Budget cuts. || Black Panther. || Bathroom essentials. || Will hospitals give back an amputated limb if you ask for it? || Embroidered bacteria. || It’s bigger than most. || 25 days in the life of a bean. || Boneshaker race, 1928. || Swinging London, 1967. || In need of friction. || San Francisco scenes. || Something on the floor. (h/t, Obo) || This is one of these. || And this is one of those. || Because you’ve always wanted a warp speed calculator. || While you pee. || Paranormal property. (h/t, Damian) || Popping balloons. || Thoughts on ladies’ fashion, New York, 1930. || Tweet of note. (h/t, dicentra) || Teatime view of note. || Macau, China. || Mussolini’s Rome. || Scrotum adventure. || An old machine from the Seventies, now far from home, stirs. || And finally, a horrifying shark attack.
Were those stranded people in Swanage ever rescued?
Posted by: PiperPaul | March 23, 2018 at 01:18
“Bathroom essentials.”
Man, I love capitalism.
“Will hospitals give back an amputated limb if you ask for it?”
When they took my gall bladder out, I just signed the form letting them keep it. I have too much junk lying around the house as it is.
“Scrotum adventure.”
[crosses legs]
“An old machine from the Seventies, now far from home, stirs.”
See? Star Trek: The Motion Picture isn't looking so crazy now, is it?
Posted by: Sam Duncan | March 23, 2018 at 01:54
An old machine from the Seventies, now far from home, stirs.
Still kicking after all this time... they really don't make them like they used to anymore.
Posted by: Matt | March 23, 2018 at 02:20
In Need of Friction
"Brought to you by your friends at Hillsound.
Posted by: R. Sherman | March 23, 2018 at 02:44
Divine Advice.
Posted by: R. Sherman | March 23, 2018 at 03:08
Because you’ve always wanted a warp speed calculator.
Hold my calls.
Posted by: Connor | March 23, 2018 at 06:24
At warp 9.5 (TNG) getting to Alpha Centauri would take 20.2 hours.
Posted by: Connor | March 23, 2018 at 06:35
That's a bit steep.
https://twitter.com/holdmyale/status/975133124395978754
Posted by: John D | March 23, 2018 at 06:54
San Francisco scenes.
Progress!
Posted by: Jen | March 23, 2018 at 07:07
Terf fight.
Posted by: lotocoti | March 23, 2018 at 07:27
Morning, all.
At warp 9.5 (TNG) getting to Alpha Centauri would take 20.2 hours.
Given the ‘recalibration’ of warp factors between series and the endless screw-ups and inconsistencies of writers - such that I’ve seen lengthy, quite passionate arguments that Voyager should have arrived home sometime in season five - the calculator is a perfect excuse for endless, bitter nit-picking. Because everyone loves to argue about asymptotic warp curves.
Enjoy yourself. We’ll send sandwiches every few hours.
Posted by: David | March 23, 2018 at 07:41
Heh.
Posted by: David | March 23, 2018 at 08:06
Swinging London, 1967.
Well, that was fab.
London, 2016:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBtRXlCDC-c
Posted by: ftumch | March 23, 2018 at 08:53
Meanwhile, at the BBC.
Posted by: David | March 23, 2018 at 09:14
It's more difficult to sell mirrors online than you might imagine:
https://mobile.twitter.com/SilviuMajor/status/976415235484672000
Posted by: Captain Nemo | March 23, 2018 at 09:56
Were those stranded people in Swanage ever rescued?
And some say... they're sliding still
Posted by: Tom | March 23, 2018 at 10:03
It’s more difficult to sell mirrors online than you might imagine
Heh. It’s hard to pick a winner, really.
Though this one’s a strong contender.
Posted by: David | March 23, 2018 at 10:07
David, genuine question.
That BBC Pidgin website is a piss-take/parody isn't it?.
Seriously.
Posted by: jones | March 23, 2018 at 10:08
That BBC Pidgin website is a piss-take/parody isn’t it?
Oh, it’s quite real.
Posted by: David | March 23, 2018 at 10:11
An old machine from the Seventies, now far from home, stirs.
I'm quite conflicted about Voyager. Part of me hopes that one day we will be able to recover it, (assuming it doesn't crash into anything) for display in a museum. The other part of me loves the idea that there's something made on Earth just out there... in that void, drifting off into space for all eternity.
Posted by: Captain Nemo | March 23, 2018 at 10:12
The other part of me loves the idea that there’s something made on Earth just out there...
Bearing the message, “We come in peace. And are inedible.”
Posted by: David | March 23, 2018 at 10:18
Bearing the message, “We come in peace. And are inedible.”
Heh. Yes, quite.
Posted by: Captain Nemo | March 23, 2018 at 11:02
Heh. Yes, quite.
Indeedy.
Posted by: Ten | March 23, 2018 at 11:36
“Bathroom essentials”
My doctor said that at my age I should install a shower bar, so...
Posted by: Pst314 | March 23, 2018 at 12:16
Something on the floor.
The one on the end seems to be having a bit of trouble.
Posted by: SumDumGuy | March 23, 2018 at 12:49
Bearing the message, “We come in peace. And are inedible.”
It appears we've gotten a response.
Posted by: jabrwok | March 23, 2018 at 13:57
Is that a reference to space probe Voyeurager?
Posted by: PiperPaul | March 23, 2018 at 14:10
It appears we've gotten a response.
"Sex party this way"
Posted by: Sam | March 23, 2018 at 14:16
“Sex party this way”
I fear we’re on the brink of a joke about probing.
