Friday Ephemera

A switched-on hepcat works her sweater like a pro. (h/t, Damian) || His handmade paper toys are better than yours. || Some people are just hard to please. || Woke pattern of note. || Bookcase inserts. || Minimals. || Manufacturing pencils. || Always respect the media. || The Manhoff Archives: Stalin’s Soviet Union in colour. (h/t, Coudal) || A (fairly) brief guide to flu jabs. || An unexpected turn of events. || Scenes. || This. || Twisted knickers. || As we’ve seen, repeatedly, Shoreditch is vibrant and diverse. || Darts post-game interview of note. || Real-time orbit in high definition. || And via Monty James, it turns out men have always wanted their own “imperceptible” foundation and waterproof eyebrow pencils.

Comments

[Hector Drummond, Vile Novelist]

Hobo Hieroglyphs:
https://www.popularmechanics.com/technology/a25174860/hobo-code/

[Captain Nemo]

"Brown trousers moment" compilation of note: https://twitter.com/WorldOfSporf/status/1065552368740245504

[pst314]

what a rocket launch looks like from the International Space Station:
https://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/9zgyim/heres_what_a_rocket_launch_looks_like_from_the/

[Sam Duncan]

“A switched-on hepcat works her sweater like a pro.”

Knowing this blog, I was expecting... I don't know... something else. Pleasantly surprised. Groovy, baby.

“[A]m I alone in finding this, their major window display, completely vomit inducing?"

Apart from a few other nuts and cranks... er, yeah, pretty much.

I'm not sure this quite counts as a “He does this better than you” (although he does), but we've come a hell of a long way from The Art Studio on the Sinclair Spectrum.

[Darleen]

Happy Thanksgiving and hope you're ignoring the dishes in the kitchen while comfortably enjoying the rest of your evening.

I'm happy to say family traditions continue -- small blast from the past.

[R. Shermlan]

Thanks for sharing that, Darleen!

[[+]]

Scenes.

Mounted police.

[Mags]

Some people are just hard to please.

But I've been told the 'LGBTQ+ community' is all about being inclusive and diverse.

[David]

Morning, all.

Knowing this blog, I was expecting... I don’t know... something else. Pleasantly surprised. Groovy, baby.

That’s exactly how I glide into the kitchen to make coffee every morning, high on the thrill of another day’s blogging.

[Tim Newman]

"Using a single thread roughly 1-2 km long (0.6 – 1.2 mi), Petros Vrellis continuously wraps the thread in straight, continuous lines, from one peg to its direct opposite peg in a circular, 28″ loom with 200 evenly spaced anchor pegs on its circumference. Thus each artwork is made from 3,000 – 4,000 continuously intersecting straight lines of a single thread."

Here: https://twistedsifter.com/2017/11/renaissance-portraits-made-from-single-thread-on-circular-loom/

[David]

Mounted police.

Horses strike me as strange animals. They’re big, very powerful, and spend much of their time looking utterly inert. You can watch them standing in a field and see no evidence of activity at all, for ages. Maybe we’ve bred the brains out of them.

Either way, you don’t want to find yourself in, er, that position.

[sH2]

Always respect the media.

Like attracts like.

[David]

Like attracts like.

It does seem to be a convergence of impervious stupidity. And I suppose “You’re Sagittarius and therefore these are your defining attributes…” is next of kin to “You’re black and therefore these are your defining attributes.”

Still, at least we can now marvel at the term “social justice astrologer.”

[David]

There is something not quite right about a grown man who clamours for attention as if he were a teenager on Instagram.

Tim Newman, here.

[Jonathan]

Think you had a tough gym session? You're just weak...

http://twitter.com/kwilli1046/status/1065770935142268929

[Fen Tiger]

Think you had a tough gym session?

She has really impressive balance...

But such things are possible: Alan Burrough lost a leg in the Western Desert, and went on to contest at least one rowing final at Henley Royal. In the 1980s, a man from one of the London clubs appeared there several times in decent crews: he had a wasted leg (polio, perhaps) that lolled against the side of the boat. Their core strength (and leg strength!) must have been astounding, to work with such intensity down a 2,000m+ course.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

One of those days.

[Ten]

how I glide into the kitchen

If not an original phrase that's an original picture, David, yet somehow faintly familiar.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

Really big screen vour your viewing pleasure.

