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June 12, 2019

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Liz

some totally harmless party balloons.

What could possibly go wrong?

Mike

I also 'clean' by pushing stuff under the couch.

David

I also ‘clean’ by pushing stuff under the couch.

It is, I believe, the custom.

A few years ago, we decided to rid the living room of a large and very heavy aquarium. As it was taken away, I got a chance to see what six years of fluff and dust looks like. You could practically stuff a sofa with it.

Vicki

https://blog.stephanfowler.com/2010/07/21/veil-of-ignorance/

I’d be the first to concede the burka is empowering. It aligns the wearer with one of the world’s most powerful movements; she obtains more power from that than an individual could ever muster alone. What I don’t get is: why is this good? ... it’s not at all clear what, nor why advancing a sectarian group identity and marker of racial endogamy is a virtuous thing in a secular, democratic, and egalitarian society.

Sam

Open thread you say...

[ ramble activated ]

The infamous box office flop John Carter is on Netflix and I decided to finally check it out. My expectations were subterranean and, though the movie was seven flavors of awful, I found myself enjoying the ride.

Though connecting the dots…did this movie - which purportedly lost $200 million(!) - convince Disney to simply purchase successful properties instead of creating them? The formula (purchase proven entity, strap it to stainless steel table, drain all its vital fluids, then burn the corpse in the town square) was in place since at least 2006, when Pixar was chosen as the initial blood sacrifice to the Mouse God. But maybe with John Carter, released March 2012, they decided to go full viking capitalist and purchase Lucasfilm later that same year.

Historians will point to this movie as the catalyst for the slow murder of all beloved 20th century IPs.

[ ramble disengaged ]

David

In other news, as part of my drive to take this place upmarket, I’m introducing a new bar snack.

Due to limited supply, it’s one per customer.

Pogonip

Did they have my favorite John CarterMoment? I forget which book it was. John is using his sword to fight off a whole bunch of similarly-armed bad guys. A bunch MORE sword-wielding bad guys join the effort. John appraises the new odds, says, “Ah, the hell with it,” and takes out his ray gun and fries everybody. 😄

Darleen

"Journeys end in lovers meeting, Every wise man's son doth know."

Farnsworth M Muldoon

Due to limited supply, it’s one per customer.

Is that one jar, or one garbanzo bean ?

Meanwhile, a woke guide.

Editor’s Note: For brevity’s sake, we’re using the word “women” to describe people who get pregnant and “men” to describe those who impregnate them. But people of all genders can get pregnant and get people pregnant, and this guide is intended to be a useful resource for them as well.
David

Is that one jar…?

Are you mad? That baby’s got to last ‘til Christmas.

WTP

In other news, as part of my drive to take this place upmarket, I’m introducing a new bar snack.

They look suspiciously like embryonic pickled eggs. You monster.

Sue Sims

And 'chick' is one of those revolting words that men (white men, natch) use to demean those of us of a feminine persuasion. I think they ought to be called 'Non-binary genderqueer peas'.

Pogonip

Sue: 😄

Darleen: Awwwww. 😍

David: Upmarket CHICKPEAS? It is to laugh! Put out some caviar! (Folks, he had enough caviar to feed London hidden in the under-aquarium fuzz.)

Richard Cranium

I find it hard to believe that they sent an American to the Eastern Front from France to fight the Axis.

The pair quickly fell in love but, two months later, Robbins was told he had to quickly leave the village and head to the Eastern Front to fight against the Axis Powers.
Pogonip

Hi Richard,

I just figured the story was written by an illiterate youngling.

Baceseras

Are you mad? That baby’s got to last ‘til Christmas.

Pastafazool!

Henry

Due to limited supply, it’s one per customer

That would depend. What's the demand like?

Pogonip

Rude and unruly, generally.

Steve E

I’m introducing a new bar snack.

And 'chick' is one of those revolting words...

When push comes to shove, I'd rather have some chick peas than some chick's pee.

Given some of the "artists" we've been introduced to around here the second option isn't entirely out of the realm of possibility.

