Summer Lovin’

Yes, it’s warm and moist, hereabouts at least, and time to remind patrons that this rickety barge is kept afloat by the kindness of strangers. If you’d like to help it remain buoyant a while longer, and remain ad-free, there’s an orange button below with which to monetise any love. Debit and credit cards are accepted. For those wishing to express their love regularly, there’s a monthly subscription option top left. And if one-click haste is called for, my PalPay.Me page can be found here. Additionally, any Amazon shopping done via this link or the search widget top right, or for Amazon US via this link, results in a small fee for your host at no extra cost to you.

For newcomers wishing to know more about what’s been going on here for the last decade or so, in over 2,500 posts and close to 85,000 comments, the reheated series is a pretty good place to start - in particular, the end-of-year summaries. If you can, do take a moment to poke through the discussion threads too. The posts are intended as starting points, not full stops, and the comments are where much of the good stuff is waiting to be found. And do please join in.

Again, thanks for the support, the comments, and the company. 

Comments

[Clam]

I'm glad I found this place. Have bunged you a few quid.

[David]

May your butter forever be spreadable – neither too hard nor too soft – and free of unsightly toast crumbs.

[Tom]

...and free of unsightly toast crumbs

Unsightly Toast Crumbs, it'a great band name and they're good eatin'!

Literally, little pieces of recycled toast, what could be better? Other than fresh toast obviously.

[David]

It’s great band name and they’re good eatin’!

I do hope someone’s compiling all these band name ideas so that when we get it together and actually form the band, we’ll at least have a great name.

[Mike]

Pinged. :-)

[David]

May midges respect your air-space.

[Y. Knott]

*Cha-CHING!*

- I'm sorry - was that racist? - as a white male, everything else I do is...

[David]

Much appreciated. May you never be rudely awakened by the sound of a neighbour dumping a suspiciously large number of wine bottles into the recycling bin.

[R. Sherman]

Pinged.

[R. Sherman]

Pinged.

[R. Sherman]

Not sure why Firefox is posting duplicate comments.

[David]

May the neighbours never catch you standing by the recycling bin, looking sweaty and exasperated, and struggling to flatten impossibly defiant cardboard packaging.

[Joan]

struggling to flatten impossibly defiant cardboard packaging.

I know the shame of defiant cardboard. :-)

[Joan]

Also pinged.

[David]

I know the shame of defiant cardboard. :-)

You’d think that disposing of the packaging for an ironing board and fridge deodoriser would be a simple matter, and not require elaborate planning, muttered epithets and feats of Herculean strength. But no. The Amazon packaging department is evidently experimenting with some kind of uncollapsible cardboard.

Also pinged.

Bless you, madam. May you frequently be assumed to be younger than you are, and by quite some margin.

[Joan]

I wish. :-)

[[+]]

Tip jar hit.

[Jacob]

Pinged

[David]

Thanks, and thanks. May dust never gather on the extractor above the hob.

[Andrew]

If you link to SDA I'm happy to throw a few dollars your way.

[David]

May the colours never fade from your favourite fashion item.

[Y. Knott]

May the colours never fade from your favourite fashion item.

- Unless it's jeans, of course...

[David]

Unless it’s jeans, of course...

I’m sure I wouldn’t know. I’m unfamiliar with the joys of denim.

[David]

By the way, I’ve only two episodes left before finishing season four of Bosch. Another season should appear next year, but until then I’m going to want something else to binge on. If anyone has any suggestions…

[Daniel Ream]

I've no idea what our plastic see-through money is worth on your side of the pond, but here's a few bills. Perhaps you can make suncatchers out of them or something.

If anyone has any suggestions

I've mentioned Justified, Banshee and The Americans before, but they may be a bit too rooted in Southern Gothic to be relatable. I expect your other half would quite enjoy Chuck, given the large number of well-written geek references d'une certain age.

As a bit of a lark I dug up a set of The Rockford Files and was pleasantly surprised. The collars take some getting used to, though.

A friend highly recommends Black Sails, although I've not yet partaken myself.

[David]

As a bit of a lark I dug up a set of The Rockford Files and was pleasantly surprised.

Heh. I didn’t see that coming. I may poke at an episode or two of The Expanse.

Here’s a few bills. Perhaps you can make suncatchers out of them or something.

