David Thompson
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October 28, 2018

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Joan

Pinged. :-)

David

Bless you, madam. May your liquitabs always disintegrate properly, even on a cool wash, and never cling to the washer door as a rubbery, snot-like residue.

Andrew

You'll be happy to hear my wife is using your Amazon link for some early Christmas shopping.

God help me.

David

God help me.

Please thank your dear wife. And remind her to write a list. We don’t want her to forget anything, especially if it’s expensive.

Y. Knott

Pinged

And - why oh WHY, did I click on that other link? AAAUGH! MY EYES! Yeah yeah I know, "No refunds..." ;)

David

Pinged

May your 2-litre bottles of carbonated water retain their pleasing gaseousness until the last drop.

David

why oh WHY, did I click on that other link?

You’d think you’d have learned by now.

Y. Knott

Sorry - you've got me all fillosofickul:

"Man, unique among animals for his ability to learn from experience, is also remarkable for his stubborn refusal to do so."

- or in the words of Calvin { - and Hobbes - }, "Careful - we don't want to learn from this!"

H

Tip jar hit. Thanks for the laughs (and the game tips).

David

Tip jar hit.

May your 2-litre bottles of carbonated water never defy opening, prompting epithets and much exertion, and then vigorously expel their contents over every nearby surface, including the recently prepared sandwich you were planning to have for lunch.

David

Modern academia. Where, if you want to know your exam results, you will first be insulted in the name of feminism.

Via Julia.

R. Sherman

Re: Julia's link

So, to see one's exam results, one is forced to complete a training session on . . .consent?

David

So, to see one’s exam results, one is forced to complete a training session on . . . consent?

Today’s word is irony.

Today’s other word is shameless.

Captain Nemo

I have pinged across a small token of appreciation. Thanks for the laughs. And for putting up with the occasional less-than-stellar pun/joke I may make...

David

I have pinged across a small token of appreciation.

May you never be watched with amusement while doing the ironing.

David

And for putting up with the occasional less-than-stellar pun/joke I may make...

But don’t think we’ve forgiven you for the organ joke of last month.

Gerry

Curious David, why you don't have an Amazon.ca link as well. I do a lot of buying there.

David

why you don’t have an Amazon.ca link as well?

I was trying to minimise the faff of having multiple accounts, but given the level of traffic from Canada, it may be worth considering. Will mull.

Daniel Ream

you don't have an Amazon.ca link as well. I do a lot of buying there.

Ditto. Amazon Prime Canada was a no-brainer purchase for me, but Amazon also makes it very difficult to harmonize their different regions so I understand the extra effort involved to manage the different channels.

Captain Nemo

But don’t think we’ve forgiven you for the organ joke of last month.

I didn't think you HAD forgiven me. This can of Oust is running perilously low...

David

Ditto. Amazon Prime Canada was a no-brainer purchase for me,

I’m working on setting up an Amazon.ca account as I type - or rather, The Other Half is doing it for me. Canadian readers, please have your debit cards and shopping lists on hot stand-by.

David

For Amazon.ca, please use this link.

dcardno

For Amazon.ca, please use this link.

Putting it up on the sidebar with the Amazon.com link would help, David.

David

Putting it up on the sidebar with the Amazon.com link would help, David.

Done. It’s just below the UK widget and US link, top right. I’ve updated the main post accordingly.

Now shop ye, shop like the wind.

Em

Thanks, David.

*kerching*

David

*kerching*

Bless you, madam. May you never find your tea towel damp and malodorous.

Fay

Yay, Amazom.ca at last. I shop a lot there, you're about to become a rich man!

David

[ Flicks through catalogue of diamond shoes. ]

Y. Knott

[ Flicks through catalogue of diamond shoes. ]

Whahhuh? Diamonds don't have legs; ergo, no feet. Whaddo they need shoes for???

Although you are very nice to provide them - maybe Max Headroom's would fit...

Farnsworth M Muldoon

The Party of Science™ !

WTP

A tuppence. If my ship ever gets in I'll ping you harder before Christmas. Not to be presumptuous...

David

A tuppence.

May your liking for indecently ripe cheeses never result in domestic friction, thanks to a discreet but effective fridge deodoriser.

Daniel Ream

For Amazon.ca, please use this link.

I'm trying to puzzle out how this works; Amazon's annoying little regionalisms are irritating.

That link contains your affiliate tag but it looks like if I start searching around inside Amazon.ca, the link back to your affiliate account gets lost. Thus denying you your 10% of the retail value of a copy of Terraforming Mars.

R. Sherman

@WTP

I responded to your last comment in the prior thread. Your comments are thought-provoking.

Simon T

Just please don't open a Patreon account, or you'll be one of THEM

Clam

"I wanted to do something controversial"

https://www.dailywire.com/news/37687/woman-who-had-belly-button-removed-says-she-joseph-curl

I've bunged a few quid in the jar.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

May you never be watched with amusement while doing the ironing.

LOL

Tip jar hit.

David

I’ve bunged a few quid in the jar.

Tip jar hit.

Thanks, and thanks. May you always have lens wipes handy when you discover that your IMAX 3D glasses are smeared with what appears to be cheesy nacho residue.

