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March 30, 2018

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jabrwok

BBC accidentally speaks truth: http://mentalfloss.com/article/536874/9-curses-book-thieves-middle-ages-and-beyond

jabrwok

Oops! Wrong link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=112&v=UCftJ8Hf0kI

I stole the book curses link to send to my boss. I think large posters of said curses would make delightful decorations when we renovate the library:-D.

Sam Duncan

“Kitchen knife made of foil.”

That bloke makes Forged in Fire look like a bunch of amateurs.

“This depiction, seen as a child, has lingered in the memory.”

Was he voiced by Phil Cornwell, by any chance? The resemblance is uncanny. The head, that is.

The... er, top head.

Crikey.

Pogonip

I have a sword (really), now I want a jetpack. That looks like such fun! If you see a fat old samurai lady drifting across England, wave to me.

On the subject of kitchen equipment, how about an Incinerator report?

PiperPaul

"This depiction..."



Not sure why the Devil has ass eyes in that image.

Daniel Ream

Jetpack Samurai. You heard me.

Umm....we know they're on wires, right?

From the way it's staged it looks like the primary shooting for something that'll be heavily post-produced; I saw a couple of moments where "this is where the VFX will be inserted later" was clearly telegraphed.

That bloke makes Forged in Fire look like a bunch of amateurs.

I clicked on that and got redirected to history.ca, which had on its marquee a splash photo for "Truck Night in America". I fear there may be some mission drift happening.

Col. Milquetoast

http://colmilquetoast.blogspot.com/2015/11/book-note-library-crime-and-punishment.html

A library in Salamanca threatens excommunication if you lose a book.

JuliaM

I want that stealth SUV so much!

Jen

He wants someone to help him wash his hands.

LOL. But apart from that one thing he's so polite.

David

But apart from that one thing he’s so polite.

Yes, it’s a winning juxtaposition. I like that he’s quite conscientious about closing the door afterwards.

Alice

And finally, if you find this footage amusing, you’re a terrible, terrible person.

I laughed and I'm not sorry.

David

I laughed and I’m not sorry.

Does it count as an example of “social justice”? Because I think it should.

Ted S., Catskill Mtns., NY, USA

I clicked on that and got redirected to history.ca, which had on its marquee a splash photo for "Truck Night in America". I fear there may be some mission drift happening.

One of the Discovery Channels here in the US became the Military Channel and is now the "American Heroes" channel, apparently because dishing out violence on behalf of the state is inherently heroic or something. They run a lot of stuff on Hitler, and I know that looking through the listings I've seen reruns of "Mafia vs. KKK" too.

TomJ

The story of the first bear to survive a supersonic high-altitude ejection from a nuclear bomber. The first comment is purest gold.

(H/t: Charlie Stross)

David

Umm....we know they’re on wires, right?

[ Henchlesbians quietly, but firmly, escort Daniel into a soundproofed side room. ]

Fruitbat44

The SUV. Tacky beyond measure. Proof positive that money can't buy good taste . . . I want one . . .

The red-hot jack hammer, and the stepladder, looks like a Darwin award waiting to happen. Kinda cool though.

And the amusing footage? Well, yes bro, you are going to jail.

dw

Yum

https://twitter.com/Holbornlolz/status/979637367316340736

David

Yum

Sprouts, or the Devil’s testicles, as I believe they’re more commonly known.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

The story of the first bear to survive a supersonic high-altitude ejection from a nuclear bomber.

All rise and render a hand salute to the anonymous Airman who had to clean the seat afterwards.

Meanwhile, in the art world, Collaborating with a four year old., featuring Space Beavers (minds out of the gutter, gentlemen). More here.

JuliaM

"The bear most accurately represented the weight of a pilot..."

Of an American pilot. I feel that's a significant qualification.

Penseivat

I found the penultimate one funnier than the last one. That probably shows that I'm a really, really, bad person.

Trevor

He wants someone to help him wash his hands.

I was going to attempt some witty reference to the UK constabulary's former practice of deploying officers (generally the youngest, hence the moniker 'pretty policeman') as agents provocateurs in certain public toilets notorious for unspeakable beastliness. Then I remembered that our watchword on this blog is decorum and so thought better of it.

Boatswain's Mate

OK, so I'm a terrible, terrible person. Sue me.

Sam

Frozen lake versus red-hot jackhammer.

I didn't see that coming.

Sam

Also, I laughed at both of the last two videos.

David

Also, I laughed at both of the last two videos.

Nemesis takes many forms.