Appreciated. May your shoelaces never expire and prove difficult to replace while the shoes themselves could be mistaken for new.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

If anyone has any suggestions…

The Man in the High Castle; the aforementioned Goliath; Comrade Detective is good cheesy fun; The Grand Tour if you've not already seen it, Clarkson, May, and the Hamster at their finest; Fortitude (Season 1 better than 2); Jean Claude Van Johnson is a good send up of Jean Claude van Damme sending himself up. If you haven't bailed on Netflix, Lillyhammer.

[David]

The Man in the High Castle

The Other Half had suggested we take a squint at that.

[David]

The Grand Tour

Already set to record. But I’m thinking more of ongoing dramas. Things that lend themselves to binge-watching.

[Daniel Ream]

The Man in the High Castle

In the same genre, the 1994 film adaptation of the book Fatherland is excellent.

[Daniel Ream]

Heh. I didn’t see that coming.

Hard-boiled detective noir in the classic Marlowe oeuvre is pretty rare these days; you have to go back a bit to find good examples. Rockford is a little more tongue-in-cheek at times, but it holds up pretty well (especially if you get the Blu-Rays. It's ironic that 1970s TV looks better than 1980's TV when remastered, because 1970s TV was shot on film rather than videotape)

[Chester Draws]

Try Rake<\i>.

Not the US version. The original Australian version.

I watch very little TV but it is a class above.

I quite like The Expanse, but it is very difficult to keep up.

[Chester Draws]

<\i> This is starting to get on my nerves.

[David]

<\i> This is starting to get on my nerves.

Nicely saved, though.

[ Straightens giant sign. Adds spotlight. ]

[Mr H]

Great blog, David

*ping*

[Bad News Quillan]

Ka-ching!

--Bad News

PS.

[R. Sherman]

Re: The Man In The High Castle

I liked it, but after two episodes, it bears little resemblance to the Phillip Dick novel. Still, the series builds on Dick's main premise and takes it in some interesting directions. It's worth your time, if you like that sort of thing.

Fun Fact: My eldest was at an academic conference in Europe recently, where one of the speakers described Man... as "problematic," because . . . Nazis!!!!!!!!

As my daughter noted, the speaker had obviously never read the novel nor seen the series nor grasped the whole sci-fi trope of alternate universes. We now live in a society where people compete to see who can yell "problematic" or "white people's [fill-in-the-blank] first, as if there's some sort of prize at the end.

[Daniel Ream]

as if there's some sort of prize at the end

But there is. Attention, possibly fame, emotional validation by hundreds of Internet strangers.

I hate to go all Dr. Phil here but these people wouldn't do this if it didn't get them something.

[Liz]

Thanks, David. Your tip jar has been hit.

[WTP]

But there is. Attention, possibly fame, emotional validation by hundreds of Internet strangers.

Chicks. You left out chicks. Ooh, how they light up when a guy says a woke thing. Especially a feministy woke thing.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

...or "white people's [fill-in-the-blank] first...

Australia loses the plot, but will white patients have to explain their privilege to black nurses ?

The nurses must simply abide by the new code which state clearly that “cultural safety is as important to quality care as clinical safety”.

Right, appreciating some good didgeridoo tunes ranks right up there with mundane trivia like actually knowing drug dosages.

[WTP]

Ping. A small tuppance until the ship comes in. What, you weren’t sleeping were you?

[R. Sherman]

The nurses must simply abide by the new code which state clearly that “cultural safety is as important to quality care as clinical safety”.

Reading that article, I was reminded of the time several years back when I spent five days in an ICU. My night shift nurse was a young lady from Zimbabwe. We managed to have some very lovely conversations and she seemed quite pleased that a)I had some knowledge of Zimbabwean geography and history and b) I was interested in her life. I suppose it might have been an act, but she and I have corresponded periodically since, so I doubt it. There was none of this "cultural safety cum emotional labor" crap prevalent among the racialists here.

[Pogonip]

R. Sherman, can you pass on to us some of what you learned about Zimbabwe?

[David]

What, you weren’t sleeping were you?

Thanks, thanks, thanks, and thanks. And ditto to all who’ve chipped in so far (including those much too shy to say hello), or subscribed, or done shopping via the Amazon links. It’s much appreciated and is what keeps this place here.

May the padding of your ironing board never deteriorate, resulting in an unattractive grid pattern being imprinted on your second-favourite shirt.

[Rafi]

Thanks for being a gracious host.

Ping.

[David]

Thanks for being a gracious host.

May you never wake to find that your open windows have been soiled, to a quite spectacular extent, by crows perched on the guttering.

[WTP]

May you never wake to find that your open windows have been soiled, to a quite spectacular extent, by crows perched on the guttering.

Heh. Sounds like the voice of experience there. Let me try one...

