David Thompson
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September 30, 2016

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Hal

They strike when you’re asleep.

And then there are the varieties one finds on the back roads of Australia . . .

Fred the Fourth

"What is the purpose of a propeller?"
"to keep the pilot cool."
"eh?"
"Yes. Watch him sweat when it stops moving."

Hal

Size comparisons.

Size comparisons.

Hal

Four strings.

Coke bottle.

Hal

“An Australian tradesman has been bitten by a venomous spider on the penis for a second time.”

. . . . . . . I really recommend getting a different hobby.

Or.

One day a hunter took his trusty Winchester to the mountains to hunt for a spider. He hid behind a rock that overlooked a beautiful valley and waited.

Soon a spider appeared by the stream which ran through the valley. The hunter aimed and fired. When the smoke cleared he couldn't see the spider.

Then there was a tap, tap, tap on his shoulder.

The man turned around and there was the spider, standing 7 feet high, towering over him. The spider said, "you tried to shoot me didn't you?" To which the Hunter replied, "Yes, I'm afraid I did." "Well," said the spider, "in that case you will have to give me a blow job.

Having no choice in the matter, the Hunter did as he was told.

That night the Hunter was really angry and vowed to get revenge. So the next day he went to the same spot, only this time he brought a huge elephant gun. Once again the spider appeared and the hunter fired. After the smoke cleared the hunter couldn't see no carcass.

Tap, tap, tap. "You tried to shoot me didn't you?"

"Why, yes, I'm afraid I did."

"Well take your pants down and bend over. I'm going to have to screw you up the ass. Having no choice the Hunter did what he was told.

That night the Hunter was really, really angry and resolved that he would get the spider no matter what.

This time he brought an M60. He went to the same spot and waited until the spider appeared by the stream. He fired off fifty rounds. When the smoke cleared, he couldn't see the spider.

Tap, tap, tap. "You tried to shoot me didn't you?"

The Hunter Gulped. "Yes, I'm afraid I did."

The spider thought for a moment then said, "You don't come here for the hunting, do you?"

Hal

And then, mid-air, his propeller fell off.

P: Whining sound heard on #2 engine shutdown.
S: Pilot removed from aircraft.

Hal

. . . . . . . I really recommend getting a different hobby.

Singapore jails Amos Yee for religious 'insult'

. . . 'k, so equal opportunity application is very nice, but, ah, no, that's not the sort of hobby _I_ would recommend . . .

R. Sherman

And then, mid-air, his propeller fell off.

Back in the day, private pilot flight instructors would switch off an engine without notice periodically to see if the student could do an emergency restart. Alternatively, they would inform the student that the engine was toast and instruct the student to find a suitable place to land and then bring the aircraft down on approach to 5000 feet or so before restarting the engine. Even when the student knows the instructor will restart the engine, it's still a nerve-wracking experience.

Hal

A pork bun is very nice, but the weather could have been better.

R. Sherman

@Hal,

The pork bun in quo was purchased here. Evidently it's right behind 7-Eleven in popularity among the Taiwanese.

Hal

. . . . the weather could have been better.

And does bring back memories . . . . _If_ I have the references correct, I met Elsie and then Nadine when I was living in Taichung . . . .

Darleen

Four strings?

32 fingers ...

Fred the Fourth

R.Sherman: I would have been royally pissed off if my CFI had actually shut down the engine, instead of going to idle & feather. Did yours really kill the engine in flight?

Theophrastus

Bitten twice on the penis by a Red spider? It could be worse:
http://buzzkenya.com/sorence-owiti-opiyo-kisumu-manhood-size/

Joan

Someone else having a bad day...

https://twitter.com/peachesanscream/status/781782107500740608

R. Sherman

@Fred4

Yep. We were at 8k AGL. He was old school. Sixty-five knots at 5500 AGL gave you about 10 minutes and 12 miles +/- to find a place to put it down. Funny what we remember after 30+ years.

Hedgehog

A brief history of curry.

That's a cultural appropriation smorgasbord.

Bigland

As someone whose hair has accelerated its escape plan in recent months, I hoped the baldness video would be as comforting as the article the other week about dying.

Alas I'm now looking forward to dying more than going bald.

David

I hoped the baldness video would be as comforting as the article the other week about dying.

No refunds, credit note only.

[ Runs fingers through hair. ]

jabrwok

four strings

Two Glocks

Hal

Two Glocks

The bit of reloading during Old MacDonald Had A Gun is a very nice touch.

W Krebs

In case you missed it, one more Friday Link: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/business/wp/2016/09/29/is-your-dogs-halloween-costume-sexist/

Jonathan

Could come in handy in heavy traffic

Darleen

Drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, especially when you add in raccoons

A man who needed to blow into a Breathalyzer to start his car was too drunk to do so, according to a report. What he did next is almost unbelievable. According to what appeared to be a police report posted on Imgur, this guy somehow found a raccoon going through the garbage, captured it and then used the raccoon to blow into the Breathalyzer.

According to the report that was shared on Imgur, the raccoon became unconscious so the man left the raccoon in the car and drove off. A short time after, the raccoon woke up and started to attack the driver.

Jeff Wood

I came over here for light relief after reading at Vox Day's place about how the collapse of Western Civilisation seems to involve bites from a rabid, syphilitic mongoose. (No, Hillary wasn't mentioned.)

I drop in, and find entire taxonomic groups in a state of disorder which would horrify downtown Detroit (at first, I typed "Detriot").

It's all too much. I am away to my bed, after very carefully checking underneath.

jabrwok

I wanted to post this here before I forgot where I found it. Seems ephemerish to me.

Toto's "Africa" in gaelic.

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