They’re Having A Cultural Moment
September 27, 2018
“I’ve had people saying to me, ‘You just want to fuck about!’” says 29-year-old Calum James, who identifies as a heteroflexible pansexual solo polyamorous relationship anarchist.
“I’ve had people saying to me, ‘You just want to fuck about!’” says 29-year-old Calum James, who identifies as a heteroflexible pansexual solo polyamorous relationship anarchist.
The comments to this entry are closed.
29-year-old Calum James, who identifies as a heteroflexible pansexual solo polyamorous relationship anarchist.
Solo polyamorous?
Posted by: Alice | September 27, 2018 at 08:37
Solo polyamorous?
Ah, but Mr James, our “relationship anarchist,” regards any intimate relationship, were he to actually have one, theoretically, as being “no more important” than any other kind of relationship – say, with friends, colleagues, fellow bus passengers, etc. Because these things are, we’re told, “the same.” And somehow, amazingly, this chap isn’t surrounded by adoring, devoted women (or indeed devoted men) and instead remains single. And spends his evenings defining himself.
I’m reminded of Laurie Penny, who boasted that, being so radically polyamorous, any suitors she might have are of no more importance than her collection of books.
Posted by: David | September 27, 2018 at 08:49
Calum James, who identifies as a heteroflexible pansexual solo polyamorous relationship anarchist.
Is the Grauniad trolling its own readers now?
Posted by: Connor | September 27, 2018 at 09:51
29-year-old Calum James, who identifies as a heteroflexible pansexual solo polyamorous relationship anarchist.
That's an awfully long-winded way of saying "pretentious wanker".
Posted by: Captain Nemo | September 27, 2018 at 09:53
Is the Grauniad trolling its own readers now?
Given the default level of absurdity, I’m not sure how we’d know.
Posted by: David | September 27, 2018 at 09:54
solo polyamorous
Ambidextrous.
Posted by: Arthur Teacake | September 27, 2018 at 10:01
Now, now Arthur!
:-)
Posted by: bilbaoboy | September 27, 2018 at 10:33
No idea what that little snippet means but the inclusion of solo makes it sound like he can't get laid.
Posted by: Frank | September 27, 2018 at 11:23
No idea what that little snippet means but the inclusion of solo makes it sound like he can’t get laid.
I think he’s letting us know that he’s much more complicated and fascinating than we are.
Posted by: David | September 27, 2018 at 11:28
At some point, these people will wake up one morning and realize they're 50+ years old and are likely to die alone. Will The Guardian be coming around to do the "These People Discovered There's No Such Thing as Perpetual Adolescence" follow-ups?
Posted by: R. Sherman | September 27, 2018 at 11:51
Chiara Giovanni, 24, is in a relationship with two people. Her partner Aditya Sharad, 23, is monogamous
I'd note that even you think you're being monogamous, if your partner is not, then you're fooling around with more than one person, by proxy. And with whoever they're fooling around with.
Posted by: Mr Andrew D Rowe | September 27, 2018 at 12:10
solo polyamorous relationship anarchist.
Talk about fishing without bait...
Posted by: Joan | September 27, 2018 at 12:26
Talk about fishing without bait...
That’s the thing, I suppose. It’s not just the gratuitously complicated arrangements and the likelihood of jealousy, insecurity, resentment, etc. It’s also the fact that polyamory seems to attract exactly the kinds of people you’d do well to avoid.
Posted by: David | September 27, 2018 at 12:36
That's the thing, I suppose...you'd do well to avoid...
The world should be grateful to the polys. The more partners entwined together in a melange of disordered personalities, the less there are hanging about waiting to screw up people who want normal relationships.
Posted by: prm | September 27, 2018 at 13:09
The world should be grateful to the polys. The more partners entwined together in a melange of disordered personalities, the less there are hanging about waiting to screw up people who want normal relationships.
That's all well and good until one of them gets an STD and spreads it around the whole group instantly.
Posted by: Runcie Balspune | September 27, 2018 at 13:28
“What I love about polyamory is that I’m my own person and no one owns me. I don’t own any of you, either. We’re all free.”
Pretentious bullsh*t that was old in the 1960’s.
Posted by: Pst314 | September 27, 2018 at 13:35
I second Captain Nemo. Pretentious wanker indeed!
And they all have to announce and tell everybody about it. I wish they'd just be themselves, whatever that is today, and leave the rest of us out of it. But nooooo.
It's almost like that long-winded word salad of a title is just daring someone to get fed up with the whole bit and roll their eyes or something, so that the pretentious wanker can then scream "BIGOT! Something something soothing-phobe -ist!!" in self righteous, spittle-flecked rage.
Posted by: ComputerLabRat | September 27, 2018 at 13:49
I swear, the Graun (or any number of online "publications") reminds me of the old adverts for a brand of cassette tapes: "Is it live, or is it Memorex?" Except in these cases, it's more like, "Is this real, or is it a Poe?"
(Starting to feel old now, for some reason. I'll just have another drink, barman.)
