They’ve really got their finger on the nation’s pulse.
It does rather capture a mindset. One that will be all too familiar to some readers, and which is increasingly difficult to parody.
The framing of the Tweet, which is tellingly oblivious, is slightly more absurd than the programme content; but even so, the issues of supposedly pressing concern are, shall we say, somewhat removed from the lives of most of the taxpayers who are extorted to fund the BBC. And for someone to struggle to find some way, any way, in which Venezuela can be considered exemplary, if you squint, does suggest an attitude that one might call perverse.
"This is your brain, This is your brain on Corbyn"
BTW, my amanuenses, Connie and Bonnie, have authorized the accountants, as it is Boxing Day, to fire you off something slightly nicer than a rock or something. Look for a manila envelope under the stoop.
I don't know if I got this here, if so I apologize for being late to the game. But a tattoo parlor is giving 25% off to customers of color, in order to diversify ... Tattoos. Ask me, I think it's just a new way to separate a fool and his money.
According to the store owner, the tattoo business is “flooded” with white people, and people of color-other-than-white have a hard time getting what they want. Even NPR did a story on this.
Interesting how in Alabama the bestiality lobby could afford a governor and the sheep-farming lobby couldn’t.
I see it it laugh at the South day, but notice you failed to note your link says necrophila is apparently still OK in progressive Massachusetts.
I also wouldn't recommend taking your sheep down there to shag as the anti-bestiality law in Alabama passed without signature of the governor, Alabama being a state that does not require the governor to sign. The Governor did not veto it.
Closer culturally, Cleavland and Toledo excepted, than those northeast necrophiliacs, and bestiality is also illegal in Ohio. Fact checking is hard for Listverse, I guess.
David, Farnsworth’s miffed that I didn’t highlight Massachusetts; that was because I couldn’t think of a good necrophilia joke. The field of necrophilia-related humor is pretty dead these days. Anyway, assign a henchlesbian or two to keep an eye on him till he calms down and stops throwing the good chairs, will you?
I told you nobody would pay attention to that FOR THROWING sign on the wall above the collection of junky chairs. That one guy who did read the sign left in a huff when he couldn’t figure out how to throw the wall.
Listverse makes mistakes? I am shocked. Shocked, I tell you!
As a former resident of Clumbus Ahia, home of THE Ohio State University, I am pleased to set the record straight. Ohio did finally get around to outlawing bestiality in the spring of 2017.
Every time a radio or TV announcer refers to “Ohio State University,” they’ll get a call from the college’s publicist reminding them it’s “THE Ohio State University.” It’s a running joke in the area.
...he calms down and stops throwing the good chairs...
We are far too refined south of the Line of Mason and Dixon to throw chairs, dueling, unfortunately, is illegal, and there is not enough room in here to settle this with a lawnmower race. If I wanted to get even, I'd offer you a pickled egg.
The strangest thing just happened. There I was, sitting playing Hidden Objects, and lo, an angel appeared. I held out the phone and said, “Hey, can you find the gray toilet? I can’t.” The angel said, “ In this beautiful world the Lord made for his children, can you find nothing more constructive to do than look for a phantom toilet on a glowing screen?” “Nope, not really,” I said. Thunder boomed and the angel waved his sword and said “Very well! I sentence you to do something even LESS constructive!”
Nobody said anything about this, but I thought it was rather odd to see Venezuela come up in the middle of Fine Arts bloviation. Does this happen often in Great Britain?
the tattoo business is “flooded” with white people, and people of color-other-than-white have a hard time getting what they want.
Well, yes, insomuch as what most people want from a tattoo parlour is a tattoo that can be seen from more than 6 inches away and no one has yet invented opaque, brightly coloured tattoo ink.
My grandfather was drafted into WW I (which fortunately ended a few weeks later). While in the service, he got drunk for the only time in his life and got a tattoo of an anchor. 50 years later, he had a blob. That ink shifts and fades over time.
"people of color-other-than-white have a hard time getting what they want. Even NPR did a story on this."
I'm sure the market will sort this out.
"Oshun Afrique is getting her 35th tattoo..."
