David Thompson
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February 07, 2019

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Hopp Singg

When do we get the "Learn To Code" emoji?

Rafi

I denounce the cis-normative transphobia.

David

I denounce the cis-normative transphobia.

Heh. Perhaps we can look forward to celebratory articles about using emojis to mock ladies with capacious vaginas. I believe the term is wizard’s sleeve. Or would that be problematic?

The rules of woke piety are somewhat unclear, seemingly non-reciprocal, and prone to change from one breath to the next.

David
We’re finally getting an emoji that’s perfect for easily humiliating men when they’re being disgusting online or, you know, being men: the small dick emoji… It’s also great for illustrating capitalism’s failures by capturing the inadequate minimum wage or your lacklustre salary. The possibilities are endless.

We can only hope that the unnamed author of the article is an idiot teenager desperate to get a toehold in the world of media. Otherwise, what comes to mind is a heavily-indebted twenty-something prone to fits of random weeping, while pondering how their life went off the rails and crashed into a ditch.

David

Not entirely unrelated.

Also this.

PiperPaul

Leftist journalism so often follows the Unreliable Narrator diagnosis...

- The Pícaro
- The Madman
- The Clown
- The Naïf
- The Liar

I guess that's what happens when you

A) believe that fiction repeated often enough becomes truth, and
B) are really just an activist masquerading as a journalist

Adam

It will not be long before universities offer degrees in emoji design. Perhaps they already do.

We can look forward to politicians boasting of being a double major graduate in gender studies and emoji engineering. I anticipate this qualification will be a highly prized ticket to law school.

Connor

Can also be used for a Vice writer's prospects of a comfortable retirement.

David

Ouch.

Sue Sims

Adam: on Pointless * the other day, one of the contestants, a pretty girl of about 19, said that she was at university studying posters. Asked what this entailed, she said that they were given a subject, had to design a poster for it, then write an essay on it. That means she'll emerge after three years with a degree in poster design, a debt of about £60,000, and a life in a world that's moved over from posters to emojis.

*For non-UK readers, it's one of the better quiz shows on British television.

David

It must be quite odd, though. To have believed that journalism is a fashionable and statusful activity, a worthy investment of time and effort, and then finding yourself churning out micro-articles about “shattering capitalism” with emojis.

Niels R

It will not be long before universities offer degrees in emoji design. Perhaps they already do.

that sounds entirely too productive. More likely there will be an Emoji Studies course, being a veneer of Studies over a whole lotta activism prep.

John Square

More likely there will be an Emoji Studies course, being a veneer of Studies over a whole lotta activism prep.

I was trying to think of a worthwhile degree that ended with the word "Studies" the other day. I genuinely couldn't. I don't know if the 'X Studies' moniker is deliberately reserved for second-rate degrees* or whether it's just coincidental that the X Studies subjects are lightweight toss.

*There is the implication that the suffix 'Studies' is needed to clarify the academic worth of whatever the subject is- after all, no one ever did a 'Physics Studies' degree, did they?

Bill de Haan

To have believed that journalism is a fashionable and statusful activity, a worthy investment of time and effort

Years ago, I saw a British documentary about a 1970s era newspaper. It was one of these "where are they now" type things.

This little newspaper was going to Change the World, it was. After it deposed Thatcher, it would then get rid of Reagan. At least that appeared to be the mission statement; it was unclear as to exactly what they hoped to accomplish.

In one scene, a recent journalism grad was told that he would be the editor of the race relations section of the paper. Being something like 21 years of age, and out of school all of two weeks, he asked why he would be the editor of four other reporters, all of whom were senior to him, one by almost a decade.

The question surprised the others. "Because... you're black", they told him, because that clearly explained everything.

So I'd say that the conceit that journalism is a worthy investment of time and effort has been on the decline since long before this 19 year old waif was even conceived. At this point, the only people who are attracted to it are True Believers.

I believe it was James Lileks (himself an old school reporter type) who said that when he interviewed applicants for reporter positions, if they used the phrase "I became a reporter so I could change the world", that was the automatic sign to show them the door.

Damian

We can only hope that the unnamed author of the article is an idiot teenager desperate to get a toehold in the world of media. Otherwise, what comes to mind is a heavily-indebted twenty-something prone to fits of random weeping, while pondering how their life went off the rails and crashed into a ditch.