[Ted S., Catskill Mtns., NY, USA]

“A switched-on hepcat works her sweater like a pro.”

Knowing this blog, I was expecting... I don't know... something else. Pleasantly surprised. Groovy, baby.

I was expecting Phillipa Fallon from High School Confidential!

[Mike]

Darts post-game interview of note.

15 pints of lager will do that.

I've heard.

[pst314]

High School Confidential!

My God, what a spoiled little child she is, whining about the horror in living with more freedom and wealth than was ever known before.

[pst314]

Unleash the ducks!
https://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/9yirts/unleash_the_ducks/

[JuliaM]

"Either way, you don’t want to find yourself in, er, that position."

Unless you are Catherine the Great. Allegedly!

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

My God, what a spoiled little child she is...

...tomorrow is a great big bust...

Why yes she does - Uncle Fester tickling the ivories in the background nods in approval...

[David]

“On behalf of all white people.”

[Sam Duncan]

“Tim Newman, here.”

From the comments (originally the great Australian all-rounder Keith Miller), possibly my new favourite quote:

I’ll tell you what pressure is. Pressure is a Messerschmitt up your arse. Playing cricket is not.

Ditto journalism, acting, singing, videogame development...

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

“On behalf of all white people.”

Considering that there is evidence that there were Europeans in North American before the Siberian "natives", I'm calling it "Reconquistagiving".

...Pressure is a Messerschmitt up your arse.

(at the metting of the ladies auxiliary)

Polish Biggles: "...there were fokkers to the left and right, and one up my arse."

Group Captain: "Perhaps you could explain to the ladies what type of plane a Fokker is, Flt. Lt Biggelovsky"

Polish Biggles: "Well, in the case, the fokkers were Messerschmitts..."

[R. Sherman]

“On behalf of all white people.”

I wonder whether all these pearl-clutching, guilt ridden worthies who post this sort of thing ever stop to contemplate what the alternative would have been. (That assumes the whole "stolen" narrative is remotely accurate to begin with. See, e.g. "Platte Purchase.") Would North & South America remain an idyllic, untouched, Rousseau-ian paradise in 2018? Would the natives have eschewed all the accoutrements of modern life, remaining blissfully happy in buffalo skin loin cloths during a winter in the Dakotas was everyone else was wearing down parkas?

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

That assumes the whole "stolen" narrative is remotely accurate to begin with.

The Platte Purchase, or purchase of Manhattan (frankly I think we got the bad end of the bargain there), or anything else, the usual crowd will dismiss that as evil whites taking advantage of the Noble Gaia Worshipers. The bigger idiocy is their apparent thinking that any given tribe "owned" any land other than that which they were sitting on and could hold from another tribe at any given time, particularly the Plains Indians, not that the Iroquois and Algonquins weren't continually trying to kill each other over territory.

[Steve E]

Darlene, nice buns! (1:10)

[Hopp Singg]

IIRC, the Dutch may well have purchased Manhattan from the wrong tribe. They ran into the indians, perhaps the Canarsie tribe - who were just passing through - and offered to buy the island. The indians said "Sure! And we'll give you a good deal on it, too."

Ah yes, here's an account:

https://blog.nmai.si.edu/main/2011/08/americas-first-urban-myth.html

In one 1626 account, Peter Minuit, appointed director-general of New Netherland by the Geoctroyeerde Westindische Compagnie (the Dutch West India Company), purchased Manhattan from the Lenape, or Delaware Indians, for $24-worth of trade goods. Other accounts state that Minuit made the deal with the Canarsie, who were actually based in Long Island yet accepted gifts in exchange for land that was not theirs.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

Speaking of wypipo, What’s up with all those black men who voted for the Republican in the Georgia governor’s race?

Black men voted for Kemp at a higher rate than black women, according to exit polling, a data point that drew gasps and rebuke on social media and news commentary.

Gasps and rebukes ? Should have been riots at a minimum. Seriously, how racist and misogynist are they not to vote for someone just because of race ?

“I think it boils down to — the conservative mantra of self-determination and economic empowerment resonates with men, period, but especially with a certain cohort of black men,”...

Self-determination and economic empowerment, can't have that, we better nip it, nip it in the bud.

[David]

Someone tell Darleen she’s pulled.