I am not surprised that someone with a name like that is profiled in the NPR piece. Perhaps NPR can next do a profile of someone who only gets tattoos featuring German themes, ja?
"When it comes to beastiality, our Muslim friends have it down:"
Particularly charming is the ruling that although the animal victim must be slaughtered its flesh may be sold to someone who does not live in the same village. It's rulings like these that cause one to wonder how much glue Khomeini sniffed while in France.
Tried to remember the Billy Fish quote (Man Who Would Be King); something like "They are always pissing down the river when our women are bathing!"
Google fu time:
Billy: Ootah say take your pick. He have twenty three daughters.
Dravot: Those are his daughters? Why the dirty old beggar!
Carnehan: Now, now Danny. Different countries, different ways. He's only being hospitable according to his lights. Billy, tell him one's as pretty as the next and we cannot choose.
[Billy translates; Ootah replies in Kafiri]
Billy: Ootah say he also have twenty sons if you be liking boys.
Carnehan [angrily]: Tell him he makes my gorge rise; tell him!
Dravot: Now Peachy, different countries, different ways. [To Billy] Tell Ootah we have vowed not to take a woman until all his enemies are vanquished.
I know a bloke who once went on tour with a ballet company as a stage hand. Resolutely hetero, his novelty status meant he spent more time ticking boxes and filling niches than humping sets.
If your attempt at a work of art has to be labelled, by yourself, in enormous letters, as “a work of art,” I’m inclined to think the attempt has failed.
I've read that last sentence 4 times and am still confused.
When one of our American friends declare they are rooting for [insert cause/team/politician here], separated by a common language comes to mind.
lotocoti, it wasn't the "humping sets" bit that confused me, if that's what your last implied. Hell, I've been well paid (for which read: poorly paid) to hump furniture, firewood, and books.
Much as I dislike watching video on this device, I suppose I'll have to look at the Wilder linked above. (Shakes head at sad state of education in U.S.)
grandfather was drafted into WW I (which fortunately ended a few weeks later). While in the service, he got drunk for the only time in his life and got a tattoo of an anchor. 50 years later, he had a blob. That ink shifts and fades over time.
with rime, dolphins become whales and unicorns become rhinoceros
"what British schools can learn from Venezuala."
How to spell "Venezuela"?
Posted by: Alice | December 26, 2017 at 10:33
diversity in ballet
They've really got their finger on the nation's pulse.
Posted by: Rafi | December 26, 2017 at 10:42
They’ve really got their finger on the nation’s pulse.
It does rather capture a mindset. One that will be all too familiar to some readers, and which is increasingly difficult to parody.
The framing of the Tweet, which is tellingly oblivious, is slightly more absurd than the programme content; but even so, the issues of supposedly pressing concern are, shall we say, somewhat removed from the lives of most of the taxpayers who are extorted to fund the BBC. And for someone to struggle to find some way, any way, in which Venezuela can be considered exemplary, if you squint, does suggest an attitude that one might call perverse.
Posted by: David | December 26, 2017 at 10:47
Well providing British schools treat Venezuela as a "How not to" example, we should be fine.
Posted by: Fruitbat44 | December 26, 2017 at 11:23
http://www.tvlicensing.co.uk/check-if-you-need-one/topics/cancellations-and-refunds-top7
Posted by: [+] | December 26, 2017 at 11:43
Well providing British schools treat Venezuela as a "How not to" example, we should be fine.
I'm sure that's the intent.
But the lesson won't be "Socialism fails again, as it always does, leading to unimaginable human suffering."
It will be, "We'll do Socialism right when we're in charge. Because we're so much smarter."
Posted by: Burnsie | December 26, 2017 at 11:58
What they can learn, eh ?
"This is your brain, This is your brain on Corbyn"
BTW, my amanuenses, Connie and Bonnie, have authorized the accountants, as it is Boxing Day, to fire you off something slightly nicer than a rock or something. Look for a manila envelope under the stoop.
Posted by: Farnsworth M Muldoon | December 26, 2017 at 12:02
Look for a manila envelope under the stoop.
