She’ll Ruin The Leather

It’s once again time to hack our way through the deep artistic underbrush of Sandrine Schaefer. Specifically, her 2012 performance piece Ambulation, shared below in sadly abbreviated form, and in which Ms Schaefer presents her buttocks to the world and shifts her weight from heel to toe, while her shoes emit the sounds of her “travels in Mexico.”

Hey, I’m just reading what it says here. 

Apparently, the sounds coming from her footwear are “a reward for the curious witnesses that neared her body.”

No, don’t thank me. You’ve earned it.

Comments

[PiperPaul]

With just a little bit more effort...

Slacker.

[The Sage]

Fortunately, given that pose, there is enough concealment and shadow that we don't get to see that sort of underbrush

[David]

Heathens, the lot of you.

It’s a luminescent work. Powerful and magnetic.

[Lab Rat]

Seriously??? This is art?

I'm pretty sure some drunken bum has done more creative things for the world to see, and didn't even charge admission.

And of course right after the thanks given for NOT seeing "underbrush" - up goes a picture my eyes cannot unsee. GAHH!

Ye gods, David, where do you find this stuff??? I salute you for combing through this rubbish so we don't have to.

[dcardno]

No, don’t thank me. You’ve earned it.

Good Lord forgive me if I've ever done anything to earn that

[aelfheld]

No, don’t thank me. You’ve earned it.

You shouldn't have.

Really.

[champ]

This was a reward for the curious witnesses that neared my body to listen to the intricacies of the sounds.

I thought the best part of the "performance" was the first minute, where she did nothing (after that, it went downhill quickly)

[Sam Duncan]

All I'm saying is that there are several videos on the internet which, on paper, would seem to be almost identical, but are in fact immeasurably more entertaining. (And, frankly, educational, some of 'em.)

[David]

All I’m saying is that there are several videos on the internet which, on paper, would seem to be almost identical,

Ah, but I doubt those ladies have the sounds of Mexico coming out of their shoes.

[Fred the Fourth]

So the video still preview comes up, and it's not looking promising. The time-to-play reads 2:39.
I put the tablet down and go pour a fresh cup of morning coffee for my wife, already in the middle of her morning con-call.
Time to get the car warmed up.

[WTP]

Anyone know (no, I'm not going spelunking in there, I'm at work) if this "work" was taxpayer funded in any way? Seeing as this is from the US (yes I did look that far), and don't know if this is the case, shouldn't such funding be required to be stated up front in an obvious manner? Software written for the government, such funded by taxpayer dollars, is explicitly marked as such. Why should "art" be any different.

[David]

Anyone know… if this “work” was taxpayer funded in any way?

It was, um, performed at the Grace Exhibition Space in Brooklyn, which is supported by the Brooklyn Arts Council, which in turn is funded by the National Endowment for the Arts, New York State Council on the Arts, New York City Department of Cultural Affairs, and umpteen other publicly-funded bodies.

[champ]

which in turn is funded by the National Endowment for the Arts, New York State Council on the Arts, New York City Department of Cultural Affairs, and umpteen other publicly-funded bodies.

Tax dollars well spent/NOT

[WTP]

We are not helpless to stop the funding of the senseless proliferation of crappy art like this amongst those who have no meaningful purpose nor talent. We must begin — today, right now, this minute — taking performance and other assault art out of the hands of women (and men, but especially FWISH, women) who have essentially weaponized it.

That won’t be enough to end the proliferation of all of the unsightly and pointless crap like this, but it will spare some eyes. It is admirable that bloggers and such are deeply horrified by what goes on in art studios, exhibition spaces, etc. But the moment calls for action, not words, and politicians who are too craven or stupid or ideologically rigid to finally stop funding this crap are responsible for this ongoing waste of money, and yes cultural terror.

(Adapted from a recent rant I sent to my wife and SIL regarding a story about yoga pants and the open brandishing of such by certain unqualified females. Other people have no shame, why must I?)

[pst314]

Anyone know...if this "work" was taxpayer funded in any way?

The Ministry of Silly Walks?

[Burnsie]

All that whooping and clapping at the end—-is that because it was finally over?

