David Thompson
Subscribe

Categories

Blog powered by Typepad

« In Other News | Main | Friday Ephemera »

March 19, 2019

Comments

aelfheld

Michael Winslow does it better.

ComputerLabRat

After clicking on the first link - wtf was on his face?? - there is no way I am clicking on that video. I'm going to guess he guzzles that cup of whatever and regurgitates it onto the audience to determine who is or is not worthy of appreciating his "art"?

I need that pretentious art explanation generator thing.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

On the bright side, when civilization collapses, these nitwits will provide hours of amusement as court buffoons for their new feudal overlords.

David

Heathens, the lot of you. Here I am, heroically excavating wonders from deep in the artistic underbrush…

Jen

There's more than one mug in that video.

Xas7wcrg9e

@ComputerLabRat:

After clicking on the first link - wtf was on his face??

Are you referring to the pig or the fish?

Supper will be accompanied by wine, served in mugs as demonstrated in the video.

Bring your own napkins.

Xas7wcrg9e

Fans of Cooper's Hill Cheese Chase may be intrigued to view M. Boudeau's take on it.

Trigger warning: Contains nudity.

And no cheese. Well not the sort you'd find in your local Fortnum & Mason's, anyway.

http://www.claudeboudeau.com/index.php/performances/sisyphe-2018/

https://youtu.be/Ycniy4RasMI?t=280

David

Ladies, avert your eyes.

Alice

Contains nudity.

I can see his artistic underbrush.

David

I can see his artistic underbrush.

I’ll fetch your coat.

Steve E

It's all so derivative. If you really want to impress people with your performance art then swallow a bunch of lego blocks and sh!t out the Millenium Falcon.

https://dnqe9n02rny0n.cloudfront.net/sets/images/2226/7965_alt_2_md.jpg

ComputerLabRat

Ah! 'Twas the fish to which I was referring - the angle in the pics you posted are more clear. The thing in question was vaguely familiar, but my brain refused to process it. Thanks, Xas!

I can see his artistic underbrush.

Bartender! A drink for the lady.

Ladies, avert your eyes.

Well, he is a bit on the scrawny side. Still, I do appreciate the odd bit of male nudity on occasion, but alas, will have to wait until I get home to click that particular link.

David

It’s all so derivative.

It’s the wearying predictability of it all. You know it’s going to be banal and utterly devoid of any aesthetic content. You also know what the tiny audience will look like. Just as you know that the clothes will come off. Because they always do.

Steve E

It’s the wearying predictability of it all.

It's all a big lie. Write a ridiculous existential description of what your performance art shows and then don't show it. They're not even clever enough to tie the descriptions to elements that actually occur in the piece. Cleverness can overcome the crappy and banal but they play everything straight and earnest, playing farce as if it were tragedy. Every Shakespeare tragedy has its moments of comic relief. But these punters are without humour.

There's more performance and wit in a 30 second commercial than the entire performance art oeuvre. One itches for the heartbreak of psoriasis.

prm

Yes, I have to say that always intrigued me as a question. Why are modern performance clowns so obsessed with getting their kit off? I mean, the only thing I can think of is that they genuinely think it bold and transgressive and that it shocks the bourgeoisie. The same bourgeoisie who watch wall-to-wall tits on half the streaming series.

David

It’s all a big lie.

It’s so tediously small.

The art, I mean.

Lancastrian Oik

[His]...main questioning is about the states of insurrection that exist in people and can be revealed through performance art.

He's going to regurgitate Alabama, Tennessee and North Carolina?

prm

I went to a modern classical recital to support a friend recently. It was as you'd expect modern classical to be, i.e. earnest nothing, but what interested me was the fact that it was held in small art gallery, so before the recital I had a quick peruse. Again, it was what you'd expect, earnest drivel accompanied by long explanations of what the piece of 'art' was 'about' which bore no relation to the 'art'.

What genuinely astonished me, and provoked much mirth on my part, was that one of the pieces of 'art' consisted of the sign 'to let' in front of two blue folders/bins - within each of which was... a urinal.

One hundred years on and there has been no advance on Duchamp. There's a reason for that.

Steve E

Why are modern performance clowns so obsessed with getting their kit off?