May your car’s glove compartment never be bereft of wine gums or lemon-scented antibacterial hand wipes.
Posted by: David | December 26, 2017 at 12:28
...what British schools can learn from Venezuala.
Well...
Posted by: Spiny Norman | December 26, 2017 at 15:43
I don't know if I got this here, if so I apologize for being late to the game. But a tattoo parlor is giving 25% off to customers of color, in order to diversify ... Tattoos. Ask me, I think it's just a new way to separate a fool and his money.
Posted by: Dom | December 26, 2017 at 15:48
"...a tattoo parlor is giving 25% off to customers of color, in order to diversify..."
Wut? Plenty of "persons of color" get tattoos.
Posted by: pst314 | December 26, 2017 at 16:01
Is Venezuala where socialism works?
Posted by: aelfheld | December 26, 2017 at 17:25
“Wut? Plenty of "persons of color" get tattoos.”
According to the store owner, the tattoo business is “flooded” with white people, and people of color-other-than-white have a hard time getting what they want. Even NPR did a story on this.
This will put tears in your eyes: https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2016/12/01/503014301/for-tattoo-artists-race-is-in-the-mix-when-ink-meets-skin
Posted by: Dom | December 26, 2017 at 17:42
Ohio and Alabama: where men are men and sheep are nervous. See item 4.
http://listverse.com/2017/12/26/10-horrific-acts-that-are-legal-in-some-countries/
Interesting how in Alabama the bestiality lobby could afford a governor and the sheep-farming lobby couldn’t.
Posted by: Pogonip | December 26, 2017 at 18:05
Interesting how in Alabama the bestiality lobby could afford a governor and the sheep-farming lobby couldn’t.
I see it it laugh at the South day, but notice you failed to note your link says necrophila is apparently still OK in progressive Massachusetts.
I also wouldn't recommend taking your sheep down there to shag as the anti-bestiality law in Alabama passed without signature of the governor, Alabama being a state that does not require the governor to sign. The Governor did not veto it.
Posted by: Farnsworth M Muldoon | December 26, 2017 at 18:31
Ohio’s in the South?
Posted by: Pogonip | December 26, 2017 at 18:33
Interesting how in Alabama the bestiality lobby could afford a governor and the sheep-farming lobby couldn’t.
I learn so much from these threads.
Posted by: David | December 26, 2017 at 18:41
Yes.*
(*Based solely on past performance.)
Posted by: SumDumGuy | December 26, 2017 at 19:28
Ohio’s in the South?
Closer culturally, Cleavland and Toledo excepted, than those northeast necrophiliacs, and bestiality is also illegal in Ohio. Fact checking is hard for Listverse, I guess.
Posted by: Farnsworth M. Muldoon | December 26, 2017 at 19:35
David, Farnsworth’s miffed that I didn’t highlight Massachusetts; that was because I couldn’t think of a good necrophilia joke. The field of necrophilia-related humor is pretty dead these days. Anyway, assign a henchlesbian or two to keep an eye on him till he calms down and stops throwing the good chairs, will you?
I told you nobody would pay attention to that FOR THROWING sign on the wall above the collection of junky chairs. That one guy who did read the sign left in a huff when he couldn’t figure out how to throw the wall.
Posted by: Pogonip | December 26, 2017 at 19:40
Any breakages go on the tab.
[ Hides brand-name spirits. ]
Posted by: David | December 26, 2017 at 20:01
Listverse makes mistakes? I am shocked. Shocked, I tell you!
As a former resident of Clumbus Ahia, home of THE Ohio State University, I am pleased to set the record straight. Ohio did finally get around to outlawing bestiality in the spring of 2017.
Now put that chair down.
Posted by: Pogonip | December 26, 2017 at 20:34
Every time a radio or TV announcer refers to “Ohio State University,” they’ll get a call from the college’s publicist reminding them it’s “THE Ohio State University.” It’s a running joke in the area.
Posted by: Pogonip | December 26, 2017 at 20:37
...he calms down and stops throwing the good chairs...
