Friday Ephemera
Elsewhere (189)

The Egalitarian Retail Experience

In the land of happy-clappy twenty-first century socialism

Venezuela’s opposition legislature has declared a “nutritional emergency,” proclaiming that the country simply does not have enough food to feed its population. The move comes after years of socialist rationing and shortages that forced millions to wait on lines lasting as long as six hours for a pint of milk, a bag of flour, or carton of cooking oil.

However, a plan has been devised by the nation’s intellectuals:

Last month, President Maduro insisted that those struggling to find basic foods should develop urban farming skills, claiming that all the eggs eaten in his household come from chickens he and First Lady Cilia Flores own.

Citizens living in urban apartment buildings are reminded that

Anyone can have their productive orchard and you can produce lemon, tomato, pepper, have your egg-laying hens.

So everything’s fine, basically. Just as it was in Moscow, circa 1990, where proletarian laughter echoed down the aisles of every supermarket