[David]

For those who missed them, Ms Schaefer’s previous efforts can be found here.

[Lab Rat]

For those who missed them, Ms Schaefer’s previous efforts can be found here.

I had not realized how...prolific this "artist" was until I fell down the rabbit hole of links our host so conveniently provided. Ye flipping gods.

I also made the mistake of clicking on her CV link at her website. The list of grants she's received for what she does is astounding. There's a well-padded publication list too!

[Monty James]

Lab Rat, were you one of the Atomic Nerds? That was a great blog.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

...in which Ms Schaefer presents her buttocks to the world...

In the animal world, that would be called "presenting", one can only hope there were no takers.

[ACTOldFart]

Well as I understand it, President Trump has the National Endowment for the Arts in his sights, just as soon as he has finished demolishing the FBI and the Environment Protection Authority.

Good.

[ComputerLab Rat]

Lab Rat, were you one of the Atomic Nerds? That was a great blog.

No, sadly, I have never been that cool. Nerd, yes, but blog author, no.

I chose the nickname because I am a lab rat of sorts in real life, but I think I may need to modify it somewhat so I don't get mistaken for someone else.

[David]

[ Quietly slides new snacks into view. ]

[ Wipes bar top nonchalantly. ]

[Nikw211]

The time-to-play reads 2:39.

You would think that would be long enough, wouldn't you?

But you'd be wrong - a subtitle at the end explains the actual duration was "14 minutes".

14 minutes.

14.

Minutes - not seconds - minutes.

Many people might be horrified that Schaefer managed to stretch that out to at least 28 times the duration it really required.

Some, but not me.

No, what horrifies is me is the mental image of Schaefer spending hours in various branches of Starbucks, face screwed up in intense concentration for hours and hours - hours on end - staring at a blank page of a notebook over the course of one, two, maybe even three or four days before having a 'Eureka' moment and passionately scribbling:

Performance idea! Ambulation!

Ambulation = walk; walk = Mexicans crossing borders(!) A wall!

My ass - in the air - a wall of flesh! But not like Trump's wall - this wall has an opening - a passage way - this 'wall' is an inverted 'V' for 'Victory' sign - my eyes - upside down - see the audience through the opening in my legs! I see victory - they see ... ass(!)

To me - my pussy at the apex of the 'V' for 'Victory' sign - an ironic mocking of the eye/pyramid on the dollar bill (capitalist bastards!!) ironic mocking of the Masonic compass - but this can only be seen if the audience puts themselves in my shoes(!!!)

Masonic Compass!

Compass = map; map =walk = walk = ambulation!!

That's the real performance; the real work of art.

Not that video, not even the 'happening', but Schaefer actually thinking she's actually doing something instead of someone doing something that merely looks like someone doing something that requires thought and effort - instead of just mooching around various coffee shops looking intellectual.

And then imagine her at the bar afterwards - the kind of conversations she must have which refer to all her "hard work".

I like to imagine something along these lines:

"Yeah, well, you know. It took a long, long time to germinate. You know, the idea? I just ... Man, it was tough! I have a very rigorous process and I'm really strict with myself. I have to be disciplined - you know, for my process ... "

[Monty James]

Barkeep, could you pour me and my friend ComputerLab Rat a shot to go along with that?:

[PiperPaul]

"My ass - in the air - a wall of flesh! But not like Trump's wall - this wall has an opening - a passage way"

I am reminded of Cacaphonies: Toward an Excremental Poetics from the other day. After all, there's a lot of art being metaphorically pulled out of people's asses these days.

[Daniel Ream]

Ah, but I doubt those ladies have the sounds of Mexico coming out of their shoes.

Well.

Not their shoes, anyway.

[Sam Martinez]

At least one can wash out the taste of those dodgy pickled orbs...eventually.

I cannot wash my brain, incidentally, unless I watch more of this performance, after which I need more brain bleach. It's a vicious cycle that no amount of credit notes will cure.

[ComputerLab Rat]

[Looks at new bar snacks]

[Looks at "artist" with her arse in the air and her shoes askew]

I am not sure which is more horrifying!

Bartender! A drink, please! Make it a double!

