David Thompson
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January 29, 2019

Comments

Farnsworth M Muldoon

My life has changed forever, but I pity my ancestor's native land, first The Troubles, now this.

Andy

Talentless pretentious bollocks.
The girl who served me at McDonalds this morning is making a bigger contribution to humanity than this charlatan.

Joan

*runs away barefoot*

Steve E

Probably the closest she's actually come to reading a book.

sH2

Tensions that are, we’re assured, “palpable.”

She lied.

David

*runs away barefoot*

But Joan, come back! Things get incredibly exciting when some bloke walks past with his dog.

See? Palpable tension. Feel the rush.

Jamie MacMaster

Just what the world needs: another *&^%$#g drip.

Killer

She looks like she's sticking her tongue in a fuse box. I would pay to see the real thing, I think. It would serve as a metaphor for the entire avant-garde (sans langue?) art movement.

Steve E

Seriously though, why are these people indulged?

It's all very Soviet Union. Their "art" is a lie. They know their "art" is a lie. We know their "art" is a lie. They know that we know their "art" is a lie. Why is it indulged?

aelfheld

https://giphy.com/gifs/reaction-crazy-monty-python-Zb4Cwdpub5g0U/tile

ComputerLabRat

In this world of "everything goes" and you WILL be made to like it, and other such, it's safer to just walk on by, minding your own business, eyes straight ahead, no comment.

With such a glut of pretentious twattery in the world today, the average person is inured to it. Nobody cares except people in her little bubble. If she really wanted to shock, create palpable tension, or whatever, in the world at large, she should just have put on a MAGA hat, or a Brexit t-shirt, and, I dunno - maybe smirked a little.

Theyouk

Well, I'll grant her that it's...ummm...'quirky'. Might I offer three words of advice? Learn...to...code.

Clam

Please tell me this wasn't paid for with taxpayers' money.

David

Please tell me this wasn’t paid for with taxpayers’ money.

The, um, work above was funded by BBeyond Artist Group, which in turn is funded by the Arts Council of Northern Ireland. Which in turn is funded by the taxpayers of Northern Ireland.

[ Hides breakables. ]

bobby b

Although I am not a performance artiste, I think that the subaqueous qualities of the spatial relationships that she exhibits brings within the realm of discourse the essentially transitional quality of her movements. I find this work menacing/playful because of the way the sublime beauty of the spatial relationships allows for an aggressive empathy reaction to the distinctive formal juxtapositions. Although, it can be difficult to enter into this work because of how the mechanical mark-making of the sexy chair makes resonant the transgressive character of the intersecting relationships she critiques.

(This wombat's "art", more than most I've encountered, cries out for the Instant Art Critique Generator - http://www.pixmaven.com/phrase_generator.html .)

David

I think that the subaqueous qualities of the spatial relationships that she exhibits brings within the realm of discourse the essentially transitional quality of her movements.

Do help yourself to snacks.

David

For newcomers, a brief selection of Ms Schaefer’s earlier efforts can be savoured here, here and here.

Y. Knott

You know, most passersby are probably thinking "Ummm..." and then hurrying on their way in fear she'd escaped from an institution and might attack them. If she performed while holding a big sign reading (approximately) "This is ART," she might actually attract some attention. Or something.

However, if she was so imprudent as to include - and you're paying for it - on the sign, she likely wouldn't survive the performance.

ComputerLabRat

For newcomers, a brief selection of Ms Schaefer’s earlier efforts can be savoured here, here and here.

WHY oh why did I click?? I thought I'd seen that name before and had a sneaking suspicion that it was the one with her arse in the air squeaking her shoes to make the sounds of Guatemala or some such.

And sure enough - first "here" link - there it was in all its glory.

You never disappoint, O Gracious Host.

David

WHY oh why did I click??

You’d think you’d know by now.