It's a means of distraction and patriarchal control. Most attendees for such events are purple haired lesbians who have very little interaction with the Patriarchal Appendage of Power™. They are too mesmerized to notice the shite that is the performance and can only despair of the PAP's tumescence. It's all about the states of insurrection that exist in all of us.

You're welcome.

Governor Squid

I'm pretty sure that guy used to sit in the cubicle next to mine, back in the bad old days. Gods, am I happy to have graduated to an office with a door...

Sam

He's not a bad looking chap/bloke/dude, why hasn't he found a better way to snag art school birds/sheilas/chicks (or other dudes as the case may be)?

Also, Michael Winslow does it better.

That. Though it's kind of cruelly obvious when you compare paying audience size.

PiperPaul

"Patriarchal Appendage of Power"

Band name.

Sam

"Patriarchal Appendage of Power"

Band name.

Ah yes, we can rely on P.A.P. to crank out some good old fashioned Man Metal.

Poster: THE TIME IS NEAR FOR [ INSERT CITY ]'S P.A.P. SMEAR!

/I'll show myself out. No really, the hamster urine isn't necessary, thanks.

David

No really, the hamster urine isn’t necessary, thanks.

[ Reaches under bar for spray bottle. ]

Fetch the weasels.

neal

Audition for SeaWorld. Or lunch for the regulars.

Burnsie

Lots of OCD in performance art, it would seem. Is that what he means by "states of insurrection?"

I think he has revealed more than enough, thank you.

Steve E

"Patriarchal Appendage of Power"

Not to be confused with the PPAP (Prosthetic Partriachal Appendage of Power) the purple-haired lesbians are most familiar with.

Why are the Henchlesbians snarling and gnashing their teeth?

[ Backs quietly away from the bar. ]

Clam

Fetch the weasels.

Band name.

Hopp Singg

Thanks to the towering talents of Mr Claude Boudeau, whose performance piece Cascade is featured below.

I thought switching to unleaded gas was supposed to eliminate this sort of thing?

Pogonip

Jack the Ripper (probably) identified at last!

https://nypost.com/2019/03/18/dna-research-may-finally-unravel-jack-the-ripper-mystery/

I can remember reading a few books that fingered Aaron Kosminski as the most likely (known) candidate. Although a big surprise on Judgement Day is still not out of the question, since some of the murders could have been copycat crimes. It could be Jack the RipperS.

NTSOG

A mystery solved: I now understand that the off-duty tram conductor who vomited all over me when I was 13 years old as I stepped to the door to alight from a No. 8 tram in Melbourne was really a performance artist displaying his clever skills to the public. I had assumed he was a dissolute drunk and couldn't hold his grog. I do owe him a debt of gratitude: I was so disgusted I never ever considered trying alcoholic beverages after that thus saving both my health and my funds.

Jim

John Square

Jack the Ripper (probably) identified at last!

Bruce "Withnail" Robinson's book is well worth a read- They All Love Jack. It's utterly mad, but the hypothesis is intriguing, and the evidence persuasive.

FWIW, Robinson rules out Kosminiski as he was mad and a simpleton, and posits he was framed up by antisemites. IIRC, timing also rules him out as a candidate (should the canonical five be but the tip of the iceberg). Robinson believes that Jack was a 'sane' psychopath with a massive ego and a grudge against the establishment. Robinson reckons all of the letters to the cops were genuine, and Jack gave clue after clue to his identity in them. Robinson also rckons that there was no Ripper mystery, but that the coppers knew they were dealing with an establishment figure and were desperately trying not to catch him, lest questions were asked about certain fraternal societoes that (at that point) controlled much of the establishment.

As I say, bonkers, but persuasive.

pst314

I went to a modern classical recital to support a friend recently. It was as you'd expect modern classical to be, i.e. earnest nothing

That describes my last such experience, where virtually all the attendees were friends or coworkers of the modern dancers. I'm glad that nobody asked me directly what I thought because it was appallingly bad. In this case the dancer had followed the classic advice and had not quit her day job.

Anthony

I'm almost convinced these people are massive trolls who sit down the pub all day and dream up this wankery to con the Arts Council of the odd £10k every now and then.

Almost...

Hal

Fetch the weasels.

Band name.

I've been rather intrigued watching the last couple of weeks worth of Brexit convulsions, particularly with the recent Bercow ruling.

