David Thompson
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August 30, 2017

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pst314

"Weakest assassination attempt ever?"

Would a would-be assassin really try to drive their car through a ditch like that? A driver error or equipment malfunction seems more likely.

Pogonip

Is that Triggly Puff in the bottom right picture, in the front?

I know a guy who says he won't go to those Pride events because they bring out the lunatic fringe.

This particular lunatic must not know that the cops can have her brakes checked to see if they really did fail.

Hopp Singg

She is passionate about social justice, black feminisms, and zombies.

One of these things is not like the others...

Oh, wait, yes it is.

WTP

A driver error or equipment malfunction seems more likely.

At the precise moment the POTUS is passing by? Looks to me like she thought she could get around the streets that were blocked off by police by going through a parking lot or field and trying to cross that culvert. I'd be curious to see a google map of the exact area.

Jonathan

Would a would-be assassin really try to drive their car through a ditch like that? A driver error or equipment malfunction seems more likely.

Given that this, a 30-40 metre long side road is where the car emerged from, I think it was deliberate - just incompetent.

David

I think it was deliberate - just incompetent.

The local police have issued a statement that there was “no intent of harm or disruption to the motorcade,” so I’m assuming this woman was very lucky. In that, being shot wasn’t entirely out of the question.

Clam

and I’m halfway through a Sapphire & Steel audio drama.

I Googled 'Sapphire & Steel' and lost 20 minutes of my life.

David

I Googled ‘Sapphire & Steel’ and lost 20 minutes of my life.

No refunds. Credit note only.

It’s not something I’d search out very often, I should point out, but I remember enjoying the TV series as a child, what with the portentous titles, the low-budget creepiness and lots of ominous walking from one room to another. I certainly preferred it to Doctor Who.

[ Added: ]

It’s very low budget, and slow, and very stagey; and it was once described, fairly, as “high-quality nonsense.” But the series is itself an interesting anomaly and the better episodes do have a certain… atmosphere, an air of menace conjured out of next to nothing. It barely hangs together at the best of times, and it’s premised on the characters in effect battling reified ideas or emotions – resentment, nostalgia, etc., which was all a bit heady for tea-time British television. I like the obstinate ambiguities of it and the fact that the protagonists’ origins and talents, and indeed their motives and morality, aren’t entirely clear. It was one of the first dramas I remember in which the heroes – if that’s what they are – save the day, and the fabric of space-time, by deliberately leading a hapless but entirely innocent character to a cruel and untimely doom.

Jonathan

... there was “no intent of harm or disruption to the motorcade,”

Good news. I bet she needed a change of pants though.

WTP

Yeah, not buying that police statement. The incompetence of the driver, while very likely, provides convenient cover to avoid hours/weeks of paperwork with the feds. Looking at Jonathan's link, looks exactly like the sort of thing someone with little understanding of real world car stunts would plan. Think of all the things that have to come together. Not only must twiggly puff snowflake just happen to loose her breaks at the exact moment the POTUS is passing by, but she would also happen to choose the exact, barely discernible off-road water conduit toward the motorcade. Even losing the breaks unless she was traveling at a high rate of speed on a small access road (why?), the gas pedal must have stuck to the floor as well as a car simply coasting should have not been able to exit that conduit in fast enough to get that far over the ditch. Match Jonathan's link with this overhead map to see how far off the access road she was...

https://www.google.com/maps/@37.2387015,-93.2480745,309m/data=!3m1!1e3

R. Sherman

One of the links indicates she was ostensibly coming from the great Bass Pro Shop mothership. She doesn't impress me as being the type to peruse the latest offerings from Nitro.

Farnsworth M. Muldoon

A driver error or equipment malfunction seems more likely.

According to the state of Missouri, unless otherwise posted, the speed limit in an area like that would be 25 MPH, and indeed per the street view there is a sign that says that going the other direction about 300m west of Bass Pro Shop HQ.

Unless she was going like a bat out of hell, and assuming she was going north in front of Bass Pro Shop HQ, there would have been no reason to brake at the point where she went straight through the trees, and in any event, given the curvature of the road at the opening of the trees, she would have had to have been steering left, not right, to get through the one gap that would let a car through.

Bass Pro Shop in the olden days:

R. Sherman

@Muldoon,

I'm so old, I remember the Brown Derby Stores in Springfield. Bass Pro is the same family IIRC.

David

I’m so old, I remember the Brown Derby Stores in Springfield.

I need to get a younger, happening crowd in here. Maybe I should order one of those karaoke machines.

The switched-on kids like pickled eggs, don’t they?

Farnsworth M. Muldoon

Brown Derby I am unfamiliar with, the store in the picture, however...

