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We’re the Cleverest of Monkeys

Uterus Rising

The Guardian’s Deborah Orr tells the unenlightened that Hillary Clinton should be elected president of the United States because she has ovaries and fallopian tubes, and that’s what really matters:

She’ll be the first American president who has experienced childbirth, or even admitted to wearing a bra… She’ll be the first president to have prompted the need for an answer to the question: who is that guy then, if he isn’t the first lady?

An opening for a feminist gag is what voting is all about.

I’ve never been a big Hillary fan. I don’t expect her to be the best president ever. In my book, anything more than competence would be a bonus.

Yes, if elected Mrs Clinton may be barely competent, and possibly much worse, but she would nonetheless be,

the perfect US president.

Why? Because Hillary is a she-person:

The symbolic power of her appointment transcends all else. Anyone who doesn’t understand that, in this one respect, Clinton is an absolutely perfect presidential choice, is simply refusing to acknowledge reality.

You heard the lady. We must vote based on a person having the right kind of genitals. It “transcends all else.” Because the “perfect US president” is one whose merits, so defined, are an accident of birth.

Ms Orr’s Olympian logic has astounded us before. As when she insisted, based on nothing, that the entire nation – not just a tiny subset of well-heeled Guardianistas – is raging against the convenience of the local supermarket, where cheap food is plentiful and easy to find. Instead, said she, we’re spending our weekends in joyful protest at the nearest out-of-town farmers’ market, where securing a week’s food shopping is a more ambitious and time-consuming task, and much more expensive. And we’re doing this because – yes, because – “people don’t have as much money to spend.”

Readers may also recall Ms Orr’s grumblings about the fact that women aren’t choosing to appear on comedy panel shows in the numbers she, Ms Orr, would like. Although offering no evidence that women are being discriminated against by producers or audiences – and while inadvertently acknowledging the contrary - she nevertheless insisted that the “gender imbalance” in comedy panel shows is an “injustice,” and so something must be done. According to Ms Orr, female comedians are shy, fragile creatures and must be declining invitations to appear on lucrative, high-profile comedy panel shows because there aren’t enough women on lucrative, high-profile comedy panel shows.

According to the Guardian, “Deborah Orr is one of Britain’s leading social and political commentators.”