David Thompson


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June 19, 2011


Andy M


You might be interested in the Arty Bollocks generator here:


(h/t: Mick Hartley)


Shit art. Nice shoes.


Professor Keith Boadwee, whose colonic evacuations and “explorations of identity politics” are seared into the art world’s collective memory

David, where's the 'unsee' button?


Glad I read this long before Sunday lunch...


“David, where's the ‘unsee’ button?”

No refunds. Credit note only.

In other arts news

Edward Alan Feldman will be the recipient of a 24-hour hug from his conceptual artist son beginning at 12 a.m. Sunday. “It is meant to be both a healing and transformative experience,” said Brian Feldman. “How often does one have the opportunity to embrace their own father for this period of time? It will likely be the hardest project I have done to date.” […] Brian Feldman was inspired to perform the 24-hour hug by artist Young Sun Han, who hugged a stranger selected through a Craigslist ad in Chicago for 21 hours on Dec. 31, 2008. Han gave Feldman permission to recreate the piece.

carbon based lifeform

Shit art. Nice shoes.

It's shit and it's been done.



If that's art, so was my last tequila hangover.


Honk if you like art.


“It’s shit and it’s been done.”

Yes, it’s all been done before, several times. A narcissistic art student named Jubal Brown won fleeting notoriety by vomiting dye onto paintings by Mondrian and others. And everything about this latest stunt is even more wearisome. It’s just another nasty little ego shrieking for attention. Even the musical juxtaposition is hackneyed. But someone somewhere will be squinting and contorting in an attempt to see some deep and poignant commentary on consumerism, objectification, artistic practice, etc.

They’ll be utter wankers, of course. That goes without saying.

Dr. Westerhaus

Michael Vaughan, former Yorkshire and England cricketer, also 'makes art' in a similar way by hitting a painty cricket ball against a canvas, and then flogging them off as 'spontaneous' works - equally vapid as the above, but at least he's reasonably honest about his art bollocks, and doesn't charge insane prices, though they're still an utter rip-off, given his actual profession. As an artist who once played cricket, it's plain to see that being famous is far more important than either skill, if you want to rake in the cash...


Here you go:


As an American I prefer this because it involves a high powered weapon and a hot Southern Gal. Like vomit-girl, this one may be crazy, too, but it's my kind of crazy.


I think this one is worse (NSFW): http://keithboadwee.com/artwork/645131_Purple_Squirt.html


“As an artist who once played cricket, it’s plain to see that being famous is far more important than either skill, if you want to rake in the cash...”

Fame – or being noticed, even laughed at – is, I think, the key, certainly for people like Ms Brown. And there are lots of people just like her. But maybe some sympathy is in order. After all, what’s a pathological narcissist to do if she has no discernable talent, no reason to be noticed? It’s either crap like this or a career as a serial killer.

And when it comes to regurgitating liquids, she’s not even very good at it. This chap, for instance, is miles ahead.

The funny thing is, Jubal Brown claimed to have vomited on the Mondrian painting because he found it “'oppressively trite and painfully banal.” Well, I don’t particularly like Mondrian’s paintings, but ostentatiously “transgressive” art became trite and banal much more rapidly than anything it was supposedly protesting against. It became redundant and sad practically overnight. This is partly due to the fact that “transgressive” artists can’t help but keep their own dismal egos in the spotlight. Despite the blather about identity politics and Very Serious Subject Matter, Keith Boadwee can’t bear to take himself out of the picture:

“Here I am naked and smeared with paint, unattractively.”

“Here I am shitting paint onto a canvas, unattractively.”

“Oh look, here are my unattractive genitals.”

“Oh look, here they are again.”

carbon based lifeform

It’s either crap like this or a career as a serial killer.

Tough call.


I must have a copy of the work..

Where does one send a cheque?.


“Where does one send a cheque?”

Sadly, Ms Brown’s masterpiece has been sold.

But for £4,000 you could buy Puke on Gaga, a two-minute film in which Ms Brown does her thing with – or rather on – Lady Gaga, who is, I gather, a happening pop artiste.


That's my ex's cousin that is.

Miserable bugger she is.


My parents tried, and failed, to dissuade me from a career as an artist. They should have told me that the field was full of dreary gits like this. It might have worked.


In it, Ms Brown “explores the relationship between music and performance art via self-induced vomiting.” The word explores is of course obligatory and, given the context, entirely devoid of meaning.

At least she wasn't 'interrogating' it. That's usually what they say they're doing.


“At least she wasn't ‘interrogating’ it.”

You’d think there’d be a drinking game for art press release bollocks. And given the amount of exploring and interrogating that’s apparently taking place, you’d think these people would by now be announcing their amazing discoveries.

I mean, what exactly does self-induced vomiting tell us about “the relationship between music and performance art”? And how does it do this? And when will the findings be published?


Funny...same thing happens to me whenever I hear will.i.am, but you don't see me asking for thousands of dollars (excuse me, pounds) in compensation...


Been done. There was a group of artists from Richmond, VA who did this onstage with bands. This was about 1988.


Perhaps a "NSFW" on some of the Boadwee links wouldn't go amiss....?

David Davis

Jesus H Christ...that is utterly repellent and disgusting. Who the f***'s paying these vile, low people to be like that? It couldn't be the State, could it? I shall have to Facbook it, I'm sorry (time to Buzz The Tower.)


"Who the f***'s paying these vile, low people to be like that"

If you pay tax, then you are.


Blue Milk: it's not just for Star Wars, now.

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