WTP

Here's a little song I wrote for just such an occasion:

Everybody's talking and no one says a word
Everybody's making love and no one really cares
There's Nazis in the bathroom just below the stairs
Always something happening and nothing going on
There's always something happening cooking and nothing in the pot
They're starving back in China so finish what you got
They're starving back in China so finish what you got
Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Strange days indeed
strange days indeed

Everybody's runnin' and no one makes a move
Everyone's a winner
and no one seems to lose
There's a little yellow idol to the north of Katmandu
Everybody's flying and no one leaves the ground
Everybody's crying and no one makes a sound
There's a place for us in movies you just gotta stay around
Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Strange days indeed
most peculiar
Mama

Everybody's smoking and no one's getting high
Everybody's flying and never touch the sky
There's Ufo's over New York and I ain't too surprised
Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Strange days indeed
most peculiar, Mama

Daniel Ream

I literally LOL'd at 0:20 and had to explain to my co-workers what I was looking at.

TheTooner

Are you sure she's underfunded? She looks likes she has put on a bit of weight.

Fred the Fourth

So I have to cheer all y'all with this recollection:
Last year, sauntering up the walk along UC Berkeley's South side near Telegraph Ave, I pass a 30-ish gent seated slumped on a bollard. Typical appearance of a certain sort who can't make adulthood work, nor can he leave the Uni environs. As I pass, he does not look at me, but mumbles quite clearly, "Mammas, don't let your babies grow up to be artists."
Small victories, but satisfying.

pst314

Instant Art Critique Generator

"I thought that some of the metaphysical imagery was particularly effective, Oh, and err.. interesting rhythmic devices which seemed to counterpoint the surrealism of the underlying metaphor of the Vogonity of the poets compassionate soul, which stresses through the verse structure to sublimate this, and transcend that, and come to terms with the fundamental dichotomies of the other. And one is left with a profound and visual insight into whatever the poem was about."

pst314

"Mammas, don't let your babies grow up to be artists."

I've long wondered why art students are not all advised to learn a trade or profession that will support them. Or are they, but some don't listen?

gregale

A part of me always is amazed that folks like this are able to feed themselves, even if it's from a highly-subsidized public trough.

David

I literally LOL’d at 0:20 and had to explain to my co-workers what I was looking at.

There is an inadvertent symbolism to it. Ms Schaefer refers to her flummery as a “guerrilla street performance” and tries her best to disconcert the locals – behaving incongruously, being in the way of passers-by, then applauding herself loudly – all to no effect.

What she’s selling, they ain’t buying.

Sam

Someone seriously misunderstands how "Facebook" works.

WTP

What she’s selling, they ain’t buying.

Yes they are...work above was funded by BBeyond Artist Group, which in turn is funded by the Arts Council of Northern Ireland. Which in turn is funded by the taxpayers of Northern Ireland....Just not voluntarily.

pst314

work above was funded by BBeyond Artist Group, which in turn is funded by the Arts Council of Northern Ireland. Which in turn is funded by the taxpayers of Northern Ireland....Just not voluntarily.

One of the purposes of Modern Progressive Thought Leader government is to subsidize useless parasites by stealing from citizens at gunpoint.

The Phantom

David said: "... Which in turn is funded by the taxpayers of Northern Ireland."

That is awesome. I was afraid it was paid for by the Canada Council.

Steve E

Doing her best Invasion of the Body Snatchers at 3:42.

Donald Sutherland did it much better:

Donald Sutherland

Sorry. I didn't know how to embed the image from Vimeo.

David

Just not voluntarily.

Well, quite.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

You know, most passersby are probably thinking "Ummm..." and then hurrying on their way in fear she'd escaped from an institution and might attack them.

That, or "The ferkakta IRA is never around when you need them."

Mike

passers-by still pass on by. Somehow, incredibly, getting on with their lives.

If they notice at all they'll just assume she's another drunk.

David

If they notice at all they’ll just assume she’s another drunk.

Despite the pretensions of transgression and radical provocation, it seems like a lot of trouble to go to for, at most, a few seconds of faint bewilderment.

Y. Knott

"... it seems like a lot of trouble to go to for, at most, a few seconds of faint bewilderment"

I'm drawn to the conclusion that she's not performing for onlookers at all, and she could care less what they think - unless they really like it and give her star-quality exposure, of course.

