Friday Ephemera
July 07, 2017
Simpler times. // Less so. // “Mysterious stains everywhere” and other low-rent hotel horrors. // How sperm whales sleep. // At last, snortable chocolate. // His grip is better than yours. // Battery University. (h/t, Dr W) // Uncombable hair syndrome. // Almost Eighties. // Cocktails 101. Yes, there will be a test later. // Japanese playgrounds. // This just in. // This is one of these. // $15. // Photographing the Moon with a Game Boy camera. // The hazards of golf. // A vet’s life. (h/t, Damian) // Bit chilly out. // Your one-stop shop for Chicago murder stats. // Chinese rap is a thing that exists. (h/t, Elephants Gerald) // And finally, futuristically, “The motors are controlled by pressure sensors in your shoes, under your toes, and communicate to the thumb via Bluetooth connection.”
Simpler times.
The dog will be very well behaved, or the dog will be kibble.
Bird kibble.
Posted by: Hal | July 07, 2017 at 00:11
Battery University.
Yes, the pattern of an overinflated teachers' workshop that then claimed to be a school has now utterly hit bottom, even if it does keep digging . . .
Posted by: Hal | July 07, 2017 at 00:17
Japanese playgrounds.
One of 'em is almost the slide from the back yard of my preschool . . . mind you, that preschool was in Erlin, Taiwan . . .
Posted by: Hal | July 07, 2017 at 00:25
This just in.
. . . I do seem to remember costuming like that being a complete failure along with the rest of the Nineteen Empties making equally failed allegations of taste and style . . .
Posted by: Hal | July 07, 2017 at 00:28
Your one-stop shop for Chicago murder stats.
A person is murdered every [short increment of time], and oh boy is he really pissed off now!!!
Posted by: Hal | July 07, 2017 at 00:37
Oh, and Pogonip, I've noticed your taste for the traditional variety of faith over any of the New Age stuff . . . .
Posted by: Hal | July 07, 2017 at 00:45
“you could imagine it getting stuck in there, or the chocolate mixing with your mucus to create a paste that could block your sinuses.”
The horror! Being prone to sinus trouble myself, frankly I'd rather have some lovely chocolate than the muck that usually gets stuck up there. Who knows, it might even help...
“Uncombable hair syndrome.”
Kid was born too late. Women in the '80s spent a bloody fortune to look like that.
“Almost Eighties.”
Interesting. Didn't know Video Killed the Radio Star was written so early. I've always thought of Kraftwerk's The Model as very '70s, though.
This just in.
So it's the gulag inmate look next, is it? For the love of Pete, somebody give those blokes some bacon sandwiches. I never thought I'd find myself saying this, but I think I preferred the metrosexual lumberjack thing. At least it had the merit of looking healthy.
“Photographing the Moon with a Game Boy camera.”
I'm stunned at how well those turned out. That thing is terrible.
“Chinese rap is a thing that exists.”
I prefer Japanese girl bands myself. Don't you judge me.
Posted by: Sam Duncan | July 07, 2017 at 01:39
His grip is better than yours
Well, well, if it isn't Superfly! That guy was lucky to survive!
Posted by: jabrwok | July 07, 2017 at 02:16
“Mysterious stains everywhere” and other low-rent hotel horrors.
*runs screaming*
Posted by: Joan | July 07, 2017 at 07:29
Uncombable hair syndrome. // Almost Eighties.
ISWYDT
Posted by: Clam | July 07, 2017 at 07:51
Morning, all.
Spider-Man: Homecoming reviewed by The Onion.
Posted by: David | July 07, 2017 at 07:59
’Twas libo, and the vaters moto
Did vape and vorcot in the smits:
All shitbird were the rawhide scruffs,
And the Odo scribed in fits.
“Beware the Hookenskank, my troop!
The BAH it seeks, the clap it sows!
Beware the Dependagash, it’s mate at sea
It fluffs the barrack rows!”
O Corporals! Lance Corporals your fearful week is done;
The ship has weather’d every rack, the ale you sought is won;
The port is near, the smoke and beer, but soldier loses bearing,
While follow eyes on open thighs, the outcome grim and daring:
But O E-1s, E-2s, E-3s! O the promise of early bed
Where on the deck my troop there lies,
Fallen drunk instead.
Would you like to have some fun?
Did you, did you clean your gun?
Field day quick and then you may
Have libo soon, but first obey!
Do not smoke it in the dark.
Do not sniff it in the park.
