David Thompson
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August 21, 2018

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Monty James

One hundred and one.

Ted S., Catskill Mtns., NY, USA

and no "let's all smoke dope" legislation,

So encaging people for changing their brain chemistry in a way you disapprove of is freedom?

The War on Drugs is profoundly wicked.

Darleen

Another entry in the annals of "Children Never Lie"

(BTW, good on the parents of these kids who seem to have done a better job at getting the truth than the trained "experts")

Farnsworth M Muldoon

The democrats are fielding only the best and brightest for Congress this year, like this guy in Massachusetts, if that highly convincing ad doesn't get them flocking to the polls, nothing will.

WTP

Just read that Darleen. Notice the comments (as of two minutes ago) made it about Trump. No surprise there, I suppose.

Darleen

made it about Trump.

oh FFS .... and his voters/supporters, too. I should never read the comments.

This isn't going to end well (I just read Gregg Jarrett's The Russia Hoax and the soft coup attempts are enough to make an honest person sick)

Farnsworth M Muldoon

Notice the comments (as of two minutes ago) made it about Trump.

They also have Pence and Palin, the South Africa land grab "hoax", and "it is not the fault of the reporters" they reported BS. It is a wonder they haven't gotten terminal hernias for all those logic leaps.

Spiny Norman

I should never read the comments.

I keep telling myself that, but...

postimg.cc

Pogonip

Re $895 weekend: bitch be husband-hunting. A guy who can afford to blow $895 on something that silly is unlikely ever to run out of Benjamins.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

A guy who can afford to blow $895 on something that silly is unlikely ever to run out of Benjamins.

Not until the divorce, anyway...

Farnsworth M Muldoon

Speaking of divorce, here is a tragic tale of a $60,000 wedding that didn't happen. Somebody dodged a bullet.

Pogonip

Farnsworth, is there a place I can read the original whine? The tweets cut parts of it off. I THINK it was saying Bridezilla wanted to charge people $1500/head to attend her wedding and when that didn’t go over she, the devoted mother, took off for two months solo in S. America. (I hope someone is taking care of the baby!)

When’s David get back? Don’t forget to scatter coasters on the tables so he thinks we’ve been using them.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

Pogonip,

Click on the image in each tweet - it will bring up the full view of each portion of the rant - a bit of an awkward way to present it. You are correct, one of the sub-rants was that they specifically said no gifts, but they were instead asking $1500 clams per invitee. The who thing is a study in psychopathology that would entertain a bevy of shrinks for days.

Darleen

Don’t forget to scatter coasters on the tables so he thinks we’ve been using them

Throw pillows. Where does Dave keep the throw pillows? Need to cover the, um, uh, stains on the couch while we make our get-away.

Pogonip

And somebody put a rug over the stains where a savage pickled “egg” bit a customer on the butt.

And that wasn’t even the “egg” named Cujo. The offending “egg” was Cuddles.

Pogonip

Thanks, Farnsworth, but the tweets are now “protected.” I’ll have to wait till it turns up on the Wayback Machine.

Pogonip

Darleen, are you Mrs. Smitty? Of the 100-word-fictions you and he write? I enjoy those.

If you ARE Mrs. Smitty, does he know you hang around this disreputable joint?

WTP

So, OT but somewhat relevant and I gotta rant this to somebody...Watching Dirty Harry (the first one) last night and got curious as to who was playing the mayor. Looked on my TV Guide app and the synopsis of the film described it as “a fascist film about a cop or a film about a fascist cop” or words to that effect. Fascism? In what sense can one cop be “fascist”? What are words for?

Also, WTF happened to the good garden hose? I can’t get the kitchen clean with this leaky POS. It’s just trickling out like an old m...never mind.

Pogonip

“Fascist” just means “something a liberal didn’t like.” The liberal writing the capsule description didn’t like the movie. I never cared for it either, but as a non-liberal, I’d have to explain why. This is fascist—er, unfair.

Spiny Norman

Somebody dodged a bullet.

Scrimping and saving for a $15,000 wedding is a but much for a couple of seeming limited means, then this happened:

A local psychic told us to go with the more expensive option, and we thought why the hell not. We just needed a little push. Our dream wedding amounted to $60k...
Oh. I think I see a really big problem already.
All we asked was a little help from our friends and family to make it happen.
Going from an elaborate wedding at $15,000 is quite nice enough, one would think, but nooooo... let's make the guests pay for it!

