Friday Ephemera

Code brown and hairy. || Tricky conditions. || A delicate touch. (h/t, Obnoxio) || Today’s word is segue. (h/t, Ben) || In defiance of gravity. || An ongoing index of every physical record shop. || Pastries of note. || It’s a price she’s willing to pay. || Every bloody time. (h/t, Holborn) || When you’ve never held a baby before. || Bookmark of note. (h/t, Damian) || Animated collages. || Cross-cultural bonding. || His computer case modification is more ambitious than yours. || How to de-crumple a paper balloon. || The thrilling world of icicles. || Hand-carved wooden toys of note. || Cinemagraphic waves. || When victimhood is currency, strange things will happen. || And finally, artistically, his self-portrait-done-from-the-wrong-side-of-the-canvas-using-a-mirror is more impressive than yours.

Comments

[Ian]

That paragliding one is just spectacular.

[PiperPaul]

"Tricky conditions"

Montreal should have a rebuttal within a few weeks. I forget if last year's slide-a-thon was posted here.

[Spiny Norman]

slide-a-thon

One of the few remaining things nice about living in California is that studded snow tires are still legal. Lived in Big Bear for 23 years. Loved my studded tires, because they'd grip even on a hill like that. OTOH, I did get hit a couple times because I could stop on the ice but someone else couldn't. >_<

[Liz]

Today’s word is segue.

That was random. :-)

[TimT]

Escape artist

[TimT]

I'm very pleased Australia's own Mad Katter is getting the attention he deserves. In one election he had a campaign ad featuring (rather decent) bush poetry. Here it is, along with a few poetic revisions I wrote about the event.

[Clam]

his self-portrait-done-from-the-wrong-side-of-the-canvas-using-a-mirror is more impressive than yours.

Okay, you win this time.

[David]

Morning, all.

This is what The Other Half wants for Christmas.

[Min]

When you’ve never held a baby before.

Lovely. But how do you get to be 49 and have never held a baby?

[David]

But how do you get to be 49 and have never held a baby?

It’s one thing to not have children of your own, but presumably these people have relatives and friends who have babies and who sometimes wave them about in search of a spare arm. I mean, I’ve held a baby on several occasions, though admittedly not with any great flair.

[lotocoti]

Today's word is segue.

Every Bob Katter presser is like that. I suspect the good people of Kennedy keep voting for him, hoping he'll one day go the full Mick Taylor on all them soft handed townies.

[David]

Every Bob Katter presser is like that.

I had to watch it several times before realising it wasn’t a mischievous edit.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

Lovely. But how do you get to be 49 and have never held a baby?

The only thing worse than holding a baby is delivering the things. I'll hold one in an emergency, but one of the things I have never understood is why new parents always think one wants to hold their baby.

Things I would rather hold than a baby include rabid weasels, live rattlesnakes, and molten magma.

Meanwhile, speaking of kids and ruining things, "sleeping Beauty" must be banned from school. Why, you might ask ?

Sarah Hall, from Newcastle, said she was disturbed by the non-consensual kissing in the classic fairytale when the prince wakes up the sleeping princess with a kiss on the lips. "I think it's a specific issue in the Sleeping Beauty story about sexual behaviour and consent," she told the Sun.

No, you silly bint, it was no more "sexual" than kissing a frog to see if it turns into a prince. These SJWs have more sexual hangups and neuroses than the Puritans.

[Charlie Suet]

Ugh. Of course the bloke who took the picture of the seal is being prissy about it possibly appearing in the Sun. Ok, their Hillsborough coverage was fairly loathsome, but as with the rubbish directed against advertisers in the Daily Mail, the focus strangely always seems to be on papers that have the 'wrong' political views.

[Pogonip]

The interesting history of business buzzwords:

https://www.theguardian.com/news/2017/nov/23/from-inboxing-to-thought-showers-how-business-bullshit-took-over

[Pogonip]

Farnsworth, you're not taking advantage of the situation. Talk to the baby. You can say any stupid thing to a baby and he'll still look at you with wide-eyed interest, at least until someone rattles a set of those big plastic keys.