[ Reports to the Scold-O-Matic ]

Daniel Ream

The infamous box office flop John Carter is on Netflix

As much as I'm a fan of Burroughs, I'm the first to admit Carter's something of a nonentity as a character and the weakest point of the Barsoom books. I liked the movie, but my biggest complaint was that the John Carter actor seemed annoyed and faintly peevish the whole film. To sell a high-concept film like that you need a charismatic actor who can sell it. Tars Tarkas was more enjoyable to watch.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

'Non-binary genderqueer peas'

What do you think "garbanzo" means and why I, being woke, used it ?

I find it hard to believe that they sent an American to the Eastern Front from France to fight the Axis.

Only thing I recall from my days in Kansas of US operating on the Eastern Front was Operation Frantic, but that was USAAF operating out of Ukraine. In the photos he is wearing a WWII QM school patch, so I suppose it is not inconceivable that he could have been sent as a support type to that, but I imagine the writer meant "was sent east". What is interesting is that the village he was in is between Metz and Verdun, so in 1944 I would not be surprised if the reason he was suddenly moved out was to support 3rd Army during the Battle of the Bulge.

lotocoti

Is there a market for inorganic chickpeas?

Farnsworth M Muldoon

Is there a market for inorganic chickpeas?

Why, shore, young feller, why it's one of the main ingredients in Quarry Breakfast Cereal...

Quarry contains no preservatives, no additives, no artificial flavoring. And it’s made without the use of pesticides or inorganic fertilizer. Because Quarry isn’t grown; it’s mined. It’s the only cereal that’s pure 100% rocks and pebbles, for a hearty old-fashioned flavor the whole family will enjoy.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

For reasons unkown, Nottinghamshire Police report an increase in slashings of victims of domestic abuse.

Pogonip

But if the knife is blunt how do you peel potatoes and chop onions with it?

WTP

Do you really need to peel your potatoes? The vitamins are in the skin, as Mom used to tell us. As for chopping onions, you could hire trained, licensed professionals to do that job. We can establish a Department of Urban Vegetable Chopping to accommodate the poor. Think or all of the new jobs that would be created!

Pogonip

That may indeed be the goal..

Farnsworth M Muldoon

But if the knife is blunt how do you peel potatoes and chop onions with it?

With the edge which is still sharp*, it is slicing and chopping, not stabbing the onions...


*(Also why this is an idiotic idea - "Yes DCI Plod, I had to slit her throat, I couldn't bloody well stab her now, could I ?")

Farnsworth "HTML" Muldoon

Damnit.

Pogonip

Good heavens, yes. Cut, don’t stab. You make a bigger mess that way. Are there no old samurai movies in benighted Blighty? 😳

Darleen

Poe's law and hate clicks.

Darleen

Wait, what?

"The knife is blunt at the end - but still functions as a knife - so you can't stab someone.

This is a statement/policy of actual law enforcement? What in the annuals of acts of monumental stupidity is that??

ANYTHING sufficiently narrow can be used to "stab" regardless if the tip is sharp enough - people are stabbed with screwdrivers, pencils, pens, branches, rattail combs - and if the person is plotting, they can sharpen things like toothbrush handles.

Hell, one lifer at max prison at Pelican Bay gathered threads from his jeans over a period of time, tightly twisted them and stiffened them with Kool-aid drink (sugar crystals) and killed another inmate in the yard by stabbing him in the neck with the short shiv.

Those blunt knives will still stab.

What feckless gobs.

Pogonip

I hadn’t heard of the Koolaid killer. He gets 10 points (so to speak) for creativity.

Darleen

Pogonip

That's this guy ... out of my courthouse. He scared the crap out of even his own defense attorney ... they had to put a shock belt around his waist under his suit because he got caught trying to work a large splinter of wood out of the underside of the defense table. Youngest daughter was volunteering at my office and watched some of the proceedings. I joined her to watch closing arguments. You know that line from Jaws about sharks having "dead eyes"?

That's this guy.

David

What’s the demand like?

I’m hoping someone can make houmous.

[ Rummages under bar for expired breadsticks. ]

David

ANYTHING sufficiently narrow can be used to “stab”… screwdrivers, pencils, pens, branches, rattail combs… they can sharpen things like toothbrush handles.

I’d forgotten that Darleen spent five years in the slammer. After that unpleasant business with the… Well, I’ve said too much.

