Friday Ephemeraren’t
The Land Of Honk

Decolonise Your Mind

A title I’ve stolen shamelessly from Orwell & Goode:

A new superstitious belief has emerged in some areas of Mozambique - that bald men have gold in their head. However, the head has to be taken to a witchdoctor who will use magical powers to extract the gold - and make them rich. As a result, police say five bald men have been killed in central Mozambique.

Adjust those holiday plans accordingly, baldies.

Not entirely unrelated.



All cultures all equal, David.


bald men have gold in their head.

Been telling my wife that for years.

Tony Tea

Mozambique has my favourite flag - a machine gun and a shovel. Two things close to their collective heart. Bag 'em and bury 'em.

Mozambique has my favourite flag - a machine gun and a shovel.
Indeed it has. Overlayed upon a white book that symbolises education and inlayed in a yellow star that represents Marxism. Neither of which appears tore working if the latest trend is to chop people's heads of in the search for gold.
Craig Austin

New rumour, Democrats taste like chicken.


There’s gold in them thar heads!

Farnsworth M Muldoon

I see a market for wigs and Rogaine, anyone who wants in on the ground floor of this enterprise, let me know.

Speaking of decolonization, in California (but of course) we find mission bells to be highly problematic and must be airbrushed out.

Mission bells, which were installed across the state to memorialize the California Missions, are viewed by many populations* as a symbol of racism and dehumanization of their ancestors.

Campus leaders have been in discussions with Valentin Lopez, chairman of the Amah Mutsun Tribal Band, over the past year to coordinate the bell’s removal.

I notice that an alleged tribal guy going by the rather Spanish name of Valentin Lopez is triggered by a bell he never sees (it is on campus), but can't be bothered to decolonize his name. It is almost as if he has some other agenda, particularly as this guy in his late 60s previously had a large case of the sads because the Pope canonized Father Junipero Serra who founded a couple of missions. He also seems to have no issue with the name of the college and town (Holy Cross in English) - or half the towns and other named items in California, for that matter.

I know you are wondering about the Amah Mutsun Tribal Band. Wonder no more,

The Amah Mutsun Tribe had an extensive history of communal activity, shared cultural understanding and collective rituals and beliefs.

Kumbaya. OTOH, they were apparently also big into property rights and killing. "Warfare was not uncommon for the Mutsun. Infringement of territorial rights was the most frequent cause of war. "

Very problematic.

*(One guy and student straphangers, apparently)


Mozambique has my favourite flag

Mozambique has historically been fairly unpretentious and far less duplicitous about their intentions, culture, and intentions than most African states.

When Mugabe went shopping around for advice in the 1980s, other African states gave long winded speeches about black empowerment. Mozambique's leader simply said "whatever you do, hang on to your white people".

Mozambique may be a deadly hellhole, but they're quite honest about it.


“‘We conquered you, we controlled you, we destroyed you’ — that’s what those symbols mean to us,” Lopez, who serves as chairman of the Amah Mutsun Tribal Band, explained. The Amah Mutsun are descendants of the indigenous people who were taken to Missions San Juan Bautista and Santa Cruz near California’s Central Coast.

Human Sacrificer Americans may have had reason at the time to be resentful of Conquistador Americans. And a racially mixed descendant of both may, fifteen generations later, feel resentment and shame measured out according to the proportion of human sacrificers and conquistadors in his 32768 ancestry slots.

But now that demographic processes have blurred and expanded their ancestral affiliations into the new grouping known as "Hispanics", it's important that they learn to rechannel their internal differences against a common enemy, to unload all their ancestral resentment and shame onto Anglo Protestants, whose bad intentions operate even across hemispheres and backwards in time. Learn from the dot-Indians.


I've long thought we should disentangle ourselves completely from the dark continent and let nature take its course.

Steve E


Just a hint as to where their ideology comes from.


Not entirely unrelated.

I sometimes wonder if the Clown Quarter of academia might actually be a massive and rather perverse behavioural experiment, the point of which is to see just how credulous and mentally deformable human beings are.


Lady Cutekitten of Lolcat

Yes, I envision them howling with laughter when their latest nuttiness gets a respectful discussion in The New York Times—which may very well be in on the gag.

Mr. Saturn

You just don't understand the alternate way of science. Or something.

Lady Cutekitten of Lolcat

I must not understand gravity either, I dropped a can of chicken/rice soup on my foot.


Hopp Singg

Stupidity is a culture now?

Rhetorical question.


There isn't one of those bald men with gold in their heads that wouldn't trade the gold for hair.

Lady Cutekitten of Lolcat

Well, at least they didn’t charge her for it.

Lady Cutekitten of Lolcat



Sounds all very Mozambleak, really.

Lady Cutekitten of Lolcat

Why has Brexit been called off? (If it has—American reporters are pretty dumb so they may have it wrong.)

Lady Cutekitten of Lolcat

I’m pretty sure this is the result of the article’s writer not being fluent in English, and I sympathize—I’ve pulled some real howlers in Spanish—but I still got a chuckle out of the burglar being “rendered useless.” 😄


Wouldn’t a single case of one baldy not having gold in his head disprove the theory? Or is this thing akin to Marxism and Congressional investigations where the lack of success in one instance just strengthens the certainty that the next head will be full of gold?


Wouldn’t a single case of one baldy not having gold in his head disprove the theory?

Well, those South Pacific cargo cults seemed to go on forever, even though there was a persistent absence of Cargo...

Jay  Guevara

A new superstitious belief has emerged in some areas of Mozambique

But all cultures are equally valid, except ours, of course.

Daniel Ream

Wouldn’t a single case of one baldy not having gold in his head disprove the theory?

Not a single catastrophic anthropogenic global warming prediction has come true, but we still have trillions being spent on "carbon". Human beings are terrifyingly bad at accurate pattern recognition. It's why statistics and probability are a university-level subject.

Jay Harper

Almost as much fun as the penis theft epidemic in the Sudan.

Steve E

Almost as much fun as the penis theft epidemic in the Sudan.

Hey, if they can throw lightning, surely they can snatch penis. Although, "snatch penis" strikes me as an oxymoron.

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