Governor Squid

For fans of the mechanical.

Well, there goes my pin money...

SumDumGuy

Kitchen knife made of foil.

An inmate once told me how to make a knife out of newspaper. I made one at home which proved a shockingly effective stabbing weapon (no animals were harmed but various cushions and a coupe of larger fruits may have been.)

David

An inmate once told me

I hesitate to ask.

SumDumGuy

I hesitate to ask.

You shouldn't. I work for a state prison agency in the US.

David

I work for a state prison agency in the US.

Ah. I just assume my readers have a criminal history and have spent time in the big house. Julia, for instance, can make a lethal shank out of a bar of soap.

Hector Drummond, Vile Novelist

Jetpack porn would be good.

Chester Draws

"The Cockateer" Hector.

The scene on YouTube suggests it wasn't very good porn though.

Captain Nemo

This depiction, seen as a child, has lingered in the memory.

Related: https://twitter.com/DamienKempf/status/979602642895884288 and https://twitter.com/DamienKempf/status/979732527110918145

Fred the Fourth

Julia, American military pilots of that era tended to be trim and small. I, for instance, am 5' 8", 145 pounds, and barely fit into the cockpit of an A-4 Skyhawk fighter. (My father was CO of a USMC reserve squadron of A-4s, and I knew quite a few of the pilots.)

Jugra

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Millwall_brick

R. Sherman

Umm....we know they’re on wires, right?

What's next? No Santa Claus?

R. Sherman

@Fred IV

Back in the day, my dad worked for the military industrial complex and designed various avionics for the A-4 among other things, i.e. the F-4 and later the F-15 and F-18. Small world, as they say.

TomJ

Office drama.

David

Office drama.

That’s a lot to process in 45 seconds. But blimey, what a cow.

David

Office drama.

I assume I’m not the only one now checking for updates.

Clam

Office drama.

Office romance gone bad? There's got to be something we don't know.

#suspense

champ

The insanity continues...

https://pjmedia.com/trending/women-college-objects-professors-using-word-women/

SumDumGuy

I just assume my readers have a criminal history and have spent time in the big house.

I've come to the same conclusion. Makes it feel kind of homey.

Julia, for instance, can make a lethal shank out of a bar of soap.

Advanced level stuff right there, most people never get past using them for masturbatory aides.

David

Advanced level stuff right there,

And Darleen can skin up with one hand. I’ve seen her do it.

SumDumGuy

Darleen can skin up with one hand.

It's trickier than it should be, really. The real pros can do it inside their sleeves, then moisten it with their thumb. It's illegal behind the fence here so they have to be good at hiding.

WTP

And Darleen can skin up with one hand. I’ve seen her do it.

Is this something I can teach my wife to do? Is this something I would/could/should want to teach my wife to do?

David

Is this something I can teach my wife to do?

Heh. I’m told it’s just a matter of practice.

PiperPaul

Which subject has more euphemisms and jargon - illicit drug use or sex?

Darleen

And Darleen can skin up with one hand.

And a shiv can be made from some purloined denim threads, twisted and stiffened with any sugary beverage like Kool-aid.

Ask me how I know.

Darleen

if you find this footage amusing

And the full video has even more entertaining bits ... 4:14 mark where he starts falling to his knees pleading "Please please I'm sorry" is especially precious...

R. Sherman

Ask me how I know.

I just assume my readers have a criminal history and have spent time in the big house.

Sort of related: For those who think that there are no real differences between males and females, I note that my profession has taken me into my state's maximum security correctional institutions for males and for females. Same degrees of felonies just different sexes. The differences are quite stark in terms of security and general atmosphere. In the male prison, the inmate I was seeing (my own client, armed robbery) was trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey and was behind Plexiglas in a cubicle which took me walking through multiple locked doors to get to.

In the female prison, the inmate I was deposing (first degree murder for stabbing someone multiple times) was walking around among the rest of the denizens of that facility and I got to walk through several hundred of them exercising in the yard to get to the conference room where the meeting took place.

The contrast was jarring.

Spiny Norman

if you find this footage amusing, you’re a terrible, terrible person

I saw it posted at 4Chan /b/. Much profane hilarity ensued.

Darleen

R. Sherman

I noted that the 4 years I worked in a juvenile facility we only needed one unit for the girls, the others (about 9 -- at least 2 were max security for the juvies being held because they were tried or were waiting to be tried as adults). Save for one or two literally psycho girls, the vast majority of calls for emergency help were always on the boys' units.