Do not shoot up here or there.
Drugs are wrongful everywhere.
Posted by: Hal | July 07, 2017 at 08:32
How you get Trump.
https://twitter.com/clairlemon/status/883190221159845888
Posted by: sk60 | July 07, 2017 at 09:41
This darn new-fangled hamster sacrifice will NOT please Cthulhu.
Posted by: Pogonip | July 07, 2017 at 09:58
Your one-stop shop for Chicago murder stats.
Stop noticing things.
Posted by: Jonathan | July 07, 2017 at 10:20
That is an amazingly informative page. I'd love to see it done for other major cities. 32 people shot in the nether regions, ouch.
Posted by: Tom | July 07, 2017 at 12:49
The most interesting thing about that Chinese rap video is the glimpse into China's devotion to clean air and a pristine environment.
Liberals like Al Gore have been telling us for decades how China is a paragon of environmental awareness. I'll bet 90% of liberals under 30 actually believe it's true.
Behold, you dumb bunnies, this is what China's industrial cities really look like. Toxic wastelands.
Posted by: Burnsie | July 07, 2017 at 12:50
I never cease to be amazed by the problems SJWs invent, roads are rayciss.
I should have known this because I have literally never seen a person of color or a womxn drive anywhere, ever.
However, if you are remotely interested in road improvement, you are apparently a Nazi.
Posted by: Farnsworth M Muldoon | July 07, 2017 at 14:09
Well, I have to say, in my part of the U.S., where there's no vehicle inspection and vehicles can be, and are, held together by rust and duct tape, she's right. Our roads are full of battered, rusty old jalopies, cracked windshields, holes in the muffler, hanging bumpers, and every one of them has a rich white man behind the wheel. Such is the fiendish cleverness of these rich white men that they often disguise themselves as black men, or women of any race--but we know who and what they really are.
Posted by: Pogonip | July 07, 2017 at 14:21
However, if you are remotely interested in road improvement, you are apparently a Nazi.
And note the same old manoeuvre.
1. Publicly declare something that’s eye-catchingly stupid and/or deliberately insulting to large numbers of people.
2. Receive large number of factual corrections, mocking replies, etc.
3. Feign victimhood (and bewilderment at the attention).
Posted by: David | July 07, 2017 at 14:32
Incidentally, Ms Criado-Perez has entertained us before.
Posted by: David | July 07, 2017 at 14:42
Poor CNN. All bashed up.
Posted by: David | July 07, 2017 at 15:05
Since this is ephemera and I got no one else to discuss this with...not that anyone cares, but I find it rather interesting and amusing...Don't mean to brag, don't mean to boast but I just got banned by Patterico...and I still like hot butter on my breakfast toast...Just gotta be me....And this was after someone there suggested I go give Milo and college boys bj's.
But more generally, the inability of so many conservatives to come to terms with PDT, after all these months, after much of what he has accomplished pushing back against the media, and especially this latest fight with CNN, that certain NT conservatives cannot grasp winning partially explains why they never win. They have no fight...Anyway, was planning to post this which I'm sure quite a few saw already at Ace of Spades...but damn it's good...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyvXmzWFlzM
Posted by: WTP | July 07, 2017 at 15:12
Performance art.
Posted by: Farnsworth M Muldoon | July 07, 2017 at 15:15
Publicly declare something that’s eye-catchingly stupid...
To give credit where credit's due, she's very good at it.
Posted by: Burnsie | July 07, 2017 at 15:28
Performance art.
Heh. I once had neighbours whose sexual activities were astoundingly loud. Thing is, if someone is blasting out loud music or whatever, you can pop round and ask them to keep it down. But I wasn’t quite sure how to raise the subject of their seemingly operatic sex lives. Luckily, the lady in question got pregnant and the sex noise came to an end.
Posted by: David | July 07, 2017 at 15:31
So it's the gulag inmate look next, is it?
Every single one of those models looks like an anorexic Steve Buscemi.
Posted by: Daniel Ream | July 07, 2017 at 16:26
So it’s the gulag inmate look next, is it?
I think they’re going for the “I can quit whenever I want” aesthetic.
Posted by: David | July 07, 2017 at 16:30
I use the word aesthetic loosely.
Posted by: David | July 07, 2017 at 16:31
Zinnea Jones, at it again on Young Cons. Stupid me can't figure out how to copy link, but s/he asserts straight men MUST date trans-women or else they are transphobic and sexist and possibly racist....