[Ted S., Catskill Mtns., NY, USA]

And finally, artistically, his self-portrait-done-from-the-wrong-side-of-the-canvas-using-a-mirror is more impressive than yours.

One wonders what Norman Rockwell would have said.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

Farnsworth, you're not taking advantage of the situation.

Damn skippy, and quite deliberately, I might add. Children should be kept in holding tanks till housebroken and able to hold a rational conversation even if these days that means till they might be their mid 30s.

[David]

Via Holborn, a Twitter thread about ghastly oddments and bewildering tat found in parents’ houses. From man-on-unicycle toilet paper holders to allegedly decorative anvil collections.

[Charlie Suet]

Where can I buy a "Shakespeare head button that opens a bookcase door"? Neither ghastly nor bewildering; a must have.

[Pogonip]

My son can brag that his mom owns a Japanese white oak wooden sword, just like Miyamoto Musashi packed. Beat that, clown collectors!

(And the sword is not nearly as scary as the clowns.)

[David]

Where can I buy a “Shakespeare head button that opens a bookcase door”?

First you have to build a Bat Cave filled with crime-solving computers, speed boats and giant pennies.

[PiperPaul]

TimT's Escape artist link is EXACTLY like that scene in Terminator 2, isn't it?

[Tom]

...giant pennies.

Very careful spelling required there, or it might be an entirely different version of Batman than I'm used to seeing.

[Captain Nemo]

This is what The Other Half wants for Christmas.

That's seriously impressive. Personally I think you should give him one.

[Pogonip]

There were giant pennies in the Batcave? I'll have to go back and look.

[PiperPaul]

"First you have to build a Bat Cave"

And all the gadgets have to be labelled.

[Black Ball]

Bob Katter is as mad as a cut snake. Further news from Down Under sees former Prime Minister Tony Abbott's father pass away at the age of 93. Didn't stop some from insulting him.
http://www.theunshackled.net/rundown/leftist-trolls-insult-tony-abbott-about-fathers-death/

[David]

That’s seriously impressive. Personally I think you should give him one.

Or I could just get him one of these.

[Darleen]

Residents of Vladivostok, in far eastern Russia, woke Friday morning to snow-covered roads

Today's high here in SoCal will be 87F/31C, down from yesterday's 95F/35C.

[David]

Today’s high here in SoCal will be 87F/31C, down from yesterday’s 95F/35C.

This morning I slipped, briefly, on the first ice of the year. I remained upright, more or less, if not entirely dignified.

#PersonalDrama

[Darleen]

I have never understood is why new parents always think one wants to hold their baby.

Well, any time a co-worker shows up with their new baby for the first time at my work, you need to step aside rather than be crushed by the mob of women rushing to have a turn at holding the infant.

[Pogonip]

Mine too! And I'm right in there cooing with the rest of them.

In other news, I knew my plants were conspiring against me!

https://www.wired.com/2013/12/secret-language-of-plants/

[David]

crushed by the mob of women rushing to have a turn at holding the infant.

Well, for me at least, there’s a certain novelty. I don’t generally spend much time around babies. And provided they don’t eject fluids onto you, or emit terrible smells, or howl, or wriggle too much, they can be entertaining. Though probably for no more than a minute at a time.

#ParentingSkills

[Jonathan]

It's important to have a quiet hotel room, don't you think?

http://twitter.com/HongKongBee/status/932955850406117378

[Darleen]

Twitter thread about ghastly oddments and bewildering tat found in parents’ houses.

I just spent way too much time scrolling through that... SO awesome!!!

My mom & grandma were never into collecting kitsch, so no real oddities at mom's. But it is also a warning to me to take another look at some of the stuff I have as not to give my daughters room to snicker.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

Well, any time a co-worker shows up with their new baby for the first time at my work...

Don't get me started on bringing infants to work, that should be grounds for instant termination.

And provided they don’t eject fluids onto you, or emit terrible smells, or howl, or wriggle too much...