She's performing for... BBeyond Artist Group, which in turn is funded by the Arts Council of Northern Ireland

- Follow the money... I'm sorry; was that too cynical?

WTP

Am I the only one who sees The Unmade Bed from 20 years ago, gee has it really been 20 years, in all of this nonsense?

Burnsie

What she’s selling, they ain’t buying.

Perhaps one must sit through Pace Investigations Nos. 1-8 to fully appreciate her genius.

Any volunteers?

Morpork

What happened to Pace Investigations Nos 1-8? I hate coming in mid-series when you’ve missed all the character development and background exposition. I feel short-changed and want my money back.

David

Any volunteers?

Believe me, it’s time you won’t get back.

Ten

She looks like she's sticking her tongue in a fuse box.

My first thought. Really.

Imagine the parents...

Jim Whyte

It was only 4:17, but somehow it felt so much longer. Still, I'm curious whose images those were on the walls. Harland and Wolff, perhaps, or a really, really old Apprentice Boy?

Fred the Fourth

Pst314,
I studied physics for 3 years, then worked at an insurance company for 2_years, then a silicon valley startup for 2 years, then finished an EE/CS degree, and had a successful 30 year career in silly valley.
But back when i was 15, my dad (A NASA test pilot) advised me to get, in addition to whatever Uni thing I did, a welders certificate.
I still think that was the single best piece of advice I got, ever, even though I didn't follow it.

Richard

I realize that I just a backward country bumpkin from the Colonies. I submit that I am not a doctor of arts of any sort. Can any of you explain what in the hell that person is doing? Besides slobbering all over a perfectly harmless book that, so far as I can discern, has offended no one and deserves, at the least, better slobber? I don't need to know the obvious - clearly he/she thinks that this is profound but I don't understand. Please help a poor benighted soul into the light.

Angus

I am going to guess that watching Pace Investigations 1 - 8 would be like watching the first two seasons of the American version of ‘The Office’, everything would seem vaguely familiar, yet darkly uncomfortable. You know that it is meant to be humorous and transgressive, but it just falls flat.

Trevor

Swollen with anticipation ...

Good of you to offer intelligence on your state of tumescence, but please don't feel obliged to update us regularly.

Trevor

Can any of you explain what in the hell that person is doing?

It's what we would call 'taking the piss'.

Darleen

Holy Mary, Mother of God ... This isn't The Onion.

Then a photograph caught my attention.

At the downtown Phoenix restaurant, my concern that the photograph of men in blackface was a threat to me and my face and voice were ignored.

A business’ photograph of men with blackened faces culturally says to me, “Whites Only.” It says people like me are not welcome.

pst314

Holy Mary, Mother of God ... This isn't The Onion.

The author of that fact-hating piece of garbage needs to be subjected to mockery and abuse wherever he is published, as should anyone that employs him.

Steve E

The Onion.

OOPS!
The page you're looking for isn't here.
Either someone gave you a bad link or there's something funky going on. Either way, we're truly sorry for the inconvenience.

Spiny Norman

Darleen,

Link not working. =^(

Lemme guess: coal miners just got off their shift (and needed a beer before heading home)?

Spiny Norman

Hey! Whoa! What's this mess??? Somebody's getting the Correction Booth.

pst314

Closing the html.

pst314

testing

pst314

I'll just quietly let myself into the correction booth now.

Steve E

I take it these "men in blackface" were so privileged they got to work hundreds of feet underground, contract black lung and die in their 40s or 50s. Caught at a meeting of the white cisgendered heteropatriarchy.

Darleen

Better link here ... my cut-n-paste took off the end

https://www.azcentral.com/story/opinion/op-ed/2019/01/28/downtown-phoenix-photo-men-soot-blackface/2683881002/

Spiny Norman

Okay, I navigated the azcentral site (part of the USA Today Network - which explains a great deal), and found this - and pst314 is correct, the author is a fact-hating piece of garbage.

More self-inflicted blinkered nonsense:

I asked the waitress to speak with a manager. Instead, I spoke with a white restaurant owner. I explained to him why the photograph was offensive. Evidently, someone else had made a similar comment about the photograph before.

