Friday Ephemera

Beef roses, $35. Say it with beef. // At last, vaginal energy eggs. Put some magic crystal detox in your downstairs lady wallet. // A shared moment. (h/t, Obo) // Unicycle polo. // Unloved YouTube videos. // This had not occurred to me. (h/t, dicentra) // Obviously, I denounce the cultural appropriation. // Slow-mo see-through combustion engine. // Celebrity deaths, calculated. // Ancient trees. // Good deed. // Shade. // Starlings and snow. // Batman TAS writer’s style guide. // Drone’s-eye view of the Elbphilharmonie concert hall in Hamburg. (h/t, Nate) // A history of recorded sound. // 125,000 rpm string and paper centrifuge. (h/t, Malcolm) // Get lost in a light maze. // EquiTable, an app. // And finally, fashionably, the discreet and wearable breast pump you’ve all been waiting for.

Comments

[R. Sherman]

Is it polite to ask how you stumbled upon the hoo-ha power egg?

[Hopp Singg]

Do these eggs quiver with cosmic energy when connected to the internet?

[PiperPaul]

I doubt he found it while exploring where one usually finds human eggs.

[R. Sherman]

Isn't there a legend that he who retrieves the magic hoo-ha power egg from its lair becomes king of England?

[Daniel Ream]

Beef roses

That sounds suspiciously like a euphem...

vaginal energy eggs

Never mind.

And ah, our old friend the Batman TAS writer's bible. The DCAU really went downhill when Bruce Timm and Paul Dini got kicked upstairs.

[Ray]

Disgruntled

Back in the dawn of time when the Earth was young, a school friend made a similar observation about 'gormless'. What is gorm? Is it singular or plural? How many gorms should a normal person have?

[dicentra]

Gwyneth Paltrow or a similar ditz has been promoting the jade eggs as a follow-up to vaginal steaming and other nonsense.

I recently read a post by a gynocologist who said those things are:

(a) totes unnecessary, because you do nothing but clench, which affects how all your other muscle groups get used while walking

(b) potentially toxic, given that jade is porous, providing a nifty way to germinate new diseases

(c) just plain gross

[Lab Rat]

At last, vaginal energy eggs. Put some magic crystal detox in your downstairs lady wallet.

Our host comes up with such delightful turns of phrase - I busted out laughing.

Although I have to say I liked magic hoo-ha power egg too. I am very glad there was no one around when I read that - would have been difficult to explain to most people why I was cracking up in front of my laptop.

[Bloke in North Dorset]

I didn't have the stomach to get past the abstracts of these two papers:

Glaciers, gender, and science
A feminist glaciology framework for global environmental change research

"Merging feminist postcolonial science studies and feminist political ecology, the feminist glaciology framework generates robust analysis of gender, power, and epistemologies in dynamic social-ecological systems, thereby leading to more just and equitable science and human-ice interactions."

http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0309132515623368

The Pilates Pelvis: Racial Implications of the Immobile Hips

"By examining the intersections between dance and Pilates history, this article reveals the ways embodied discourses in Pilates are “white” in nature, and situates Pilates as a product of historically constructed social behaviors of dominant Anglo-European culture."
https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/dance-research-journal/article/the-pilates-pelvis-racial-implications-of-the-immobile-hips/2CDDDB16BFD648003DCAB3DD0634FF81

Perhaps those with a stronger constitution can manage it.

[Jen]

A shared moment.

⊙_ʘ

[David]

⊙_ʘ

It’s hard to imagine a context that would make it less… how it is.

[Novus]

Very disappointed that the Fraugarteneier are sold out. I wanted to ask the wife to incubate one.

Incidentally (and at the risk of proving deaf to our host's irony) it seems to me that, um, "Krystle" has missed the "humorous" indicator on the definition of "gruntled" that she found. That, or she's never seen Sports Night.

[Joan]

Feminist fashion. Not a parody.

http://joannathangiah.storenvy.com/

[TomJ]

"I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled." - Plum got there 79 years ago.

[sH2]

On 'angry white men'. http://takimag.com/article/i_guess_im_an_angry_white_man_joe_bob_briggs/print#axzz4WI59GyNw

[Ted S., Catskill Mtns., NY, USA]

Very disappointed that the Fraugarteneier are sold out. I wanted to ask the wife to incubate one.

Get her a tamagotchi.