It is a given they are going to do that, which is why one should always be prepared (in order of best COA) to:

a) not hold the thing to begin with - hacking, coughing, and sneezing are good subterfuges to avoid the problem;

b) instantly lateral it to another sucker;

c) always carry sedatives in appropriate doses based on weight of the thing - or for yourself.

[Pogonip]

Good heavens, Farnsworth, don't be so misanthropic (misbabythropic?).

I am pleased to report that I was never squirted once while changing a diaper. The trick is to hold a reserve diaper, ready to put over the little hoser's--er, hose, at the first twitch.

Small appliance report: more successful toast!

[Pogonip]

I read the hotel tweet. Either "James Madison" is in the wrong thread, or I didn't read far enough.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

Good heavens, Farnsworth, don't be so misanthropic (misbabythropic?).

Sorry, I suppose in the dark ages it was a good thing to pass a baby around so it could be exposed to no end of now readily preventable diseases so as to build its immune system, but long ago I got tired of people shoving them at me, and me, for the sake of good order and discipline, being forced to pretend to like it.

If I get a new carburetor, which takes a lot more effort and ingenuity to make than an infant (and a lot more useful), it is not as if I would take it to work and make everyone hold and bill and coo over it. Well, maybe a few gearhead buddies, but not everyone in the tri-county area.

#getoffmylawnyoudamnkids

[Jonathan]

I read the hotel tweet.

It's slightly weird and out of place but I just thought the OP was quite funny - although he seems to be a leftist git.

[Darleen]

Reading the last few comments from Farnsworth, I keep hearing this.

[David]

Heh.

[Squires]

there’s a certain novelty.

One of my uncles is a master at entertaining infants that have been handed to him. Swooping, alley-ooping, various tricks of centrifugal force - and then the true master-stroke of handing them back right before they go from giggling with glee to vomiting.

[Farnsworth M. Muldoon]

I keep hearing this.

Substitute infants for woman, and human for man, and you've about got it, besides, most of the ones that people tried to foist on me are now millennials, and look where that got us.

[Pogonip]

I don't care what Farnsworth says, babies are cool! I should know--I used to be one. But I promise to hold his carburetor and coo at it if he brings it in. Equal time, that's my motto.

[R. Sherman]

I must confess, the only babies I really cared for were my own three. Otherwise, they all seem to resemble Jimmy Hoffa to me.

[Pogonip]

Well, my kid WAS bald when he was a baby (and is going bald again), but as far as I know he did not play with gangsters.

[Pogonip]

Other people's babies are the best, even if they do resemble corrupt labor leaders. You can hand them (the babies) back when they start screaming.

This tactic does not work so well on corrupt labor leaders, which may be why the Mafia became frustrated enough to incorporate Hoffa into a freeway. (That sign that says "James R. Hoffa Freeway" ain't kidding.)

[Farnsworth M. Muldoon]

Otherwise, they all seem to resemble Jimmy Hoffa to me.

When my sister had nephew number one and showed me a picture I was obligated, of course, to comment that it was cute. She responded by saying, "You liar, they all look like Churchill."

[Pogonip]

Mine was the ugliest baby you ever saw. I wasn't sure I wanted to take him home. Fortunately in a week or two he began to look a lot like me.

[Pogonip]

What are all you Brits doing up this late?

[Trevor]

What are all you Brits doing up this late?

It's Friday night - no school in the morning!

[Farnsworth M. Muldoon]

Black Friday goes global.

[Lancastrian Oik]

What are all you Brits doing up this late?

I just tuned in for a bit of light relief when the Ashes series paused for lunch and ended up in an episode of "Everybody Loves Raymond".

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

She seems nice.

[David]

She seems nice.

Ms Morgan has a history of “woke” sentiment.

[Pogonip]

"She seems nice."

And so smart! Gentlemen, grab her and marry her before someone else does!

No small appliance report today. I've caught a cold and will probably do little but drink tea and surf disreputable sites.

See you later.

[Pogonip]

Hello Oik! My mom used to watch "Raymond."

[David]

drink tea and surf disreputable sites.

[ Wipes bar while doing best attempt at an innocent face. ]

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

Another towering intellect finds racism.

