Friday Ephemera
February 12, 2016
Two Irishmen and a couch. // As endorsed by Doris Day. // This is one of these. // Tongue caught in a mousetrap. // Multi-tool of note. // Moscow from above. // Whale-shaped shipwreck sculptures of note. // Niche appetite advertised. He wants to be breathless and sweaty. // Chocolate-coated licorice. It’s not for everyone. // Fractal jigsaw puzzle. Endless fun. // Surfing in Tahiti. // Trump Donald. // Cooking with gas at 90 million degrees. // In cinemas again. // It’s all gone a bit Hieronymus Bosch. // Impress your guests with an ice ball cocktail. // He plays with his better than you do. // At last, a zero-gravity pop video. // Accelerated thunderstorm. // River caves, Laos. // Kites. // And finally, educationally, if you’re unfamiliar with the word Vajankle, all is explained here.
Impress your guests with an ice ball cocktail.
Not too fussed about cocktails, but verily yon gentleman offendeth not mine eye.
Posted by: Trevor | February 12, 2016 at 00:35
If we were to rank all the human technological achievements for, oh say, the last 5000 years, where would we place the Vajankle?
Posted by: R. Sherman | February 12, 2016 at 01:35
As endorsed by Doris Day.
. . . . Weeellll . . there was the time I and other associates were having a discussion by mailing list . . . and one afternoon one of us announced to everyone else that if she had to deal with just one more coworker coming up to her with the most surreally idiotic questions, again, she was going to rampage through the office with farming implements.
Always willing to be helpful, I posted recommendations.
. . . after a bit the reply came back that she wasn't entirely certain that the hallways would fit such farming implements . . .
Posted by: Hal | February 12, 2016 at 06:32
if you’re unfamiliar with the word Vajankle, all is explained here.
I don't think "explained" is the right word.
Posted by: sH2 | February 12, 2016 at 06:52
And finally, educationally, if you’re unfamiliar with the word Vajankle, all is explained here.
I'm pressing UNSEE but nothing is happening.
Posted by: Min | February 12, 2016 at 07:30
I don’t think “explained” is the right word.
Hey, I’m bringing you the wonders of the world.
I’m pressing UNSEE but nothing is happening.
Can the Vajarmpit be far behind?
Posted by: David | February 12, 2016 at 07:36
At last, a zero-gravity pop video.
That's actually brilliant.
Posted by: sk60 | February 12, 2016 at 08:41
That’s actually brilliant.
It is rather wonderful. I love the flight attendants.
Posted by: David | February 12, 2016 at 08:47
There’s an official FAQ here.
Posted by: David | February 12, 2016 at 09:08
At last, a zero-gravity pop video.
That's put me in such a good mood. :-)
Posted by: Joan | February 12, 2016 at 10:24
"Tatyana Martynova and Anastasia Burdina, our S7 air hostesses, are trained aerialist acrobats."
*daydreams*
Posted by: Sam | February 12, 2016 at 11:04
*daydreams*
Stop that at once. Don’t make me fetch the hose.
Posted by: David | February 12, 2016 at 11:08
There was a zero-gravity porn movie made a few years ago.
Posted by: Dr. Westerhaus | February 12, 2016 at 13:59
There was a zero-gravity porn movie made a few years ago.
And as I type this someone will be Googling “zero-gravity porn.” God bless the 21st century.
Posted by: David | February 12, 2016 at 14:07
As you can imagine, it was quite an effort to make, as I understand the planes can only manage about 40 seconds dive and then have to level and fly all the way back up again, which takes minutes at least. So the editor will have a damn tricky job pasting that together for continuity, and the performers, presumably, must have sublime levels of self-control...
Posted by: Dr. Westerhaus | February 12, 2016 at 14:12
if you’re unfamiliar with the word Vajankle, all is explained here.
At first I thought they were for amputees. I was very confused.
Posted by: Mags | February 12, 2016 at 14:22
I was very confused.
It’s easily done.
Posted by: David | February 12, 2016 at 14:26
"Two Irishmen and a couch."
