David Thompson


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May 23, 2012



"No more mayonnaise mishaps.."

Ah, but new Helmann's squeezy bottles fixed that one already!


I’m conflicted on the whole condiment delivery issue. For mayonnaise, I stick with the large glass jar, aided of course by a long thin spoon. Yet I’m a huge fan of squeezy Marmite, which allows for precision delivery and whimsical pattern-making.




Yet I’m a huge fan of squeezy Marmite, which allows for precision delivery and whimsical pattern-making.

You can't have toast without a Marmite smiley face.

Ted S., Catskill Mtns., NY, USA


I'm sure any other Americans my age or older will remember that. And we Americans don't put Marmite on our toast at all, if we've even heard of it. (Again, Americans my age and above would know Vegemite if only from the Men at Work song "Down Under".)


And just think. Years from now, when we’re all basking in the glory of our low-friction condiment containers, this advert won’t make sense.


But will it get rid of the scabby bits around the rim?

Jason Bontrager

Upon viewing that clip I felt like bursting out in song!



"First World Problems"?

Cry me a God damn river, sk60.

Because, hey, it's not like a lubricative nanocoating financed by those icky first world problems will ever benefit the entire world by making something useful to poor people (or that makes them richer) cheaper, easier, or possible in the first place, as a first, second, or third order effect, right?



Instead why not make Ketchup out of superfluid Helium 3?
Or did it fall through the container?


Sigivald - the number 1 'First World Problem' is the luxury of worrying whether your problems are up to snuff...

Mike James

It will be fun seeing what all the possible applications for this end up being. I'm thinking there will be some way this is useful in the medical field. I thank the God that made me that my problems are First World problems.


I just want them to be able to coat my arteries with the damn stuff!


Those people are going to be very, very, very rich.


Then again Tim Worstall makes a rather good point. Maybe, just maybe, those people are going to be very, very, very averagely incomed.


Big Condiment will by them out and bury this deep, deep down, people.




perview is you're fiend


TimT and Rob,

“Big Condiment will buy them out and bury this deep, deep down, people.”

Heh. As noted at Tim’s and elsewhere, the economics could be interesting. I suppose it chiefly depends on whether the assumed long-term loss of sales (due to an assumed reduction in waste) would be offset by marketing the novelty of the thing and its ‘low waste’ aspect, thereby attracting customers from rivals.

Though I can’t say the prospect of saving some tiny amount of mayonnaise or ketchup has much bearing on my condiment shopping. I buy mayo in a traditional glass jar, even though it’s supposedly more wasteful than the squeezy plastic option. There’s something about the consistency that seems different, at least to me. And besides, a long thin spoon reaches most of the nooks and crannies.

Blimey. Who knew condiment delivery was such a thrilling topic?


Next: cruet sets!


There's another reason that the new bottle might not lead to a loss in sales: when it's finished, it's finished. So you'd throw it away immediately and buy a new one. With a traditional bottle, however, you tend to say, 'still a little bit left,' and put it back in the cupboard. The next time you use it you say, 'still a tiiiny little bit left' ... and put it back in the cupboard. Result: a gap in your ketchup acquisition profile that benefits neither you nor the manufacturer. I reckon Heinz should 'stick' to this one like glue.


We used to put a bit of water in the 'still a little bit left' bottle, and shake. The result would still have a sauce consistency but be much easier to come out.

Rob Huck

I hear these guys will next be working on a non-nutriative cereal varnish.

Nano Coating

Great post.

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