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September 27, 2018

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Alice

29-year-old Calum James, who identifies as a heteroflexible pansexual solo polyamorous relationship anarchist.

Solo polyamorous?

David

Solo polyamorous?

Ah, but Mr James, our “relationship anarchist,” regards any intimate relationship, were he to actually have one, theoretically, as being “no more important” than any other kind of relationship – say, with friends, colleagues, fellow bus passengers, etc. Because these things are, we’re told, “the same.” And somehow, amazingly, this chap isn’t surrounded by adoring, devoted women (or indeed devoted men) and instead remains single. And spends his evenings defining himself.

I’m reminded of Laurie Penny, who boasted that, being so radically polyamorous, any suitors she might have are of no more importance than her collection of books.

Connor

Calum James, who identifies as a heteroflexible pansexual solo polyamorous relationship anarchist.

Is the Grauniad trolling its own readers now?

Captain Nemo

29-year-old Calum James, who identifies as a heteroflexible pansexual solo polyamorous relationship anarchist.

That's an awfully long-winded way of saying "pretentious wanker".

David

Is the Grauniad trolling its own readers now?

Given the default level of absurdity, I’m not sure how we’d know.

Arthur Teacake

solo polyamorous

Ambidextrous.

bilbaoboy

Now, now Arthur!
:-)

Frank

No idea what that little snippet means but the inclusion of solo makes it sound like he can't get laid.

David

No idea what that little snippet means but the inclusion of solo makes it sound like he can’t get laid.

I think he’s letting us know that he’s much more complicated and fascinating than we are.

R. Sherman

At some point, these people will wake up one morning and realize they're 50+ years old and are likely to die alone. Will The Guardian be coming around to do the "These People Discovered There's No Such Thing as Perpetual Adolescence" follow-ups?

Mr Andrew D Rowe

Chiara Giovanni, 24, is in a relationship with two people. Her partner Aditya Sharad, 23, is monogamous

I'd note that even you think you're being monogamous, if your partner is not, then you're fooling around with more than one person, by proxy. And with whoever they're fooling around with.

Joan

solo polyamorous relationship anarchist.

Talk about fishing without bait...

David

Talk about fishing without bait...

That’s the thing, I suppose. It’s not just the gratuitously complicated arrangements and the likelihood of jealousy, insecurity, resentment, etc. It’s also the fact that polyamory seems to attract exactly the kinds of people you’d do well to avoid.

prm

That's the thing, I suppose...you'd do well to avoid...

The world should be grateful to the polys. The more partners entwined together in a melange of disordered personalities, the less there are hanging about waiting to screw up people who want normal relationships.

Runcie Balspune

The world should be grateful to the polys. The more partners entwined together in a melange of disordered personalities, the less there are hanging about waiting to screw up people who want normal relationships.

That's all well and good until one of them gets an STD and spreads it around the whole group instantly.

Pst314

“What I love about polyamory is that I’m my own person and no one owns me. I don’t own any of you, either. We’re all free.”

Pretentious bullsh*t that was old in the 1960’s.

ComputerLabRat

I second Captain Nemo. Pretentious wanker indeed!

And they all have to announce and tell everybody about it. I wish they'd just be themselves, whatever that is today, and leave the rest of us out of it. But nooooo.

It's almost like that long-winded word salad of a title is just daring someone to get fed up with the whole bit and roll their eyes or something, so that the pretentious wanker can then scream "BIGOT! Something something soothing-phobe -ist!!" in self righteous, spittle-flecked rage.

Boatswain's Mate

I swear, the Graun (or any number of online "publications") reminds me of the old adverts for a brand of cassette tapes: "Is it live, or is it Memorex?" Except in these cases, it's more like, "Is this real, or is it a Poe?"

(Starting to feel old now, for some reason. I'll just have another drink, barman.)

David

[ Slides bizarrely elaborate cocktail along bar, followed by a curly straw. ]

Boatswain's Mate

Slides bizarrely elaborate cocktail along bar, followed by a curly straw

Good thing this establishment isn't in California, or our proprietor would be in the dock already.

Hopp Singg

Don't worry, the straws are ivory, not plastic.

Rob

who identifies as a heteroflexible pansexual solo polyamorous relationship anarchist.

But in fact his true identity is me me me me me me.

Criticas

Calum James, who identifies as a heteroflexible pansexual solo polyamorous relationship anarchist.

Is the Grauniad trolling its own readers now?

Poe's law is an adage of Internet culture stating that, without a clear indicator of the author's intent, it is impossible to create a parody of extreme views so obviously exaggerated that it cannot be mistaken by some readers for a sincere expression of the parodied views.

Adam

Or "James is insecure and indecisive. He has trouble settling down in a secure relationship with persons of the opposite sex. He lacks self-insight and uses intellectualization to hide from his anxieties."

Norm der Ploom

They’re gleefully sawing off the branch of the tree they are sitting on.

Burnsie

“I’ve had people saying to me, ‘You just want to fuck about!’”

And they would be right!

Hopp Singg

Mr. James' dating profile has been found:

Me: Polyamorist incel.
You: Not important.

David

You: Not important.

The claims of uniquely deep and meaningful relationships, supposedly arrived at via polyamory, don’t sit terribly well with the signature narcissism and selfishness, or the simultaneous claims of being “free” from conventional intimacies, which are, we’re told, burdensome and “no more important” than relationships with workmates or neighbours.

It sounds like a repertoire of shifting rationalisations.

Sam Duncan

“... who identifies as a heteroflexible pansexual solo polyamorous relationship anarchist.”

Well, that's nice for him.

“Will The Guardian be coming around to do the "These People Discovered There's No Such Thing as Perpetual Adolescence" follow-ups?”

But they won't come to that realisation. It'll be everyone else's fault, as usual.

“Pretentious bullsh*t that was old in the 1960’s.”

The 1920s, more like.

Sort-Of-Mad Max

Good thing this establishment isn't in California, or our proprietor would be in the dock already

Oh, banning straws in the US is so last month.

This month the insane group-think zealot crowd is trying to ban Brett Kavanaugh.

pst314

The claims of uniquely deep and meaningful relationships, supposedly arrived at via polyamory...

I once knew a boots-and-jeans-wearing lesbian who would talk about her one night stands. She'd pick a woman up in a bar, take her home for sex and never see her again. She insisted, between drags on her cigarette, that these were deep and meaningful interactions.

Daniel Ream

The claims of uniquely deep and meaningful relationships, supposedly arrived at via polyamory, don’t sit terribly well with the signature narcissism and selfishness

As a general rule, if you tune out what people say and pay attention to what they actually do, you won't be distracted by their excuses and rationalizations.

Captain Nemo

I second Captain Nemo.

Barkeep, a drink for the lady. This one's on me.

Chester Draws

I'm with Daniel on this one. Watch what they do. What they say isn't any guide at all.

I've got a friend that votes Green, but flies around the world every year. It's no use arguing with him about it -- his conscience is clear.

Spiny Norman

He lacks self-insight and uses intellectualization to hide from his anxieties

Dinsdale?

David

This one’s on me.

One crushed ice and Night Nurse coming up.

Pogonip

Chester, don’t his arms get tired? 😊

Black Ball

'Away from the footy field and on the handball court, Mouncey said, she is just like everyone else.'
Somewhat related, although Mr Mouncey isn't like everybody else. Being 6 2 and 100kgs on the footy field with petite young lasses sort of makes you stand out on the ground. So much so that Mr Mouncey was ruled ineligible for the women's football. Back to handball for Mr Mouncey. With the ladies of course.
https://www.google.com.au/amp/amp.abc.net.au/article/9801956

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