David Thompson


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March 17, 2010



Simultaneously impressive yet disturbing at the same time. There is no comment as to the state of tumescence however which would give at least a measure of true truncheonality.

These things are important.


I'd have thought waving your tackle around the hard head of a seated woman who may decide to stand up VERY abruptly was a remarkably dumb thing to do...


"but she got out of the way."

lol What was its range?


“What was its range?”

Alas, the report doesn’t say. I like how it’s currently the “top story” from the North East.



“The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face'

She was on her knees?


I’d imagine she was seated. I wonder if police training covers this kind of thing.

Karen M

Two words. Pepper spray.




Some real gems in the comments to the above link...ooh matron.


"Two words. Pepper spray."


Mr Eugenides

Lenient sentence, too; if you offered me the chance to wave my cock in a policewoman's face for 600 quid, I'd give it serious consideration.

At any rate, he avoided doing hard time.

Dr. Westerhaus

I'm guessing she'd either 'dropped her log book' (cue whoopee whistle), or was tying her bootlaces - or something. The scenario makes sense until you consider their relative positions, and then it all gets very strange.

Mind still boggling furiously, even now...

Chris S

My question is what was the gent in this story thinking would happen after he did this. Was he expecting some cheesy porno ending where she's all impressed and they get it on? Was he hoping that he'd get tasered in the jibblies? I'm at a loss.

You have to consider that at one point in his interaction with the police officer that day he thought "You know what I should do, I should whip it out and stick it in the face of this police officer. Yes, that would be the logical thing to do." AND then actually do it. There were mental processes involved, and THIS is what they came up with.


She shoulda pulled out her gun, saying, 'that's not a phallic symbol. THIS is a phallic symbol.'

wayne fontes

It's really not that shocking a story. Many men have had their penis thwarted by female evasive action. Oldest story in the book.


Dang. There's never a tube of superglue around when you need one ...

Mr Eugenides

What would Julie Bindel say?


"Annella Cowan was told that the Lithuanian had now quit binge drinking because of the incident."

Well, let's not do anything rash. Plenty of binge drinkers lead happy, productive lives that do not involve the flailing about of willies.

Spiny Norman

Should I be surprised to discover that alcohol was involved?

Rich Rostrom

TimT: This is a British police officer. Gun? what gun.

In general: this reminds me of this story from GaijinSmash, the webdiary of a black American dude living in Japan (can't access the story due to bandwidth issues, so here goes from memory): The narrator is in the locker room at his health club. He's just showered, is standing at his locker about to get dressed, and... the obasan (little old lady) cleaner comes up beside him. (Yes, in Japan little old ladies clean up the men's locker room while men are using it.)"Uh-oh - if I turn suddenly, I'll turkey slap her right in the face..."

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