[Hurriedly fumbles cash onto the bar].

[neal]

Just don't use her as an endtable. Any surviving drinks would have a certain aroma that does not mix.

At least the black hides the arse sweat. No country for old men, or even cheap beer.

If she can bend like that, may I put her in a box and pretend to saw her in half?
Asking for a friend.

[Darleen]

OT but this is sure to work out well...

One thing, however, that we can and definitely should start doing is what M’Baku and his Que Dog Jabari tribe did when encountering a problematic white dude who was speaking when there was no ask or need or purpose for the thoughts and opinions of problematic white dudes.

Bark.

Not a purposeless bark. This isn’t a shih tzu barking through the window at a squirrel. Instead, this would be an intentional bark. A targeted bark. An overpowering bark. A drowning bark. A Wakandan bark. A bark meant to communicate, “Um, who told you that you can speak? When it is time for your words, we will let you know. And maybe that time will never come. We’ll see. Now, just shut up and stand there. Maybe get on your phone and Google ‘How not to be a colonizer.’ Whatever you do, I want to hear you not speaking.”

[Pogonip]

🧐 🐶

[Chester Draws]

And how does barking differ from booing down a speaker?

How the old can become new when done by the mystical Other!

[Jeff]

Posted by: Nikw211 | February 20, 2018 at 22:04

That was damn funny.

You deserve endless bar snacks for the rest of the week.

[Spiny Norman]

Opens David's blog page... Oh! Look! A new post!

[ clicks ]

[Spiny Norman]

Darleen,

I'm never quite sure if The Root is real black people posting stupid, arrogant rubbish, or white racists posting make-believe stupid, arrogant rubbish trying to make blacks look really stupid.

[David]

I’m never quite sure if The Root is real black people posting stupid, arrogant rubbish, or white racists posting make-believe stupid, arrogant rubbish trying to make blacks look really stupid.

It has a similar feel to Everyday Feminism. Not just in terms of neurotic identitarianism and general sourness, but in the authors’ apparent assumption that cultivating resentment and habitual self-flattery will somehow lead to happiness. There’s an air of… witless tragedy.

[David]

[ clicks ]

No refunds. Credit note only.

[bilbaoboy]

Spiny Norman

We need David to provide a Safe SpaceTM for normals. I'm triggered!!

[Pogonip]

Everyday Feminism seems to just be going through the motions these daysp

[amos]

Goddamnit, lose some weight before you do crap like that

[David]

Suzy Evans, a colleague of Ms Schaefer’s, brings to bear the full weight of her artistic talent.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

...brings to bear the full weight of her artistic talent.

Giant black power fists, deliberately held down by a featureless pink face, and following other white people in and out of a building - obviously this speaks to the continuation of people of color (but not colored people) being led in invisible chains of oppression.

I wept tears of shame.

[Trevor]

I'm never quite sure if The Root is real black people posting stupid, arrogant rubbish, or white racists posting make-believe stupid, arrogant rubbish trying to make blacks look really stupid.

Oh, Spiny Norman. It gives me no pleasure (I lie) to have to pronounce you GUILTY of the soft bigotry of low expectations. Please adjust your badthink accordingly.

[Governor Squid]

I've started calling Wakanda "Black Rivendell." Oh, how they seethe!

[PiperPaul]

"You deserve endless bar snacks for the rest of the week."

You either hate Nikw211 or are new here.

[Governor Squid]

This isn’t a shih tzu barking through the window at a squirrel. Instead, this would be an intentional bark. A targeted bark. An overpowering bark. A drowning bark. A Wakandan bark.

I hope somebody has their cell phone handy on the day when Damon Young runs into Mr. Blonde.

[Lancastrian Oik]

Sorry, but seeing that I couldn't help but be reminded of this.

"'The sweatiness of the center's butt is important,' former NFL quarterback and B/R NFL analyst Chris Simms said, somehow without giggling....."

[pst314]

Instead, this would be an intentional bark. A targeted bark. An overpowering bark.

Does he also lick himself? Is he even housetrained?

[pst314]

"Dogs bark but the caravan goes on."

[PiperPaul]

Bark.

B ark.

B Ark!