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November 08, 2018

Comments

Bloke in North Dorset

“Mr Salmon is 37. ”

But has applied to have his chronological age changed to match his mental of age 13.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-46133262

Joan

the cult of masculinity still prevalent in the world,

Not at the Guardian, obviously.

PJH

"Timothée"

I see.

And where did Mr. Salmon get his curtains from? They do make a rather fetching t-shirt and shorts ensemble...

David

And where did Mr. Salmon get his curtains from?

It’s not a look that would suit just any middle-aged man.

Alice

let’s have a less macho sexiest man alive

No, let's not.

David

Not at the Guardian, obviously.

It does seem to boil down to, “Why don’t middle-aged women like what gay ephebophile men like? What’s wrong with these women?” That’s the thing with the Guardian. There’s always something trivial in the world that’s terribly problematic and needs correcting, even the Hollywood-hunk preferences of middle-aged ladies.

PJH
It’s not a look that would suit just any middle-aged man.

Oh, indeed. It appears Mr. Salmon is quite the fashionista.

[Source]

Mags

In short, middle-aged ladies tend to prefer a bit of this to a bit of that.

This one does.

David

It appears Mr. Salmon is quite the fashionista.

He seems to want to dress like a child.

David

This one does.

Calm yourself, madam.

[ Fetches water spray. ]

Justin

Andy Pandy's coming to play, La la la la laaa la.

sk60

Apparently, “gay twink culture” is feeding into straight desire, albeit in ways never specified.

"Citation needed".

David

Having denounced the insufficiently woke conventions of masculinity, Mr Salmon is now atoning for his own insufficient wokeness:

David

“Citation needed”.

Well, quite.

Basically, Mr Salmon is confused, or pretending to be confused, by the fact that grown women often find status and ruggedness attractive in a man, and that they don’t by and large share the author’s level of interest in pretty, effete teenagers. “Gay twink culture,” he complains, “is nowhere to be seen in the People [Sexiest Man Alive] list.” But the defining attribute of “gay twink culture” is its focus on unimposing teenagers who are barely men at all.

R. Sherman

Masculinity is a decorative feature that is essentially counter-productive.

"Counter-productive" to everything except that whole reproduction of the species business, I suppose.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

Oh, indeed. It appears Mr. Salmon is quite the fashionista.

We actually call this look "sex baby", but thank you.

Yeah, dress up like a kid, call it "sex baby". Not a sign there might be a hint of underlying issues in the least, nosiree.

... with men [sic] such as Timothée Chalamet...

I know I am not particularly Woke™, but am I the only one who had to look up who the hell this Chalamet guy is ?

David

but am I the only one who had to look up who the hell this Chalamet guy is?

Probably not. And again, I’m not sure how many middle-aged female readers of People magazine are keenly tracking the career of an actor whose first lead role was in an art-house film aimed chiefly at gay men. It seems a tad niche.

Bill de Haan

Not at the Guardian, obviously.

A while back, there was some pretentious and hilariously self unaware interview or political show which was so left wing it would make Bernie Sanders look like David Duke.

On one segment, the supposedly male panel decided to disprove some allegation or other about their manhood, and somehow it was decided that a testosterone test would do it. Now, from the photos of Mr Salmon (who I'd not heard of before today) above, I'd say he would fit in with this group fairly well, even if he is a bit too rugged compared to the rest of this group. This group was a big opponent of "toxic masculinity", of course.

Suffice to say, when the results came back, the entire panel was disheartened to find out that unlike their expectations, their testosterone levels were significantly below that of the average male. And by significant, I mean there was a note indicating that some were dangerously low, as in "see your doctor about this" low. I think three of the five were in the dangerously low category, and the other two were merely extremely low.

As you can imagine, this proved that... wait for it... science was racist.

I'd like to say I wish I could remember the show, but I find I'm actually quite happy to not know. Although my recollection may jog the memory of someone else to identify it, if they feel so inclined.

TheTooner

I didn't have to look up who the hell this Chalamet guy is because I don't care. So I didn't look it up.

ComputerLabRat

In short, middle-aged ladies tend to prefer a bit of this to a bit of that.

Nailed it.

I have zero interest in anyone who spells their name Timothee' - that just screams pretentious twat. So I'll gladly miss whatever scene this Chalamet person is "on".

What I don't understand is why Mr. Salmon (I cannot unsee that horror - thanks, David) thinks that middle-aged women would be interested in man-boys who look like their sons? I mean - definite ick-factor there!

