Friday Ephemera

Velociraptor prank. // A herd of deer relaxes in Japan. // Pig head cake. Nummy nummy num. // Unused Bond themes, including Johnny Cash’s Thunderball and Alice Cooper’s Man with the Golden Gun. // Narrow apartments squeezed between buildings. // Self-balancing robot sofa. // Llama therapy. // Fritz Lang’s M. // Mongolian hotel. // Oh, Firefly, we miss you. // Chick fight. // Infuse your vodka. // Unused Avengers intros, 1 and 2. // Tiny and spinning fast in search of quantum friction. // The whereabouts of snails. // SR-71. // Cloud, Alberta. // Control panels of note. // And why are there always trainers hanging from phone lines? 

Comments

[rabbit]

Then there's Blondie's For Your Eyes Only, which needed tightening up but had promise.

[JuliaM]

" A herd of deer relaxes in Japan."

And, being Japan, everyone drives courteously and no-one hassles them.

[rjmadden]

Johnny Cash's Thunderball

It's very Johnny Cash but not very Bond.

[Jacob]

Unused Avengers intros, 1 and 2.

The first one would've been cool. (Second one's been taken down by Disney. Bastards.)

[Ted S., Catskill Mtns., NY, USA]

Late 16th century Icelandic culture

I especially like the bit on drinking culutre:

On drinking culture: “When sitting around the table drinking alcoholic beverage, it is not appropriate to go to the bathroom. A woman must monitor the table and respond when signaled. She’ll hand over a pot, which goes under the table. When all this is happening, everyone grunts like pigs, so nobody can hear what is going on.”

[David]

When all this is happening, everyone grunts like pigs, so nobody can hear what is going on.

For six and a half years I’ve been saying this place is highbrow and educational. Today, finally, I feel validated.

[Mr Grumpy]

I love the way those "micro-home apartments" are made even more claustrophobic by being "in playful shapes". Architects, bless 'em!

[Anna]

Where bloggers blog.

[sackcloth and ashes]

'It's very Johnny Cash but not very Bond'.

My thoughts exactly. I do like the man in black, but there was a good reason for rejecting this song.

As for Alice Cooper and 'The Man With the Golden Gun', I suppose it might have made for a good theme had John Barry refined it a bit. The thing about the real theme is that without Lulu and the Austin Powersesque lyrics, it would have worked pretty well as an instrumental (just like 'OHMSS').

IMHO, the theme songs should be ranked as follows (excluding 'Dr No', which lacks its own theme, and 'Never Say Never Again', which was (a) not part of the official series and (2) shit).

Some may correspond to the quality of the film. Others do not.

(22) Die Another Day.
(21) Octopussy.
(20) Moonraker.
(19) Licence to Kill.
(18) Quantum of Solace.
(17) A View to a Kill.
(16) The Man with the Golden Gun (bin the lyrics).
(15) From Russia With Love (Matt Munro's version at the end is just dull. Far better as an instrumental at the beginning).
(14) Thunderball.
(13) The World is Not Enough.
(12) Goldeneye.
(11) The Living Daylights.
(10) Tomorrow Never Dies.
(9) For Your Eyes Only.
(8) The Spy Who Loved Me.
(7) You Only Live Twice.
(6) Casino Royale (NOT the spoof).
(5) Live and Let Die.
(4) Skyfall (even if it does sound a bit like 'Diamonds are Forever').
(3) OHMSS.
(2) Diamonds are Forever (great song, weak film).
(1) Goldfinger.

[Rich Rostrom]

And why are there always trainers hanging from phone lines?

In honor of Sgt. William "the Old Shoe" Schumann, hero of the Albanian War of 1997.

[David]

The Casino Royale theme, like the film, was a pleasant surprise. And I won’t have a word said against Lulu’s ultra-camp cheesefest. “He has a pow-er-ful wea-pon…”

Oh, come on.

[Elephants Gerald]

Whilst I am happy to accept that Goldfinger is musically powerful and has probably Basseys' best vocal performance, the lyrics are dreadful - which is why Diamonds are forever should be number one!

If you want the lovliest of Barrys music, there is an instrumental of You Only Live Twice which has a subtly and chromatic beauty all its own. There is also a flute solo version of View to A Kill that makes me wish Duran Duran had never been allowed near the thing.

[David]

(2) Diamonds are Forever (great song, weak film).

It’s not the best film, no. It does, however, leave the viewer with this mental image, which does partly compensate.

[mojo]

Dinosaurs wore blue jeans? Who knew?

[JuliaM]

"(6) Casino Royale (NOT the spoof)."

Ah, but that Herb Alpert theme has a louche quality all it's own, doesn't it?

[sackcloth and ashes]

'And I won’t have a word said against Lulu’s ultra-camp cheesefest. “He has a pow-er-ful wea-pon…”'

More innuendo in it than you can find in an Italian suppository factory.

'It does, however, leave the viewer with this mental image, which does partly compensate'.

Ah, yes. Charles Gray as Ernst Stavro. He wasn't exactly a particularly menacing head of SPECTRE even before he appears in drag.

While Donald Pleasance channeled Heinrich Himmler into his performance, Gray channeled Alan Clark. The confrontation between him and 007 in the Penthouse has all the dramatic tension of a Parish Council meeting. You have to keep reminding yourself that Bond is face-to-face with the man who murdered his wife.

'If you want the lovliest of Barrys music, there is an instrumental of You Only Live Twice which has a subtly and chromatic beauty all its own'.

Barry's scores were an audial delight. On another thread I've already commented on the soundtrack for 'OHMSS', notably the music accompanying Bond's escape by ski from Piz Gloria. 'YOLT' also had the qualities you describe, as shown in this car chase clip. I include it for the music ... and also the excuse to feast my eyes again on the lovely Akiko Wakabayashi (who stole my heart the first time I saw the film thirty years ago, along with her co-star Mie Hama):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLAo27BtBJ0

[Xray]

You may think this somewhat weird, David, as do I. But just before clicking on your 20:50 I was asking myself just how long... good for you, but actually much better for us. Thank you for your work.

[David]

good for you, but actually much better for us.

That depends on how heaving the tipjar is.

[Runcie Balspune]

And why are there always trainers hanging from phone lines?

Back in my day, before trainers, there were Clackers.

[Runcie Balspune]

In the UK you can see an SR-71 up close at the American Air Museum, part of the Imperial War Museum Duxford, along with many other awesome aircraft.

[Spiny Norman]

mojo,

Dinosaurs wore blue jeans? Who knew?

Heh. Still an awesome prank, though.

[Tim Newman]

On the 'raptor prank video...check out the one beneath it, the prank in the elevator. Now that would make me shit a brick.