[ftumch]

"No small appliance report today."

I am about to make some toast. Wish me luck!

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

Ms Morgan has a history of “woke” sentiment.

Indeed, and she stands shoulder to shoulder with Shaun King and Rachael Dolezal as she proclaims herself "racequeer" to get a leg up in Oppression Olympics.

OK, maybe not Shaun King as he is a palepenisperson and we know what she thinks of those.

[WTP]

She responded by saying, "You liar, they all look like Churchill."

Heh...Attending a work-related pig roast when I was in my 20's a coworker had brought her first baby to the party. I'm sitting there 4-5 beers into a good buzz and she plops down next to me to show off the child. She introduces me to a months-old Laura. I says, "Looks just like Winston Churchill". For years it was like I was the only person to make this observation, though over time I feel increasingly vindicated.
Even came up in an episode of "Third Rock". Surprisingly, we're still friends. Don't see each other very often, though. When we do, or even around mutual friends, the subject does seem to work it's way into the conversation.

[Jonathan]

Ever enjoyed 'The Wizard of Oz'? Don't:

Judy Garland was 16 when she won the role of Dorothy in the MGM musical in 1938 and it was to mark both the beginning and the end of her career. The insecure teenager was by that time addicted to barbiturates and amphetamines and was on the road to alcoholism. In addition, she was routinely molested by older men including studio chiefs who considered her little more than their “property”.

It gets better:

She certainly didn’t feel safe in the MGM offices of Louis B Mayer. “In our house the word of Louis B Mayer became the law,” Garland said later. He took to groping her in his office, telling her as he put a hand on her left breast that she “sang from the heart”.

Not done yet:

Thanks to a deal struck by Mayer with her agent, a former bootlegger and pimp called Frank Orsatti, Garland was earning $500 a week. Her friend at MGM, Mickey Rooney, was on $5,000 a week. It was, as she remarked later, the beginning of the end

Are you loving Hollywood even more now? Evidently, nothing has changed for those who run it.

http://www.express.co.uk/expressyourself/167269/Dark-side-of-Oz-The-exploitation-of-Judy-Garland

[Spiny Norman]

Jonathan,

Judy's mother sounds like a nasty piece of work. Yeesh. By contrast, Shirley Temple's mother was said to have been highly protective, watching over her like a hawk.

Curiously (of maybe not so much) there was a well-known Hollywood Madam who had girls in her employ who resembled many young starlets of the day, and had them dress like the stars to make the resemblance even more striking. She later claimed her "Shirley Temple" was by far the most popular.

Twenty-odd years later, another pretty young starlet was quite shamefully exploited by her mother: Natalie Wood. She was told to, umm.. seduce the producer/director/whomever without him even having to ask, in order to get the part. IIRC, this started when she was 14.

Harvey Weinstein is nothing new, he's just more of a disgusting pig about it than his predecessors.

[Jonathan]

Harvey Weinstein is nothing new, he's just more of a disgusting pig about it than his predecessors.

I love a good movie as much as anyone, but it's incredible how politicians and the public fawn over scum like that.

[Jonathan]

Spam, Spam, Spam Spam.......

http://twitter.com/CharelsCD/status/934102054158471169

In Japan!

[Black Ball]

http://www.msn.com/en-au/lifestyle/familyandrelationships/perth-mother-asked-to-pay-dollar100-for-10-week-old-baby-to-attend-paul-kelly-concert/ar-BBFCemK?li=AA2FZ8I&ocid=ientp
Farnsworth your input would be most appreciated here, it is in regards to a baby.

[Farnsworth M. Muldoon]

Spam, Spam, Spam Spam.......

The picture on the can is Spam musubi, a great favorite in Hawaii where there are almost entire supermarket aisles dedicated to it, and in a variety of flavors.

A proper Spam musubi made with Spam marinated in teriyaki overnight is quite tasty, and the things are a handy snack to take with while boating, hiking, or whatever.

Properly made Spam musubi.

[Farnsworth M. Muldoon]

Farnsworth your input would be most appreciated here, it is in regards to a baby.

