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November 25, 2016

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TimT

'Fondoodler' sounds like what you get when you add fondling to - well, you know.

TimT

Guy recreates famous movie scenes with his cat.

PiperPaul


Kids today with their fancy cheese product caulking gun tools. Why, in my day, we had to squeeze our cheese the old-fashioned, manly way!

PiperPaul

[ While searching for the above image I came across this, which is, well...

maybe something for David's "art" archives. ]

Spiny Norman

Lemme guess: Japan?

Spiny Norman

Click and listen.

Okay, that's it. I'm gonna start using proxies. {O.O}

PiperPaul

At least that chicken thing is not as bad as this horror!

OK, I'll stop now.

Hal

At least that chicken thing is not as bad as this horror!

Weeelllll . . . albeit I remember that being a relatively old one . . . .

And, of the same sort . . .

jones

"What fungus does in the dark"

Wow, I didn't realise my cruris did THAT?!

I've always thought it was the chosen lady-friend for the evening being frisky.

Lab Rat

And finally, “Cherry pits and one hazelnut were visible with the naked eye.”

Somehow, I knew where that was going, and yet...I still clicked the link...

David

Game on.

David

Self-styed expert on capitalism is defeated by sofa purchase. Presumably, in her anti-capitalist world, sofas would just be there, for free, along with everything else she might need, wherever she chooses to nest. This empowered, omnicompetent 30-year-old woman has “never bought furniture before” and doesn’t have any idea where you might go to do it. You see, she’s been “busy writing books and living precariously.”

Anna

Self-styed expert on capitalism is defeated by sofa purchase.

Wants riots and communist revolution. Can't cope with DFS.

David

Wants riots and communist revolution. Can’t cope with DFS.

Heh. Well, quite. And it occurs to me that if you’re in your 30s and still sleeping on friends’ sofas, you may want to rethink your life choices.

#AnInspirationToUsAll

Rafi

"Ugh, capitalism" should be "ugh, I'm an idiot".

Hal

Self-styed expert on capitalism is defeated by sofa purchase.

Hmmm.

Lesseee . . . .

David

“Ugh, capitalism” should be “ugh, I’m an idiot”.

Well, the occasional “Ugh, I chose poorly” might be a step in the right direction. But whatever the problem of the day is, Laurie assigns blame by default to “capitalism” or “neoliberalism” or whatever, which invariably oppresses her, regardless of the role played by her own choices. She seems to imagine that she ought to be paid well for doing whatever she wants, regardless of its worth to others, and that, being so radical and important, she ought to be able to live wherever she wants, including in one of the more expensive cities on Earth.

It doesn’t seem to occur to her that her own choices - doing a worthless degree, embracing communism, moving to London, then writing bollocks about things she evidently doesn’t understand - may not be entirely practical. At least, not if you want a nice home with furnishings you’ve chosen yourself.

David

“Ugh, capitalism” should be “ugh, I’m an idiot”.

For Laurie, the disarray and instability of her living arrangements – the precarity, as she puts it – is never, ever anything to do with the choices she’s made, repeatedly, or the vanities that inform them. When I think of my relatives of Laurie’s age, living in various cities, doing various jobs, and with backgrounds more humble than hers, they don’t seem to have anything like the same trouble coping with life, and they certainly don’t spend their days whining to passing strangers about how incredibly oppressed they think they are.

Sam

Presumably, in her anti-capitalist world, sofas would just be there, for free, along with everything else she might need

"I have to pay for things I want. Ugh, capitalism"

David

Or, “I have to act like an adult occasionally. Ugh, capitalism.”

Ray

So, basically, she's the kind of girl that needs a man to look after her and buy her sofas?

David

“I have to act like an adult occasionally. Ugh, capitalism.”

Somewhat relevant:

It’s as if they don’t hear themselves.

Jonathan

What did you do in the Great Emu War Daddy?

Liz

But I also need a cost [?] + inexpensive sofa. Ugh, capitalism.

I have to to pay for my own groceries. Ugh, capitalism.

Tim Newman

This empowered, omnicompetent 30-year-old woman has “never bought furniture before” and doesn’t have any idea where you might go to do it.

Jesus wept. How is it possibly to go through a British university after the late '90s without knowing about Ikea?