Thus, Erskine May, possibly even Erskine May and The Wigs

Pogonip

Isn’t modern dance ghastly?

My fellow Americans who do not care for Elizabeth Warren will be happy to hear I would no longer be not too disgruntled if she were appointed President, as she has announced her hostility towards my son, which is the unpardonable sin.

You have probably heard of tiger mothers. Mothers of handicapped children are velociraptor mothers.

Pogonip

Hi John Square,

A pity the DNA results weren’t announced before that woman got paid for the Worst Ever Jack The Ripper Article.

Pogonip

“I’m not a butcher
Not a yid
Nor yet a foreign skipper
But I’m your own light-hearted friend
Yours truly, Jack the Ripper.”

Now if somebody can figure out the intriguing mystery of Dyatlov Pass...

Robert of Ottawa

Sorry, Captain Beefheart has already covered the Tgrout Mask Replica thing. I suggest Beefheart sue.

jabrwok

Here I am, heroically excavating wonders from deep in the artistic underbrush…

I'm sure you'll find that pony if you keep digging.

Fetch the weasels.

Band name.

Opening for Unleash the Archers.

pst314

Fetch the weasels.

S. Weasel?

PiperPaul

"I'm almost convinced these people are massive trolls..."

"It's like this is a baiting performance-act joke."

- Ace

Tim Newman

Now if somebody can figure out the intriguing mystery of Dyatlov Pass...

Yeti attack.

Pogonip

No big footprints in the snow.

W Krebs

About two minutes in, I was expecting a text crawl on screen that read "If only he had switched to decaf...."

Come to think of it, that video could be repurposed as an ad for decaffinated coffee.

David

Sshh. Art is happening.

Pogonip

I saw one of those climate-alarm stories saying GB would run out of water in 20 years. How can this be when you’re surrounded by ocean? It may be that you might not be able to desalinate the sea water, but that’s not what it said. It said no water in 20 years, period. What’s up with this?

We can always ship you some from Upper Pogonippia, we got a lot more water last year than we needed. It was so wet last summer our storage-shed door mildewed, that had NEVER happened before. I thought the mildew would die in winter, but it didn’t, so in May Son of Pogonip will have to re-paint the shed with mildew-resistant paint.

Hal

Yeti attack.

Ah, now that also is a band name.

Steve E

Sshh. Art is happening.

He identifies as a Brita water filter.

pst314

Sshh. Art is happening.
He identifies as a Brita water filter.

Does that mean we can throw him away in 60 days?

Pogonip

https://bayourenaissanceman.blogspot.com/2019/03/a-breath-of-fresh-air-not.html?m=1

fnord

Juvenal would throw his hands up in despair.
How does one say "I got nuthin', bro. " in Latin?

Monty James

First one of these you put up that made me ill. Considering your record, that is saying something.

David

First one of these you put up that made me ill. Considering your record, that is saying something.

No refunds. Credit note only.

David

I should up the prices for sharing this quality material. Or at least water down the liquor.

Steve E

Or at least water down the liquor.

Why it's damn near homeopathic now!

Fay

Pogonip @ 18.16

They got her handle wrong. It should read:

- Ashleigh Ingle, Fekkinidjit

Fay

It "appears" that Claude's rumbling tumble in the hay was more exciting than he anticipated. Hopefully his gear remained intact and the swelling was temporary.

Black Ball

Good day to you Mr Thompson. Long time, no see. Can you keep it down please, Australian football is about to start.

David

Can you keep it down please, Australian football is about to start.

There’s an entire planet between us. About 6,000 trillion metric tons. You’d think that the molten iron core would dampen the noise somewhat.

And I’m sorry, but I don’t believe there’s such a thing as Australian football.

Black Ball

Better believe it!

Black Ball

And where is the camel fat?

David

And where is the camel fat?

Dig in. I’ll add it to your tab.

Black Ball

Camel fat required

jones

Having considered the work I feel he's a bit of a tosser.

And perhaps a touch pretentious.

Watcher In The Dark

Dribbling and tapping a cup. My kids used to do that until I told them not to be so daft.

If only they had continued they could be famous performance artists. Ah, I regret so much now...

Farnsworth M Muldoon

Meanwhile, let us take a break from art, and get back to Science!™.