Oh... btw... the "threads into shiv" thing was how this guy went from a lifer at Pelican Bay to death row.

R. Sherman

Darleen,

Early in my career, I periodically was appointed to represent juvenile offenders. I recall one afternoon, I got a call from a judge for a juvenile extradition hearing, an extremely rare occurrence. The offender had mugged an old lady, stolen a car, robbed a liquor store and then driven through three states to get to my county where he'd finally run out of gas and stolen cash.

He was 13 years old, less than feet tall and weighed about 90 pounds soaking wet. He was subdued with thumb cuffs.

I actually had a defense to extradition to the state where the really bad offenses took place, but he was crying and telling me he just wanted to see his "mama" and wanted to go home.

Truly strange.

I think about him occasionally. He's probably dead or serving hard time.

R. Sherman

@Darleen

I should have written "less than five feet tall." He was a tiny little kid. I remember, I gave him a business card and he called me "Mr. 'R'" during the time we talked. He kept telling me he wanted to go home and see his "mama," even though I don't think his mother (single, of course) even knew he was 500 hundred miles from home.

That was back when I was young, idealistic and a Democrat.

Darleen

@Mr. R

The one thing I've carried with me from my time at the JDACs is that so many of the inmates were actually & honestly victims - there were the 3rd or 4th generation gang member, the kids of criminal and/or addict parent(s) who, for all intents & purposes, lived on their own ... rarely in school, taught how to steal, never been to a doctor in their lives.

Indeed, juvenile hall was probably the first stable place they had ever lived.

But I'm also in touch enough with reality to know there were also a significant number of "kids" who were truly sociopaths and would probably spend the better part of their lives in the prison system ... no matter how short or long that would be.

JuliaM

Fred the Fourth: "Julia, American military pilots of that era tended to be trim and small. "

Yeah, I know, I just couldn't resist... ;)

JuliaM

In other news, hey, scientists, whyyyyyyyyyyy!

Darleen

And I should know better than to drive myself bonkers when running across crap like this when I was looking for Daniel Landry ...

BTW, this is a woman who is writing this and IMHO it is akin to all the weirdo women who write fan letters & proposals of marriage to serial killers.

Hal

In other news, hey, scientists, whyyyyyyyyyyy!

"flic-flac spider" my ass.

The designers only cite the spider to justify that the real reason they spent all the development money was so that they could have their own droideka.

David

4:14 mark where he starts falling to his knees pleading “Please please I’m sorry” is especially precious...

Today’s word is foresight. Also, consequences.

It’s always grimly funny to see such after-the-fact whining, when no such accommodation would be offered by him to those he preys upon.

oralJex

“Whoever steals this book
Will hang on a gallows in Paris,
And, if he isn’t hung, he’ll drown,
And, if he doesn’t drown, he’ll roast,
And, if he doesn’t roast, a worse end will befall him.”

An hour of Amy Schumer stand up?

David

By the way, I’ve been emailed by a commenter who pointed out that my remarks about Darleen and Julia are terribly unfair. Apparently, to correct this error and restore some basic fairness, I should now fabricate improbable jailhouse skills for the rest of you.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

Apparently, to correct this error and restore some basic fairness, I should now fabricate improbable jailhouse skills for the rest of you.

I can send you some dandy recipes for Pruno and the proper way to get the alcohol out of liquid shoe polish by straining it through a loaf of three day old bread.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

"Nobody wants to be a bad neighbor...", so be a good chap and pay British Rail for the daylight that comes through your window (Reg and Ronnie last seen furiously taking notes at this scheme).

pst314

"Nobody wants to be a bad neighbor...", so be a good chap and pay British Rail for the daylight that comes through your window

The video makes clear that the sole purpose was to preserve British Rail's legal right to build on their own property.

In the video, a British Rail representative explains to the BBC that according to British law, if a person "has windows receiving the light uninterruptedly for 20 years" then they have a legal right to that light in perpetuity, and a neighbor may not build anything on their own land which would reduce that light. Therefore, British Rail must take steps to preserve their rights to develop that land. Asking those neighbors to pay (at least once every 20 years) a purely nominal fee for light access is one way to preserve those rights. Asking for a token payment does seem like a reasonable way to accomplish this.

Darleen

Burn it down

[U]niversity diversity officials have accorded themselves a right to investigate and sanction anyone accused of “intentionally or unintentionally” exhibiting an inappropriate “state of mind” with regards to “an attitude, an individual, or group.” What could go wrong?

David

Burn it down

Darleen, it may be worth reposting that comment in today’s thread too.

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