Tim Newman

I'm secretly hoping the reason she needs a new sofa is because she was staying at somebody else's place last weekend while her bed-hopping polyamorous partner stayed at her primary residence with his own piece and totally wrecked it.

David

How is it possible to go through a British university after the late ‘90s without knowing about Ikea?

I can recommend their chili pans. But not their hot dogs, which are vile.

Franklin

Wait, is Laurie still here in Boston? Because if she is, she's looking for furniture in a city full of stores that do nothing but sell affordable furniture to college students who have never bought it before.

David

Wait, is Laurie still here in Boston?

Fear not, there’s an ocean between you.

For now.

wtp

"Presumably, in her anti-capitalist world, sofas would just be there, for free, along with everything else she might need, wherever she chooses to nest."

I'm certainly not the first to say it, but this needs to become a meme. Socialism is a cargo cult.

Professor Tugging

Oh shit, she's really let herself go

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/nov/24/standing-rock-thanksgiving-jane-fonda-dakota-access-pipeline?CMP=fb_us

David

“I have to pay for things I want. Ugh, capitalism”

Incidentally, it’s worth noting that while Laurie’s “precarious” lifestyle is largely the result of her own choices, she still regards it as the stuff of social signalling – in effect, a kind of boast wrapped in an appeal for sympathy. As if ostentatious borderline squalor – announced on a weekly basis - made her more edgy and credible. It’s also worth noting that this “precarious” lifestyle nonetheless encompasses a media career and extensive, seemingly endless global travel, including “occupations” of other people’s stuff, speaking engagements, TV appearances, and an invite to spend a year at Harvard, free of charge.

Just like every put-upon working girl.

David

Ah, Laurie Penny & Owen Jones - the Kevin and Perry of the radical left.

Lisboeta

Fondoodler

"Craft has finally met cheese." They missed an opportunity there! (Kraft has finally met cheese would probably be an improvement for Kraft?)

David

the Kevin and Perry of the radical left.

Or “Owen-goal Jones,” as some wag dubbed him.

Can’t imagine why.

Lab Rat

May I ask what DFS is?

I tried Google, but I'm guessing given the subject matter, y'all are not talking about Distributed File Systems...

David

DFS.

PiperPaul



WTP, do you want it to say something different or should we have a contest?

Professor Tugging

1. Lol, "move to cuba then you insufferable cunt" might be the best response to Laurie Penny ever.

2. Why did she ask her twitter followers instead of just googling "furniture [location]"? Must she have an audience for absolutely everything she does?

"Brb y'all I'm going for a shit and a sudoku. Gosh, why is capitalism so lame?"

3. IKEA hot dogs are the best. They're super-cheap, and they're hot dogs. What's not to love?

Laurie Penny toilet tweets

I don't know what's harder, the struggle against patriarchy or the struggle to blast out yesterday's cheese pizza

David

IKEA hot dogs are the best. They’re super-cheap, and they’re hot dogs. What’s not to love?

“You can taste the savings.”

Professor Tugging

Ooh, heark at David with his artisinal organic boerwurst in a fresh-baked sourdough bun

David Curtis

I found this:

http://www.sondrakistan.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/progs-cargocult.jpg

Lionel Ebb

That.

Non-conventional sex acts AND hot dogs! http://bit.ly/2gu7xox Filth, every word...

David

Ooh, heark at David

Heh. Peasants.

No, I’m happy to endorse IKEA’s pots and pans, crockery, cutlery, blinds, etc. – all very affordable and all of which I’ve bought at some time or another. But IKEA hot dogs are an affront to all decency.

Professor Tugging

When I was a lad we ate fried wood shavings and considered ourselves lucky

Spiny Norman

Jonathan,

What did you do in the Great Emu War Daddy?

[ snort ]

(Update: someone on reddit linked me this photo of the actual vehicle that the emus ran off the road.)

Wait... WHAT??? You mean it's REAL? ...not a Far Side gag, or something like the Monty Python "Flying Sheep" skit?

Spiny Norman

Professor,

If you try to tell the yooung people of today that, they won't believe you.

Spiny Norman

Speaking of Ikea. Well not really, just news from Sweden: It's back!

For now, at any rate.