[headdesk]

I really like the "Draaamaaaaaaaaa" gif. Oh, and this:

Matthew Caldwell 1h1 hour ago

Aren’t wedding shaming groups the main reason to be on facebook?

All the best people 36m36 minutes ago

THEY ARE NOW

I think I might send this to my sister.

Hal

Watching Dirty Harry . . . Looked on my TV Guide app and the synopsis of the film described it as . . .

Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first person she meets and then teams up with three strangers to kill again.

Hal

Scrimping and saving for a $15,000 wedding is a but much for a couple of seeming limited means, then this happened:

A local psychic told us to go with the more expensive option, and we thought why the hell not.

Two people, two witnesses, one minister, five minutes.

If so inclined, let people know that a wedding will be occurring at Such a location and time, if anyone else is so inclined.

---One couple I know simply headed for a local seaside beach, had about 30 other people coincidentally show up, and then everyone met up at a local apartment afterwards.

Fred the Fourth

Relax about the mess, folks. I've hired a pro real estate "stager" to set things right. And only $1500 from each of you!
You can thank me later.

Pogonip

Well, I guess it’s cheaper than being invited to a wedding...

Darleen

Pogonip,

I started the Friday 100 word Challenge when I was writing at Protein Wisdom and now I do it at Victory Girls. I'm not Mrs. Smitty, he just follows me around ;).

Darleen

I've hired a pro real estate "stager"

I don't think stagers do bathrooms ... especially since I can't figure out what the HELL happened in that bathtub.

Or maybe I shouldn't ask.

Alex deWinter

Somebody check the rolodex to see if there's a card for a skunk wrangler. Quickly, please.

in unrelated news, the Mayor was played by John Vernon.

David

especially since I can’t figure out what the HELL happened in that bathtub.

Good thing I keep a hazmat team on speed-dial.

Ted S., Catskill Mtns., NY, USA

Click on the image in each tweet - it will bring up the full view of each portion of the rant - a bit of an awkward way to present it.

That's what a blog is for.

Clam

Glad you're back, David. Fridays aren't the same without some ephemera. Are you refreshed?

David

Are you refreshed?

I’m not sure I’d use the word refreshed exactly, what with the travelling and revelry. But the niece’s wedding was fun, certainly, and featured most of the traditional trimmings and micro-dramas. A string quartet accompanied by muffled weeping coming from underneath some outlandish hats; several ladies in posh frocks and heels, and various stages of inebriation, teetering unsteadily down gravel paths; and my father-in-law’s phone going off during the quietest part of the ceremony.

Clam

father-in-law’s phone going off during the quietest part of the ceremony.

If that was the biggest snafu you got off lightly. :-)

David

If that was the biggest snafu you got off lightly. :-)

There was also an elaborate wedding cake that began to buckle in the heat, requiring some last-minute inventiveness - but like the inappropriate ringtone, it was all taken philosophically. Every wedding should have a little unplanned comedy.

Hal

Good thing I keep a hazmat team on speed-dial.

Okkaaaaayyyy . . . . And just how is it that you wound up with access to Winston Wolfe?

Darleen

Every wedding should have a little unplanned comedy.

Hubby and I were married in my parents' backyard ... as the pastor was moving us through our vows, from the neighboring backyard comes ...

"Ground control to Major Tom ..."

The pastor looked at us, grinning, and we could barely contain our laughter. Titters from the guests.

It's become a favorite wedding memory.

David

“Ground control to Major Tom...”

Heh.

I think I’ve mentioned before that, at his wedding reception, during the first dance with his new wife, my brother-in-law arranged for the DJ to play U2’s I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.

They’re still married, I should point out.

Darleen

They’re still married, I should point out.

Good for them. Question is, is BIL still welcomed to family functions? Without a chaperone?

Sonny Wayze

"Going from an elaborate wedding at $15,000 is quite nice enough, one would think, but nooooo... let's make the guests pay for it!"

The first thing that hit me is that she had to tell everybody how much the engagement ring cost. Because that obviously is related to the degree of commitm...

Never mind.

Daniel Ream

The first thing that hit me is that she had to tell everybody how much the engagement ring cost.

Am I the only one wondering how an 18 year old working on a farm ended up having $5000 extra to spend on an engagement ring?

There were so many red flags in the lead-up to the actual breakdown that I have to wonder about the groom in this scenario. Fool me once, shame on you...

Hal

Are you refreshed?

I’m not sure I’d use the word refreshed exactly, what with the travelling and revelry.

Oh!

Were you at Notting Hill, perhaps?

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