Well, it is VICE, so they surely have both on staff. My favorite example of VICEness is when several writers, agonizing over the unfairness of their safe, comfortable existences, wishing they could have the adventure and authenticity that comes from actual oppression, went out and got "hooligan" tattoos in Cyrillic in solidarity with Pussy Riot. If there's a better encapsulation of the aspirational, status-seeking nature of spoiled-brat radicalism, I haven't seen it yet.

Niels R

There is the implication that the suffix 'Studies' is needed to clarify the academic worth of whatever the subject is- after all, no one ever did a 'Physics Studies' degree, did they?

Well quite. With a 'normal' degree, studying is implicit and the value of the topic is left to the observer to judge. Explicitly declaring the process rather suggests either a lack of rigour/effort required, or at least that the process is more valuable than the topic.

David

And the more that journalism has become a euphemism for activism or some minor variation of leftist advocacy, or piety-signalling, the more disreputable and worthless, morally and literally, the product has become. As noted recently, the relentless conformity of their output – eerily uniform assumptions, mouthed with every intersectional tic – has made the participants interchangeable, generic, and therefore disposable. It’s actually become quite difficult to distinguish one cut-and-paste woke-ling from another.

Dementedness aside, and apart from gratuitous use of the word fuck, there’s very little flavour.

Sort-Of-Mad Max

"It’s actually become quite difficult to distinguish one cut-and-paste woke-ling from another."

At least with this one, she has The New York Times tattooed on her as an identifying mark:

https://thehill.com/homenews/media/428888-former-ny-times-editor-jill-abramson-accused-of-plagiarism

"She is now a creative writing teacher at Harvard University." But, of course she is!

And, yes, I'm serious about the tattoo. But for heaven's sake find a printed interview with her, not a video; the woman has a voice that just makes one want to throw things at other things.

Jen

*narrator voice* "But capitalism didn't shatter..."

Farnsworth M Muldoon

...shattering fragile masculinities...

Aside from the sad fact that there is an actual thing called the "the Unicode Consortium" that has people presumably paid to approve modern hieroglyphics, the silly thing could also mean:

a) the worth of a ____________ Studies degree;
b) the IQ of a socialist;
c) the sense of humor of a SJW;
d) degree of tolerance for anything other than the groupthink du jour of the Leigonof Perpetually Outraged;
e) any number of other things equally tiny.

However, over in the world of smashing capitalism, Adidas is taken to the woodshed for shoethoughtcrime.

Not that I at all sure what sneakers have to do with the Harlem Renaissance, but I'd wager that most of the offended never heard of it, and I'd bet that nigh all of the sneakers back then were white because it was cheaper than dying the cotton (gasp!) duck.

Spiny Norman

new possibilities for shattering fragile masculinity and capitalism alike

Fragile? This is projection, on a grandiose, self-congratulatory scale. I am woke, hear me squeak!

eerily uniform assumptions, mouthed with every intersectional tic

Looking closely, I noticed a couple of familiar names: Joan Walsh and Chauncey Devega are genuine-article, wild-eyed lunatics. No surprise that Salon publishes them.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

More capitalism smashed, this time Gucci.

OK, the design is charitably described as odd, and I am sure the horde of POCs suffering from perfectly symmetrical vitiligo of the top of their heads should be offended, but give it a rest already, see c) and d) above.

Fred the Fourth

Speaking as an ex Font guy from Adobe, the Unicode consortium started out as a reasonable and necessary tool to expand digital characters sets beyond 7-bit ASCII to include things like accented characters and Kanji, Hangul, Arabic, etc.
Where they are now (mumble mumble years later...) I don't know, but they've probably been subject to the universal law that "any organization not explicitly right wing, becomes left wing over time".
On Emojis, I am sad to report that I know of a startup company which is having great success using emojis to replace text, for the purpose of companies communicating with their employees, and companies communicating with their customers. I guess it's easier than the old scheme where we'd spend a lot of money doing internationalization and localization of product features in order to sell in different countries.

David

genuine-article, wild-eyed lunatics.

And the woke-lings who fall just short of being unhinged are merely tedious. As the range of conclusions is so narrow and predetermined, and as so much is now taboo, and as so many bows and contortions have to be performed in order to show piety, there’s little sense of any room for actual thought. Which makes the pretensions of radicalism and intellectual heft both comical and perverse. Like so many products of leftist psychology, the end result is a bad facsimile.

David

the design is charitably described as odd,

Blimey. It’s like trolling in wool.

Fred the Fourth

the design is charitably described as odd...