R. Sherman

The Brown Derby was a chain of liquor stores in Springfield. The son of the owner founded Bass Pro, I think. He was selling fishing tackle, bait and so forth in his dad's stores then decided to branch out. It (Bass Pro) started as a combination Hunting/Fishing/Booze concern which is reflected in the sign above. There was one on the business loop in Columbia. IIRC, the son began concentrating more on sporting goods and fishing and the modern Bass Pro Shop was born. Of course, they're all over the place now, but the Springfield location was the first.

Jonathan

Maybe I should order one of those karaoke machines.

Is that one of these new-fangled contraptions?

David

Is that one of these new-fangled contraptions?

I’m assuming it doesn’t come with an app. Is it powered with bellows?

Farnsworth M. Muldoon

There was one on the business loop in Columbia.

Yep, the one in the picture, the sign is now at Shakespeare's Pizza.

WTP

I think I've found a far more plausible explanation...Directly across the highway from the water conduit from which our subject emerged is the "Hong Kong Spa" where it seems one can enjoy amenities such as a hot tub or sauna or procure the service of a "body shampoo". That must be where she was headed. Gotta admit it makes more sense than the Bass Pro Shop.

And yes, I am bored again.

David

I think I’ve found a far more plausible explanation...

We should travel the country in a mini-van, solving mysteries and detecting things. Though by we, of course, I mean you heathens. I’d be somewhere more comfortable, coordinating things and looking at computer print-outs. With a glass of wine.

A bit like Charlie’s Angels.

WTP

We should travel the country in a mini-van, solving mysteries and detecting things.

Been there, done that. I'm the one on the left.

Farnsworth M. Muldoon

Gotta admit it makes more sense than the Bass Pro Shop.

Rut-roh...

As to where she could have been headed, yes, but not why she couldn't make a 25 MPH curve, or use the hand brake, or veered left to go through the trees.Rut-roh...

Hal

The incompetence of the driver, while very likely, provides convenient cover to avoid hours/weeks of paperwork with the feds.

The White House perimeter was breached Thursday night, but the perpetrator won't be saying much. . . . "We were going to wait until he learned to talk to question him, but in lieu of that he got a timeout and was sent on his way with his parents,”
Hal

We should travel the country in a mini-van, solving mysteries and detecting things.

Fine, but who plays Sapphire, who plays Steel, and who plays the other assorted elements?

Trevor

A bit like Charlie’s Angels.

Before you start booking audition slots, let me say I may not be the best match, coiffure-wise, for the Farrah Fawcett role. Or the Jaclyn Smith. Or the Kate Jackson.

Farnsworth M. Muldoon

...and now for something completely different, college fraternity and sorority types scared by banana peel. In Mississippi, believe it or don't.

A Greek Life retreat at the University of Mississippi (Ole Miss) was promptly cancelled this weekend after a banana peel was found hanging in a tree.

“To be clear, many members of our community were hurt, frightened, and upset by what occurred at IMPACT,” Interim Director of Fraternity and Sorority Life Alexa Lee Arndt remarked in an email between Greek leaders...After word of the banana spread throughout the retreat, leaders decided to end the event early. Arndt explained that she “felt it was imperative to provide space immediately to students affected by this incident.”

According to The DM, some students left the retreat in tears, with McNeil noting that they “didn’t feel welcome” and “didn’t feel safe.”

I know I am not Woke™, but how the hell can one be "hurt, frightened, and upset" by a damn banana peel. A mango or coconut, sure, but not a banana.

Jonathan

Is it powered with bellows?

No, whiskey.

Hal

how the hell can one be "hurt, frightened, and upset" by a damn banana peel. A mango or coconut, sure

Prolly not hurt, frightened, and upset with a mango, those have already been established as objects of awe, to be worshiped.

Hal

. . . believe it or don't. . .

Besides, as you point out, college fraternity and sorority types

By definition, not the sharpest lumps of sandstone in the knife drawer.

Farnsworth M. Muldoon

By definition, not the sharpest lumps of sandstone in the knife drawer.

True indeed, but back in the olden days, they were mainly Delta Tau Chi types, or preppies, who were just more refined partiers, and neither would have the vapors over a banana peel, unless it meant they were out of bananas for banana daiquiris.

Kids these days, and David wants more of them around here...

Hal

Hmmmmmmm.

Cracked magazine is a variety of cousin of Mad Magazine that finally folded, and then revived as a website.

And it's the website that did a rather interesting analysis in October 2016 that pretty much summed up the election that occurred one month later.

Hal

. . . or preppies, who were just more refined partiers, . . .