[Steve E]

Ann Margaret, still going strong at 77. Check her out on Netflix in Chapter 3 of The Kominsky Method.

[ Shameless, unpaid plug ]

[Jon Powers]

"...Contemplate what the alternative would have been."

Well, we sort of know, based on what just transpired on North Sentinel Island. And speaking of, it's funny how all the usual suspects are so supportive of protecting these tribes. Where is the outrage at the gender based divisions of labour - the male warriors and the female caregivers? Where is the outrage at what can only be described as Toxic Masculinity as the males attacked and killed an unarmed visitor? I say we parachute in Laurie Penny and Owen Jones so that they may explain to them the error in their ways.

[Darleen]

Thanksgiving, the holiday where one can be smugly racist.

[David]

I think it’s a lion.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

Thanksgiving, the holiday where one can be smugly racist.

...Thanksgiving has nothing to do with the colonization and genocide of Native Americans.

To be fair, that much is correct.

[Steve E]

...Thanksgiving has nothing to do with the colonization...

If all humans came out of Africa, aren't Africans the original colonizers?

Just asking.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

Made up statistic du jour.

CBS News US - I want to know where the author of this mess lives - over 90% of US households own cars, and there are 1.8 cars per household. Even in NYC about 50% of households own cars, and that is the lowest rate in the US.

[JS]

...the whole "stolen" narrative...

Nobody seriously intends to give the natives their continent back. What's at stake is possession of the nation the "thieves", if you like, built, with literacy and paved roads and no danger of being scalped by noble savages.

The moral taint extends to the receivers of stolen property at least in the first couple of generations - maybe your great great grandfather never shot an Injun, but he bought the land for his farm from somebody who did. But by now there's almost no historical guilt attaching to somebody who for example purchases a house that was built on a subdivision of that farm.

This gives post 1965 immigrants in particular a moral bludgeon. They can say with pride and certainty that none of their ancestors were involved in the theft. What their grandfathers might have done in their corrupt, dictatorial, caste-ridden countries of origin is not held against them. Instead of being ashamed of being an outsider, they can be proud of not being an heir to the builders of the country. Ingratitude can be wrapped in a moral cloak.

[R. Sherman]

Well, we sort of know, based on what just transpired on North Sentinel Island.

Perhaps, but do know the natives quickly got on board with capitalism, trading furs and such for iron pots, steel implements and thunder-sticks with which they could aggravate their native neighbors. And don't forget the horse, foundation of the mighty "Plains Culture," authored by the Spanish who were crap at animal husbandry.

As for the residents of North Sentinel, Leftists don't view them as humans. They view them as pets being kept in an island zoo in order to enable Leftists to feel morally superior to the rest of us who have the audacity to use central air and flu vaccines.

[Spiny Norman]

I think it’s a lion.

We used to have a Chow / St Bernard mix that looked like that when her fur grew out in the winter (we had her "sheered" every spring). Probably the happiest, friendliest dog we ever had.

[Spiny Norman]

I want to know where the author of this mess lives

In the ether. "CBS-NEWS.US" a satire site, apparently.

Had me fooled.

[David]

Today’s words are about bloody time.

[David]

Re the above, more here:

So far this year officers have knocked suspects off mopeds or scooters 63 times. The Metropolitan Police said that none of the suspects had been seriously hurt and no complaints had been made… The tactic was introduced to combat the scourge of moped crime. The bikes are used in snatch thefts, knifepoint muggings, acid attacks and smash-and- grab raids. This year 12,419 such offences were recorded in London, equivalent to an attack every half an hour.

The tactics have already helped to reduce moped-and-bike muggings by over a third. Though, inevitably, Labour’s shadow home secretary, Diane Abbott, has denounced the tactics as “extremely concerning.” I suspect a majority of the public, including the thousands of Londoners who’ve been mugged or assaulted by the gangs in question, may feel differently.

[Fruitbat44]

Good turn out for Stalin's funeral, but probably just there to check he's really dead.

[Joan]

I suspect a majority of the public, including the thousands of Londoners who’ve been mugged or assaulted by the gangs in question, may feel differently.

Go plod!

[David]

Polyamory is a coping mechanism masquerading as a lifestyle choice.

Tim Newman, here.

[Jonathan]

Would-be Bus robber gets a 'special' treat.

