David Thompson
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January 24, 2014

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Hal

. . . the thrilling adventures of Chief O’Brien.

Somebody has to teach you officers the difference between a warp matrix flux capacitor and a self-sealing stem bolt.

Hal

The differing teaching methods of dogs and cats.

This video has been removed by the user.

Hal

Oh. And, what I'm finding intriguing, amusing, or both---and at a risk of triggering another presumed DT effect---is that the dogs and cats teaching clip is actually also still here and here.

David

This video has been removed by the user.

Fixed. And the runaway italics.

svh

the thrilling adventures of Chief O’Brien.

Perfect.

David

Perfect.

As I understand it, the Chief’s job was basically to stand in a room on his own and stare at a wall for eight hours at a time, day after day, for seven bloody years. During that time, none of the busier, more glamorous characters seemed troubled by this. Even the touchy-feely empath didn’t seem worried that poor Miles might eventually snap and go postal. Say, by randomly merging matter streams or beaming more popular crewmembers into the vacuum of space.

Steve

BarBacon must be the most racist place on the planet, the epicentre of evil.

Good job the Muslims don't have a record of bombimg things they don't like.

Sam

As I understand it, the Chief’s job was basically to stand in a room on his own and stare at a wall for eight hours at a time

They didn't even give him a chair.

David

They didn’t even give him a chair.

Or a window. Not even a potted plant. It was only a matter of time before he cracked and killed them all.

sk60

Justin Bieber without and with make-up.

https://twitter.com/OHwinsAgain/status/426610492119871488

Gif!

http://twitpic.com/dt6cqt

Steve 2 - The Stevening

Poor Chief O’Brien.

Stuck in a dead end job, with a made-up rank ("transporter chief" is just Star Trek's equivalent of those stars McDonalds staff wear on their name badges), and married to the 24th century's answer to Yoko Ono, a fun-killing succubus who always looked like she smelled dog poo.

Basically, the Star Trek universe would suck to live in for everybody who isn't a starship captain or an omnipotent being from the Q continuum.

You knock your pan in beaming people on and off the ship, or saying "aye sir, warp factor five" day after endlessly tedious day. Then you go to Ten Forward to drink fake booze that won't get you drunk. You aren't able to save money to do something different in future, since money has been abolished. The holodecks might look fun but I don't think any amount of futuristic air freshener would get rid of the stale smell of other people's sexytimes.

For all the Federation's political correctness they seem to have no concept of health and safety in their spacegoing death traps like the Enterprise, and all the aliens are crude racial stereotypes. The humans are often crude racial stereotypes too, like that planet full of black people, or the time the Oirish were living it up in the Enterprise cargo bay, or that Scottish planet where Dr. Crusher had sex with an alien ghost that used to pleasure her granny.

No TV and no beer make Miles something something...

David

The holodecks might look fun but I don’t think any amount of futuristic air freshener would get rid of the stale smell of other people’s sexytimes.

Free cake for that man.

Hal

Poor Chief O’Brien.. . . .

Quite excellently written that, However. . . . . .

I'm rather thinking that the day to day reality for a "transporter chief" would be rather a combination ultimate maitre d' and taxi driver and ultimate stage manager and while being one that knew exactly what was going on at all times and reacting at just the right moment---therefore, that recliner we never see is tucked neatly behind the camera, where that recliner is standard issue and known of and expected by everyone in the crew, and just not referenced . . .


I'm willing to bet that you've brought one of those famed Starfleet engineers who can turn rocks into replicators.

I keep getting the impression that the poetic license that would keep having to be taken is that translating that sort of reality into a mere TV show would be rather like having to explain the subtleties of Go to a mere, and rabid, and drunk, chess player.

Rafi

Bulletproof cushions optional.

Another one of those "surely he's joking" moments...

