A Brave New World of Bionic Lingerie
December 14, 2014
This just in from the University of Wollongong:
A ‘bionic bra’ that automatically tightens in response to breast movement is one step closer to reality with the development of a new prototype... Professor Julie Steele has been investigating the movement of women’s breasts during physical activity for more than 15 years… However, technology is only starting to catch up with the researchers’ imaginations.
Via Ace.
"She has also been investigating the movement of women’s breast during physical activity for more than 15 years."
The dream job of adolescent males of all ages and sexes.
Posted by: Atempdog | December 14, 2014 at 12:24
Sadly for the world’s adolescent boys, it doesn’t yet come with machine gun attachments.
And for the crisis-conscious, there’s also the emergency bra that doubles as a pair of protective face masks.
Posted by: David | December 14, 2014 at 12:26
Test subject #1.
I think we're going to need a bigger beer.
Posted by: R. Sherman | December 14, 2014 at 12:27
I think we’re going to need a bigger beer.
I’m not familiar with the kind of thing I’m seeing.
Posted by: David | December 14, 2014 at 12:30
".. that automatically tightens in response to breast movement .."
Kind of like a personal Boa Constrictor then. What could possibly go wrong?
Posted by: Jonathan | December 14, 2014 at 12:52
What could possibly go wrong?
If science fiction has taught me anything, it’s that the bra will become self-aware and go on an unstoppable rampage. “Crush. Kill. Destroy.”
Posted by: David | December 14, 2014 at 12:58
I wonder if 15 years ago Professor Julie Steele had an experience something like this.
Posted by: Nikw211 | December 14, 2014 at 13:47
Admit it, ladies. You’ve always wanted a bra that in moments of exertion sounds like this.
Posted by: David | December 14, 2014 at 14:02
Admit it, ladies. You’ve always wanted a bra that in moments of exertion sounds like this.
If that's not the makings of a great TV series I don't know what is.
Posted by: Sam | December 14, 2014 at 15:50
For some reason I was reminded of this bra advert from 1998, in which said products are tested in a wind tunnel.
Posted by: David | December 14, 2014 at 16:02
David, I am beginning to think that you might have been weaned a little early...
Posted by: Theophrastus | December 14, 2014 at 18:05
Heh. It’s the only explanation.
Posted by: David | December 14, 2014 at 18:31
“A ‘bionic bra’ that automatically tightens in response to breast movement”
Well, if my trousers can do it...
Posted by: Sam Duncan | December 14, 2014 at 18:59
1998 was a good year for bra adverts.
Posted by: Connor | December 14, 2014 at 20:53
Now all they need are cybernetic panties and things might get weird.
Posted by: Mr. Saturn | December 14, 2014 at 23:37
Damn, they offer grants for that? I've been missing out on major dough, apparently.
Posted by: Mojo | December 15, 2014 at 03:19
"Admit it, ladies. You’ve always wanted a bra that in moments of exertion sounds like this."
I'd settle for one that had catches that didn't bend into uselessness after a month or two...
And I think Sam Duncan won this thread!
Posted by: JuliaM | December 15, 2014 at 07:04
I’d settle for one that had catches that didn’t bend into uselessness after a month or two...
As this is a subject of which I’m terribly ignorant, I’m tempted to ask what it is you’re doing to your poor bras before they bite the dust. Maybe diagrams would help me get a sense of what’s going on in them.
Hello...?
Posted by: David | December 15, 2014 at 07:19
A few years back I was chatting with a friend of mine, where among the items in her background and history was having been born male.
I reported another friend's comment that the all time problem with telling a transsexual from a transvestite is all that bother of remembering which one grows down from the cave ceiling and which grows up from the floor.
The first friend then announced that actually the difference is extremely easy to sort out. At the end of the workday, one runs home to put a bra on, and the other runs home to take one off.
Posted by: Hal | December 15, 2014 at 08:02
"Maybe diagrams would help me get a sense of what’s going on in them."
:D
Posted by: JuliaM | December 15, 2014 at 11:36
this bra advert from 1998, in which said products are tested in a wind tunnel.
The bra testing machine killed me. :-D
Posted by: sk60 | December 15, 2014 at 15:09
The bra testing machine killed me.
As bra adverts go, it’s quite special.
Posted by: David | December 15, 2014 at 15:17
what it is you’re doing to your poor bras before they bite the dust
The metal hooks catch in the holes of washing machines and dryers. Yes, I know there are special bags and containers and holders that are supposed to avoid this fate, but please. That's extra work. I should be lavishly praised for keeping my undies washed.
The hooks also catch onto each other in drawers or catch onto sweaters or anything else that you desperately don't want to be snagged.
Were it not for the terrible effects of gravity or the horrific alternatives (whale-bone corsets), we'd all burn the blasted things forthwith.
Posted by: dicentra | December 15, 2014 at 22:51
Sweet Dicentra, please accept lavish praise for your clean undies.
If anyone (everyone?) would enjoy a very decent fisking of Russell Brand. go here:
http://blog.squandertwo.net/2014/12/an-open-letter-to-russell-brand.html
Posted by: Jeff Wood | December 16, 2014 at 11:03
If anyone (everyone?) would enjoy a very decent fisking of Russell Brand. go here:
I was just about to recommend that little gem.
Note to self: Do not waste time making lunch.
Posted by: David | December 16, 2014 at 13:06