May no one notice the burrs and foxtails stuck to your shoes and dress pants upon returning to work after burying a body where it will never be found anyway.

Actually that is just a one-time offer... What?

[David]

Sounds like the voice of experience there.

Alas, yes. For a second I thought something had exploded.

May no one notice the burrs and foxtails stuck to your shoes and dress pants upon returning to work after burying a body where it will never be found anyway.

I see I may have to deputise.

[Daniel Ream]

May no one notice the burrs and foxtails stuck to your shoes

Wait a minute, let me see that shoe. Well, that's a very nice shoe. It's practically new. That's terrific! I'm looking for a pair of shoes just like this.

[David]

Wait a minute, let me see that shoe.

See, this is why you should always keep a pair of body-burying shoes in the car. And some of those latex gloves.

[David]

I quite like The Expanse, but it is very difficult to keep up.

I lost interest halfway through the first episode. I’m quite ruthless with drama series. They have minutes to win me over.

[Chester Draws]

OK then, try Rake in the Australian version.

No keeping up required. Mind you it's comedy, albeit very dark.

[J]

Yours is one of my favourite blogs, David. A token of appreciation has been sent.

[David]

A token of appreciation has been sent.

Thank you. May you never find rubbery liquitab residue adhered to the inside of the washing machine door.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

I have authorized my assistants, Connie and Bonnie, to fire off some baksheesh for the blogwallah.

May your binge streaming never be interrupted with frozen pixels.

[David]

I have authorized my assistants, Connie and Bonnie, to fire off some baksheesh for the blogwallah.

I’m laughing at blogwallah and I’m not sure why. May you know the simple pleasure of a brie and bacon sandwich.

[Em]

Love 'The Year Reheated'...

*kerching*

[Squires]

As my daughter noted, the speaker had obviously never read the novel nor seen the series nor grasped the whole sci-fi trope of alternate universes.

They already have their own headcanon wherein the Nazis did win, and have their brave selves surrounded at all times. For their imaginary drama to be upstaged by someone else’s imaginary drama is ungood.

Chicks. You left out chicks. Ooh, how they light up when a guy says a woke thing.

I’ve found a good and firm slap on the ass gets results.

[Pogonip]

On WHOSE ass?

[Pogonip]

Here I sit, eating frozen mini-tacos, the junkiest of junk, but every 6 months or so I go wild!

When I was a kid the frozen mini-tacos were composed of real food, as were the frozen mini-pizzas, 15 to an aluminum tray, 5 cheese, 5 pepperoni, 5 sausage. 50 years later I vividly recall how good those tasted.

What’s everyone else’s favorite food you can’t get anymore?

[Hal]

Here I sit, eating frozen mini-tacos

I prefer ice cream for cold crunchy stuff.

Every few months I'll go in for a Shannon's Nightmare, being a more or less standard sundae, but made with large amounts of coffee and mint chip ice cream.

[Pogonip]

I zapped the mini-tacos. Although around here, some stores carry Choco-Tacos, a taco-shaped ice cream bar (I haven’t tried them).

Are my mini- tacos cultural appropriation of Mexican midgets?

[Hal]

. . . a Shannon's Nightmare, being a more or less standard sundae, but made with large amounts of coffee and mint chip ice cream.

Err . . . a just in case bit of clarity . . . That would be large amounts of coffee ice cream, and matching amounts of mint chip ice cream . . .

---Once Upon A Time, there was a choir in Oakland, Ca., where after rehearsals, quite a number would head off to a local ice cream shop. On one occasion, from randomness or mebbe a dare, a choir member named Shannon ordered that combination of Stuff. The next week she reported having then encountering The Utter Worst Nightmares Ever, and she was never going to do that again . . . . And then pretty much everyone else in the choir proceeded to order the Shannon's Nightmare with such recurrence that the shop staff wound up knowing it just by name. A number of years after that, one of those choir members told me, and I've been rather fond of 'em on the occasions when I get something of the sort . . .

[David]

Love ‘The Year Reheated’...

The end-of-year flashbacks deliver all that mighty leftism in one big rush. I think of them as snapshots of the culture, or a kind of psych profile. Whether that results in laughter or dismay probably depends on the reader’s mood.

*kerching*

Bless you, madam. May your carrier bag integrity never be in doubt.

[Zionist Overlord #73]

Here I sit, eating frozen mini-tacos

If you want me to send you a pizza roll, put your email address on my webzone.

