David Thompson
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April 22, 2015

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Min

I think it's just sinking in.

http://www.southwales-eveningpost.co.uk/images/localworld/ugc-images/276352/binaries/WNS_210415_Hoplin_Dad_40_02.JPG

Anon

'So what if he's been married three times before but I know this time it is forever.'

All you need to know, really.

ACTOldFart

And here was I thinking "Idiocracy" was fiction. By the way, if he is/was an alcoholic on 20 a day, how did he get it up so often? (Just asking in a purely hypothetical sort of way, of course)

Dr Cromarty

By the way, if he is/was an alcoholic on 20 a day, how did he get it up so often? (Just asking in a purely hypothetical sort of way, of course)

Almost certainly by using publicly-funded Viagra. Your taxes in action.

Anna

The pair are now inseparable and spend their days watching horror films living a horror film and going for long walks.

R. Sherman

“Fancy a rump?”

Nothing trumps old-school sophistication when it comes to courtship.

David

Those awful, oppressive and much-maligned bourgeois values are looking pretty good right now.

WTP

Yeah, but he was great in those Road Warrior films. You can't take that away from him.

David

It’s all a bit League of Gentlemen.

Lancastrian Oik

Apparently, some of his offspring's birth certificates, in the section marked "father", read: "The bloke off the dodgems".

It’s all a bit "League of Gentlemen".

Before they settled on Hadfield in Derbyshire, they did some location scouting in my home town of Bacup, but decided it was far too weird even by their standards.

Tim Newman

My Dad knows the names of all his kids, he just doesn't appear to know which name is attached to which kid. For years he's addressed us by a list of the siblings' names, presumably so we start paying attention when we hear our own.

Spiny Norman

That's why former boxing champion turned countertop grill pitchman George Foreman named all his sons "George".

BritInMontreal

Wouldn't touch her with a barge pole

Dom

In fairness, the poor guy comes from "Ebbw Vale". I'm surprised he knows the name of his own city.

Dom

Tim Newman: my mother did the same. Each child was called "Dee, Fred, Elke, Dom". The odd thing was, Elke was our dog.

Theophrastus

"Fancy a rump?”

Well, that's a little more than romantic than 'Do you drop 'em?'

mojo

40 brats by 20 different women?

He's not a father, he's a pollinator.

bilbaoboy

Glad I pay my taxes in Spain!

bilbaoboy

Went to the paper for a good look.

I shall send the link to my sons. They need a good rôle model!

Watcher In The Dark

Sorry BritInMontreal, but I wouldn't touch her with YOUR barge pole.

dicentra

Well, he does kinda look like Mel Gibson. But I reckon his charm is more akin to that of Nick Tortelli from Cheers.

Tim Newman

Each child was called "Dee, Fred, Elke, Dom". The odd thing was, Elke was our dog.

I think busy parents see children as having more in common with dogs than adults, and so lump them all together to save time.

David

It’s at times like this I appreciate being an only child.

dicentra

My mother never fails to confuse my name with my youngest sister's (I've got another one closer in age). She always prefixes our names with the first syllable of the other's.

But only when we're within 100 miles of each other. When mom visits me, the prefix drops off.

Jimmy

That photo sent shivers down my spine.

(the bad kind)

Hal

I'm reminded of the opening pages of MASH Mania.

In Maine it's not so much racial as general. The Indians need help, but so do thousands of others. If the blacks are a problem, it's because if you put the thousand of them up against any thousand randomly selected Maine whites, the blacks come out ahead."

---The entire series being quite recommended, btw, and if you toggle David's Amazon link, either US or UK, he gets a cut . . .

Shiggz

I know this is kinda a classless thing to say but hey I'm apparently oppressing the whole world with my white wang so may as well enjoy it.

So just hit your jar for 50GPBTSD (not sure what your money acronym is) but it came out to 77$. Sorry its not more but my monthly patriarchy check doesn't arrive until the first day of the month.

Leaving me naught else to say but to the original point, is there a $ amount whereby if we reached it collectively you would do your hair like a Laurie penny picture of our choice?

David

So just hit your jar

Bless you, sir. May you never be short of deodorant.

is there a $ amount whereby if we reached it collectively you would do your hair like a Laurie Penny picture of our choice?

Heh. I didn’t see that coming. Yes, there probably is, which is a worrying thought, but I’d guess it’s a very large number indeed.

David

Right, I’m out of here. Time to see Age of Ultron.

Dr Cromarty

Well, to his credit he doesn't, unlike the founder of Earth Day, kill and compost his girlfriends:

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/42711922/ns/technology_and_science-science/t/earth-day-co-founder-killed-composted-girlfriend/

JL

When Philadelphia police questioned Einhorn about her mysterious disappearance several weeks later, he claimed that she had gone out to the neighborhood co-op to buy some tofu and sprouts and never returned.

"She went to the co-op to buy tofu and sprouts, man."

Ray

Bean sprouts, surely? Do hippies eat sprouts?

Matt G

"going for long walks."

Considering that Ms Morris is visibly 'big boned' might I suggest longer walks?

ac1

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3051977/Anger-anti-racism-rally-banned-white-people-attending.html

white people and men are banned from 'anti-racism' rally at British university by its own student union DIVERSITY OFFICER

Theophrastus

It's so tiring having to get angry when people criticise obesity:

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/apr/23/jamelia-fat-people-loose-women

Jason

Right, I’m out of here. Time to see Age of Ultron.

No fair! It's not showing here yet ("here" being Texas).

David

No fair! It’s not showing here yet (“here” being Texas).

You may want to temper your expectations a little. It’s not a great film. More a film with lots of great bits.

jones

What are the statistical odds of such a perfect pair-bonding occurring by chance?

Jason

You may want to temper your expectations a little. It’s not a great film. More a film with lots of great bits.

I can live with that. I don't go to superhero flicks for enlightenment or coherence. I go for the explosions and face-smashing:-)

JuliaM

I'm genuinely speechless!

Hal

I'm genuinely speechless!

Well, of course you are---This is a text and visual based interface . . . !

ac1

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CDb9RqbWIAAVKqO.png:large

Shiggz

is there a $ amount whereby if we reached it collectively you would do your hair like a Laurie Penny picture of our choice?

"Heh. I didn’t see that coming. Yes, there probably is, which is a worrying thought, but I’d guess it’s a very large number indeed. "

Ha then let the games begin! I will begin picture hunting :)

DocinPA

Thanks. Thanks a lot. Now I need to go bleach my eyeballs.

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