I think it is the beginning of a great idea - anyone who brings one to an adult concert, or any restaurant, airplane, theatre, or similar establishment should be charged am exorbitant security deposit.

If the brat cries, poops, or has any other activity or bodily function that disturbs a human patron, there will be no refund. If it is quiet and doesn't disturb the other patrons, a 50% refund of the deposit will be given. The same will apply to anyone using a phone unless it can be shown the call or text was of a true emergency nature.

Aircraft, in addition, will be laid out per this diagram.

[Jonathan]

A proper Spam musubi made with Spam marinated in teriyaki overnight is quite tasty

Savoury deliciousness!

[Pogonip]

Farnsworth, what do you do, just marinate it in the teriyaki, fry it, make a rice sandwich out of it, then wrap it in nori? Or is there something else I can't see? I like Spam and I like rice and I'd like to try it.

[Pogonip]

Also, regarding Farnsworth's anti-baby scheme--does he get charged if he farts? Fair's fair.

[Pogonip]

I went over to Amazon to see if I could try any of those Spam flavors (no, too expensive), and found you can choose from several different models of Spam musubi maker. There's a whole secret Spam world out there!

[Jonathan]

There's a whole secret Spam world out there!

Ruled over by a wicked Spam Queen?

[Pogonip]

Aw, shit, I'm busted.

[Farnsworth M. Muldoon]

Farnsworth, what do you do, just marinate it in the teriyaki, fry it, make a rice sandwich out of it, then wrap it in nori?

Pretty much, to do it properly you need a musubi press and some furikake, and sushi rice, all of which can be purchased using David's Amazon link. you can use regular rice if you cook it on the sticky side (shusi rice is shorter grained and stickier).

Marinate sliced Spam (flavor of your choice), fry to desired crispiness. Moisten a piece of nori about 2/3 the width of a Spam slice and long enough to wrap around the thing. Place the nori on a flat surface, place the press centered about 1/3 the length of it. Add the rice and press. Sprinkle furikake on the rice to taste, place Spam on top, remove press and wrap nori over the Spam.

Eat straight away, or wrap in Saran wrap for later. They freeze well too.

Also, regarding Farnsworth's anti-baby scheme--does he get charged if he farts?

Of course the baby would be charged. If you mean me, any adult not in possession of a physician's note with a valid diagnosis of a gastrointestinal disorder that makes farting unavoidable should be fined on the spot.

[Pogonip]

From the wonderful world of small appliances:

https://whatscookingamerica.net/History/Spam.htm

[Pogonip]

We have everything but the Spam and the musubi press. Next time I make rice, I'll buy a can of Spam and give it a try. Without the press. I'll just smush it down good.

(I live near a large Air Farce base, so Asian groceries are ten to the block here. Thus the furikake, which is also good to season hamburgers, salmon patties, and deviled eggs.)

[Farnsworth M. Muldoon]

We have everything but the Spam and the musubi press.

You can cut the bottom off the Spam can and use it for a press, it is important to pack the rice firmly so the thing doesn't fall apart. Also the Asian groceries might have them, our local Korean one did.

[Pogonip]

They probably do, and if I REALLY like Spam musubi I may even buy one.

[pst314]

Another towering intellect finds racism.

Don't tell that Sooper-Jeenius about black light, black holes, or black body radiation. Also do not mention dark matter, dark energy, brown dwarfs, red dwarfs and white dwarfs.

[Geezer]

In keeping with the classy and educational nature of this joint, I offer this. See also the comments.

[pst314]

More super-woke post-modern black "scholarship" from, not surprisingly, a "studies" professor:

https://www.upress.umn.edu/book-division/books/physics-of-blackness

Physics of Blackness
Beyond the Middle Passage Epistemology
2015
Author: Michelle M. Wright

Reveals how assumptions we make about time and space inhibit more inclusive definitions of Blackness

What does it mean to be Black? If Blackness is not biological in origin but socially and discursively constructed, does the meaning of Blackness change over time and space? In Physics of Blackness: Beyond the Middle Passage Epistemology, Michelle M. Wright argues that although we often explicitly define Blackness as a “what,” it in fact always operates as a “when” and a “where.”