[Pogonip]

Isn’t “pizza roll” that thing in England where people chase a frozen pizza rolling down an incredibly steep hill, attempting to, er, shatter the World Group Ankle-breaking Record?

[Captain Nemo]

No, Pogonip. That's a wheel of cheese. Double Gloucester, to be precise. More information can be found here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cooper's_Hill_Cheese-Rolling_and_Wake

[David]

attempting to, er, shatter the World Group Ankle-breaking Record?

Yes, we are a proud people and our ways, though sometimes mysterious to outsiders, are ancient and revered.

[WTP]

That's a wheel of cheese. Double Gloucester, to be precise.

I thought that was a Canadian thing. I seem to recall a poem about it...*rummage, rummage, rummage*...ah, yes. Here 'tis...

Ode on the Mammoth Cheese
Weighing over seven thousand pounds

We have seen the Queen of cheese,
Laying quietly at your ease,
Gently fanned by evening breeze —
Thy fair form no flies dare seize.

All gaily dressed soon you’ll go
To the great Provincial Show,
To be admired by many a beau
In the city of Toronto.

Cows numerous as a swarm of bees —
Or as the leaves upon the trees —
It did require to make thee please,
And stand unrivalled Queen of Cheese.

May you not receive a scar as
We have heard that Mr. Harris
Intends to send you off as far as
The great World’s show at Paris.

Of the youth — beware of these —
For some of them might rudely squeeze
And bite your cheek; then songs or glees
We could not sing o’ Queen of Cheese.

We’rt thou suspended from baloon,
You’d cast a shade, even at noon;
Folks would think it was the moon
About to fall and crush them soon.

--James McIntyre

[David]

We could not sing o’ Queen of Cheese.

I’ll just leave this here.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

That's a wheel of cheese. Double Gloucester, to be precise.

And did that cheese in ancient time,
Roll upon England's mountains green?
And was the holy curd of god
On England's pleasant pastries seen?

Bring me my bowl of melted gouda!
Bring me my skewers of desire!
Bring me my barm, oh chunks unfold!
Bring me my Sterno for the fire!

[Pogonip]

McIntyre’s in one of the Bathroom Reader books as the world’s worst poet.

[Jonathan]

Just bunged a couple of groats in the bucket to repair your clinker bottom.

If anyone has any suggestions…

I enjoyed the first two series of 'Narcos' and there's another one in the queue. I've also watched the first two episodes of 'The Young Pope' which seems pretty good and has great Roman scenery and interiors.

[David]

Just bunged a couple of groats in the bucket to repair your clinker bottom.

I’ve been using moisturiser, actually. But bless you, sir. May you never find yourself in a John Lewis fitting room during a heatwave when the store’s air conditioning is on the blink, resulting in mortification as you hand back a now visibly sweat-soiled shirt with the words, “I think I’ve changed my mind about the colour.”

[Hal]

. . . our ways, though sometimes mysterious to outsiders, are ancient and revered.

The Battle of Pearl Harbor.

[Pogonip]

Actually, Captain Nemo, that’s a frozen pizza cleverly disguised as a wheel of cheese.

David, if the bottom’s rusted out, it’s probably time to buy a new clinker.

[Jonathan]

Honestly, it's like nobody knows anything about boatbuilding around here.

[David]

I’ve always said this place is educational.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

Clinker construction:

Carvel Construction:

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

You must never stray from the narrative. Protesters protest protest song singer for the thoughtcrime of saying not all cops are bad.

Damn splitters, wreckers, and saboteurs.

[Ian]

An oasis of sanity. Tip jar hit.

[David]

An oasis of sanity. Tip jar hit.

I don’t know about sanity, but bewildered disdain, certainly. And thanks. May your watch strap never smell like concentrated wrist.

[Zionist Overlord #73]

@Pogonip

That was a reference to Mr. Plinkett of RedLetterMedia fame, whose reviews of the Star Wars Prequels film continue to scour eardrums on youtube. Strong language warning.

@WTP
I'll see your Queen O' Cheese, and raise you one Tron Kirk Bell.

WANWORDY, crazy, dinsome thing,
As e’er was fram’d to jow or ring,
What gar’d them sic in steeple hing
They ken themsel’,
But weel wat I they couldna bring 5
War sounds frae hell.

What de’il are ye? that I should bann,
Your neither kin to pat nor pan;
Nor ugly pig, nor maister-cann,
But weel may gie 10
Mair pleasure to the ear o’ man
Than stroke o’ thee.