Posted by: David | March 23, 2018 at 14:23
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/mar/22/story-one-mans-pregnancy-trans-jason-barker
Posted by: Pogonip | March 23, 2018 at 14:39
OK

Posted by: PiperPaul | March 23, 2018 at 14:44
The story of one man’s pregnancy
I can’t shake the feeling that the click-bait headline is just a little misleading.
Posted by: David | March 23, 2018 at 14:53
The story of one man’s pregnancy
I miss the days when the future was so far away we could still laugh about it.
Posted by: WTP | March 23, 2018 at 15:04
PiperPaul, that works quite well with British Ford names, too. The Anal models Focus, Escort, and Transit are also worthy of a snigger or two.
Posted by: Captain Nemo | March 23, 2018 at 15:05
Via Julia, another tweet of note.
Posted by: David | March 23, 2018 at 15:31
Thoughts on ladies’ fashion, New York, 1930.
Aesthetically much more pleasing than modern times. All the men wear suits and hats, all the women wear dresses or skirts and blouses. When did people stop dressing like civilised beings?
Posted by: Jonathan | March 23, 2018 at 15:35
another tweet of note.
Brilliant. :-D
Posted by: Rafi | March 23, 2018 at 15:46
Jonathan, in the U.S. it was in the mid-1960’s.
Posted by: Pogonip | March 23, 2018 at 15:50
Brilliant.
The article itself is the usual ignorant spite-fest, for which dear Zoe is renowned, but I was tickled by the obliviousness of the line about successful people “thinking they are qualified to speak about anything.” In an article by Zoe Williams. A woman whose inability to comprehend facts and basic causality has never impeded her pronouncements one iota, and whose grasp of economics often borders on the surreal.
Posted by: David | March 23, 2018 at 15:54
...it was in the mid-1960’s.
I'd guess maybe a few years later in Britain. I remember as a child in the late '60's early '70's, adults used to seem to dress well most of the time rather than just in casual clothes.
Posted by: Jonathan | March 23, 2018 at 16:02
David, could you oblige me?
Posted by: Jonathan | March 23, 2018 at 16:03
David, could you oblige me?
I’ll just leave this here, I think.
Posted by: David | March 23, 2018 at 16:06
Thanks David.
Just for you, a well-mannered Pussy.
Posted by: Jonathan | March 23, 2018 at 16:15
Thanks David.
It’s the way the room fell silent and people backed away from you.
Posted by: David | March 23, 2018 at 16:16
It’s the way the room fell silent and people backed away from you.
What can I say? I'm a rebel.
Posted by: Jonathan | March 23, 2018 at 16:26
Commentary . . .
Posted by: Hal | March 23, 2018 at 17:49
Please tell me that this isn't true...
https://www.nationalreview.com/2018/03/count-dankula-verdict-free-speech-dying-britain/
Posted by: champ | March 23, 2018 at 19:32
Oh, it's true. See:
http://twitter.com/CountDankulaTV
For the whole story.
Posted by: Jonathan | March 23, 2018 at 19:39
another tweet of note.
I suspect Zoe believes that, come the revolution, she will dine with Brother Number One whilst the former rich grub amongst the weeds.
Posted by: lotocoti | March 23, 2018 at 22:11
"come the revolution"
I honestly think the vast majority of the left never seriously think that far ahead. Out of all the SJW groups I don't think I've ever seen one specify at what point they'd have no more grievances.
It's a lifestyle, it seems.
Posted by: PiperPaul | March 23, 2018 at 22:20
I suspect that, compared to me and most of the people I know, Zoe Williams is extremely rich, so I assume that it's recommended that I demonise her.
Of course, I won't demonise her for being rich. I'll demonise her for being a sour-faced, spiteful bitch.
Posted by: Horace Dunn | March 23, 2018 at 22:34
25 days in the life of a bean.
Am I the only one who found this kind of horrifying? It makes the fecking thing look alive.
Also, it appears that beans are just plant testicles. Gross.
Posted by: twinkletoes42069 | March 24, 2018 at 08:09
Horrifying bean time-lapse video reminded me of this... thing.
Sweet dreams!
Posted by: PiperPaul | March 24, 2018 at 12:51
It makes the fecking thing look alive.
Last time I checked, plants *are* alive. Which is why carrot juice is murder.
/pedant
Posted by: jabrwok | March 24, 2018 at 13:32
Although nothing, but nothing, can out-cringe the Bill Nye Saves The World "My Sex Junk" video, this thing comes close. Apparently, privilege grants you teleportation powers. Who knew? https://twitter.com/stillgray/status/977296700439019520
Posted by: Captain Nemo | March 24, 2018 at 14:39
another tweet of note
Why is it that pompous, wealthy, wannbe Marxist "revolutionaries" never seem to wash their hair (even for their official Graun portrait)?
One of the Twitterers suggested that Zoe must cut her own hair, "in the dark, while pissed".
Posted by: Spiny Norman | March 24, 2018 at 19:44
carrot juice is murder.
Coleslaw's a fascist regime. But then, what isn't.
Posted by: Daniel Ream | March 24, 2018 at 22:08
jabrwok - I am shamed. PS, your link doesn't seem to be working
D. Ream - I think they stole that one from Tool. (Skip to 1:10.) Btw I loved that song you did.
Posted by: twinkletoes42069 | March 26, 2018 at 08:51
@twinkletoes42069: Not sure what happened to my version of the link. It was supposed to go to the same video to which Daniel Ream subsequently linked though, so you didn't miss anything:-).
Posted by: jabrwok | March 26, 2018 at 14:42