Ehn . . . Given what the hipsters have rather insistently demonstrated, from first claiming to be called preppys and then after, and given what you're describing, do you think a more likely example of whom you have in mind would be Bertie and the Drones Club?

dicentra

In case you were looking for reasons to think Linda Sarsour is a sociopath, here's the latest: Soliciting funds for her political agitation in the name of Hurricane Relief.

Also, and I'm totally not making this up, sarsour is Arabic for "cockroach."

dicentra

On a happier note, some gospel singers praise God from their flood shelter.

Farnsworth M. Muldoon

Given what the hipsters have rather insistently demonstrated, from first claiming to be called preppys and then after...

You must bear in mind I am speaking of a period before there were hipsters; there were Greeks, jocks, hippies, townies, student body unaffiliated hoi polloi, and some retread beatnik (original ofay hipsters, not to be confused with Sugar Hill hipsters). For preppies, think Omega Theta Pi types.

PiperPaul

Oregano keeps trouble-causing folks away


Keeps tigers away

Pogonip

Farnsworth CLAIMS he's not afraid of bananas, but I've never seen him in the same room with one...

Pogonip

Well, I'll be darned.

http://www.fearof.net/fear-of-bananas-phobia-bananaphobia/

Farnsworth M. Muldoon

Farnsworth CLAIMS he's not afraid of bananas...

I am highly trained to defend myself from attacks from fresh fruit.

Pogonip

That phobia website makes interesting reading. My son's afraid of dogs, and I was surprised to learn that's a common phobia. It has interfered with my lifelong goal of getting an itty-bitty dog such as a Yorkie and naming it Cujo.

My mom bred poodles; I spent my youth among oodles of poodles. Then I produced a kid who fears dogs.

If you ever have the chance to see 3-week-old poodle puppies bumbling around learning to eat from a dish, take advantage of it: there are few things cuter.

Pogonip

Except maybe this.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qkdXAtO40Fo

jabrwok

Apparently there's an entire series on the martial utility of fruit.

Who knew?

PiperPaul

Self Defence Against Fresh Fruit
https://youtu.be/U90dnUbZMmM

(couldn't get YouTube to embed)

Matt

If you ever have the chance to see 3-week-old poodle puppies bumbling around learning to eat from a dish, take advantage of it: there are few things cuter.

Except maybe this.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qkdXAtO40Fo

Few things surpass the cuteness of a Shih-Tzu puppy:

Awwww...

Possibly cute enough even to melt the heart of a cynophobic.

Matt

Picture came in bigger than I intended. Seems like the html to modify the size didn't work...

Hal

I am highly trained to defend myself from attacks from fresh fruit.

"I believe the records said 'not qualified, but passed.'"

Spiny Norman

I am highly trained to defend myself from attacks from fresh fruit.

But what about pointed sticks???

TomJ

Apropos of Sapphire and Steel, hasn't David McCallum had a bloody long and successful career? He is currently one of the stars of one of the most successful TV shows in the US, NCIS, playing the medical examiner Donald "Ducky" Mallard. This is possibly my favourite bit of dialogue from the 10 seasons of the show I've watched:

Kate: Gibbs? What did Ducky look like when he was younger?

Gibbs: [straight-faced] Illya Kuryakin.

Tim Newman

Few things surpass the cuteness of a Shih-Tzu puppy:

I went to a zoo once. It was just a dog in a cage.

It was a shih-tzu.

Ahem.

David

Ahem.

I’m putting together a posse. With jokes like that, you’d better get out of town.

Fen Tiger

Queer activists are using magic as a resistance

Late to the game. As a junior on one of the Fleet Street papers, a friend of mine was sent to Greenham Common to interview a covern of witches. Their rituals were varied, but most seemed to involve hanging used tampons on the perimeter fence; they were battling a covern employed by the MOD, apparently.

Jonathan

Their rituals were varied, but most seemed to involve hanging used tampons on the perimeter fence; they were battling a covern employed by the MOD, apparently.

That seems totally normal.

Pogonip

Well, where else would you hang used tampons?

champ

Weary our voice?

Weary of your voice...

Daniel Ream

Their rituals were varied, but most seemed to involve hanging used tampons on the perimeter fence

You want to watch a total meltdown, point out to a neopagan that all their rituals bear no resemblance whatsoever to surviving pre-Christian traditions, but are transparent copies of upper-class bourgeois 19th century occult practices. And the guy who invented Wicca was a student of Aleister Crowley just before his death.

Hal

You want to watch a total meltdown, point out to a neopagan that all their rituals bear no resemblance whatsoever to surviving pre-Christian traditions,

Episcopagan.

See also . . .

Michael

I don't see what's wrong with separate facilities as long as they're equal.

champ

I’m tempted to poke it with a stick right now.

Is it a sharp, pointed stick?

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