Friday Ephemera
Tidings (7)

This Doesn’t Happen in Waitrose

A man who was caught masturbating in the meat aisle of a Sainsbury’s store has been banned from every supermarket in Britain - unless he is supervised by another adult. Eugenio Freitas, 49, was captured pleasuring himself through his trousers for 10 minutes on CCTV cameras. The married father of four went to the store in Newcastle-under-Lyme, Staffordshire “fully intending” to go shopping, but then became overwhelmed by his “excessive sexual drive,” a court heard.

Via Julia, who seems to have an eye for stories involving irregular arousal