Coming a matter of days after a German potholer was extricated from a 1 km deep cave, this is surely conclusive proof that Marx was right - if only about the way history repeats itself.
I'm still fascinated with the Giant Stone Vulva, also known as The Vagina Megalith.
Is sexy spelunking a thing?
Is there a giant granite penis, or would that be too #rockculture?
Is this a life sized recreation of Frau Merkel's biber?
But mainly, I wonder what went through the minds of the University of Tubingen staff when they were deciding whether to, um, erect a gargantuan cha-cha.
Was it a choice between that and a compressed pile of garbage?
There was a time when Germany was a serious nation. They used to build things like this:
Now it looks like they're inspired by the Morlocks from "The Time Machine". Or by the primitive fertility symbols of cavemen. At least the cavemen were sincere.
I heard once that the Germans played waltzes on the radio in a desperate attempt to discourage Allied bombers from flattening their cities. As if to say "we are a civilised people, this is our music, would you reduce all this to ash and rubble?".
I'm pretty sure that story isn't true, but it's an intriguing idea. What would modern Germany, or the modern West in general, offer up as a sign of its cultural worth?
Would we beam up pictures of stone lady parts and unmade beds strewn with soiled prophylactics? Would we ask that the Gotterdamerung pass over us because we adorned our lintels with vaginal knitting?
When he realized his predicament, he should have immediately announced that he was a "performance artist," attempting to represent the oppression of modern, socially constructed, gender stereotypes. He probably would've then received accolades in CiF.
There are websites for people who lack access to pudenda to gawp at (or so I am told), without the need to encounter a literally in-your-face one while taking a stroll.
"There was a time when Germany was a serious nation. They used to build things like this:"
The Problem was, though, that they were also a little bit 'Invadey' and got the shit beaten out of them. Now they may not produce much worthwhile art but they don't tend to get their Cities reduced to dust quite so often either.
It's a steep learning curve.
Posted by: Sam | June 23, 2014 at 11:54
Now he knows what it's like being married.
Posted by: Steve 2: Steveageddon | June 23, 2014 at 11:58
Now he knows what it’s like being married.
This is where someone sends a screengrab to your beloved (and presumably long-suffering) wife.
Posted by: David | June 23, 2014 at 12:06
That is almost too funny for words.
Posted by: Mr. Saturn | June 23, 2014 at 12:10
And the headline is totally true.
Posted by: sk60 | June 23, 2014 at 12:19
And the headline is totally true.
Yes, it’s exactly what you’d imagine. Once you imagine that kind of thing.
Posted by: David | June 23, 2014 at 12:21
David -
Long-suffering, you say?
Jane Gerving, from Hatfield, said: "I'll miss living with the funniest man in the universe. He's just so very fucking funny. All the time."
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=1886&print=1
Posted by: Steve 2: Steveageddon | June 23, 2014 at 12:36
"A section of a busy main road in North Yorkshire was blocked for almost six hours on Saturday after a lorry shed its load of instant mashed potato."
Posted by: Anna | June 23, 2014 at 13:03
instant mashed potato
Three words I’d hoped to forget. I’m faintly surprised they still make the stuff.
Posted by: David | June 23, 2014 at 13:10
Coming a matter of days after a German potholer was extricated from a 1 km deep cave, this is surely conclusive proof that Marx was right - if only about the way history repeats itself.
Posted by: Mr Grumpy | June 23, 2014 at 16:28
What a cunt!
Ok, I'm getting my coat.
Posted by: Theophrastus | June 23, 2014 at 16:38
Can't believe they didnt jump on the opportunity to use a 'For mash get (Road) Smash' headline, or similar.
Posted by: present & correct | June 23, 2014 at 16:40
I knew German women are tough but I didn't know they were that big.
Posted by: Gary from Jersey | June 23, 2014 at 16:55
A gallon of KY jelly, stat!
Posted by: Duane Phillips | June 23, 2014 at 17:33
I'm still fascinated with the Giant Stone Vulva, also known as The Vagina Megalith.
Is sexy spelunking a thing?
Is there a giant granite penis, or would that be too #rockculture?
Is this a life sized recreation of Frau Merkel's biber?