Farnsworth M Muldoon

I'd like to say I wish I could remember the show, but I find I'm actually quite happy to not know.

I always like to lift the veil of the unknown...

It was BuzzFeed guys*, and for the really curious, here is their video.


*When unsure, "guys" is gender neutral. Like these guys.

David

(I cannot unsee that horror - thanks, David)

No refunds. Credit note only.

jjunior

Apparently, “gay twink culture” is feeding into straight desire, albeit in ways never specified.

Meet Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.

Another Calgary Marc

I'm not sure how he feels he's qualified to "troll" about a) what late-30s women want, or b) anything related to masculinity. "Gay twink culture", however...have at 'er.

Nicholas

Meet Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.

Mic drop.

Steve E

And where did Mr. Salmon get his curtains from?

The shirt is cut from the cloth of a ten-year-old's sheet set; and the shorts, well let's just say, somewhere a volkswagen is missing its seat covers.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

...and the shorts, well let's just say, somewhere a volkswagen is missing its seat covers.

Close, but his grandmother's couch is missing a couple cushions.

Mags

[ Fetches water spray. ]

LOL

David

Nailed it.

Well, it’s rather like being puzzled to find that the sexual preoccupations of Woman’s Weekly differ somewhat from those found in Attitude magazine. I exaggerate, I know, but not by much.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

One more for the ladies, and my apologies in advance.

Steve E

Well, it’s rather like being puzzled to find that the sexual preoccupations of Woman’s Weekly differ somewhat from those found in Attitude magazine.

I don't know David they may share some common ground, like this.

Sort of a symbiotic supply meets demand kind of thing.

Daniel Ream

Seems like more than a bit of Sailer's Law of Female Journalism going on here.

On one segment, the supposedly male panel decided to disprove some allegation or other about their manhood, and somehow it was decided that a testosterone test would do it.

As One of Those Ilk, I watch a lot of YouTube videos that relate to geek media and the production thereof, and one thing that strikes me among the male millenial hosts is how high-pitched, thin and nasally their voices are. They're almost caricatures of a squeaky-voiced teenager, despite being well into their thirties. By comparison, YouTubers like Carl Benjamin and Diversity & Comics sound like grown men.

I know that to a large extent vocal range is detrermined by genetics, but I can't help but feel there's a bit of affectation here.

David

One more for the ladies, and my apologies in advance.

Or, you know, you could just dial back the carbs, starch and sugar, and take the occasional walk.

David

Seems like more than a bit of Sailer’s Law of Female Journalism going on here.

Heh. Could be. See also this.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

...you could just dial back the carbs, starch and sugar...

That, and/or a vacation in Thailand or the Philippines for some bargain lipo.

David

That, and/or a vacation in Thailand or the Philippines for some bargain lipo.

It’s strange how such articles – and they’re practically a staple now – boil down to some variation of, “I should be applauded and desired for my ineffectiveness and lack of self-possession.”

jabrwok

reproduction of the species

Or that whole "maintenance of civilization" thing.

The link goes to a 2010 list of Nontraditional Jobs for women, which provides, for the mathematically-inclined, a nice summary of the male proportion of the workforce in the socially essential professions.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

“I should be applauded and desired for my ineffectiveness and lack of self-possession.”

Indeed, though in this case, "they" and "them" are probably accurate.

aelfheld

Did Mr. Salmon encounter any difficulties in turning his mother's wallpaper into those shorts?

aelfheld

It’s not a look that would suit just any middle-aged man. -- David

It's not a look that would suit any middle-aged man.

David

Right, I’m off out for dinner with the in-laws. Play nicely. Use coasters.

Hopp Singg

Bill De Haan,

Is this what you were referring to?

BuzzFeed Guys Test Their Testosterone Levels. The Results Are Exactly What You'd Expect.

The normal T-score for an adult male ranges from 270-1,070 ng/dL, with men aged from 25-34 averaging out at 617 ng/dL. Not one BuzzFeed beta male met the 617 ng/dL average; rather, all the men testing below the level of a typical 85-year-old male (376 ng/dL). Moreover, three of the four men tested below the average range, and the male with the highest testosterone level, Eugene, still had a relatively low T-score with 363 ng/dL.
Frank

Mr Salmon appears to have his arm stitched on the wrong way in that simpering pose, the one holding the blue bag. Either that or he is muscling his boyfriend out of the scene to take the photo.

Chester Draws

I've not known a lot of gay men, but the ones I have met would prefer to bed a person looking like Mr Elba over any twink.

