Friday Ephemera
January 20, 2017
Beef roses, $35. Say it with beef. // At last, vaginal energy eggs. Put some magic crystal detox in your downstairs lady wallet. // A shared moment. (h/t, Obo) // Unicycle polo. // Unloved YouTube videos. // This had not occurred to me. (h/t, dicentra) // Obviously, I denounce the cultural appropriation. // Slow-mo see-through combustion engine. // Celebrity deaths, calculated. // Ancient trees. // Good deed. // Shade. // Starlings and snow. // Batman TAS writer’s style guide. // Drone’s-eye view of the Elbphilharmonie concert hall in Hamburg. (h/t, Nate) // A history of recorded sound. // 125,000 rpm string and paper centrifuge. (h/t, Malcolm) // Get lost in a light maze. // EquiTable, an app. // And finally, fashionably, the discreet and wearable breast pump you’ve all been waiting for.
Is it polite to ask how you stumbled upon the hoo-ha power egg?
Posted by: R. Sherman | January 20, 2017 at 00:53
Do these eggs quiver with cosmic energy when connected to the internet?
Posted by: Hopp Singg | January 20, 2017 at 01:00
I doubt he found it while exploring where one usually finds human eggs.
Posted by: PiperPaul | January 20, 2017 at 01:13
Isn't there a legend that he who retrieves the magic hoo-ha power egg from its lair becomes king of England?
Posted by: R. Sherman | January 20, 2017 at 02:36
Beef roses
That sounds suspiciously like a euphem...
vaginal energy eggs
Never mind.
And ah, our old friend the Batman TAS writer's bible. The DCAU really went downhill when Bruce Timm and Paul Dini got kicked upstairs.
Posted by: Daniel Ream | January 20, 2017 at 02:43
Disgruntled
Back in the dawn of time when the Earth was young, a school friend made a similar observation about 'gormless'. What is gorm? Is it singular or plural? How many gorms should a normal person have?
Posted by: Ray | January 20, 2017 at 03:26
Gwyneth Paltrow or a similar ditz has been promoting the jade eggs as a follow-up to vaginal steaming and other nonsense.
I recently read a post by a gynocologist who said those things are:
(a) totes unnecessary, because you do nothing but clench, which affects how all your other muscle groups get used while walking
(b) potentially toxic, given that jade is porous, providing a nifty way to germinate new diseases
(c) just plain gross
Posted by: dicentra | January 20, 2017 at 04:00
At last, vaginal energy eggs. Put some magic crystal detox in your downstairs lady wallet.
Our host comes up with such delightful turns of phrase - I busted out laughing.
Although I have to say I liked magic hoo-ha power egg too. I am very glad there was no one around when I read that - would have been difficult to explain to most people why I was cracking up in front of my laptop.
Posted by: Lab Rat | January 20, 2017 at 04:31
I didn't have the stomach to get past the abstracts of these two papers:
Glaciers, gender, and science
A feminist glaciology framework for global environmental change research
"Merging feminist postcolonial science studies and feminist political ecology, the feminist glaciology framework generates robust analysis of gender, power, and epistemologies in dynamic social-ecological systems, thereby leading to more just and equitable science and human-ice interactions."
http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0309132515623368
The Pilates Pelvis: Racial Implications of the Immobile Hips
"By examining the intersections between dance and Pilates history, this article reveals the ways embodied discourses in Pilates are “white” in nature, and situates Pilates as a product of historically constructed social behaviors of dominant Anglo-European culture."
https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/dance-research-journal/article/the-pilates-pelvis-racial-implications-of-the-immobile-hips/2CDDDB16BFD648003DCAB3DD0634FF81
Perhaps those with a stronger constitution can manage it.
Posted by: Bloke in North Dorset | January 20, 2017 at 06:10
A shared moment.
⊙_ʘ
Posted by: Jen | January 20, 2017 at 06:34
⊙_ʘ
It’s hard to imagine a context that would make it less… how it is.
Posted by: David | January 20, 2017 at 07:14
Very disappointed that the Fraugarteneier are sold out. I wanted to ask the wife to incubate one.
Incidentally (and at the risk of proving deaf to our host's irony) it seems to me that, um, "Krystle" has missed the "humorous" indicator on the definition of "gruntled" that she found. That, or she's never seen Sports Night.
Posted by: Novus | January 20, 2017 at 07:34
Feminist fashion. Not a parody.
http://joannathangiah.storenvy.com/
Posted by: Joan | January 20, 2017 at 08:01
"I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled." - Plum got there 79 years ago.
