Ah, but it’s no ordinary horse. It’s Comet the Superhorse, which somehow makes it alright. And, obviously, when a comet passes through our solar system, this, um, magical horse - which sort of belongs to Supergirl - briefly turns into a man - who sort of dates Supergirl. It’s a complicated relationship.
"What arouses Kal-El's mating urge? Did kryptonian women carry some subtle mating cue at appropriate times of the year? Whatever it is, Lois Lane probably didn't have it. We may speculate that she smells wrong, less like a kryptonian woman than like a terrestrial monkey."
"One sperm arrives before the others. It penetrates the egg, forms a lump on it's surface, the cell wall now thickens to prevent other sperm From entering. Within the now-fertilized egg, changes take place...
And ten million kryptonian sperm arrive slightly late.
Were they human sperm, they would be out of luck. But these tiny blind things are more powerful than a locomotive. A thickened cell wall won't stop them. They will *all* enter the egg, obliterating it entirely in an orgy of microscopic gang rape. So much for artificial insemination.
“[W]ith kryptonian muscles behind it, Kal-El’s semen would emerge with the muzzle velocity of a machine gun bullet. (One can imagine that the Kent home in Smallville was riddled with holes during Superboy’s puberty. And why did Lana Lang never notice that?)”
Let me get this straight. Supergirl gets it on with a horse? :)
Posted by: Anna | December 08, 2008 at 08:35
Ah, but it’s no ordinary horse. It’s Comet the Superhorse, which somehow makes it alright. And, obviously, when a comet passes through our solar system, this, um, magical horse - which sort of belongs to Supergirl - briefly turns into a man - who sort of dates Supergirl. It’s a complicated relationship.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comet_the_Superhorse
Comet the Superhorse is not to be confused with Beppo the Supermonkey, Krypto the Superdog or any other members of the Legion of Super-Pets.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legion_of_Super-Pets
Posted by: David | December 08, 2008 at 08:42
The context actually makes it worse.
Posted by: Anna | December 08, 2008 at 08:50
Does Beppo the super-monkey throw his own super-faeces?
Posted by: James S | December 08, 2008 at 09:51
Apparently those from Kryton have different drives.
Here we learn why Superman is a virgin
http://www.rawbw.com/~svw/superman.html
Posted by: TDK | December 08, 2008 at 10:11
Ah, Larry Niven’s finest hour.
“Does Beppo the super-monkey throw his own super-faeces?”
Yes, I believe so. At bone-shattering velocity.
Posted by: David | December 08, 2008 at 10:52
"What arouses Kal-El's mating urge? Did kryptonian women carry some subtle mating cue at appropriate times of the year? Whatever it is, Lois Lane probably didn't have it. We may speculate that she smells wrong, less like a kryptonian woman than like a terrestrial monkey."
Heh.
Posted by: Baltar's Beard | December 08, 2008 at 15:43
"First we must collect the semen."
Then the *magic* begins:
"One sperm arrives before the others. It penetrates the egg, forms a lump on it's surface, the cell wall now thickens to prevent other sperm From entering. Within the now-fertilized egg, changes take place...
And ten million kryptonian sperm arrive slightly late.
Were they human sperm, they would be out of luck. But these tiny blind things are more powerful than a locomotive. A thickened cell wall won't stop them. They will *all* enter the egg, obliterating it entirely in an orgy of microscopic gang rape. So much for artificial insemination.
But LL's problems are just beginning. "
Torn apart by super-sperm. Not a good way to go.
Posted by: Candice | December 08, 2008 at 20:38
It’s tough on the furnishings too:
“[W]ith kryptonian muscles behind it, Kal-El’s semen would emerge with the muzzle velocity of a machine gun bullet. (One can imagine that the Kent home in Smallville was riddled with holes during Superboy’s puberty. And why did Lana Lang never notice that?)”
Posted by: David | December 08, 2008 at 21:08
"(One can imagine that the Kent home in Smallville was riddled with holes during Superboy's puberty. And why did Lana Lang never notice that?)"
LOL. The Larry Niven thing is hilarious.
Posted by: Anna | December 09, 2008 at 13:40
It does set the mind rolling on a bizarrely comedic track.
“Clark, what are you up to in there?”
“Er, nothing, Ma. I’ll… just… just be a sec…”
*BOOM!*
[ Ma Kent flees house as crockery shatters and timbers rattle. ]
Posted by: David | December 09, 2008 at 13:51
They should do that in 'Heroes'. :)
Posted by: Anna | December 09, 2008 at 14:05
I'm SO glad I found this place. :)
Posted by: newbie | December 09, 2008 at 22:09