Although twink is a recognised category for gay men, it's not like bear isn't unpopular. Nor is athleticism and musculature unappreciated, judging by the number who work out a lot.

LAG

Who?

Angus

Mr Salmon’s erotic magnetism...

Is he ill? He looks like a push-up is something that happens to other people.

Angus

Ok, I get it now. Mr Salmon has styled his own look on twink gay culture, so his lamentations of why don’t more woman find this sexy, should actually be read, “Why don’t more woman consider me sexy?”

Carolynn

Oh my gosh! You are a master of comic placement! I read the whole article by screening down, coming to the picture last. If I had been drinking coffee. . . it would be all over my keyboard!

R. Sherman

Ho, hum. Another Instalanche.

GWB

am I the only one who had to look up who the hell this Chalamet guy is ?

Heck, I had to look up who Idris Elba is. (No, I don't know almost any newish celebrity, thank you very much ("newish" defined as anyone more than a handful of years younger than Alyssa Milano, pretty much).)

Steve E

Mr Salmon appears to have his arm stitched on the wrong way in that simpering pose...

Bad dancers are said to have two left feet, apparently pattern challenged twinks have two right hands.

Instalanche

In our host's absence perhaps we should put the good china away and hide the bar snacks.

[ Nods towards hench-lesbians ]

bobby b

For the same reason that I cannot take seriously any writings that are called "tweets", I cannot take seriously people who tell me that they are attracted to "twinks."

Their own chosen labels cry out for ridicule.

Forbes

I wouldn't have thought amongst Mr. Salmon's fine grained distinctions that "gay" was a necessary qualifier for "twink culture."

But what do I know. Journalists, like this squire at the Guardian and other legacy media outlets, are forever telling us what to think, believe, or feel, yet are always running up against the reality of, in this case, what 30- and 40-something women find hot and sexy.

Sailer coined it as the First Law of Female Journalism, but it seems gays want in on the action to, so to speak. What a surprise...

Hal

And where did Mr. Salmon get his curtains from? They do make a rather fetching t-shirt and shorts ensemble...

Previously noted . . . .

Fay Greenwood

Hell yes!

Idris Elba, be still my heart.

Fay

Alice:

let’s have a less macho sexiest man alive

No, let's not.

Mags:

In short, middle-aged ladies tend to prefer a bit of this to a bit of that.

This one does.

BRAVO ladies!

Fay

Farnsworth:

One more for the ladies, and my apologies in advance.

Apology NOT accepted!

Mike

“Gay twink culture,” he complains, “is nowhere to be seen in the People [Sexiest Man Alive] list.” But the defining attribute of “gay twink culture” is its focus on unimposing teenagers who are barely men at all.

That.

David

That.

All those straight ladies have been a terrible disappointment to Mr Salmon.

But it’s worth noting just how often leftist commentary implies a need to correct heterosexual desire, as if it should be distributed more equally, by people who imagine that they know better. And I’m sure it’s entirely coincidental that such articles tend to be written by people whose own erotic appeal is, shall we say, niche.

Boatswain's Mate

I swear, I clicked on the Graun link, and decided to follow the links embedded therein, and as God is my witness, I had no flippin' clue a) who any of the so-called "celebrities" or "writers for 'prestigious' publications" were -- no, nary a one -- and b) about any of the (I'm guessing are) trendy notions they were all on about. "Twink culture?" What in the nether hell? I thought "twink" (often used in the plural) was a word used by moms or their friends to refer to twin children. I had no idea that it was a culture of essentially skinny, effeminate-looking men with bad posture. And why is that a subculture now?

And all those "bro" comparisons? Do what now?? [doge] Much confuse. So lack of get. [/doge]

As Principal Skinner famously quipped: "Am I so out of touch? No. It's the children who are wrong."

David

skinny, effeminate-looking men with bad posture.

Heh.

pst314

But it’s worth noting just how often leftist commentary implies a need to correct heterosexual desire

Make that every sort of desire, sexual and otherwise. As Sarah Hoyt says, we are guilty of WrongFun.

Mr. Saturn

Man I wear mostly t-shirts (of various geeky varieties) but at least I don't dress like my mom dressing me for going to grandma and grandpa's for Easter dinner.

I am about the same age and the same body type but at least I know I can grow a good beard.

squawkbox

Effeminate men have now adopted the fat wimminses' mantra "If you don't find me sexually attractive, it's because I haven't lectured you enough".

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