Posted by: TomJ | January 20, 2017 at 08:47
On 'angry white men'. http://takimag.com/article/i_guess_im_an_angry_white_man_joe_bob_briggs/print#axzz4WI59GyNw
Posted by: sH2 | January 20, 2017 at 09:06
Very disappointed that the Fraugarteneier are sold out. I wanted to ask the wife to incubate one.
Get her a tamagotchi.
Posted by: Ted S., Catskill Mtns., NY, USA | January 20, 2017 at 10:09
Unloved YouTube videos.
Must require some plug-in that's not working on my Linux/Firefox set-up. Of course, I can't get Twitter videos to play, either.
Posted by: Ted S., Catskill Mtns., NY, USA | January 20, 2017 at 10:22
No refunds, credit note only.
Posted by: David | January 20, 2017 at 10:28
"Plum got there 79 years ago."
My dictionary says it's a humorous back-formation dating from the 1930s, so I wonder if that was Wodehouse?
Posted by: witwoud | January 20, 2017 at 11:47
Joan
You could count the number of feminists that could get into that skater dress on the fingers of Jaime's right hand.
Posted by: Ray | January 20, 2017 at 11:48
From the interview at (http://goop.com/better-sex-jade-eggs-for-your-yoni/): The egg will get lighter in color, with use; if you feel like it’s been drained of energy, recharge it in the full moon just the way you would a crystal. There's probably a "stick it where the sun don't shine" joke in there somewhere.
Posted by: Criticas | January 20, 2017 at 12:51
Feminist fashion.
I'll see your feminist fashion, and raise you a Genderflux. Do not click.
Regarding the feminist fashion, though, the entire collection appears to make this one a moot point, the "Kitty crop top" displays either an ignorance of anatomy, or slang for lady parts, and what the hell is it with selfies in the loo ?
Related to gruntled and etymology, can some of all y'all UK types help me out with "chuffed" ? I have heard it as both a positive and negative term. Is it like hooah (not to be confused with hoo-ha) which can mean anything and the proper meaning only devined by context and inflection ?
Posted by: Farnsworth M Muldoon | January 20, 2017 at 13:45
Perhaps this has been covered here before, but transsexualism is so passe. The hip new thing today is transability...
http://news.nationalpost.com/news/canada/becoming-disabled-by-choice-not-chance-transabled-people-feel-like-impostors-in-their-fully-working-bodies
I know I'd give my right arm to be disabled.
Posted by: wtp | January 20, 2017 at 13:47
can some of all y’all UK types help me out with “chuffed”?
Chuffed, as in gratified, delighted. “My daughter won first prize. I was dead chuffed.”
Not to be confused with the slang noun chuff, which can mean anything from a disagreeable person (but is often used sarcastically or affectionately) to cannabis, or a downstairs orifice or either type. “I can’t pull away from him - he’s right up my chuff,” as I believe Jeremy Clarkson once said, excitedly.
Posted by: David | January 20, 2017 at 14:00
have heard it as both a positive and negative term.
Sort of like the phrase,"Kick my ass." As in, "The climb up Mount Whitney was so tough, it really kicked my ass" versus "The view from the summit of Mount Whitney really kicked my ass."
Posted by: R. Sherman | January 20, 2017 at 14:16
Toda, David. Part of my confusion was the other day watching May be chuffed about something, then refer to a chuffing idiot, which didn't seem to add up as he was pleased with the first and the latter not.
I did not kow of the other meanings, so other than "chuffed" it appears not totally unlike hooah - "I was chuffed about my new car till some chuffing chuff stoner chuffing chuff ran his hooptie right up my chuff" ?
Posted by: Farnsworth M Muldoon | January 20, 2017 at 14:29
“I was chuffed about my new car till some chuffing chuff stoner chuffing chuff ran his hooptie right up my chuff”
Uncanny. It’s like listening to a Yorkshireman.
Posted by: David | January 20, 2017 at 14:32
Gruntled is hardly the only amusing back-formation out there. I humbly submit (humble because I had nothing to do with its creation) the following:
How a Man Met his Wife.
By Jack Winter, The New Yorker.
It had been a rough day, so when I walked into the party I was very chalant, despite my efforts to appear gruntled and consolate.
I was furling my wieldy umbrella for the coat check when I saw her standing alone in a corner. She was a descript person, a woman in a state of total array. Her hair was kempt, her clothing shevelled, and she moved in a gainly way.
I wanted desperately to meet her, but I knew I'd have to make bones about it, since I was travelling cognito. Beknownst to me, the hostess, whom I could see both hide and hair of, was very proper, so it would be skin off my nose if anything bad happened. And even though I had only swerving loyalty to her, my manners couldn't be peccable.
Only toward and heard-of behavior would do. Fortunately, the embarrassment that my maculate appearance might cause was evitable. There were two ways about it, but the chances that someone as flappable as I would be ept enough to become persona grata or sung hero were slim.