David

Super-woke “ecosocialist” Eric Holthaus is, it seems, hard to please.

PiperPaul

"the majority of traffic these days comes from angering readers"

It's in The Babylon Bee but I think it's actually true in many cases.

David

I think it’s actually true in many cases.

I’ve often wondered about the extent to which the Guardian’s online readership figures depend on visits from people who’ve come to marvel at the preening fatuousness of the paper’s opinion section.

See also, almost any other large leftist publication.

Tom

That's this guy.

Wow, he was sentenced to death on September 11, 2001. I'm surprised with the 3 hour time difference from the East Coast that courts weren't cancelled for the day.

Pogonip

Darleen, that guy even looks mean!

TimT

ANYTHING sufficiently narrow can be used to "stab" regardless if the tip is sharp enough

That's like the old Bette Midler maxim "Anything longer than it is wide is a phallic symbol."

Farnsworth M Muldoon

If only there had been something that could have predicted this sort of thing...

Farnsworth M Muldoon

They just cannot give it a rest.

SumDumGuy

they can sharpen things like toothbrush handles.

An inmate once described to me the steps involved in making a shiv out of a piece of newspaper.

It works too, I tried it at the house. You wouldn't get more than one or two jabs out of it, but that's all you'd need

Daniel Ream

If only there had been something that could have predicted this sort of thing...

Well, that's more about the fuel cells than the hydrogen. Hydrogen itself is safer to store and transport than gasoline. Once the fuel cell electronics and transformers are involved, though, things get a lot dicier.

Also, that's not the hydrogen burning in that Hindenburg photo.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

Hydrogen itself is safer to store and transport than gasoline.

Nuclear waste is safer than both, but with gasoline you don't need near the special handling precautions of nukes or hydrogen.

Also, that's not the hydrogen burning in that Hindenburg photo.

The hydrogen didn't just leak off into the atmosphere, it is the hydrogen and the skin as the skin burning by itself would not make the fireball effect, particularly given that current theory based on witness on the starboard side having seen blue flame (characteristic of hydrogen burning) near the upper rudder as the source of the whole thing going up (down).

Farnsworth M Muldoon

Meanwhile in other science news, "global warming" causes excess home runs in baseball.

I imagine player use of steroids might have more to do with it, but I suppose a case could be made that the extra .0001◦ C of warming making the air less dense could cause the ball to carry farther, but I'd have to see confirmation from the cricket community.

Daniel Ream

Hydrogen burns with a clear, colourless flame, and it also doesn't burn anywhere near that fast. You can't get a fireball unless you have a well mixed fuel-air mixture, and there's simply no way the hydrogen could have escaped and mixed with the surrounding air in the time observed.

What actually happened was the fire-retardant chemicals the canvas skin was treated with broke down into extremely flammable compunds after being exposed to UV radiation over multiple trans-Atlantic trips above the cloud layer (ironically). The current working theory is that one of the metal cells that made up the internal structure became electrically isolated from the others, and when the grounding wire was dropped to discharge the static electricity in the superstructure, the rest of the cells discharged, leaving a huge charge in that isolated cell. Voltage differential + spark gap + highly flammable canvas = Hindenburg. This was demonstrated conclusively in the early 2000's when a researcher was able to requisition preserved scraps of the skin and exposed it to a very mild spark; it went up like flash paper.

Watch the original film. You can see the flame consuming the canvas skin stern to bow in seconds. That's not the hydrogen doing that. If the thing had been filled with helium you'd have had the same result - dozens of people killed when the skin of their airship caught fire and suffered a catastrophic loss of lift and crashed into the ground.

the special handling precautions of nukes or hydrogen.

Murder, arson and jaywalking?

Darleen

I'm surprised with the 3 hour time difference from the East Coast that courts weren't cancelled for the day.

Nope. I was there at work at the court house … we had the tv on in the breakroom and sheriff deputies were in the courthouse lobby to screen people (there were no metal detectors at that time)

Darleen

After that unpleasant business with the…

the drummer deserved it ...

Farnsworth M Muldoon

Hydrogen burns with a clear, colourless flame...

It burns with a pale blue flame visible in low light conditions, like 1900 on an overcast day.