Hah. Back when I was doing tech product design, I came up with a phrase that I thought had great explanatory power. This was the era when computer-aided design (CAD) was just becoming a real thing - the descriptor I came up with to explain the oddities of certain products was DAD - Drug-Aided Design. Some things just could not have been thought of by a sober person.

These days, and in the fashion "business" especially, I'd put the blame elsewhere, in two locations, particularly:
1. Near total lack of historical knowledge, or
2. Valuing "edginess" and "trangression" uber alles.
You get things like the Gucci design from either (1) or (2), separately. The fact that (2) and (2) are in conflict seems to be no problem.

Or perhaps, as David notes, there's a mole inside Gucci who is pushing these designs just to see the resulting fireworks.

Steve E

went out and got "hooligan" tattoos in Cyrillic in solidarity with Pussy Riot.

I expect an unconditional release any minute now. Nothing shatters the foundation of Russian justice like New York hipsters getting tattoos.

Steve E

Blimey. It’s like trolling in wool.

Who knew it could be so easy. Release the army of balaclava-jumper-wearing soldiers of doom.

Richard Powell

I was trying to think of a worthwhile degree that ended with the word "Studies" the other day.

Try Oriental Studies: https://www.ox.ac.uk/admissions/undergraduate/courses-listing/oriental-studies?wssl=1

(I can't speak for the course content, except that it includes rigorous linguistic study, which is surely worthwhile. The use of the word "Oriental" probably gets up a few noses as well.)

Steve E

Ooops forgot the "™" on: balaclava-jumper-wearing-soldiers-of-doom™.

You're on the honour system if you've used it in the meantime.

pst314

...the latest batch of emojis...

If you would prefer to not give clicks to the creeps at Vice you can see all the emojis here:
https://unicode.org/emoji/charts/index.html

Farnsworth M Muldoon

...you can see all the emojis here...

1719 of the fool things with the proud Welshmen bringing up the rear. 1719 hieroglyphics puts the Egyptians to shame and is starting to give the Chinese a run for their money.

Somehow I am failing to see the boon to communication scrolling through 1719 pictograms is compared to any modern alphabet, though I can see the future when the green energy isn't...

pst314

Somehow I am failing to see the boon to communication scrolling through 1719 pictograms is compared to any modern alphabet

These are primarily for scholars of those languages.

...although some sadly obsessed people did request a Unicode page for Klingon.

Darleen

Envy expressed as self-righteousness.

I’m watching you, white boy. And this time, I’m taking the screenshot.

I'm creeped out by the Stasi/stalker vibe.

lotocoti

To have believed that journalism is a fashionable and statusful activity, a worthy investment of time and effort
Way back when, we'd take on J'ism School students for Newsroom "work experience".
Blokes, being a rarity, would invariably get an internship offer (excepting a somewhat tragic middle-aged chap who hadn't considered that a speech impediment might not be a good fit with broadcasting).
The other rarity was the chick whose only interest in J'ism wasn't a news-reading gig.

JML

Envy expressed as self-righteousness

She seems nice.

Daniel Ream

I was trying to think of a worthwhile degree that ended with the word "Studies" the other day. I genuinely couldn't.

I minored in Classical Studies, which involved learning enough Greek and Latin to read Homer and De Bello Gallico; the history of the Peloponnese from the Wars to Thermopylae, the rise and fall of Rome, and a smattering of North African and Celtic history.

Fred the Fourth

Back in 1975, UC Berkeley had a program called IDS (Interdisciplinary Studies). At the time, me being a mere Physics undergrad, I thought that was far to tough a row to hoe.
How times have changed.

Forbes

I like the direction the woke-lings are moving though. Out of arguments, name-calling (racist, sexist, Nazi, whatever...) no longer has impact, so they are reduced to emojis (only adolescents will "get") that are visually incomprehensible.

As for any discernible impact on one's dignity such emoji might have, as is often said, "I'd have to give a shit about these little shits..."

Hal

As for any discernible impact on one's dignity such emoji might have, as is often said, "I'd have to give a shit about these little shits..."

I believe David has noted a bit of multitasking.

See also the comments regarding the additional selection of Festive Scenes, where Behold his table of fucks and see that it is barren does rather remind one of Mattis 3:16.

The original Mr. X

I was trying to think of a worthwhile degree that ended with the word "Studies" the other day. I genuinely couldn't.

Lots of universities do courses in Medieval Studies, which seem pretty respectable. Oxford does a degree in Late Antique and Byzantine Studies too, which is quite demanding: https://www.ox.ac.uk/admissions/graduate/courses/mphil-late-antique-and-byzantine-studies?wssl=1

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