Geezer

Hot Dogs

ftumch

"When I was a lad we ate fried wood shavings and considered ourselves lucky"

Luxury!

...

Not for the faint-hearted (h/t Obo the Clown):

https://twitter.com/TheScaryNature/status/801962444453097472

Fred the Fourth

Wait. Isn't Bernie a Socialist? "Share and Share Alike"?https://twistedsifter.files.wordpress.com/2016/11/thankshirking-1.gif

Fred the Fourth

Credit that Bernie link to TwostedSifter.

jones

When ah were a lad I used to get a good beating for supper.

Tim Newman

SJW Insult Generator

FlynPigRanch

Cats with hats #4. I didn't know The Donald had a cat!

champ

"doing a worthless degree, embracing communism, moving to London, then writing bollocks about things she evidently doesn’t understand"

you left out "picking her nose whilst on television.."

james

"move to cuba then you insufferable cunt" might be the best response to Laurie Penny ever

Can't argue with that.

Farnsworth M. Muldoon

Valaida croons, gets groovy.

No, just no, you don't add lyrics to a jazz number after the fact, and I don't care if Johnny Mercer is doing it as in "Satin Doll", or whomever wrote the crap they tacked onto "C Jam Blues".

Listen to this and clear your ears.

Hal

A very lost explorer finally runs across a local village where everything is fine, they're perfectly happy to see him, and he's quite happy to have found something other than being utterly lost. After he gets settled in he realizes that off in the distance can be heard a steady Boom, buhBoom, Boom, Boom . . . after a bit he asks the villagers and they nod and announce Yes, the drums, those are the drums.

What of the drums? They are the drums, yes, the drums.

He's puzzled, but whatever . . . and several days later, there has been no stop, and he's still hearing from somewhere off thataway the still steady Boom, buhBoom, Boom, Boom . . . he points out that the sound has never stopped, as far and he can tell, and the villagers respond with They are the drums, yes, the drums . . .

About four weeks later he wakes up one morning, and something seems odd, and he gets up and wanders on into the village, and then finally realizes that all he can hear is the standard sounds of the village and the immediate area. With that realization, he then asks the villagers about it it, and they reply stating that Yes. the drums have stopped, yes.

So???! What happens now?!?!?!?

Now, the guitar solo.

Spiny Norman

Farnsworth,

I see what you mean (or hear what you mean), but musical compositions get reworked all time, and have for centuries - Mozart reworked Bach, Beethoven reworked Mozart, Brahms reworked Beethoven.

For what it's worth, the Buckingham-Nicks Fleetwood Mac reworked a Peter Green's Fleetwood Mac blues number ("The World Keeps on Turning" became "World Turning"). I guess purists would consider me a heretic because I like them both.

David

No, just no, you don’t add lyrics to a jazz number after the fact,

An appeal to purity doesn’t sit terribly well with how music-making works, or with what music is. And it seems to me there’s a certain irony in being uptight about jazz.

Spiny Norman

Oh, by the way, Generalisimo Fidel Castro has kicked the bucket.

Professor Tugging

Oh, by the way, Generalisimo Fidel Castro has kicked the bucket.

50 years too late, sadly.

The Huffington Post had a different take:

"...the controversial revolutionary leader and former head of state of Cuba..."

That's one way to put it.

In other news:

- Adolf Hitler, the controversial political figure and former head of state of Germany, has committed suicide in Berlin
- Lee Harvey Oswald, the controversial sharpshooter and former Book Depository employee, was shot today in Dallas
- John Lennon, the controversial Liverpudlian and member of the Plastic Ono Band, was shot outside his hotel in New York
- Mark David Chapman, the controversial music critic and J.D. Salinger enthusiast...

Hal

Oh, by the way, Generalisimo Fidel Castro has kicked the bucket.

Ayup. Hit the news about three hours ago, and then the world scale headline have been going boing Boing Boing!!!

On an other hand, he handed off to Raul relative ages ago, so I'm just not seeing 'im getting noted as much of anything more than a rather longer lived edition of Islam Karimov . . .

Farnsworth M Muldoon

I see what you mean (or hear what you mean), but musical compositions get reworked all time...

True, Oscar Peterson's version of "C Jam Blues" resembles the original Ellington version only in that both are in C major, and Peterson eventually works the two note head in. However...

