It Tastes of Hyperbole
October 06, 2009
Here’s a product with no pressing need to exist. Wine… for gay men:
Spanish UO! Wines is a line of three wines created with homosexual men in mind, and its descriptions, packaging and website imagery were all tailored accordingly. UO! Ánima Blanca, for example, is a Sauvignon Blanc and Verdejo blend featuring earth tones and “wisps of flowers and fruit – the perfect accompaniment to a gathering of friends on a hot day, whether the heat comes from within or without.”
I swear I’m not making this up.
It smells of ripe, dark fruits, fragrant, a steamy jungle… Taste it. Raise the glass to your lips and you’ll notice deep and balanced flavours, they are sumptuous, you can almost chew on them, they fill you.
Oh, there’s more.
And Hadrian ordered that one thousand marble statues be built in his name… When you try it, shut your eyes and imagine that you are licking rivulets of syrup from his body.