Fleece merchants may look bald, I trow,
Since a’ Auld Reikie’s childer now
Maun stap their lugs wi’ teats o’ woo, 15
Thy sound to bang,
And keep it frae gawn thro’ and thro’
Wi’ jarrin’ twang.

Your noisy tongue, there’s nae abideint:
Like scaulding wife’s, there is nae guideint: 20
Whan I’m ’bout ony bus’ness eident,
It’s sair to thole;
To deave me, than, ye tak’ a pride in’t
Wi’ senseless knoll.

O! war I provost o’ the town, 25
I swear by a’ the pow’rs aboon,
I’d bring ye wi’ a reesle down;
Nor shud you think
(Sae sair I’d crack and clour your crown)
Again to clink. 30

For whan I’ve toom’d the muckle cap,
An’ fain wad fa’ owr in a nap,
Troth I could doze as soun’s a tap,
Wer’t na for thee,
That gies the tither weary chap 35
To waukin me.

I dreamt ae night I saw Auld Nick;
Quo he, ‘this bell o’ mine’s a trick,
A wylie piece o’ politic,
A cunnin’ snare 40
To trap fock in a cloven stick,
Ere they’re aware.

‘As lang’s my dautit bell hings there,
A’ body at the kirk will skair;
Quo they, gif he that preaches there 45
Like it can wound,
We douna care a single hair
For joyfu’ sound.’

If magistrates wi’ me wud’ gree,
For ay tongue-tackit shud you be, 50
Nor fleg wi’ anti-melody
Sic honest fock,
Whase lugs were never made to dree
Thy doolfu’ shock.

But far frae thee the bailies dwell, 55
Or they wud scunner at your knell,
Gie the foul thief his riven bell,
And than, I trow,
The by-word hads, ‘the de’il himsel’
Has got his due.’

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

An oasis of sanity.

Unlike this.

123, F the bourgeoisie
456, F the bourgeoisie

Great chant, followed by a literal reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee guy. Their arguments are so compelling.

The left has come so far from Little Rock in 1957.

[WTP]

Zionist Overlord,
A stab at Rabbie Burns? Yet lea'e us nought but grief an' pain.

[dave (no relation)]

I’ve been hanging around for awhile, finally hit the tip jar. Don’t stop doing what you’re doing here: it’s tough work, but I’m glad it’s being done.

[jabrwok]

A literary recommendation for those who've lost interest in video entertainments. The linked e-book is a classic fish-out-of-water story of a modern computer programmer thrust into Ragnarok and imbued with sorcerous powers and a mission to save a sexy young woman and her girlfriend, both of whom are very grateful and open-minded. Three books so far, with the fourth due out soon-ish.

[David]

Don’t stop doing what you’re doing here: it’s tough work, but I’m glad it’s being done.

[ Wipes sweat from brow, slumps on sofa, demands wine. ]

finally hit the tip jar.

May you never find yourself holding up the queue of a busy by-hand carwash because somebody, who will for now remain nameless, parked under a tree shedding vast quantities of sap, resulting in twenty minutes of soaping and buffing, several unhappy glances from other waiting customers, and a particularly generous tip.

[jabrwok]

May you never find yourself holding up the queue of a busy by-hand carwash because somebody, who will for now remain nameless, parked under a tree shedding vast quantities of sap, resulting in twenty minutes of soaping and buffing, several unhappy glances from other waiting customers, and a particularly generous tip.

These well-wishes are getting disturbingly incredibly detailed.

[David]

These well-wishes are getting disturbingly incredibly detailed.

Hey, I’m just sharing my day.

[Governor Squid]

Having once parked under the dirty pine tree at my parents' place, I was politely asked by the Lovely Bride if I wouldn't mind spending 30 or 40 minutes in the driveway with a towel and a bottle of rubbing alcohol. Good times...

Here's hoping you collect enough that you can treat the Other Half to a decent bottle of wine for a change, and not that budget stuff you pick from the bottom of the scratch-and-dent bin at Aldi.

[David]

the scratch-and-dent bin at Aldi.

[ Faints with indignation. ]

[Pogonip]

Busted!

[Hal]

the scratch-and-dent bin at Aldi.

[ Faints with indignation. ]

So, quit relying on indignation as a wine acquisition guide, as clearly that oddly named fellow has insufficient capability in selection quality.

[David]

Thanks again to all who’ve chipped in, or subscribed, or done shopping via the Amazon links. It’s much appreciated.

[ComputerLabRat]

Oops - accidentally clicked on the Amazon UK link to do some shopping, wondered why the prices looked a bit...off...doh!

[clicks the proper link, starts shopping]