Posted by: QuintAmpersandJessel | July 07, 2017 at 16:39
Every single one of those models looks like an anorexic Steve Buscemi.
Excuse me while I rummage around the attic to see if any of my grandfather's clothes are still around...
Posted by: Farnsworth M. Muldoon | July 07, 2017 at 17:02
[it] asserts straight men MUST date trans-women or else they are transphobic and sexist and possibly racist....
And this sort of thing is why those attitudes are not only becoming less verboten, but are likely to become actively embraced. If everything and everyone is phobistic, then nothing and no one is. And if there's nothing one can do about it (as a straight, white male I've been assured that I'm irredeemably evil) then why not embrace it? Better to be hanged for a sheep than a lamb.
Plus there are cookies!
Posted by: jabrwok | July 07, 2017 at 17:48
This is cute...
http://www.bizpacreview.com/2017/07/07/pro-refugee-george-clooney-reportedly-moving-family-back-us-feels-unsafe-terrorism-ravaged-britain-511080Personally, I really only voted for Trump because of all the celebrities who said they'd leave the country if he became POTUS. Now they're coming back???? I've been lied to! I want a do-over!
Posted by: WTP | July 07, 2017 at 18:14
This is cute...
And once again, the Simon Schama Tendency.
Posted by: David | July 07, 2017 at 18:33
The birth of the ampersand.
Posted by: Farnsworth M. Muldoon | July 07, 2017 at 18:47
The assassin's teapot -- http://www.neatorama.com/2016/02/17/The-Assassins-Teapot-How-Does-This-Thing-Work/ -- a device with multiple applications.
Posted by: The Sage | July 07, 2017 at 19:19
Zinnia's lucky I'm not a man. By the time I figured out whether a "girl" with guy bits was supposed to be a trans-man or trans-woman or trans-koala-bear or whatever, it'd be last call and xhe'd get no action from me anyway. It was a lot easier when male "girls" were plain old drag queens. (And don't take my word for it, ask Ray Davies and L-O-L-A Lola.)
Posted by: Pogonip | July 07, 2017 at 20:11
Meanwhile, in the Guardian’s Howling At The Moon Pages…
Posted by: David | July 07, 2017 at 20:25
Meanwhile, in the Guardian’s Howling At The Moon Pages…
If having a female voice for "Alexa" in unsuitable, then perhaps the voice needs to be that of Malcolm Tucker.
Posted by: Hal | July 07, 2017 at 20:48
performance art
As in so many situations, xkcd has the answer.
https://xkcd.com/316/
Posted by: Fred the Fourth | July 07, 2017 at 21:03
“Female digital assistants that do not fight back reinforce the connection between a woman’s voice and submission. In fact, it encourages it.”
Easy fix, change the language to German, and then everything the "female" is a command.
Posted by: Farnsworth M. Muldoon | July 07, 2017 at 21:18
If having a female voice for “Alexa” in unsuitable,
Why, it’s almost as if Ms O’Shea was so determined to arrive at a preordained, rather doctrinaire conclusion that she shied away from basic research in case it might get in the way – say, as to the women involved in developing such devices, or types of voices that carry well against background noise, or the numerous surveys as to the voice preferences among male and female customers, etc.
Female digital assistants that do not fight back reinforce the connection between a woman’s voice and submission.
We await the Guardian’s attempt to market a digital assistant that’s suitably surly and uncooperative.
Posted by: David | July 07, 2017 at 22:17
"Siri, where's the world's largest ball of twine at?"
"How should I know, pendejo? Get up off your giant lazy sexist culo and find it yourself! Me cago en Dios! Do you think I'm here to answer your stupid patriarchal questions? Cisshetero blah blah blah blah blah..."
Feminists are baffled by the poor reaction to Feminist Siri...
(And that clicking noise is David looking up words so he can decide whether he should scold me for Feminist Siri's dialogue--and yes, he probably should. 🤒
Posted by: Pogonip | July 07, 2017 at 23:36
I saw Sex Noise as the warm up act for Unexpected Scrotum back in '78. No, it wasn't in Thailand.
Posted by: PiperPaul | July 08, 2017 at 01:21
High school indoctrination.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yalZQD4576g
Posted by: Rafi | July 08, 2017 at 09:45
We await the Guardian’s attempt to market a digital assistant that’s suitably surly and uncooperative.
