly on football trips.

jabrwok

On a sadder note, Jerry Pournelle has passed away:-(. Notices at both Instapundit and Chaos Manor.

PiperPaul

Jerry Pournelle :(

Hal

You do realise I’m going to get letters.

'k. here y'are: ajflgjfkvnrirodlckfgiohb

If you like I've got upper case ones too.

Jonathan

Mysterious Mystery Solved!

Turns out to be not very exiting.

Nikw211

I'm in Berlin and I need my hair cut. Preferably by someone with tattoos or piercings who will transform my head into a queer bat signal.

    "I'm in MacDonald's in London and I need my burger and fries pronto. Preferably without these labouring classes with their lack of education cluttering up the place ..."

... may possibly have been what was going through artist Hetty Douglas's mind - and should have stayed there.

The New Statesman, an organ which features Miss Dreadful as "a contributing editor", responds with a lack of irony as notable as it is unsurprising.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

...what was going through artist Hetty Douglas's mind...

Douglas claims that her artwork "simultaneously conveys, subverts and celebrates the complexities of trust, sexual boundaries, and the labyrinth of unspoken intimacies of masculine/feminine truths."

Yes, of course it does. What it does not convey is any technique or particular talent, but it is predictable as these pages have shown repeatedly.

Who can deny the genius of this ?

David

what was going through artist Hetty Douglas’s mind

At risk of sounding terribly catty and superficial, I’m tempted to suggest that this young woman’s face - or rather, her chosen expression for attracting employers via LinkedIn - tells us much of what we need to know about her.

There is, I think, some information there.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

There is, I think, some information there.

To be fair, for her ilk, she is remarkably free of weird hair, or normally visible piercings and bad tattoos.

WTP

Such as...

Farnsworth M. Muldoon

Normally visible; no silly neck/face/hand, and in most photos she has long sleeves on, perhaps because the clientele of the capitalist patriarchy run posh clothes shop she works at wouldn't like it.

If you have photos of piercings, please do not share...

Joan

There is, I think, some information there.

A bad case of Resting Bitch Face?

David

A bad case of Resting Bitch Face?

It does convey a certain sour, pouty insolence. As if she’s habitually letting people know how inferior they are. Perhaps it’s just a random quirk of physiognomy, but then again, maybe not.

WTP

Normally visible

Yeah, I gotcha. Still ugly, though. I find the numerous small, scattered tats to be a bit uglier than the contiguous ones. Of course she's still young. Plenty of time to connect the dots. Plus, that bitch face in almost every photo. That's kinda almost sorta effectively a tattoo.

Farnsworth M. Muldoon

I find the numerous small, scattered tats to be a bit uglier than the contiguous ones.

No argument there, I don't understand the concept of the random small ones, you would think a self proclaimed artist would have some sort of plan. Then again, from her paintings, maybe not...

Daniel Ream

I don't understand the concept of the random small ones

Tattoos are priced by size.

Pogonip

http://mysteriousuniverse.org/2017/09/new-tasmanian-tiger-sighting-caught-on-video/

What do you think? Thylacine, or quoll? Me, I'd be out looking for "scat" samples, as they're politely called. All God's critters gotta poop, and if you find a sample and can definitely rule out quolls, and any other animals common in the area, that's a strong piece (or pile) of evidence in favor of the thylacine.

Pogonip

Worst case of Bitch Face I ever saw was in a picture of a woman holding an adorable puppy, frowning into the camera. How is it even possible to look sour and bitchy with a cute puppy wiggling and wagging in your hands?

Hal

How is it even possible to look sour and bitchy with a cute puppy wiggling and wagging in your hands?

Ehn, basically by definition, 'cause it's a puppy:

Oh, Bugger. This thing's gonna start peeing all over the place in four, three, two . . . .

Now, if you have a kitten and get the same reaction, then, quite literally, that's a different animal.

Pogonip

In all the years my mom bred poodles, I don't think I ever got peed on. The puppy was always too busy trying to figure out how to simultaneously lick my face and attack my fingers. I got puked on a few times, though, and there was the time when a puppy bumbling around in the grass fell over my toes, barked vigorously at them, then emitted a satisfied snort and trotted off, confident that he'd told those toes what's what.

QuintAmpersandJessel

Hetty wants to move to NY or LA because she thinks big cities are more "open-minded." You know, people in big cities don't judge laborers as being ignorant whilst standing in line, or anything.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

Hetty wants to move to NY or LA because she thinks big cities are more "open-minded."

It is a fair point, whenever I think of small rural towns and villages, the first place that comes to my mind is London (England, not that metropolis of 900 people in Arkansas).

PiperPaul


Google's info-nugget thing shows London's population as 383,822.

Daniel Ream

We have a Stratford, too, with an Avon River and everything.

Farnsworth M. Muldoon

I see I’m going to have to use my red pen.

Figures the Canucks would name the river and city the same as in England, population 10.5 million. The closest we come in the US and A to that sort of thing is Paris, Kentucky, which is on the South Fork of the Licking River which may seem suggestively French (or ecosexual), but it ain't the Seine.

Farnsworth M. Muldoon

Derp, that last was to PiperPaul's last about London, Ontario...

PiperPaul

Hey, there's a Paris in Ontario, too! It's near Cambridge. I don't think they parlez le francais there, though.

Jonathan

This made me LoL:

http://twitter.com/AwardsDarwin/status/906820047225704453

PiperPaul

I found where this incident happened:
http://www.flyingfishbahamas.com/


(Disclosure: restaurant owned by people I know)

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