Feel Free To Clench Your Buttocks

It’s four minutes long and somewhat alarming: 

Via Neatorama.

Comments

[John D]

Thanks for the nightmares I'm now going to have.

[David]

“I will go hang gliding again as I did not get to enjoy my first flight.”

[R. Sherman]

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too...

Rudyard Kipling, "If"

[Clam]

Bloody hell. Good job he's got a strong grip.

[Eagle]

Something makes me suspect the narrator is not an SJW.

[David]

And for those who missed it, from a recent batch of Friday Ephemera.

[Onlybecause12]

Happened in BC a few years back..Passenger died.

[Kevin]

He should have let go of the pilot, and centered himself on the front bar. That would have allowed the pilot to more fully control the aircraft. What he was going was consistently causing the aircraft to pitch left, and it delayed the landing by a good margin. This was the second best option, after realizing too late that you are not strapped in, suppressing your panic, and you are already more than 20 feet off the ground.

The absolute best thing to do, would have been to let go IMMEDIATELY the second he realized he was not strapped in at takeoff. Before the aircraft had picked up speed or altitude. Bailing at 5 or 10 feet off the ground, and at the slower velocity would have been the zero drama option.

Panic is your enemy in every situation.

[R. Sherman]

I'm thinking the Carmina Burana would be a good soundtrack for that video.

[Kevin]

Yeah, he could have fairly safely bailed any time before they passed that barn, and he realized very early on he was not strapped in... Looks like he had about 3 seconds to make that initial decision. Understandable that it was not made quickly enough.

[R. Sherman]

The absolute best thing to do, would have been to let go IMMEDIATELY the second he realized he was not strapped in at takeoff.

Spot-on. An early bail-out is better in all circumstances.

[Monty James]

I though of this soundtrack:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1iyJq-aNRU

[David]

He should have let go of the pilot, and centred himself on the front bar. That would have allowed the pilot to more fully control the aircraft.

I’m sure you’re right – hence, presumably, the “Getting higher… not good!” moment. But it was the chap’s first time on a hang glider, and it’s not the kind of thing you expect to have to deal with when you’re on holiday. I think we can cut him a little slack.

Besides, I suspect his dear wife will have had some thoughts to share, possibly at some length.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

There is a reason real pros do pre-flights.

[Fahrenheit211]

Eeek! That was indeed a buttock clenching moment. He is very very lucky to be alive.

[Y. Knott]

- Or as the official motto of the Official Monster Raving Loony Party would have it, "If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!"

[Sam Duncan]

Duly clenched. Bloody hell. And people wonder why I'm the “indoorsy” type.

[Fred the Fourth]

"The superior pilot uses superior planning and management to avoid having to use superior flying skills."
NASA Chief Test Pilot, Ames Flight Research Center,
c. 1975

[Adam]

Who is responsible for making sure the harness is attached on the novice? Certainly, a properly witnessed liability release was executed beforehand.

Asking for a ‘slip and fall’ attorney friend.

[Patrick Brown]

I think it'll take me til at least Thursday to coax my testicles back down from my chest cavity.

[Y. Knott]

- Just finally got to watch it. He.
Done.
GOOD!!!!!!

[PiperPaul]

"buttock clenching moment"

Doesn't "buttock" have to be plural? If there was only one it wouldn't work so well. Not sure how three would work either.

[David]

Not sure how three would work either.

The image of a tricuspid valve comes to mind. Though I’m not sure which way up it would have to go.

I may be giving this more thought than is strictly necessary.

[LAG]

Take a little personal responsibility. If you're leaving the ground in (or near) some contraption or another, make sure you're attached to said contraption. (Me, my seat belt, my seat, the airplane, etc.) Four eyes on the checklist, people!

[Watchman]

“I will go hang gliding again as I did not get to enjoy my first flight.”

Some people are slow learners - is he going to ask for another untethered flight, but one where he is a bit better prepared and hanging on more centrally so the pilot can better control the hang glider?

Unlike the movies, most people can't hold on for over two minutes - I guess that extra adrenaline really helps. A quick search indicates 60 seconds is about the limit for bodybuilding and apparently there is a sideshow game that tests people's ability: £50 for hanging 2 minutes: http://runningbygeorge.com/overestimating-ability-bar-hanging/ Even Mythbusters did some testing about how long people could hang from a ledge ("Cliff Hanger" test). This hang gliding guy was really, really lucky to still be alive.

Next year: Holiday in Vietnam and faithfully reproducing the scene with the pistol game with real pistol and live ammunition from the The Deer Hunter (1978) movie.

[Richard Cranium]

Easier to play "Beer Hunter": Take one can out of a six-pack and shake it very hard. Mix the cans up and pick one. Hold up to the side of your head when you open it.

[R. Sherman]

@Richard Cranium

Don't forget to have your drunken friends standing around waving fists full of Monopoly money as they scream, "Mao, Mao, Mao" repeatedly. It's in the rules. You can look it up.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

...as they scream, "Mao, Mao, Mao"...

Màu ! Not to be overly pedantic, but in the spirit of properly appropriating culture, Vietnamese for quick, quickly, or fast. One of the classic words stolen form furriners that was standard GI vocabulary, but has faded a bit as opposed to, for example, "hootch" which is still a classic.

[Joe Mack]

Looked liked a good reduction and fixation from the xray.
An ankle or knee if he had fallen would not be so good.
In America, I would know him as Rich Man who Fell to Earth. Not sure about Swiss equivalent.

[DaveS]

I’d sue that pilot into oblivion. He had a duty to keep you safe first of all.

[R. Sherman]

Not to be overly pedantic . . .

Nice try. :)

[Account I. Bility]

Beat the shit out of whomever was in charge of that clip, promotes accountability.

[R. Sherman]

Hide the women and kids & bury the silver in the back yard. . .

[Spiny Norman]

Watchman,

Unlike the movies, most people can't hold on for over two minutes - I guess that extra adrenaline really helps.

Well, he did say he tore a ligament in the effort. I'd say his will to live outlasted ordinary physical endurance.

[Watchman]

Instead of the witnesses shouting "Mao, Mao, Mao" why not "Doom On You"? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ay9o-r3Y4dc

After all, wouldn't it be language-appropriate for Vietnam. https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Doom%20on%20you