An appeal to purity doesn’t sit terribly well with how music-making works...

It is not a question of purity as much as an appeal to stop turning everything into pop music.

I will grant that Snow doesn't quite get there in the version linked, but putting lyrics to this, which again hardly resembles the original big band Ellington version, turns it into another Las Vegas floor show tune. "...Speaks Latin, my satin doll..."; right. Mercer or not, that is a bit of reach, and the rest of the lyrics are equally forced.

Finally, I leave you with the whitest white man in the history of whiteness popifying a dogs breakfast out of this.

David

It is not a question of purity as much as an appeal to stop turning everything into pop music.

Heh. It still sounds awfully close to snobbery and preciousness. Ellington reworked the tune repeatedly, for decades, with various collaborators - at times to wildly different effect, more so than adding a vocal. I don’t find the kind of musical propriety you imply very interesting. What matters, surely, is whether the end result is any good, yes? I mean, if you were hearing the tune for first time, as sung by Ms Snow, in a club or whatever, the vocal wouldn’t sound forced or incongruous – quite the opposite. It works very well, in her ‘39 version at least. (Less so, I think, in her later, blander version of it, or the version by Ella Fitzgerald, which sounds mannered and contrived. Or – I’ve just discovered – the one by, er, Johnny Mathis.)

[ Edited. ]

Geezer

... whomever wrote ...

Muldoon will please report to the remedial grammar booth.

Geezer

the whitest white man in the history of whiteness

There were Little Richard, Elvis, and Pat Boone versions of other songs, as well. (E.g., "Rip It Up" and "Long Tall Sally" as well as "Tutti Frutti.") I enjoyed them all.

Jonathan

It seems as though Science! proves that being a feminist woman is a passion killer for men.

... it seems that ‘impotence’ is a common reaction to stroppy feminists and sexually active women.

To rub it in even more, this was my reaction:

Hal

. . . the whitest white man in the history of whiteness . . .

At least there's Stairway To Heaven . . .

Hal

Ladies and gentlemen and the rest of you, I think we have the summary---and it doesn't involve a four to six hour speech.

David

At least there’s Stairway To Heaven . . .

I’m not familiar with the kind of thing I’m seeing. But it looks like a work of diabolical genius.

Jonathan

Oh, by the way, Generalisimo Fidel Castro has kicked the bucket.

Is there anything Trump can't do?

Farnsworth M Muldoon

It still sounds awfully close to snobbery and preciousness...I don’t find the kind of musical propriety you imply very interesting.

Of course there are, speaking just of "Caravan", the Brian Setzer rockabilly version, the decidedly Latin Arturo Sandoval version (without lyrics in Spanish), and The Ventures surf music version all of which are perfectly cromulent, so I am not sure how you get to either point after I point out two Ellington versions, Peterson's and Pass', that are nowhere near the original Ellington charts of the respective tunes.

Yeah, you can slap lyrics onto any tune, and you can mix Laphroaig with grape Nehi, that doesn't mean you should do either.

At least there's Stairway To Heaven . . .

I'll see your Pat Boone, and raise you Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds, and Mr. Tambourine Man.

Geezer

Yeah, you can slap lyrics onto any tune, and you can mix Laphroaig with grape Nehi, that doesn't mean you should do either.

De gustibus non est disputandum.

David

De gustibus non est disputandum.

Agreed. And happily, all recorded versions of the thing can still be enjoyed.

So, what else can we bicker about?

Spiny Norman

So, what else can we bicker about?

Whether the US economic embargo against Cuba is responsible for it being an economic basketcase and an island prison, not Castro's repressive dictatorship?

The Socialist Troof Brigade is out in force on the interwebs today, as one might expect.

David

[ Retreats to drink wine and watch old episodes of Elementary. ]

Spiny Norman

Heh.

Hal

Whether the US economic embargo against Cuba is responsible for it being an economic basketcase and an island prison, not Castro's repressive dictatorship?

Hmmmm. Throwing out occurrences for comparison and review, and I've also scrambled the order that I typed 'em in, the point is to look at the entire package . . .

Marshall plan---The US will provide masses of support to other countries.

Truman Doctrine---the US will oppose communism.