[Jonathan]

I think it’s a lion.

Furriest Boy ever.

[Jonathan]

Though, inevitably, Labour’s shadow home secretary, Diane Abbott, has denounced the tactics as “extremely concerning.”

She's only concerned for her voters well-being......

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

Well, we sort of know, based on what just transpired on North Sentinel Island.

I wonder if I declared that I identified as Sentinelese if I could shoot arrows at the Jehovah's Witlesses who show up uninvited on my doorstep.

[pst314]

...if I could shoot arrows at the Jehovah's Witlesses who show up uninvited on my doorstep

But they do go away when you say no thanks, don't they? In the few encounters I have had, they have always been entirely polite and peaceful.

[WTP]

In the few encounters I have had, they have always been entirely polite and peaceful.

It’s been suggested to me to just tell them you’re Mormon. Cuts things shorter, you’ll get an understanding nod, and a polite goodbye.

As for about bloody time, I would agree but cue extreme libertarian outrage (US style anyway) in 3...2...1...

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

But they do go away when you say no thanks, don't they?

Not around here. Our local brand are as bad as Hare Krisna clowns.

It’s been suggested to me to just tell them you’re Mormon.

I have tried Catholic and Jewish, that only got them more excited to make a convert. Haven't tried Mormon, nor whipped out a koran while wearing Afghan tribal gear, still, I think a loincloth and bow and arrows would be more fun.

[David]

I would agree but cue extreme libertarian outrage (US style anyway) in 3...2...1...

Given just how brazen and violent the gangs have become, with dozens of attacks a day in London alone, and given the use of knives and hammers, even acid, a little payback seems in order. And for those grumbling about the presumption of innocence, fleeing the police is generally a big clue. Needless to say, it’s only possible to have a fair trial if you actually catch the perpetrators, as fairness also entails fairness for the victims, who to date have almost always gone without.

And it occurs to me that being knocked off a moped while fleeing the police is almost certainly preferable to the alternative methods of correction that an infuriated public – one that’s grown tired of the failures of conventional methods - might devise.

[Hal]

But they do go away when you say no thanks, don't they?

Not around here. Our local brand are as bad as Hare Krisna clowns.

Perhaps if you suggest that you're gay and insist on offering them the good news of Elton John?

---If they object, you could point out that from one faith to another, you're being just as genuine and honest.

For someone really bored, or to fend off a particularly aggressive variety of intruder, one can insist that the visitors join in forming a cooperation circle, and thus completely separate the genuinely personally religious from the merely manipulative and exploitative faithful.

[R. Sherman]

Not around here. Our local brand are as bad as Hare Krisna clowns.

It reminds one of an old joke:

"Why to Jehovah's Witnesses have inverted nipples?"

"GET OFF MY PORCH!!!!"
-----

My response has always been to launch into a history of the Arian heresy and Councils of Nicea at which point their eyes glaze over and they stumble back to their car.

[David]

When ladies shop.

Via Damian.

[Darleen]

When ladies shop.

You couldn't pay me to get within 5 miles of a mall on Black Friday or the day after Christmas.

[Steve E]

Our local brand are as bad as Hare Krisna clowns.

It's part of their door-knocking training.
They split into two groups. Group one pretends to knock on the door, while group two tells them to fcuk off.

[David]

You couldn’t pay me to get within 5 miles of a mall on Black Friday or the day after Christmas.

I dislike crowds intensely, and don’t much like people in general, so any in-person shopping is done early on Sunday morning and never, ever during holidays or times of retail fever.

[Darleen]

so any in-person shopping is done early on Sunday morning

If I have any Christmas shopping to do that necessitates a visit to the mall, I take a day off from work Tues-Thurs and being at the mall when the doors open. I have a list and can get all done within a couple hours. Then get a cup of coffee, stroll a while and be out long before the hordes arrive. Too many people arrive early Fri-Mon for my taste.

I actually enjoy a lot of the decorations and window displays ...crowds of shoppers, not so much. :)

[pst314]

Not around here. Our local brand are as bad as Hare Krisna clowns.

Interesting. I wonder why yours are different. I've never had any trouble. I tell them we are of a different branch of Christianity and that I am a bit busy to talk with them, and that's that.

