All Fingers And Thumbs

In other news, 

Officials in Manatee County, Florida are under fire after an interpreter for the deaf warned about pizza and monsters during an emergency briefing related to Hurricane Irma… Members of the deaf community said [amateur interpreter, Marshall] Greene mostly signed gibberish, referencing “pizza,” “monsters,” and using the phrase “help you at that time to use bear big,” during the event. 

Via Popehat. 

Comments

[Sam]

"Related"

http://edition.cnn.com/2013/12/11/world/africa/mandela-memorial-fake-intepreter/index.html

[David]

To quote Homer Simpson: “Something, something, then you’ll see, you’ll avoid catastrophe.”

[Spiny Norman]

Also "related"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=butZyxI-PRs

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

Also "related"

Speaking of gibberish.

[aelfheld]

I'm always looking for help to use bear big.

[Hopp Singg]

Well, if firefighters no longer need to be able to carry people out of burning buildings, why should interpreters need to speak the language?

Though this could cause confusion and mistrust at the UN, I'll admit.

[David]

Well, if firefighters no longer need to be able to carry people out of burning buildings, why should interpreters need to speak the language?

From what I can make out, maybe we shouldn’t be too hard on the cack-handed amateur interpreter, a lifeguard by profession, who was, it seems, asked to step in at the last minute and ended up out of his depth.

Besides, pizza monsters!

[Farnsworth M. Muldoon]

Meanwhile in the world of gibberish, The Smartest Woman In The World Evar™ Speaks.

"The president has basically insulted and attacked South Korea. South Korea is literally, you know, within miles of the border with North Korea..."

Within miles. It is unclear whether the former Secretary of State has concerns of Nork big bears as well.

[Hopp Singg]

a lifeguard by profession, who was, it seems, asked to step in at the last minute and ended up out of his depth.

A lifeguard out of his depth? A metaphor for our times!

[David]

Within miles.

The most charitable reading I can come up with is that maybe she was thinking of the DMZ, which I suppose is a couple of miles or so.

I know, It’s not like me at all. Chalk it up to brain fever.

[Wh00ps]

They would be so at risk if something were done by Kim Jong Un."

"so at risk"

Aaaaargh! Where's my red pen?

[Farnsworth M. Muldoon]

The most charitable reading I can come up with is that maybe she was thinking of the DMZ...

Even though it averages about 2.5 miles wide, the DMZ is the border, so that is an entire foundation worth of charity...

[David]

so that is an entire foundation worth of charity...

I’m finishing off a large glass of red. It may have dulled my senses.

[Farnsworth M. Muldoon]

A glass ?

[David]

A glass?

Of course another possibility is that the wine has made me kinder, fluffier, more forgiving.

Oh dear God.

[Hippogryph]

Al Gore did warn us about Manbearpig, it must be said.

[Trevor]

Of course another possibility is that the wine has made me kinder, fluffier, more forgiving.

If I ever find myself in such a pitiful state, a good night's sleep and plenty of water has the vitriol levels back within normal range before you can say 'Patience Strong'.

[Farnsworth M. Muldoon]

Of course another possibility is that the wine has made me kinder, fluffier, more forgiving.

A couple of those pickled eggs and the resultant night of gas and reflux will have you right as rain by morning.

[David]

A couple of those pickled eggs and the resultant night of gas and reflux will have you right as rain by morning.

But there’s also a 30% chance of blindness. There is a disclaimer on the jar. Well, underneath the jar, anyway.

What?

[champ]

The most charitable reading I can come up with is that maybe she was thinking of the DMZ, which I suppose is a couple of miles or so.

I think she meant to say Seoul, which is 10 miles south of the North Korea-South Korea border.

[Farnsworth M. Muldoon]

I think she meant to say Seoul...

It is nice of David to share his carboy of wine.

[PiperPaul]

What does a celebrity news website have to do with Korea, anyway?

[Pogonip]

Seoul is 20 miles, give or take, from the DMZ.

I thought I bookmarked the magnesium advice but I can't find it. Can whoever suggested it tell me how long it takes before you notice the effect?

[Pogonip]

I tried to read the article about the Goddess Hillary's faux pas and was forcibly rerouted to latest pictures of Kim Kardashian. This happened twice; is it a Democratic conspiracy ?

[lotocoti]

I just don't get it.
You pay a fortune to an ex court stenographer to live subtitle.
More to insert those subtitles into the vertical interval group on TV pictures.
Which can be read by practically every TV in existence.
But we still have someone cluttering up framing, swatting flies, because what?
Deaf people suddenly can't read?

[Hal]

. . . South Korea is literally, you know, within miles of the border with North Korea..."

I'm reminded of the classic Romance Of A Horsethief, which takes place on the joint border of Germany and Russia.

[Richard Cranium]

Deaf people suddenly can't read?

I wondered about that as well.

[Thomas Fuller]

I'll just leave this here, if nobody objects:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4891484/Fists-fly-politically-correct-rally.html

[Daniel Ream]

I'll just leave this here, if nobody objects

Not enough popcorn in the world.

[Allan]

And those who arent deaf were told it was due to climate change. Pizza monsters seem just as like, and much more fun.

[Sonny Wayze]

"I'll just leave this here, if nobody objects"

60 years old. Purple hair.

Okaaay...

[Hal]

60 years old. Purple hair.

Now, now, now, it's not always purple.

[Daniel Ream]

Deaf people suddenly can't read?

Apparently the logistics of getting proper closed captioning sourced are onerous enough that when there's an emergency briefing on short notice like this they use live interpreters. And it seems they were unable to get a licensed interpreter in time and this guy tried to pitch in at the last minute.

I feel bad for the guy, he did his best in an emergency and he's being nationally mocked for it. At least he didn't shoot a lion.