Please note that according to current Woke™ Science!™, the putative cause would actually have the opposite effect...

Governor Squid

Woke™ Science!™

I need a research grant to look into the Lauripennian Uncertainty Principle, whereby it is simultaneously true that 1) men and women have no significant differences, and B) men are terrible monsters responsible for all the woes endured by women. I'm almost certain that the research will require a new approach to the two-slit experiment.

I'll just show myself out now.

David

Dribbling and tapping a cup.

Put like that, you’re really taking the magic out of it. The wonderment. And awe.

David

There’s more than one mug in that video.

Aside from the fact that these things are sometimes fascinatingly bad in their shunning of competence and discernible aesthetics, there’s also the assumption that we, the audience, are not supposed to notice this, or at least not object. Apparently, we’re not supposed to have standards or discernment, and will therefore pretend.

Which is faintly insulting.

Sam

Come back Gov!

You can add a 3rd aspect to your research by incorporating Dalrock's Law. To wit:

"Feminism is the assertion that men are evil and naturally want to harm women, followed by pleas to men to solve all of women’s problems."

Mary

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6824039/Battle-shrunken-heads-Gruesome-trophies-headhunting-tribe-fire-protesters.html

Unhappy visitors this month labelled the exhibit [of shrunken heads] ‘a freak show’ and such concerns have led the museum, which was founded in 1884 by wealthy archaeologist Augustus Pitt Rivers, to review whether it should continue to exhibit the heads.

It’s not the first time the Pitt Rivers has come under criticism. Last year, two human scalps from North America were removed from the same cabinet after Native Americans claimed that such displays were disrespectful to the deceased.

...But wherever you stand on the debate, one strong argument for keeping them at the Pitt Rivers is that they remind us of the role played by the unscrupulous European collectors who encouraged their gruesome trade.

http://www.unz.com/isteve/conan-the-librarian/

In the second half of the 20th Century, academics engaged in a concerted effort to make the prehistory of Eurasia sound kinder, gentler, and much, much duller. For example, the Battle Axe culture of Northern Europe of 4,000 to 5,000 years ago was renamed the Corded Ware culture. Instead of invasion, conquest, enslavement, and rapine, the past was more about different peoples getting together in a spirit of sharing to teach each other their arts, their crafts, their languages, their values, their hopes, their dreams …

For the entire 21st Century, though, Greg Cochran has been predicting that when genome analyses of ancient buried corpses are finally done, the prehistory of Eurasia will wind up looking a lot less like the later 20th Century conventional wisdom and more like the fantasy world created by the bookish Robert E. Howard for his Conan the Barbarian stories in the 1930s.

Pogonip

Re Dalrock’s Law—HE’S happily married—but is Mrs. Dalrock?

I must admit I always suspect these lord-and-master types spend a lot of time in real life squeaking “Yes, dear.” 😄

Sam

Pogonip - I had the same first impression when I would peruse Dalrock's writing but I gave him a chance and his worldview is far more nuanced than "God says wife is servant". I'm not even religious but find it interesting to read a "red-pilled" Christian's take on the world and the state of Christianity.

IMO he believes men and women should follow biblical teachings and avoid those in the church that seek to flatter female egos by diminishing their sin and placing all of the burden on men. Again, I don't even believe in all of that but reading his accounts of what is actually being preached explains a lot of why the faith is losing people - men in particular - in droves.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

A mystery for the ages.

Pogonip

Hi Sam,

I did look at his site and he sounds like a decent fellow. So I hope he and Mrs. Dalrock are both happily married.

Although I’m still a bit suspicious that a hidden microphone would pick up quite a few “yes, dear”s. But if he’s happy & she’s happy, that’s OK with me.

Hal

Apparently the Ephemera clock seized, again.

In Ephemera variety news, "Florida Man birthday"

Cleo

I was waiting for someone to throw a cream pie in his face. Now THAT would have been some performance art worthy of a donation! Next time just puke at the audience...same effect.

Hal

Apparently the Ephemera clock seized, again.

Oh, Right, and then factor in U.S. Daylight Saving time change vs the UK clocks . . . .

Arnold Schonberg

Get this guy a sippy cup.

The comments to this entry are closed.

Blogroll