We are far too refined south of the Line of Mason and Dixon to throw chairs, dueling, unfortunately, is illegal, and there is not enough room in here to settle this with a lawnmower race. If I wanted to get even, I'd offer you a pickled egg.
Posted by: Farnsworth M. Muldoon | December 26, 2017 at 21:05
There’s always enough room for lawnmower races!
Posted by: Pogonip | December 26, 2017 at 21:36
The strangest thing just happened. There I was, sitting playing Hidden Objects, and lo, an angel appeared. I held out the phone and said, “Hey, can you find the gray toilet? I can’t.” The angel said, “ In this beautiful world the Lord made for his children, can you find nothing more constructive to do than look for a phantom toilet on a glowing screen?” “Nope, not really,” I said. Thunder boomed and the angel waved his sword and said “Very well! I sentence you to do something even LESS constructive!”
And suddenly here I was.
Posted by: Pogonip | December 26, 2017 at 21:42
And for someone to struggle to find some way, any way, in which Venezuela can be considered exemplary,...
I would say Venezuela is exemplary, in a cautionary fashion.
Not that I expect Ms. Rojo meant quite that.
Posted by: WKrebs | December 26, 2017 at 21:49
Sweet Pogonip, did you perhaps treat that cough with something, Ah, interesting?
Or have you been at David's sherry again?
Posted by: Jeff Wood | December 26, 2017 at 21:53
Nobody said anything about this, but I thought it was rather odd to see Venezuela come up in the middle of Fine Arts bloviation. Does this happen often in Great Britain?
Posted by: WKrebs | December 26, 2017 at 21:56
I think the Venezuelan lawnmower races are popular over there in Great Britain.
Posted by: Pogonip | December 26, 2017 at 22:06
When it comes to beastiality, our Muslim friends have it down:
https://twitter.com/Abu_Corbyn/status/945757233584988165
Posted by: ftumch | December 26, 2017 at 22:41
Behold:
. . . . . I don't remember this Monty Python sketch. Was there another reunion I missed?
---I can even see John Cleese in a wig and a tutu doing the part of the ballet director.
Posted by: Hal | December 26, 2017 at 22:52
the tattoo business is “flooded” with white people, and people of color-other-than-white have a hard time getting what they want.
Well, yes, insomuch as what most people want from a tattoo parlour is a tattoo that can be seen from more than 6 inches away and no one has yet invented opaque, brightly coloured tattoo ink.
Posted by: Daniel Ream | December 26, 2017 at 22:55
ftumch: That guy’s not from Ohio or Alabama, is he?
Posted by: Pogonip | December 26, 2017 at 23:14
My grandfather was drafted into WW I (which fortunately ended a few weeks later). While in the service, he got drunk for the only time in his life and got a tattoo of an anchor. 50 years later, he had a blob. That ink shifts and fades over time.
Posted by: Pogonip | December 26, 2017 at 23:19
Pogonip: the chap quoted is called Khomeini. I believe he was from Teheran, and, as I understand you Mercan types, refer to as "back east"
Posted by: ftumch | December 26, 2017 at 23:29
Added: I do like the fact that it's ok to have sexy fun times with a goat, but then slaughter the beast and sell it to people from the next village.
Posted by: ftumch | December 26, 2017 at 23:30
"Artists deserve respect"
https://twitter.com/Amish_Frog_Guy/status/945796091265478656
Posted by: ftumch | December 27, 2017 at 00:02
"people of color-other-than-white have a hard time getting what they want. Even NPR did a story on this."
I'm sure the market will sort this out.
"Oshun Afrique is getting her 35th tattoo..."
I am not surprised that someone with a name like that is profiled in the NPR piece. Perhaps NPR can next do a profile of someone who only gets tattoos featuring German themes, ja?
Posted by: pst314 | December 27, 2017 at 00:07
"When it comes to beastiality, our Muslim friends have it down:"
Particularly charming is the ruling that although the animal victim must be slaughtered its flesh may be sold to someone who does not live in the same village. It's rulings like these that cause one to wonder how much glue Khomeini sniffed while in France.