“I wanted to do something controversial”

It almost works as a metaphor for an awful lot of woke politics.

David

“I wanted to do something controversial”

Not entirely unrelated, the woke world of Teen Vogue:

Via Damian.

David

And speaking of Teen Vogue, I’ll just leave this here.

I’m still processing the concept of a “woke” publication for self-styled “activists” who are in their twenties and saddled with debt from choosing worthless Clown Quarter degrees, but still act like teenage girls, and who simultaneously believe that Marxism was a benign historical phenomenon with no downside worth acknowledging, and that Kim Kardashian’s $7000 Gucci outfit is totes amazeballs.

We live in strange times.

[+]

who simultaneously believe that Marxism was a benign historical phenomenon with no downside worth acknowledging, and that Kim Kardashian’s $7000 Gucci outfit is totes amazeballs.

'Luxury communism'.

Anthony

In 1 year, Teen Vogue's readership nearly halved. Less than 5% of their audience consists of actual teenagers.

Get woke, go broke.

Quids incoming.

Alice

Less than 5% of their audience consists of actual teenagers.

What kind of adult buys teen magazines?

Alice

Ping.

David

Ping.

Quids incoming.

Thanks, and thanks. May your pasta never be overcooked or inadequately drained.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

"I wanted to do something controversial"

So she had her belly button removed because, as she said, it's "what makes us human."

No, it marks you as being a placental mammal and not a platypus.

What kind of adult buys teen magazines?

David

Heh. Again, metaphor.

David

‘Luxury communism’.

As opposed to, you know, actual communism.

McN

Have one yourself, barkeep. :-)

Jen

Tattooist of note.

Pinged!

David

Have one yourself, barkeep. :-)

Pinged!

Thanks, and thanks. May your loyalty card points accumulate in a pleasingly brisk manner.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

All kinds of cultural appropriation going on with this costume.

David

All kinds of cultural appropriation going on with this costume.

I’m… not familiar with the kind of thing I’m seeing.

Daniel Ream

“I wanted to do something controversial”

Seems like a lot of excuse-making for getting a tummy tuck.

Daniel Ream

self-styled “activists” who are in their twenties and saddled with debt from choosing worthless Clown Quarter degrees, but still act like teenage girls

What kind of adult buys teen magazines?

The same kind that still references Harry Potter and Star Wars in political protests, that engages in theatrical fake screaming at inaugural announcements, that wears knitted vagina hats because that will somehow smash something-or-other.

In short, people who refuse to grow up and who have never been placed in circumstances that require them to.

R. Sherman

Our national nightmare is over.

Fred the Fourth

Borat, david.

Hal

I’m… not familiar with the kind of thing I’m seeing.

Always happy to oblige . . .

Hal

Our national nightmare is over.

Wow. That took guts. A lot of guts.

Fred the Fourth

Ping!

David

In short, people who refuse to grow up and who have never been placed in circumstances that require them to.

Or as Teen Vogue’s editor Elaine Welteroth put it, her readers are “woke” and “would all consider themselves activists.”

It’s telling that a venture hailed by the Guardian as “serious journalism” and a “voice for the Resistance,” and described as “lucrative,” should prove to be so commercially disastrous, with its print edition folding less than two months later, and should also be so illustrative of glib obliviousness and psychological dysfunction. From an eye-widening ignorance of Twentieth Century history to triumphantly sexualising nine-year-old children.

David

Ping!

May you be spared the faff and drama of trying to retrieve an escaped hamster from the back of a cupboard underneath the sink, where, coincidentally, there is a large bag of hamster food.

Rafi

It’s telling that a venture hailed by the Guardian as “serious journalism” and a “voice for the Resistance,” and described as “lucrative,” should prove to be so commercially disastrous, with its print edition folding less than two months later

LOL. The Grauniad always picks winners. :-D

David

The Grauniad always picks winners. :-D

I’m still reeling from the shocking, totally unanticipated closure of the Guardian’s own high-tech “data-driven” Shoreditch coffee shop, which opened without wi-fi. If only they could have sold those 30,000 coffees a day.

Ted S., Catskill Mtns., NY, USA

Our national nightmare is over.

The World Series ended Sunday night, R. Sherman.

David

And our topic for today

dw

I'm surprised you don't use twitter.

David

I’m surprised you don’t use twitter.

Aside from the disagreeable politics of the platform’s management, and the selective censoriousness, the format just doesn’t suit what I want to do. I can be a bit of a gasbag, so 280 characters doesn’t cut it. If you’ve got a blog with a decent commentariat, where discussions can run for hundreds of comments, often of some length, with endless tangents and annotations, Twitter just seems… inadequate. Also, if I had a Twitter account, I’d end up being obliged either to ignore replies or to repeat in truncated form exchanges that we’re already having here, which would be tedious and impractical, and all but impossible to keep track of.

Jonathan

" Here you are young (young!) fella me lad, don't spend it all on booze...."

(throws some old French Francs, Deutschmarks and Spanish Pesetas in hat..)

David

throws some old French Francs, Deutschmarks and Spanish Pesetas in hat...

