David Thompson
Subscribe

Categories

Blog powered by Typepad

« Friday Ephemera | Main | Elsewhere (94) »

June 01, 2013

Comments

mlrosty

My brother-in-law lives near Sheffield. He says the locals call it MeadowHell.

David

He says the locals call it MeadowHell.

The Other Half, who also dislikes crowded shopping centres, suggested “MeadowHelmandProvince.”

Incidentally, thirty seconds with Google reveals Ms Paradise’s secret to feeling fabulous in heels:

A lot of women I work with want to know how to walk in high heels confidently, elegantly and without too much pain. They think I have a magic solution to doing this and I do. Are you ready? Just wear them! I can hear you say “Is that it?” Yes, that’s it. None of us were born wearing high heels, were we? Therefore we need to practice. Wear them every day for about 15-30 minutes while you are doing other things like cooking, ironing, walking around the house so that they feel so natural and so comfortable that you forget about them and they feel like they have always been on your feet. Do this for about a month and you will see the difference and you will forget you have them on your feet.

I’m glad we’ve cleared up another of life’s great mysteries.

Lovegoats

It's come on a bit - when I lived in Sheffield it was a socialist utopia and there were no shoes to buy.

TimT

I feel this way about a lot of the stuff they have classes on these days. I make a bit of cheese and beer at home, and then I read about others going to classes to learn the same thing. Whaaaaaaa? Just open up the recipe book and go for it. It's not that hard a skill to learn.

Just Off The M1

Darnation, i was in Meadowhall and I never saw that poster. But then I was watching all the people whose superior culture means the women aren't allowed to wear high heels. Oh, wait... was that MeadowHelmandProvince?

Jason

At least she's teaching a practical skill, which is more than can be said about far too much of the education industry nowadays:-(.

dcardno

... and she's not doing it on my (or your) dime, Jason.

BenSix

You're very cynical, David. Perhaps you should change your mind for good.

David

BenSix,

…the only efficient way to break a pattern is to find out what it is and then get the unconscious to change it. This is best done in a trance…

Oh my. So Ms Paradise is much, much more than a finder of fashion solutions. She’s an all-round lifestyle guru. Practically a healer. If I sign up do I get an amulet?

Ted S., Catskill Mtns., NY, USA

I would have guessed that David wants to change his mind for evil. ;-)

David

Ted,

I would have guessed that David wants to change his mind for evil.

Hey, I can get this shabby treatment at home, thank you very much.

Trimegistus

Having watched my daughter and her female classmates tottering around at their high-school prom this spring, I can definitely see a market for classes in how to do it.

AC1

Think this post is a little mean.

You wouldn't write in the same manner about a ski-instructor.

dicentra

I could swear I saw an article at Instapundit's that said men don't notice the difference between a woman in stilettos and a woman in flats, but naturally I can't find it.

That being the case, why, ladies why?

#flatsforever

dicentra

Sounds like roaches have evolved or invented a force field: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/spain/10091642/Briton-thrown-through-wall-by-exploding-insect-repellent.html

Reed

For some, footwear decisions are apparently quite a tortuous affair...

http://www.guardian.co.uk/fashion/2013/jan/28/can-feminist-wear-high-heels

Women are also, by and large, smart enough to tell when they, as individuals, feel elevated or downtrodden by something and whether their feelings come genuinely from themselves or because they have been brainwashed by the patriarchal society.

Translation - anything I like should be considered 'feminist empowerment', but if I disapprove it's definitely patriarchal oppression. It's a conveniently flexible blame game.

"In my two-inch heels I feel mobile, comfortable, confident, stylish and, most of all, I feel like myself. And you can't get more feminist than that."

Seems like she's overthinking this, but I'm just a bloke, so what do I know. I don't really see much self-empowerment in my black Brogues.

David

AC1,

Think this post is a little mean.

Well, Ms Paradise may be slightly bonkers and her skillset somewhat niche, but, as others have noted, at least she’s doing it on her own dime. If middle-aged ladies want to improve their ability to wear uncomfortable shoes and will hand over money to do so, then so be it. Odd or not, Ms Paradise’s trade is still more respectable than that of many Guardian columnists and most publicly funded artists.

You wouldn’t write in the same manner about a ski-instructor.

Heh. I now have a mental image of hundreds of people trying to walk around a crowded Meadowhall in skis. Maintaining the necessary spacing would be the really tricky part, I think. That and the escalators. Though given the lack of snow and steep inclines, I think Ms Paradise’s masterclass is more like teaching people how to walk with fifteen marbles in each sock.

Col. Milquetoast

I could swear I saw an article at Instapundit's that said men don't notice the difference between a woman in stilettos and a woman in flats, but naturally I can't find it.

Men may not consciously notice it but generally I'm pretty sure most men will say the legs of the woman in high heels look better than the legs of the woman in flats even if it is the same woman. They may not know why nor care. My theory is that men tend to like looking at women and don't care about shoes.

David, expertise can be not only an understanding of a subject but an ability to explain it to those who don't understand or fundamentally misunderstand. Some people do indeed need lessons in walking in heels as otherwise they walk around like a cat wearing boots or a velociraptor with an inner ear problem stomping ants.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4eTA4SJ7aos

David

a velociraptor with an inner ear problem stomping ants.

That’s about how I’d fare in heels, I think.

Franklin

I now have a mental image of hundreds of people trying to walk around a crowded Meadowhall in skis.

I now have a mental image of Olympic downhill stiletto-walking.

And any rate, the instructor's tuition might have prevented this tragedy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgN84tuTzF8

mojo

Not to mention being a professional walker...

No Good Boyo

She'll throw in a free tutorial on chewing gum at the same time.

sackcloth and ashes

'Having watched my daughter and her female classmates tottering around at their high-school prom this spring, I can definitely see a market for classes in how to do it'.

If she were to relocate near Lympstone she could help the Royal Marines with a crucial part of their training.

(For the potential benefit of some of our visitors - booties like cross-dressing in their spare time).

Mr Grumpy

1 Harley Street, eh? There's gold in them thar heels.

David

There’s gold in them thar heels.

Someone fetch his coat.

Tim Newman

Russian women get taught this by their mothers. I'm still amazed by their ability to walk across sheet ice in skyscraper heels without breaking step...or their necks.

The comments to this entry are closed.

Blogroll