It can burn orange if the air and hydrogen are not mixed completely .

Hydrogen requires something like as low as around 4% oxygen to ignite which is considerable less than gasoline (there is a reason why hydrogen is used as a rocket fuel).

...suffered a catastrophic loss of lift...

Caused by the rapid and explosive burning of the hydrogen, the thing would stay aloft as long as the hydrogen cells were intact and the frame in one piece (which is why it came down stern first as the forward cells remained intact longer).

David

the drummer deserved it...

No music lover would have done differently. And besides, there’s a certain edgy glamour in being known as Darleen “back-from-the-Big-House” Click. Shank-mistress and heavy-for-hire.

Sam

Look how defiant I am, Daaad*!

(*Please send more cash next season)

ComputerLabRat

I’m hoping someone can make houmous.

That's what I just signed up to make for the office summer "picnic" luncheon. Would be no trouble at all to take that jar and whip up a nice spread from it; it's the least I could do. And if you fire up that kitchen flamethrower and aim it at those expired breadsticks, get 'em a wee bit toasty, it'll knock the stale right off 'em.

Although, given my Person of Pallor condition, wouldn't making houmous be considered Cultural Appropriation? It's so hard to keep up with all this woke business.

WTP

Shank-mistress and heavy-for-hire.

Is there price list? Asking for a friend, of course.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

Look how defiant I am, Daaad*!

This is, I believe, the same team that got their collective tuchases kicked by a 15 & Under boys soccer team, not to be confused with the Australian women's team, the Matildas, to whom the same thing happened, but hey, there are no gender differences, except the boys aren't being paid as much as the wxmyn. #agegroupandgenderwagegap

David

Is there price list? Asking for a friend, of course.

She has business cards and everything.

David

Just remember to burn the receipts.

WTP

Just remember to burn the receipts.

Will do tell my friend to do so...of course.

a different James

the same team that got their collective tuchases kicked by a 15 & Under boys soccer team,

It's the same with any team sport which involves speed and strength: a decent u15 boys' team will beat an elite womens' team.

I say that as someone who coached girls' and womens' teams and who took great pride in their achievements and enjoyed watching them play.

Morpork

BREAKING NEWS FROM THE WOKE US COLLEGE FRONT: Gibson’s Bakery wins US$33 million punitive damages against Oberlin College.
https://legalinsurrection.com/2019/06/oberlin-college-hit-with-maximum-punitive-damages-capped-at-22-million-by-law-in-gibsons-bakery-case/#more-286093
This is on top of the $11.2 million compensatory damages the bakery has already been awarded. The amount will probably be reduced due to state regulatory caps,
Oberlin College has previous in these pages.

David

Oberlin College has previous in these pages.

Indeed it does.

Though my favourite incident was when one of Oberlin’s student Mao-lings, a lady named Della Kurzer-Zlotnick, was emotionally devastated by a two-letter word that was apparently unknown to her, and which she later described as “violent and triggering language.”

Sam

I thought the statutory limit for punitive dmg was double the compensatory, ie Gibson was awarded the total max of $33MM.

Hopefully the dean's recent pleas of poverty were genuine.

ComputerLabRat

Oberlin’s student Mao-lings, a lady named Della Kurzer-Zlotnick, was emotionally devastated by a two-letter word that was apparently unknown to her

There's a very high probability that the Mao-ling in question has had very little exposure to said word in the entirely of her little lifetime. Too many college students today seem to be highly cosseted, indulged humans, who think the world owes them whatever they want.

Ten

Hopefully the dean's recent pleas of poverty were genuine.

Reverse Kafkatrapping.

Steve E

...which she later described as “violent and triggering language."

My sister-in-law was going to raise her children without such "violent and triggering language." She also planned on raising them as vegetarians and they weren't allowed to play with guns or "war" toys.

Well, the terrible twos hit and suddenly the language wasn't so "violent and triggering" anymore. In fact, the word "No" became fairly common around her household. Meanwhile, grandma and grandpa introduced their granddaughter to bacon and that was the end of vegetarianism. As for guns, her toddler son made a shooting sound every time he picked up an object...whether it even remotely resembled a gun or not.

“The best laid schemes o' mice an' men / Gang aft a-gley.”

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