But mainly, I wonder what went through the minds of the University of Tubingen staff when they were deciding whether to, um, erect a gargantuan cha-cha.
Was it a choice between that and a compressed pile of garbage?
There was a time when Germany was a serious nation. They used to build things like this:
http://www.atravelbook.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Brandenburg-Gate.jpg
Now it looks like they're inspired by the Morlocks from "The Time Machine". Or by the primitive fertility symbols of cavemen. At least the cavemen were sincere.
I heard once that the Germans played waltzes on the radio in a desperate attempt to discourage Allied bombers from flattening their cities. As if to say "we are a civilised people, this is our music, would you reduce all this to ash and rubble?".
I'm pretty sure that story isn't true, but it's an intriguing idea. What would modern Germany, or the modern West in general, offer up as a sign of its cultural worth?
Would we beam up pictures of stone lady parts and unmade beds strewn with soiled prophylactics? Would we ask that the Gotterdamerung pass over us because we adorned our lintels with vaginal knitting?
Posted by: Steve 2: Steveageddon | June 23, 2014 at 18:29
As if to say “we are a civilised people, this is our music, would you reduce all this to ash and rubble?”
When the mothership looms overhead, we may have to rely on our back catalogue.
Posted by: David | June 23, 2014 at 18:39
David,
Three words I’d hoped to forget. I’m faintly surprised they still make the stuff.
If there's a market, they'll make it. There will always be lazy bastard bachelors.
Posted by: Spiny Norman | June 23, 2014 at 19:44
When he realized his predicament, he should have immediately announced that he was a "performance artist," attempting to represent the oppression of modern, socially constructed, gender stereotypes. He probably would've then received accolades in CiF.
Posted by: R. Sherman | June 23, 2014 at 19:51
Steve,
There was a time when Germany was a serious nation.
I showed the article and photo to my lovely German wife. her response?
"The Swabians are more than a little strange."
Posted by: R. Sherman | June 23, 2014 at 19:57
he should have immediately announced that he was a "performance artist,"
Calling it "Vagina lapidosus"?
Doesn't have the same impact as vagina dentata, but I guess that's the point.
Posted by: dicentra | June 23, 2014 at 20:56
I thought Beaver traps were only in Canada...
Posted by: Mojo | June 24, 2014 at 03:06
That thing is in desperate need of vajazzling.
Posted by: Jeff Guinn | June 24, 2014 at 05:02
If he is a Christian, is he a born-again one?
Posted by: bilbaoboy | June 24, 2014 at 10:01
That's a big pussy that's a big pussy.
Posted by: jones | June 24, 2014 at 12:30
I realise I may be a tad picky about what constitutes 'art', but who would choose to have a giant stone fanny on the sidewalk? And, er, why?
Posted by: splotchy | June 24, 2014 at 13:01
......amd who would have paid for it?
There are websites for people who lack access to pudenda to gawp at (or so I am told), without the need to encounter a literally in-your-face one while taking a stroll.
Posted by: splotchy | June 24, 2014 at 13:10
"who would choose to have a giant stone fanny on the sidewalk?"
Just wait until next year, when, in order to demonstrate their support for gay rights, the Good Burghers purchase a giant sculpture of a man's anus.
Posted by: pst314 | June 24, 2014 at 14:53
Oh, come now--who amongst us didn't get ourselves stuck in a tremendous stone vagina when we were young?
Posted by: Mike James | June 24, 2014 at 22:08
I clicked on the link for the tag "Giant Stone Vaginas", hoping for more exciting stories of a similar genre.
Just the one, so far.
Posted by: John Holland | June 25, 2014 at 01:42
The symbolism of it is rather perfect, isn't it?
Posted by: TimT | June 25, 2014 at 07:41
"There was a time when Germany was a serious nation. They used to build things like this:"
The Problem was, though, that they were also a little bit 'Invadey' and got the shit beaten out of them. Now they may not produce much worthwhile art but they don't tend to get their Cities reduced to dust quite so often either.
Posted by: Jonathan | June 25, 2014 at 10:52
That's the second biggest vagina I have ever seen!
Posted by: Ben | June 28, 2014 at 11:20