Posted by: Boatswain's Mate | September 27, 2018 at 14:07
[ Slides bizarrely elaborate cocktail along bar, followed by a curly straw. ]
Posted by: David | September 27, 2018 at 14:21
Slides bizarrely elaborate cocktail along bar, followed by a curly straw
Good thing this establishment isn't in California, or our proprietor would be in the dock already.
Posted by: Boatswain's Mate | September 27, 2018 at 14:31
Don't worry, the straws are ivory, not plastic.
Posted by: Hopp Singg | September 27, 2018 at 14:38
who identifies as a heteroflexible pansexual solo polyamorous relationship anarchist.
But in fact his true identity is me me me me me me.
Posted by: Rob | September 27, 2018 at 14:41
Calum James, who identifies as a heteroflexible pansexual solo polyamorous relationship anarchist.
Is the Grauniad trolling its own readers now?
Poe's law is an adage of Internet culture stating that, without a clear indicator of the author's intent, it is impossible to create a parody of extreme views so obviously exaggerated that it cannot be mistaken by some readers for a sincere expression of the parodied views.
Posted by: Criticas | September 27, 2018 at 14:59
Or "James is insecure and indecisive. He has trouble settling down in a secure relationship with persons of the opposite sex. He lacks self-insight and uses intellectualization to hide from his anxieties."
Posted by: Adam | September 27, 2018 at 15:15
They’re gleefully sawing off the branch of the tree they are sitting on.
Posted by: Norm der Ploom | September 27, 2018 at 15:21
“I’ve had people saying to me, ‘You just want to fuck about!’”
And they would be right!
Posted by: Burnsie | September 27, 2018 at 15:37
Mr. James' dating profile has been found:
Me: Polyamorist incel.
You: Not important.
Posted by: Hopp Singg | September 27, 2018 at 16:56
You: Not important.
The claims of uniquely deep and meaningful relationships, supposedly arrived at via polyamory, don’t sit terribly well with the signature narcissism and selfishness, or the simultaneous claims of being “free” from conventional intimacies, which are, we’re told, burdensome and “no more important” than relationships with workmates or neighbours.
It sounds like a repertoire of shifting rationalisations.
Posted by: David | September 27, 2018 at 17:08
“... who identifies as a heteroflexible pansexual solo polyamorous relationship anarchist.”
Well, that's nice for him.
“Will The Guardian be coming around to do the "These People Discovered There's No Such Thing as Perpetual Adolescence" follow-ups?”
But they won't come to that realisation. It'll be everyone else's fault, as usual.
“Pretentious bullsh*t that was old in the 1960’s.”
The 1920s, more like.
Posted by: Sam Duncan | September 27, 2018 at 17:19
Good thing this establishment isn't in California, or our proprietor would be in the dock already
Oh, banning straws in the US is so last month.
This month the insane group-think zealot crowd is trying to ban Brett Kavanaugh.
Posted by: Sort-Of-Mad Max | September 27, 2018 at 17:25
The claims of uniquely deep and meaningful relationships, supposedly arrived at via polyamory...
I once knew a boots-and-jeans-wearing lesbian who would talk about her one night stands. She'd pick a woman up in a bar, take her home for sex and never see her again. She insisted, between drags on her cigarette, that these were deep and meaningful interactions.
Posted by: pst314 | September 27, 2018 at 17:38
The claims of uniquely deep and meaningful relationships, supposedly arrived at via polyamory, don’t sit terribly well with the signature narcissism and selfishness
As a general rule, if you tune out what people say and pay attention to what they actually do, you won't be distracted by their excuses and rationalizations.
Posted by: Daniel Ream | September 27, 2018 at 18:12
I second Captain Nemo.
Barkeep, a drink for the lady. This one's on me.
Posted by: Captain Nemo | September 27, 2018 at 20:15
I'm with Daniel on this one. Watch what they do. What they say isn't any guide at all.
I've got a friend that votes Green, but flies around the world every year. It's no use arguing with him about it -- his conscience is clear.
Posted by: Chester Draws | September 27, 2018 at 20:27
He lacks self-insight and uses intellectualization to hide from his anxieties
Dinsdale?
Posted by: Spiny Norman | September 27, 2018 at 20:32
This one’s on me.
One crushed ice and Night Nurse coming up.
Posted by: David | September 27, 2018 at 21:20
Chester, don’t his arms get tired? 😊
Posted by: Pogonip | September 27, 2018 at 23:47
'Away from the footy field and on the handball court, Mouncey said, she is just like everyone else.'
Somewhat related, although Mr Mouncey isn't like everybody else. Being 6 2 and 100kgs on the footy field with petite young lasses sort of makes you stand out on the ground. So much so that Mr Mouncey was ruled ineligible for the women's football. Back to handball for Mr Mouncey. With the ladies of course.
https://www.google.com.au/amp/amp.abc.net.au/article/9801956
Posted by: Black Ball | September 27, 2018 at 23:58