And, I see, a glass eye. Is that a tooth? It’s still warm.

May you know the simple pleasure of feeding a pair of badgers from an upstairs window, much to the bewilderment of a neighbour, for whom it appears you’re throwing leftovers into the garden under cover of darkness and quietly chuckling.

Captain Nemo

Not entirely unrelated, the woke world of Teen Vogue:

Well, I'm shocked. Who'd have thought printing masochistic self-abasement in place of fashion tips in an ostensible fashion magazine would lead to a decline in sales?

Toxteth O'Grady

Because you're worth it.

Pete

No ads! Tip jar hit. :-)

David

Tip jar hit. :-)

Because you’re worth it.

I know, I really am. And thanks to you both. May your secret vice of an occasional Pot Noodle be upgraded to a secret vice of an occasional Nong Shim Shin Cup, which is much classier and way more flavoursome.

Toxteth O'Grady

I've got a vice for the Ko Lee Hot and Spicy that you find in shops of disrepute. Because I am worth it.

Toxteth O'Grady

So I bought a box of Nong Shim. I shall see how the image on the packaging compares to the reality.

David

So I bought a box of Nong Shim. I shall see how the image on the packaging compares to the reality.

That’s the spirit. Once they’ve seethed for a couple of minutes, they’re actually quite good, for a zero-effort feeding. I’ve just noticed that on Amazon, beneath the photo of these instant noodles, it says, “gift-wrap available.”

Which for some reason made me laugh.

Toxteth O'Grady

Which for some reason made me laugh

At least you know now what you're getting for Chriiiiiiistmas

Farnsworth M Muldoon

Once they’ve seethed for a couple of minutes, they’re actually quite good, for a zero-effort feeding.

If you like that sort of thing, give these a go. You can adjust the spiciness by how much bibimbap sauce you add, plus they come with spoons...

David

plus they come with spoons...

If that’s not a clincher, I don’t know what is.

Toxteth O'Grady

plus they come with spoons...

Too posh for me. I'm out.

Toxteth O'Grady

Fucking hell I've only gone and ordered some of those as well.
Does anyone have and uncle who has 120 million dollars trapped in a Nigerioan bank account?

Farnsworth M Muldoon

Fucking hell I've only gone and ordered some of those as well.

Not to worry, you'll thank me.

Boatswain's Mate

Contribution towards another kitchen flame-thrower or some other culinary dust magnet added.

(Goes back to flipping beer mats. Up to 10 at a time now.)

R. Sherman

Not to worry, you'll thank me.

Alas, it appears they don't ship to the U.S. Too bad, really. I like Korean food, cultural appropriation be damned.

David

Coincidentally, guess what was just delivered.

You wish you had my glamorous life.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

Alas, it appears they don't ship to the U.S.

Not to worry, Amazon US&A has them.

Toxteth O'Grady

Not to worry, you'll thank me

I'm still hoping that you own an airline that can fly me to Nigerioa.
Is it just me, or does predictive text get worse every update?

David

I’m hoping this develops into some kind of Amazon shopping frenzy.

David

Contribution towards another kitchen flame-thrower or some other culinary dust magnet added.

Bless you. May you never misjudge the amount of “flavour sachet” to add to your Nong Shim Shin Cup, resulting in numb lips, loss of voice and temporary disorientation.

Toxteth O'Grady

resulting in numb lips, loss of voice and temporary disorientation

fnarr

Farnsworth M Muldoon

I'm still hoping that you own an airline that can fly me to Nigerioa.

The truth is I am a Nigerian Prince, and I have $25,000,000 in a Swiss account I would like to share with you. I just need some information about your bank account.

Boatswain's Mate

resulting in numb lips, loss of voice and temporary disorientation.

Not to mention the complete inability to successfully flip and catch even one beer mat.

(The horror. The horror.)

David

fnarr

It’s a quick and tasty meal, and a viable chemical weapon.

Toxteth O'Grady

The truth is I am a Nigerian Prince, and I have $25,000,000 in a Swiss account I would like to share with you. I just need some information about your bank account.

Seems legit. Have my deets.

R. Sherman

Farnsworth, I spoke too soon and discovered the U.S. link.

As long as we're on the subject, I find a couple of pounds of skinless chicken thighs or a good pork tenderloin with Korean BBQ sauce allowed to brood in a slow cooker really spanks it. Shred and serve on tortillas, Naan or pita with a spicy slaw and you'll have hair on your saddle horn in no time.

John D

It’s a quick and tasty meal, and a viable chemical weapon.

I was going to try one but I'm not sure now...

David

I was going to try one but I’m not sure now...

It occurs to me I could hand them out to trick-or-treaters instead of the jelly snakes I bought yesterday, and which now look too good to waste on children. “Don’t worry, kids. The hallucinations will pass.”

Boatswain's Mate

This is probably better left for Friday's Ephemera, but that's an awfully long way away.

Leftist Douchery Roundup

From Darleen's blog

Pogonip

At the milestone of comment 100, I give you the Ultimate Everyday Feminism Headline:

https://everydayfeminism.com/2018/10/6-tips-for-making-your-conversations-about-reproductive-rights-more-trans-inclusive/

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