[Ted S., Catskill Mtns., NY, USA]

Unloved YouTube videos.

Must require some plug-in that's not working on my Linux/Firefox set-up. Of course, I can't get Twitter videos to play, either.

[David]

No refunds, credit note only.

[witwoud]

"Plum got there 79 years ago."

My dictionary says it's a humorous back-formation dating from the 1930s, so I wonder if that was Wodehouse?

[Ray]

Joan
You could count the number of feminists that could get into that skater dress on the fingers of Jaime's right hand.

[Criticas]

From the interview at (http://goop.com/better-sex-jade-eggs-for-your-yoni/): The egg will get lighter in color, with use; if you feel like it’s been drained of energy, recharge it in the full moon just the way you would a crystal. There's probably a "stick it where the sun don't shine" joke in there somewhere.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

Feminist fashion.

I'll see your feminist fashion, and raise you a Genderflux. Do not click.

Regarding the feminist fashion, though, the entire collection appears to make this one a moot point, the "Kitty crop top" displays either an ignorance of anatomy, or slang for lady parts, and what the hell is it with selfies in the loo ?

Related to gruntled and etymology, can some of all y'all UK types help me out with "chuffed" ? I have heard it as both a positive and negative term. Is it like hooah (not to be confused with hoo-ha) which can mean anything and the proper meaning only devined by context and inflection ?

[wtp]

Perhaps this has been covered here before, but transsexualism is so passe. The hip new thing today is transability...

http://news.nationalpost.com/news/canada/becoming-disabled-by-choice-not-chance-transabled-people-feel-like-impostors-in-their-fully-working-bodies

I know I'd give my right arm to be disabled.

[David]

can some of all y’all UK types help me out with “chuffed”?

Chuffed, as in gratified, delighted. “My daughter won first prize. I was dead chuffed.”

Not to be confused with the slang noun chuff, which can mean anything from a disagreeable person (but is often used sarcastically or affectionately) to cannabis, or a downstairs orifice or either type. “I can’t pull away from him - he’s right up my chuff,” as I believe Jeremy Clarkson once said, excitedly.

[R. Sherman]

have heard it as both a positive and negative term.

Sort of like the phrase,"Kick my ass." As in, "The climb up Mount Whitney was so tough, it really kicked my ass" versus "The view from the summit of Mount Whitney really kicked my ass."

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

Toda, David. Part of my confusion was the other day watching May be chuffed about something, then refer to a chuffing idiot, which didn't seem to add up as he was pleased with the first and the latter not.

I did not kow of the other meanings, so other than "chuffed" it appears not totally unlike hooah - "I was chuffed about my new car till some chuffing chuff stoner chuffing chuff ran his hooptie right up my chuff" ?

[David]

“I was chuffed about my new car till some chuffing chuff stoner chuffing chuff ran his hooptie right up my chuff”

Uncanny. It’s like listening to a Yorkshireman.

[jabrwok]

Gruntled is hardly the only amusing back-formation out there. I humbly submit (humble because I had nothing to do with its creation) the following:

How a Man Met his Wife.

By Jack Winter, The New Yorker.

It had been a rough day, so when I walked into the party I was very chalant, despite my efforts to appear gruntled and consolate.

I was furling my wieldy umbrella for the coat check when I saw her standing alone in a corner. She was a descript person, a woman in a state of total array. Her hair was kempt, her clothing shevelled, and she moved in a gainly way.

I wanted desperately to meet her, but I knew I'd have to make bones about it, since I was travelling cognito. Beknownst to me, the hostess, whom I could see both hide and hair of, was very proper, so it would be skin off my nose if anything bad happened. And even though I had only swerving loyalty to her, my manners couldn't be peccable.

Only toward and heard-of behavior would do. Fortunately, the embarrassment that my maculate appearance might cause was evitable. There were two ways about it, but the chances that someone as flappable as I would be ept enough to become persona grata or sung hero were slim.

I was, after all, something to sneeze at, someone you could easily hold a candle to, someone who usually aroused bridled passion. So I decided not to rush it. But then, all at once, for some apparent reason, she looked in my direction and smiled in a way that I could make heads or tails of. So, after a terminable delay, I acted with mitigated gall and made my way through the ruly crowd with strong givings.

Nevertheless, since this was all new hat to me and I had no time to prepare a promptu speech, I was petuous. She responded well, and I was mayed that she considered me a savory character who was up to some good.