I was, after all, something to sneeze at, someone you could easily hold a candle to, someone who usually aroused bridled passion. So I decided not to rush it. But then, all at once, for some apparent reason, she looked in my direction and smiled in a way that I could make heads or tails of. So, after a terminable delay, I acted with mitigated gall and made my way through the ruly crowd with strong givings.
Nevertheless, since this was all new hat to me and I had no time to prepare a promptu speech, I was petuous. She responded well, and I was mayed that she considered me a savory character who was up to some good.
She told me who she was. "What a perfect nomer," I said, advertently. The conversation became more and more choate, and we spoke at length to much avail. But I was defatigable, so I had to leave at a godly hour. I asked if she wanted to come with me. To my delight, she was committal. We left the party together and have been together ever since. I have given her my love, and she has requited it.
Posted by: jabrwok | January 20, 2017 at 14:34
"I was chuffed about my new car till some chuffing chuff stoner chuffing chuff ran his hooptie right up my chuff"?
How smurfy!
Posted by: jabrwok | January 20, 2017 at 14:35
so I wonder if that was Wodehouse?
Pelham Grenville ("Plum" to his friends) Wodehouse has a lot of perversion of English to answer for, most of it hilarious.
Is it polite to ask how you stumbled upon the hoo-ha power egg?
A number of places spotlighted it due to connection to Gwyneth "steamed vagina, not braised" Paltrow, Ace being one of them. Then again, Ace's place itself isn't precisely polite.
Posted by: Sporkatus | January 20, 2017 at 15:21
David Thompson: Come for the Ephemera. Stay for the Semantics.
Posted by: R. Sherman | January 20, 2017 at 15:23
Say it with beef
Just my luck, they're already sold out. Would've been the perfect birthday gift for my daughter.
Posted by: SumDumGuy | January 20, 2017 at 18:05
You guys! We've done it! We've reached peak performance art!
http://hewillnotdivide.us/
This will go on for four years (8, if Trump wins the next election.) I can't stop watching.
Posted by: Jon Powers | January 20, 2017 at 18:58
Uncanny. It’s like listening to a Yorkshireman.
IOW, like Jeremy Clarkson ?
Posted by: Farnsworth M Muldoon | January 20, 2017 at 19:04
You guys! We’ve done it! We’ve reached peak performance art!
When twats roamed the Earth.
Posted by: David | January 20, 2017 at 19:10
IOW, like Jeremy Clarkson?
Born in Doncaster, I believe. So he’d be one of the options, yes.
Posted by: David | January 20, 2017 at 19:13
You guys! We’ve done it! We’ve reached peak performance art!
I hope you’re happy.
Posted by: David | January 20, 2017 at 19:26
I thought I'd found this here, but a cursory search doesn't turn it up (doubtless it's a few posts up in this very comment thread and I'm just blind), but anyway, in case I found it somewhere else: http://classicalpoets.org/inaugural-poem-for-donald-j-trump/
Posted by: jabrwok | January 20, 2017 at 19:36
It’s like listening to a Yorkshireman.
I'd rather hear a choir singing flat.
Posted by: Daniel Ream | January 20, 2017 at 19:57
"He will not divide us!"
Posted by: Hopp Singg | January 20, 2017 at 20:23
That's funny, the img did not show ...?
Posted by: Hopp Singg | January 20, 2017 at 20:24
Fixed.
Posted by: David | January 20, 2017 at 20:27
You could count the number of feminists that could get into that skater dress on the fingers of Jaime's right hand.
Come now! First- and second-wave feminists were often downright sexy. And frequently into sex. With men even!
I'll grant that many of the third-wave (and third-rate) ones are not as, ummm, palatable, let us say, to the eye.
Posted by: Chester Draws | January 21, 2017 at 01:33
Fixed.
Twice in two days, David. Thank you again.
Posted by: Hopp Singg | January 21, 2017 at 02:53
"peak performance art" David?
Does the money-shot from 5.08 in this Paul Joseph Watson compilation of Trump Inauguration SJW meltdowns count?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXQLUVDOhyo
Posted by: jones | January 21, 2017 at 08:53
The best part of the jade hoo-ha power egg ad: if you read the fine print, it says
"We are unable to accept returns on this product."
I guess that shouldn't be a surprise, for several reasons ...
Posted by: Herp McDerp | January 22, 2017 at 22:01
Here's the article by the gynocologist warning against using jade eggs: https://drjengunter.wordpress.com/2017/01/17/dear-gwyneth-paltrow-im-a-gyn-and-your-vaginal-jade-eggs-are-a-bad-idea/
Additional wisdom:
Quite so.Posted by: dicentra | January 23, 2017 at 04:30