Somebody, definitely not the Guardian, already has. (NSFW)
Posted by: Jonathan | July 08, 2017 at 12:52
Fast Food with a twist:
Posted by: Jonathan | July 08, 2017 at 13:00
Fear Them:
Posted by: Jonathan | July 08, 2017 at 13:17
Fear Them
Would it be unkind to wish upon these clowns a small taste of their own ideology’s ultimate destination?
Posted by: David | July 08, 2017 at 13:31
Would it be unkind to wish upon these clowns a small taste of their own ideology’s ultimate destination?
Communism means never having to say you're sorry.
Posted by: Jonathan | July 08, 2017 at 13:39
Fear Them
The sad part is that they take themselves seriously, the comical part is that 8 out of 14 don't know how to make a fist even with a picture of one behind zem. I suspect that in a real fight they'd go down like the first rank in any 19th century musketry battle.
Would it be unkind to wish upon these clowns a small taste of their own ideology’s ultimate destination?
No, as it could possibly wake them from their intellectual torpor, it would be a kindness to both them, and normal people.
Posted by: Farnsworth M Muldoon | July 08, 2017 at 14:51
No, as it could possibly wake them from their intellectual torpor,
And given sufficient numbers and sufficient influence, there will presumably come a point at which kindness is no longer a priority.
Posted by: David | July 08, 2017 at 14:57
Why aren't these people in Cuba?
Posted by: WTP | July 08, 2017 at 14:58
Meanwhile, back to unfortunate signs.
Posted by: Farnsworth M Muldoon | July 08, 2017 at 14:59
What we have been discussing is yet another example of female instincts being expressed inappropriately, in this case the instinct to Make The Kids Behave. This crucial instinct has kept the entire human race from winning one big Darwin Award, but Western society has created a huge class of women who have no proper place to use this instinct; they don't have kids, and you just can't make a cat behave. But the instinct will out, as instincts do. Modern feminism, SJW-ism, and Human Resources are all about Making The Kids Behave.
Posted by: Pogonip | July 08, 2017 at 16:34
Interesting thought, Pogonip. Mothers essentially have to be authoritarians for a certain percentage of the time during a large large portion of their children's upbringing, so maybe you're onto something there.
Maybe mention it to a few modern feminists and see what happens.
Posted by: PiperPaul | July 09, 2017 at 00:18
Give it a try and let us know what happens!
Posted by: Pogonip | July 09, 2017 at 00:39
Piper, Pogo:
Can I sell tickets? I already optioned the popcorn rights.
Also, I'm thinking...armored glass? Antivenin? An A-10?
Can't risk damage to the paying customers...
Posted by: Fred the Fourth | July 09, 2017 at 06:27
Hi Fred,
Earplugs would probably be the most popular concrssion-stand item.
Posted by: Pogonip | July 09, 2017 at 07:43
Another instance of the Simon Schama Tendency.
One of California’s wealthiest counties may continue to get a pass under the state’s affordable housing laws.
Must be too crowded to let more houses be built...
Lawmakers are considering a measure that would allow parts of Marin County to limit growth more tightly than other regions of California.
Marin County is where George Lucas and other Billionaire Democrat voters live. Evidently, the cost of mass immigration and 'Diversity' must be born by non-Billionaies exclusively.
Posted by: Jonathan | July 09, 2017 at 12:17
Another instance of the Simon Schama Tendency.
Ummm??? Are you attempting to cite the L.A. Times by way of Reddit?
If so, dear old Simon does come to mind, but that's about it; really big money and political demographics ain't the issue.
Lesseee . .
Marin County is where George Lucas and other Billionaire Democrat voters live.
Dunno about political demographics for Marin, given that California overall has long been noted as being quite mixed among mere right wing and then conservative and then mere left wing.
For where to find Billionaires, Lucas tends to be in Marin, and then very much off the top of my head, wahtsisface from Facebook is SF and places, Peter Thiel is definitely SF, Ellison is down the SF peninsula and into San JoseIsh, and those are just the handiest ones I'm remembering at the moment . . .
So no, it's not a billionaire or political orientation issue going on . . .
At this point the Reddit commentary looks rather more apt.
As has been noted here at least a couple of times the big housing issues in California keep being assorted particular locals demanding No, with yea many politicians trying to sort out the issues for everyone . . .
Posted by: Hal | July 09, 2017 at 17:16
True. I don't think there's any question that NIMBYs are exactly what Joe and his fellow travelers are.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Posted by: Achillea | July 11, 2017 at 21:10