Why, It’s Practically Witchcraft

Found here, where there are thousands - yes, thousands - of equally stunning insights. One for our collection of agonies, I think.

Comments

[rjmadden]

Wow. It's a goldmine.

"The goal of the McDonald's corporation is to create a culture that is high on speed, high on consumption, high on destruction."

"McDonald's turns eating into a commercial experience; this of course destroys millions of bodies."

"McDonald's is a fascistic organization opening up new symbols of capitalist imperialism in every corner of the world."

"McDonald's poisons the population by destroying the ability of people to create their own food."

"The McDonald's Corporation designs sterile spaces, meant to turn consumption into surgical experiences."

I'm only on the first page.

[David]

Given the rate at which these stern warnings are churned out, I can’t decide whether it’s a brilliant robot parody or someone with a serious mental health problem.

[peter horne]

Brilliant, it has a mesmerizing effect like bad poetry written by a deranged adolescent who's just discovered how cool it is sticking it to "the man". Lunacy.

[Elephants Gerald]

Wow - this person is one bad tequila away from going postal....

10mg Chlorpromazine - and a little lithium - daily for about 20 years should fix him right up.

Maybe he was frightened by the Hamburgler when he was quite small.

[John D]

Someone really didn't like their cheeseburgers.

[Anna]

"McDonald's food is full of additives that fatten up citizens and lower the chance of active political rebellion."

I knew it!

[David]

“McDonald’s food is full of additives that fatten up citizens and lower the chance of active political rebellion.”

There is an Occupy McDonald’s movement. And when I say movement, I mean a pile of hippies and narcissistic misfits pissing about and irritating people while they’re trying to eat.

[RS]

Those bastards.

[sk60]

"McDonald's executives are soul thieves, body-destroyers, paid by the capitalists to subvert healthy working-class bodies."

[Alex]

Am I the only person to be reminded of Jack Nicholson hammering away at the typewriter in 'The Shining'?
Oh, OK.

[Anna]

What's disturbing is that he/she/it has 15,330 followers.

[the wolf]

There's only one thing to do: Tag him/her in even more ridiculous McDonald's tweets. Though it's difficult to outdo the original ones.

[Jack Torrance]

All work and no McDonalds makes someone a dull boy.

[rjmadden]

"McDonald's executives are soul thieves, body-destroyers, paid by the capitalists to subvert healthy working-class bodies."

Paid by the capitalists? Surely they mean The Jews?

[AC1]

http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Poe%27s_Law

With the advantage that the "parody"? seems to be still by fundamentalist economic creationists.

[Bart]

"McDonald's executives have mastered the art of turning human food into a product to be exchanged for profit"

McDonald's evil runs much deeper than merely running their restaurants as if they were restaurants. In another tweet, they stand accused of not selling real food but a "manufactured commodity". Which leads you to wonder; is real food confined solely to animals you catch yourself and eat raw and unskinned, or does this individual not understand what the phrases they're using actually mean.

Come the revolution, let's hope this comrade isn't appointed as Commissar for the Economy.

"All work and no McDonalds makes someone a dull boy"

I have a sneaking suspicion that Mr/Ms Anti-McDonalds has managed to avoid the "all work" part.

[dicentra]

McDouble is 'cheapest and most nutritious food in human history' (From RS's link)

Leave it to the Freakonomics guys to clear away the smoke. If you're going low-carb, the bacon double cheeseburger is a fantastic deal: the only "harmful" aspect is the bun, which contains all those highly refined carbs.

But it turns out that red meat, cheese, bacon, fatty sauces, tomatoes, lettuce, pickles — those are good for you, because they don't spike your blood insulin levels.

And THAT, me hearties, is what makes you fat. Not the grease in the greaseburger, not the nitrates in the bacon, not the lard in the secret sauce.

[dicentra]

Addendum: Order the burger without the combo, see. It's the sugary soda and the starchy fries what mess you up. But a bacon double-cheeseburger by itself?

Food of the gods.

[dicentra]

It also appears that McDonald's is engaging in psy-ops against Burger King.