Yet, the photograph remained on the wall.

Who determines what's offensive?

Oversensitive attention whores like Mr Rashaad Thomas, apparently.
For me, the coal miners disappeared and a film honored for its artistic merit, despite being the most racist propaganda films ever, D.W. Griffith’s “Birth of a Nation” (1915) surfaces, in which white actors appeared in blackface. The white owner saw coal miners in the photograph. Therefore, it was not offensive.

Fact: The photograph shows coal miners’ faces covered in soot. The context of the photograph is not the issue.

Oh yes it is, you self-important dick.

Darleen

Oh yes it is, you self-important dick

I breathlessly await his next hand-wringing exercise after he sees the Chimney sweep scene in Mary Poppins

Spiny Norman

Ummm...

The shark has been jumped, by America's "paper of record", no less.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

Meanwhile, back in the UK, have a friend going to the hardware or Swiss Army store ?

Rat (grass) them out.

If it saves one life, nobody needs an assault knife.

Pogonip

“That photo tells me I am not welcome.”

You must have at least a 2-digit IQ to be served here, because we don’t want you to hurt yourself trying to eat the laminated menu. Sorry.

Try the whine-and-cheese establishment 3 doors down.

Hal

Please help a poor benighted soul into the light.

Well, very simply, what's going on is slobbering all over a perfectly harmless book that, so far as I can discern, has offended no one and deserves, at the least, better slobber, while someone else is presumably standing there recording the occurrence.

Pogonip

Chim-chiminy-chim-chiminy-chim-chim-cheree
The sweep’s problematic as he could well be
Chim-chiminy-chim-chiminy-chim-chim-cheroo
Racism rubs off when he shakes hands with you.
Or blow him a kiss—and Antifa attacks you!

Steve E

Fact: The photograph shows coal miners’ faces covered in soot. The context of the photograph is not the issue.

More journalistic laziness. If you're going to say something is a fact, well, it should be a fact. A coal miner's face would be covered with coal and crystalline silica dusts not soot.

The man's logic seems very Pythonesque. If the photograph weighs the same as a duck then it must be a witch in black face. Or something like that.

David

A business’ photograph of men with blackened faces culturally says to me, “Whites Only.” It says people like me are not welcome.

I think we’ll give that one a post, and thread, of its own.

Thanks, Darleen.

SumDumGuy

passers-by still pass on by. Somehow, incredibly, getting on with their lives.

Perhaps if she took her clothes off.

David

Perhaps if she took her clothes off.

The best I could do on short notice.

No, don’t thank me.

SumDumGuy

No, don’t thank me

No danger of that I think...

WTP

I think, just like “literally” and “ironic” and “nonplussed” (though I still contend in the case of “nonplussed” it gets the savaging it deserves) we will soon need to add “fact” to the list of Janus words. Well that and the rest of the whole damn dictionary.

W Krebs

However, if she was so imprudent as to include - and you're paying for it - on the sign, she likely wouldn't survive the performance.

And this suggests an idea. Suppose another artist decided to stand next to her with a sign reading "Performance art supported by the Northern Ireland Arts Council"?

Watcher In The Dark

Poor lass must be terribly short-sighted. Bless.

Paul Nottingham

Best argument I've seen for a hard border.

Hal

Best argument I've seen for a hard border.

Only if you're posting from the Republic of Ireland . . . .

"Performance art supported by the Northern Ireland Arts Council" . . . .

kelvin1

She would have had a more memorable performance if she had eaten a banana and made monkey noises

sowaratfal

In today's world, ordinary people cling to it with sugar. Nobody cares about people with small bubbles. If you really want to shock you or make you a noticeable tension, you should wear a MAGA hat or T-shirt Brexit all over the world. Maybe a little smile maybe.

SgtHulkasToe

Nothing is more pathetic than watching a lack of talent express its frustrations.

Rufus T. Firefly

You have to admit, that’s a great haircut though.

Frank

So profound...profoundly moronic and stupid. But I repeat myself.

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