. . . Some president's doctrine, forget whom---The US will call the shots in the Americas, north and south as opposed to anyone outside of the area.

Q Clearance, Robert Benchley, particularly the final speech---Dear middle or south American country that has just effectively gone communist. We of the US are utterly delighted to see the actual citizens of a country do an actual selection of their own government, because that's how we in the US do it. Therfore, following your recent election, we in the US are going to be your best friends and are quite happy to hand off All the support that you may need . . . .

Vietnam, A Television History---and rather prolly other sources---The South Vietnamese have an election, the election will prolly go communist, and the US panics, proclaiming; OMG!!! the election isn't going the way we wanted!!!!!!! . . . Oh, Yeah, where've I been hearing that one recently?

Lend lease---The US will provide masses of support to other countries, including the USSR.

---and for the outlining of parameters, as an example of totally screwing up an what not to do on a national level, a newly arrived Iranian government invades the US embassy and assorted other crap and pisses off yea many.

Hal

The Socialist Troof Brigade is out in force on the interwebs today, as one might expect.

Two squirrels, one doughnut.

champ

"Some president's doctrine, forget whom"

That would be the Monroe Doctrine.

Ted S., Catskill Mtns., NY, USA

At least there's Stairway To Heaven . . .

Where's David Niven?

Ted S., Catskill Mtns., NY, USA

#Trudeaueulogies

dicentra

Speaking of jazz, can someone help me understand why Oscar Peterson and Keith Jarrett, on their live albums, vocalize along with their playing?

No, they're not scatting or singing, they're making a decidedly non-melodic "uuuuu-uuu-uuuu" noise, and it totally ruins my listening experience.

Unless, of course, I'm just not hip enough for the recording.

dicentra

On Twitter I was informed that Castro was not a dictator because we (the U.S.) arm dictators and we (the CIA) tried to assassinate Castro.

By an interlocutor who did not know why Cubans are not allowed to leave Cuba.

I've had Telemundo on for a few hours: they're in Miami where's there's dancing in the streets and zero praise or even equivocation about who Castro was. Even the anchors and reporters identified him as tirano, opresor, dictador.

And I second #TrudeaEulogies. It's wonderful.

ac1

Oikophobia

http://a.disquscdn.com/get?url=https%3A%2F%2Fgabfiles.blob.core.windows.net%2Fimage%2F583a6d922812d.jpeg&key=mHTPAf7prD7Zqpu4wC0jcg&w=600&h=654

David

Oikophobia

Another preening moral degenerate.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

Another preening moral degenerate.

Indeed, he seems to have missed the fact that having Syrian males in Syria hasn't exactly worked out too well.

PiperPaul

For Justin, shouldn't it, like, be called #TrudeauEugooglies or something, eh?

Hal

Oikophobia

Hmmm. Pre comb over haircut to prepare for when the hair on the top of the head falls out, bathub ring on chin as a variety of comb under, careful display of irrelevant cup.

Definitely successfully signalling irrelevancy there, all that's missing is the glasses . . . .

David

Oikophobia

More from the same chap.

First this.

Followed immediately by this.

Oh, and this too:

I truly believe that in order for hate to stop flourishing, the white man must be bred out of existence.

Is it a parody account, or is it actually someone who lives with screeching mental feedback inside his head?

jabrwok

A commentary on Modern Art.

Preview: the speaker is not a fan.

Hal

Is it a parody account, or is it actually someone who lives with screeching mental feedback inside his head?

Mebbe neither a parody account nor someone with cognitive dissonance, but rather an account created to do very particular signaling?

The "reasoning" would be that as long as the idealized signaling is being displayed, then any actual meaning in what is stated is irrelevant.---Hence also the picture with the pre comb over, the bathtub ring, and the careful corporate identity display.

Trevor

Is it a parody account, or is it actually someone who lives with screeching mental feedback inside his head?

A USAnian Godfrey Elfwick wannabe, surely? The alternative is almost too much to bear.

ac1

http://everydayfeminism.com/2016/08/reasons-to-beware-feminist-men/

I'm betting she got dumped

ac1

well it amused me

ac1

https://twitter.com/Crazyinnasia/status/802861196764442624/photo/1

Japanese xmas tree

David

Gojira! Aaiiii!

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