Chalk up one more dastardly deed against the Golden Arches!

[Jack DeGaulle Bodger Gillins]

And the Guardian, ever in ketchup mode with the perpetual barmyness of twatter, weighs in with this mighty dollop :

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/shortcuts/2013/aug/28/having-to-pay-tomato-ketchup-racist

[rxc]

This is a really good resource for all sorts of progressive issues. They just change the nouns to demonize the issue they hate. I wonder who is working on this. It seems to me to be a guidebook for waging an activist campaign.

[atempdog]

One would almost think that McDonalds was sending out enforcers to drag people, kicking and screaming, into their restaurant. I wonder if the the hammurderer (http://www.theonion.com/articles/mcdonalds-drops-hammurderer-character-from-adverti,127/?ref=auto ) pursues this tweeter in is his sleep.

WRT making people fat, a cheeseburger or even a Big Mac simply doesn't have a lot of calories in it on it's own. A Big Mac & a diet soda is a decent lunch. http://www.calorieking.com/foods/calories-in-mcdonalds_b-YmlkPTYyNQ.html

[T.K. Tortch]

Seeing how most Leftism is empty sloganeering, Twitter would be the perfect medium for its most elemental expressions. You can only fit so many bumper stickers on your car, if you own such a planet-killing machine, but you can twitter out tiny billboards all day long.

[dicentra]

I, Cheeseburger — a celebration of the improbable

[Tim Newman]

The McDonald's Corporation designs sterile spaces

Which isn't what you want in a kitchen, oh no.

[pst314]

Super Size panzer divisions marching into the Low Countries of my stomach?

[Jacob]

McDonald's executives have mastered the art of turning human food into a product to be exchanged for profit.

I don't think they're familiar with the concept of a restaurant.

[model_1066]

Anti-McDonald's executives have mastered the art of turning feeble whining into a product to be exchanged for attention.

[Bart]

"McDonald's food is frozen food"

Wait, what, they're using freezers now?

Curse you McDonald's, is there no end to your villainy?

[Steve 2]

This is fun.

McDonald's turned cats and dogs against each other.

McDonald's shot J.R., JFK, and The Sheriff.

McDonald's is developing Weapons of Mass Deliciousness.

McDonald's has never apologised for the Cretaceous–Paleogene extinction event.

McDonald's invented wasps.

McDonald's set fire to a tramp and filmed it on its smartphone.

McDonald's forced Hannah Montana to dress like a stripper.

McDonald's food is made from the tears of working class kittens.

McDonald's created Jedward in the same lab it uses to make its secret army of Hitler clones and chicken McNuggets.

[Rob]

The person behind this is 99% certain to be all of the following;

* white
* a student on some sort of pointless humanities degree
* American
* From a wealthy upper middle class family

Probably male

[pst314]

Bob: You left out "a psychopath". ;-)

I wink, but I'm serious: That sort of ideology is the mark of a diseased mind.

[JKB]

It's true. McDonald's is known for taking raw materials that make up human food and transforming it into a product that one Georgetown law professor said "was to tasty, to cheap and to readily available". Others then exchange some of the profits from their work (wages and earnings in excess of the costs of doing their work) for this product.

We often ship the raw materials of human food to those at risk of starvation. We, however, stingily, withhold our expertise in transforming those materials into cheap, tasty, readily-available food leaving them with traditional labor-expensive, often-bland food that is not readily available.

[Severian]

"McDonald's food is full of additives that fatten up citizens and lower the chance of active political rebellion."

Which is why, you'll recall, there was a McDonald's on every street corner of Airstrip One, right next to the posters of Big Brother. And yet I wonder why, say, the North Koreans haven't thought of this wonderful dissent-suppressing tactic.

[Claire]

Everybody pretends that if they weren't eating at McDonalds, they be at home eating a bowl of quinoa and fresh raspberries and lots of leafy kale for lunch every day, which is, of course, bullshit.

[Rob Crawford]

Is bullshit or tastes like bullshit?

Quinoa -- aka "like oatmeal, but with a disturbing, insectile crunch".