Now leftists, on the other hand, I would be concerned about, because if I tell them I don't support their agendas I might become a target for future harassment.

[pst314]

Well, we sort of know, based on what just transpired on North Sentinel Island.

[Penseivat]

A switched on hepcat works her sweater like a pro.

Apparently, Anne Margaret was told to loosen her bra one notch to make her breasts move like that. If you notice with the other lady, there is no movement at all, plus in those days, bras really were foundation garments

[David]

Apparently, Anne Margaret was told to loosen her bra one notch to make her breasts move like that.

It’s an extraordinary piece of engineering.

[Captain Nemo]

A switched-on hepcat works her sweater like a pro../i>

All is forgiven, David. Now, if only she had done some performance art - you'd never need to show us Sandrine Schaefer again.

[Captain Nemo]

Oh, bugger. Sorry. *slinks off to hide under a rock*

[David]

I’ve called in a tattooist.

It’s for the greater good.

[Captain Nemo]

A tattooist won't be necessary. Just give me a hot cup of tea to warm my fingers on, and everything'll be fine.

[David]

‘Petting dog’ effect also works on dogs.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

Interesting. I wonder why yours are different.

Competition with the evangelical Baptists, maybe. There are a limited number of souls for the saving hereabouts, and they probably both work on commission.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

I'm not really sure this is how you become a member of the Illuminati.

[R. Sherman]

I'm not really sure this is how you become a member of the Illuminati.

That tweet caused me to have an horrific flashback to the cringe-inducing "You Light Up My Life" song by Debbie Boone. As I recall, there was a federal law that required it to be played every fifteen minutes for twelve straight months. It took me years of therapy to get to the point where the mere thought of it wouldn't send me into convulsions.

[Damian]

OK, which one of you wise guys has been trolling the trans advice columnist at Slate? Somebody wrote in claiming to have a 5'8'' boyfriend who insists that he is actually 6'0'', and the earnest advice — again, I stress, from a woman who recently decided that she is actually a man — was that "acknowledging reality" was the only strategy needed.

[pst314]

A trans advice columnist?

[jabrwok]

I think it's a lion

https://youtu.be/hCEVTcL1bJ0?t=2

[Damian]

A trans advice columnist?

An advice columnist who is trans, not a columnist who gives trans advice...no, wait, that's not exactly......I mean, technically, I suppose...oh, forget it. Point is, that's some top-notch trolling. *Woosh*, right over Ortberg's head.

[JuliaM]

"Would-be Bus robber gets a 'special' treat."

What bad luck, to try to rob someone on a bus driven by a man on his way to play baseball... :)

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

The left - "Humans are just the same as any other animal"

Also the left - "Vegans do not use or consume any animal products"

Ergo, this, er, lady is not a vegan.

Click the link at your own peril.

[David]

Click the link at your own peril.

For some reason, the words that leapt out were single mother.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

For some reason, the words that leapt out were single mother.

That, and for some reason, maybe her name, the other words were "personal trainer" which I, being the patriarchal wretch that I am, figure is a euphemism for someone who works on a stage with flashy lights, bad music, and a vertical pole.

[R.Sherman]

Prepare for the zombie apocalypse or late stage socialism.

[David]

Prepare for the zombie apocalypse or late stage socialism.

I was previously unfamiliar with the term lube keg.

And which, needless to say, has been added to our ongoing list of potential band names.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

Prepare for the zombie apocalypse or late stage socialism.

Or, perhaps, to be a supplier, as it were, for Miss Kiss mentioned above...

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

Lube keg, reviewed.

[Spiny Norman]

Click the link at your own peril.

She stressed that she's 'not involved' in the donation...

Why the hell not?

[JuliaM]

@Spiny Norman: They forgot to chain the donor to the floor? Rookie mistake :)

[Spiny Norman]

Chained to the floor? "Donations"? Sounds like something from Milo Manara... ;)

[David]

Chained to the floor?

Julia’s Tupperware parties are legendary. Those who survive always remember them.

[pst314]

Prepare for the zombie apocalypse or late stage socialism.

Almost the same thing.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

Leah says modelling has given her a confidence boost and helped her learn to love the features that she once struggled with..."and her 92,000 Instagram followers agree..."

Which means there are 92,000 people who are either odd, or morbidly curious. Daily Mail, click at your own risk.