This Doesn’t Happen in Waitrose

A man who was caught masturbating in the meat aisle of a Sainsbury’s store has been banned from every supermarket in Britain - unless he is supervised by another adult. Eugenio Freitas, 49, was captured pleasuring himself through his trousers for 10 minutes on CCTV cameras. The married father of four went to the store in Newcastle-under-Lyme, Staffordshire “fully intending” to go shopping, but then became overwhelmed by his “excessive sexual drive,” a court heard.

Via Julia, who seems to have an eye for stories involving irregular arousal. 

Comments

[svh]

Someone was bound to have a Sainsbury's meat isle fetish.

[witwoud]

He should have claimed it was art.

[David]

He should have claimed it was art.

It’s only art if you use a wig. Those are the rules, I believe.

[ACTOldFart]

Amazing. Some twit of a woman pulls wool out of her tootsie and knits with it - she gets an arts grant. Some guy gives a whole, subtle, radical and transgressive new meaning to 'meat aisle', and he gets the boot.

I blame sexism.

[Ed Snack]

I heard that they were going to prosecute, but he got off.

[witwoud]

Sainsbury's encourages its customers to "Try Something New Today," and then gets aggrieved when one of them does. Frankly, it's the company's fault for not being more specific.

[Dave M]

At least he was in the appropriate aisle.

Rebuttals by Martin Bashir

[Mahlerman]

Perhaps it was because he was in the appropriate aisle?

[AC1]

after he was caught, the meat he was holding was pulled off him and he was tossed into the street.

[Dave M]

Sorry to steal your thunder Mahlerman, hate it when that happens to me.

Rebuttals by Martin Bashir

[CMU VET]

You can whip our cream, but you can't beat our meat.