Review

"Opening up the middle passage, and working with and across narratives by thinkers such as Paul Gilroy, Ama Ata Aidoo, and James Baldwin, Physics of Blackness asks that we think through the time and space of the diaspora in order to notice that blackness is continually updating itself."—Katherine McKittrick, author of Demonic Grounds

"An unorthodox and highly engaging study by a scholar unrestrained by the conventions of the field. Michelle M. Wright advances a penetrating, stimulating, and immensely rewarding contribution for those that rise to the challenge."—Stephen Small, UC Berkeley

Amazon reviews:

https://www.amazon.com/Physics-Blackness-Beyond-Passage-Epistemology/dp/0816687307/

"By defining blackness against the limitations of [linear progress narratives], Wright expands our senses of temporality and even of physics."—KronoScope

"Its appeal to philosophical, literary, cultural and diasporic studies is apparent; but while contributing significantly to, and grounded in, the humanities, Physics of Blackness is not restricted to it. Its redeployment of analytical categories informs an innovative, interdisciplinary approach that necessarily reinvigorates and enhances generally academic and societally transformative pursuits for future oriented, inclusive and nonhierarchical understandings of not just black, but all,racial(ised) ontologies."—Transnational Literature

About the Author

Michelle M. Wright is associate professor of Black European and African Diaspora studies at Northwestern University. She is the author of Becoming Black: Creating Identity in the African Diaspora.

Biography
. . .
Michelle M Wright is currently Professor of African American Studies and Comparative Literary Studies at Northwestern University in Evanston, Illinois. She is the author of Becoming Black: Creating Identity in the African Diaspora (Duke UP 2004), co-editor of The Black German Experience, a special issue of the journal Callaloo with Tina Campt (2003); co-editor with Faith Wilding and Maria Fernandez of the anthology Domain Errors: A Cyberfeminist Handbook (Autonomedia Press, 2003) and Blackness and Sexualities, co-edited with Antje Schulman (Lit Verlag Berlin, 2006). Physics of Blackness: Beyond the Middle Passage Epistemology, is her most recent book (UMN Press, 2015).

[Pogonip]

Is Ama Ata Adoo a pseudonym?

[Farnsworth M. Muldoon]

Is Ama Ata Adoo a pseudonym?

Not according to Ghana Web, unless you count the first name change.

[Hal]

"First you have to build a Bat Cave"

And all the gadgets have to be labelled.

Oh. Belated followup, since nobody actually explained that penny . . .

[Pogonip]

I still don't remember seeing the Giant Penny on the show.

[Hal]

I still don't remember seeing the Giant Penny on the show.

On the show.

As opposed to the actual.

[Hal]

Code brown and hairy.

Oh II. Thanks to the comments, and speaking of small editions of Winston Churchill, I've now found out about some show with Derek Jacobi.

[Pogonip]

Well, after liberal application of the world's unsexiest perfume, Eau de Vicks, and a day wearing a warm granny gown and making frequent honking noises a la Jack Lemmon in The Odd Couple, I seem to have induced the cold germs to flee, possibly in search of a supermodel. If there's a small appliance report tomorrow, though, it'll probably be the toaster, so any musubi makers are encouraged to musube like mad to keep the small appliance fans satiated.

[pst314]

making frequent honking noises a la Jack Lemmon in The Odd Couple

That bad, eh? Ouch.

If there's a small appliance report tomorrow, though, it'll probably be the toaster

Is it a Brave Little Toaster?

[Pogonip]

Not really. Every time the tea kettle whistles, it starts barking and whining.

[David]

Especially for Londoners, a riposte of note.

[Jonathan]

..a riposte of note.

Uh-oh!

[Hal]

"First you have to build a Bat Cave"

[Daniel Ream]

Uh-oh!

That's...Judge Dredd.

Apparently the Brits are taking their Internet virtue signaling really seriously now.

[Captain Nemo]

Or I could just get him one of these.

That's also quite good.