She told me who she was. "What a perfect nomer," I said, advertently. The conversation became more and more choate, and we spoke at length to much avail. But I was defatigable, so I had to leave at a godly hour. I asked if she wanted to come with me. To my delight, she was committal. We left the party together and have been together ever since. I have given her my love, and she has requited it.

[jabrwok]

"I was chuffed about my new car till some chuffing chuff stoner chuffing chuff ran his hooptie right up my chuff"?

How smurfy!

[Sporkatus]

so I wonder if that was Wodehouse?
Pelham Grenville ("Plum" to his friends) Wodehouse has a lot of perversion of English to answer for, most of it hilarious.

Is it polite to ask how you stumbled upon the hoo-ha power egg?
A number of places spotlighted it due to connection to Gwyneth "steamed vagina, not braised" Paltrow, Ace being one of them. Then again, Ace's place itself isn't precisely polite.

[R. Sherman]

David Thompson: Come for the Ephemera. Stay for the Semantics.

[SumDumGuy]

Say it with beef

Just my luck, they're already sold out. Would've been the perfect birthday gift for my daughter.

[Jon Powers]

You guys! We've done it! We've reached peak performance art!

http://hewillnotdivide.us/

This will go on for four years (8, if Trump wins the next election.) I can't stop watching.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

Uncanny. It’s like listening to a Yorkshireman.

IOW, like Jeremy Clarkson ?

[David]

You guys! We’ve done it! We’ve reached peak performance art!

When twats roamed the Earth.

[David]

IOW, like Jeremy Clarkson?

Born in Doncaster, I believe. So he’d be one of the options, yes.

[David]

You guys! We’ve done it! We’ve reached peak performance art!

I hope you’re happy.

[jabrwok]

I thought I'd found this here, but a cursory search doesn't turn it up (doubtless it's a few posts up in this very comment thread and I'm just blind), but anyway, in case I found it somewhere else: http://classicalpoets.org/inaugural-poem-for-donald-j-trump/

[Daniel Ream]

It’s like listening to a Yorkshireman.

I'd rather hear a choir singing flat.

[Hopp Singg]

"He will not divide us!"

[Hopp Singg]

That's funny, the img did not show ...?

[David]

Fixed.

[Chester Draws]

You could count the number of feminists that could get into that skater dress on the fingers of Jaime's right hand.

Come now! First- and second-wave feminists were often downright sexy. And frequently into sex. With men even!

I'll grant that many of the third-wave (and third-rate) ones are not as, ummm, palatable, let us say, to the eye.

[Hopp Singg]

Fixed.

Twice in two days, David. Thank you again.

[jones]

"peak performance art" David?

Does the money-shot from 5.08 in this Paul Joseph Watson compilation of Trump Inauguration SJW meltdowns count?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXQLUVDOhyo

[Herp McDerp]

The best part of the jade hoo-ha power egg ad: if you read the fine print, it says

"We are unable to accept returns on this product."

I guess that shouldn't be a surprise, for several reasons ...

[dicentra]

Here's the article by the gynocologist warning against using jade eggs: https://drjengunter.wordpress.com/2017/01/17/dear-gwyneth-paltrow-im-a-gyn-and-your-vaginal-jade-eggs-are-a-bad-idea/

Additional wisdom:

My issue begins with the very start of your post on jade eggs specifically that “queens and concubines used them to stay in shape for emperors.” Nothing says female empowerment more than the only reason to do this is for your man! And then the claim that they can balance hormones is, quite simply, biologically impossible. Pelvic floor exercises can help with incontinence and even give stronger orgasms for some women, but they cannot change hormones. As for female energy? I’m a gynecologist and I don’t know what that is!? How does one test for it? Organically sourced, fair trade urine pH sticks coming soon to GOOP for $77 I presume?

…I hate to break it to you, but the uterus and vagina are different structures. If you are using the Sanskrit, while I admit I am no language scholar, it seems that yoni means the entire female reproductive tract and you should say that. Terminology aside, the vulva, vagina, cervix, and uterus are not intuition repositories and neither are they sources of “power” or “wisdom.” If fact, I find that assertion insulting. Do you really mean a woman who does not have a uterus is less effective? Is a woman without a vagina less intelligent? Is a woman who had a vulvectomy due to cancer less creative?

Quite so.