Steve

One for the "do as I say" file?

http://cars.aol.co.uk/2014/01/24/former-drink-drive-campaigner-caught-at-nearly-five-times-the-le/?icid=maing-grid7|ukt2|dl4|sec1_lnk2%26pLid%3D238817

Runcie Balspune

There was a running gag about putting in at least one "O'Brien must suffer" episode every series, in both TNG and DS9?

Friday Night Smoke

And locally we have Barr Beacon (Bar Bacon in the local dialect) where the menu is all dogging, or so I hear. http://goo.gl/maps/ptBf5

David

The spam filter is playing up. If anyone has trouble with comments not appearing, email me and I’ll pry them loose.

Matt

As I understand it, the Chief’s job was basically to stand in a room on his own and stare at a wall for eight hours at a time, day after day, for seven bloody years.

Well, to be fair, they DID send him to DS9 after just 3 or 4 years to do more general engineering work, so I'm assuming that he kept his engineering skills in practice while he was on the Enterprise, and Transporter Room duty was just one of his job duties. I still hope they had Tetris or some such available on that transporter room panel, though.

There was a running gag about putting in at least one "O'Brien must suffer" episode every series, in both TNG and DS9?

Each season, at least by DS9.

WTP

As someone who actually worked in the US space program for a short time during the Space Shuttle years, you probably don't want to hear this but you have no idea how close to home the Chief O'Brian saga hits. My life every day for more years than I'd like to admit. I did read a lot in those days, though.

WTP

Oh, and drum pants. As if d-bags on the subway aren't annoying enough. This must be stopped.

carbon based lifeform

The holodecks might look fun but I don’t think any amount of futuristic air freshener would get rid of the stale smell of other people’s sexytimes.

Thanks for that mental image. TNG repeats will never be the same.

Hal

The holodecks might look fun but . . . . . TNG repeats will never be the same.

Ennnhhhh, No.

Very cute phrasing, yes, but, no.

The very immediate thought that came to mind when I read that was . . . um . . . fast bit of Googlemancy . . . Oh, that episode was all the way back in the second season . . . all the rest of the completely standard assorted toys and situations . . . .

[Riker observes Brenna cleaning the floor]

Commander William T. Riker: That isn't necessary. The ship will clean itself.

Brenna Odell: Well - good for the bloody ship.

and

[Odell has complained about "lightning bolts" falling from the ceiling]

Danilo Odell: Yeah, what the hell was that thing?

Lieutenant Worf: Automated fire system. A force field contains the flame until the remaining oxygen has been consumed.

Danilo Odell: Ah, yeah, w-what if I had been under that thing?

Lieutenant Worf: You would have been standing in the fire.

Danilo Odell: Yeah, well, leaving that aside for the moment, I mean, what would have happened to me?

Lieutenant Worf: You would have suffocated and died.

Danilo Odell: Ye-ah, sweet mercy.

Hal

The spam checker demanded that I type yednfd humph to get that one posted.

Humph indeed.

Hal

Oh, and speaking of ephemera . . . .

Sing along Wicker Man sounds like it would be rather a lot of fun!

And

One of David's favorite bits regarding The Greatness Of Our Unquestioned Artistic Enlightened Masters And Mistresses is that table covered in sand and cigarette butts. Clearly they should have been going to Yugoslavia to have a talk with Tito.

Of course the thought does occur that the 1967 Monument to the Revolution of the people of Moslavina has to be one of those instances of additionally inspiring George Lucas for some project of his.

dicentra

Hey, that one where Chief O'Brien was sentenced to all that virtual jail time was pretty good. One of the ones where the Federation questioned its Moral Superiority.

Also, the one where Keiko (glad I'm not the only one who disliked her) noticed that the Chief was drinking coffee in the afternoon, which he never does, so they realized that the vid of him and some redshirts blowing up was a fake. And then when they found him he said he drank coffee in the afternoon all the time.

dicentra

"O'Brien must suffer" episode

"Hell to the Chief," they called it.

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