Posted by: pst314 | December 27, 2017 at 00:16
Tried to remember the Billy Fish quote (Man Who Would Be King); something like "They are always pissing down the river when our women are bathing!"
Google fu time:
Billy: Ootah say take your pick. He have twenty three daughters.
Dravot: Those are his daughters? Why the dirty old beggar!
Carnehan: Now, now Danny. Different countries, different ways. He's only being hospitable according to his lights. Billy, tell him one's as pretty as the next and we cannot choose.
[Billy translates; Ootah replies in Kafiri]
Billy: Ootah say he also have twenty sons if you be liking boys.
Carnehan [angrily]: Tell him he makes my gorge rise; tell him!
Dravot: Now Peachy, different countries, different ways. [To Billy] Tell Ootah we have vowed not to take a woman until all his enemies are vanquished.
Posted by: ftumch | December 27, 2017 at 01:15
*sniff* I miss the Empire.
Posted by: ftumch | December 27, 2017 at 01:16
diversity in ballet
I know a bloke who once went on tour with a ballet company as a stage hand. Resolutely hetero, his novelty status meant he spent more time ticking boxes and filling niches than humping sets.
Posted by: lotocoti | December 27, 2017 at 01:27
lotocoti, I've read that last sentence 4 times and am still confused. Or, as Simon Tam noted, perhaps you are confused...
Posted by: Fred the Fourth | December 27, 2017 at 05:46
Oh, I think it was innuendo. Not bad innuendo at that.
Posted by: Surreptitious Evil | December 27, 2017 at 06:44
lotocoti, I've read that last sentence 4 times and am still confused.
Here, see if Billy Wilder can help you with the subtleties . . . .
Posted by: Hal | December 27, 2017 at 07:16
Ftumch, "Man Who Would Be King"; are you a graduate of Ohio State University?
Posted by: Nemo | December 27, 2017 at 11:23
That’s “THE Ohio State University.” 😄
Posted by: Pogonip | December 27, 2017 at 12:38
“filling niches“
Is that what they call it nowadays?
Posted by: Pst314 | December 27, 2017 at 13:07
Who's up for some awareness-raising art?
Posted by: Turk Turkleton | December 27, 2017 at 13:14
Who’s up for some awareness-raising art?
If your attempt at a work of art has to be labelled, by yourself, in enormous letters, as “a work of art,” I’m inclined to think the attempt has failed.
Posted by: David | December 27, 2017 at 13:24
I’m inclined to think the attempt has failed.
If she gets extra credit from her Wymyns Studies prof, it's all good.
Posted by: Spiny Norman | December 27, 2017 at 15:44
Maybe David should paint THIS IS A BAR in big letters on the front door?
Posted by: Pogonip | December 27, 2017 at 22:39
I've read that last sentence 4 times and am still confused.
When one of our American friends declare they are rooting for [insert cause/team/politician here], separated by a common language comes to mind.
Posted by: lotocoti | December 27, 2017 at 22:54
lotocoti, it wasn't the "humping sets" bit that confused me, if that's what your last implied. Hell, I've been well paid (for which read: poorly paid) to hump furniture, firewood, and books.
Much as I dislike watching video on this device, I suppose I'll have to look at the Wilder linked above. (Shakes head at sad state of education in U.S.)
Posted by: Fred the Fourth | December 28, 2017 at 07:23
grandfather was drafted into WW I (which fortunately ended a few weeks later). While in the service, he got drunk for the only time in his life and got a tattoo of an anchor. 50 years later, he had a blob. That ink shifts and fades over time.
with rime, dolphins become whales and unicorns become rhinoceros
Posted by: William | December 30, 2017 at 01:19
Ooooohhhh, what a pretty cascade of italics . . . .
Posted by: Hal | December 30, 2017 at 04:34
Soooooo, lessee, does that fix things?
Posted by: Hal | December 30, 2017 at 04:35
No? Ah well, David'll be up in a bit . . . .
Posted by: Hal | December 30, 2017 at 04:36
Oh, Dear, that took two fixes.
At least the second one took.
Posted by: Hal | December 30, 2017 at 04:40