Drunken Irishmen? The Federal Bureau of Insensitive Stereotypes and Felonious Triggering will be paying you a visit. :-)
Posted by: pst314 | February 12, 2016 at 15:00
Drunken Irishmen?
As the say in Dublin, "Tuesday."
Posted by: R. Sherman | February 12, 2016 at 15:50
Drunken Irishmen...
Channeling Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men: "Is there any other kind?"
Posted by: Hedgehog | February 12, 2016 at 16:43
And finally, educationally, if you’re unfamiliar with the word Vajankle, all is explained here.
And even more things I didn't even realise existed, nevermind there being a market for it
Behold the Balloon knot...
http://www.sinthetics.biz/collections/shop/products/balloon-knot
Posted by: plus.google.com/100445094085464803133 | February 12, 2016 at 16:46
"Two Irishmen and a couch"
to say nothing of the poteen.
Posted by: mojo | February 12, 2016 at 17:01
Two Irishmen and a couch...
...walked into a bar. And stayed there for a long time.
Posted by: svh | February 12, 2016 at 17:07
I love how the balloon knot is marketed as a 'modesty cover'. It's a bit late for modesty by this stage.
Posted by: Dr. Westerhaus | February 12, 2016 at 18:05
Bye bye Indie.
http://www.samizdata.net/2016/02/the-times-er-independent-it-is-a-changin/
(Scroll down for the Bill Bryson quote too.)
Posted by: Rafi | February 12, 2016 at 18:41
Vajankle.
Thanks.
It can't be mere coincidence that our host's initials are DT.
Posted by: Gregoryno6 | February 12, 2016 at 23:07
Rafi,
From "John Galt" in the comments:
The possibility that a similar fate awaits The Grauniad gives me a schadenboner.
Ha! =^D
Posted by: Spiny Norman | February 13, 2016 at 03:02
Mr Sherman,
"If we were to rank all the human technological achievements for, oh say, the last 5000 years, where would we place the Vajankle?"
Mr Sherman, you fail to understand. All human technological achievements for the last 5000 years was FOR Vajankle.
Posted by: jones | February 13, 2016 at 04:31
For "the" Vajankle.
Would you kindly fix David once you've finished with your Vajankle?
Ta.
Posted by: jones | February 13, 2016 at 04:55
I have no intention of fixing David. He's fine just as he is.
Posted by: dicentra ن | February 13, 2016 at 05:03
Bye bye Indie.
What?
Posted by: David | February 13, 2016 at 08:32
According to the IMF supporting the guardian is just about the per capita income of your average peasant in Malawi (MEAN average).
Shouldn't the Guardian have a campaign to have that money donated there?
Fair trade of course.
http://statisticstimes.com/economy/african-countries-by-gdp-per-capita.php
Alan could just take a wage cut instead mind and sell the piano.
Posted by: jones | February 13, 2016 at 08:54
Alan could just take a wage cut instead mind and sell the piano.
But… but it’s Alan’s only extravagance.
Posted by: David | February 13, 2016 at 09:16
It turns out that the Guardian’s Nell Frizzell is still terribly unhappy about Top Gear.
Posted by: David | February 13, 2016 at 09:48
All human technological achievements for the last 5000 years was FOR Vajankle.
The frightening thought is that you may be right.
Posted by: R. Sherman | February 13, 2016 at 13:11
Oh my. This is SURE to end well. Oh yes.
Barry simply has no clue.
Posted by: mojo | February 13, 2016 at 16:17
What?
Epistolary narcissism, that's what!
Posted by: Theophrastus | February 13, 2016 at 20:12
"Must be removed before doll penetration"
Or does it? ;)
"Must be at least 18 and have lost your humanity to enter"
Posted by: Shiggz | February 15, 2016 at 17:41
Well, "Vajankle" has ruined this song for me forever:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMcfUjIguSs
I hope you're proud, David, I hope you're proud.
Posted by: Ray de Caracas del Norte | February 17, 2016 at 05:48