David Thompson
Subscribe

Categories

Blog powered by Typepad

« Survival Skills | Main | Friday Ephemera »

July 18, 2019

Comments

Mags

When you don’t have to expend mental energy keeping track of grocery lists and family birthdays, you have the cognitive bandwidth to think about other things.

But... but... emotional labour!

David

But... but... emotional labour!

Allegedly. And let’s not forget Laurie Penny, who tells us that remembering birthdays is a form of unpaid labour.

Frank

Mr Thompson, do you ever worry about the long term costs to yourself that might possibly arise from keeping tabs on such people? Or conversely, is there some therapeutic aspect to doing so that might improve ones mental hygiene?

Asking for a friend.

David

do you ever worry about the long term costs to yourself that might possibly arise from keeping tabs on such people?

I suffer heroically for my readers.

Hence the PayPal button and quarterly fundraisers.

David

Ms Heath seems unhappy about the obvious and predictable practicalities of being a family. In that, as a part-time secondary earner – and, I’d imagine, by quite some margin - practicality dictates that she takes care of the bulk of the household chores, while her husband, the principal breadwinner, works full time to pay the mortgage, etc. (And then, by her own admission, also “does a great deal around the house.”) Why this should be scandalous, or unfair, or a basis for feminist indignation, let alone “structural social change,” isn’t entirely clear.

It seems to me that Ms Heath’s household chore situation would have been different, and perhaps more congenial, if she had made different choices – and not pissed away a small fortune on a degree of negligible utility, as if freelance writing required expensive credentials, and as if freelance writing were a sure-fire path to breadwinner status. And I remain unconvinced that being obliged to clean the bathroom less often would somehow result in a flourishing and immensely lucrative career.

Joan

Feminist is selfish shock.

David

Feminist is selfish shock.

It’s the signature unrealism and displacement of responsibility. And when writing grocery lists and remembering family birthdays are framed as mental hardships, I think we can skip even perfunctory sympathy.

Rob

When you don’t have to expend mental energy keeping track of grocery lists and family birthdays, you have the cognitive bandwidth to think about other things.

Lol, thus refuting all those sexist jokes by men about how dizzy women are. 🙄

BTW, she could write down the grocery list and free up one of her two mental slots.

Y. Knott

I think we can skip even perfunctory sympathy.

In certain "manly" vocations, whingers are told where to find sympathy - it's in the dictionary, between $hit and syphilis. I hope this helps... someone...

Ten

Feminist is selfish shock.

It’s the signature unrealism and displacement of responsibility.

And it's the celebration of the abolition of traditional wrong; sloth, envy, coveting, greed, and that blinding characteristic pride:

Like many heterosexual couples, it was the arrival of children that set my husband and me on divergent paths at home. I’ve been an avowed (and untidy) feminist

No connection between the inanimate offender and the original condition, which is to say no personal agency, which is to say let's make up some nice self-victimizing.

Ten

The whole of personal grievances made social made public made policy is dysfunction, where it becomes the ruin of structural civilization.

Nice work if you can get it and you can get it if you simply make it up out of whole cloth and slather it all over your fellow man.

Rafi

cognitive bandwidth

I think I see the problem.

David

If a man had made similar choices to Ms Heath, resulting in him having much less earning power than his wife and consequently occupying the role of stay-at-home dad with a part-time freelance job, would this also be grounds for political outrage and demands for “structural social change”? Would his wife - who works full-time, pays most of the bills, and also helps out around the house - be subject to “uncomfortable conversations” about surrendering her “privilege”?

Or do different rules apply for women, or at least feminists?

Mark

Sounds like my wife, who doesn't work for health reasons, and expects me, with a full time job to do the majority of the housework, and complains when it isn't done properly.

Ten

If a man had made similar choices to Ms Heath

My CV shames this lot to the degree it's silly to bring it up. Moreover, the personal harms would bend them in half - there's not one ounce of privilege in it.

TomJ

I can't help noticing the clever Johnnies and Janeys at places like Google and Apple have perfected systems that will remember birthdays for you and even, should you do wish make the device you carry around with you remind you one is forthcoming every day for a week, or even a month, before the arrival of B Day. Systems that need only be set up once. If the 30 seconds or so it takes to set that up is too much labour or too difficult, one wonders how much cognitive bandwidth there is to tie up.

Incidentally, on shopping lists, I am currently torn between the apps Bring (which allows you to have multiple lists some with varying permissions for multiple people to access/amend, stores bar codes or QR codes of store loyalty cards &c and which will display your lists/cards on your watch) and MySupermaket (which does price comparison between the supermarkets per item or or per list and can alert you to special offers on stuff)…

Fansworth M Muldoon

Related, as it involves labor and wages, do you tip ? If so, you will be totally unsurprised to learn you are a racist.

You might not think of tipping as a legacy of slavery, but it has a far more racialized history than most Americans realize. Tipping originated in feudal Europe and was imported back to the United States by American travelers eager to seem sophisticated. The practice spread throughout the country after the Civil War as U.S. employers, largely in the hospitality sector, looked for ways to avoid paying formerly enslaved workers.

Even if we ignore that tipping has probably been around in one form or another since people began exchanging goods and services and accept the learned Rev. Dr.'s notion that it originated in feudal Europe among a bunch of 99% wypipo, and also ignore that the country was settled and founded by a bunch of Europeans, we are to believe that they never tipped until after the War of Northern Aggression, because prior to that no one, apparently, had ever traveled to Europe to learn feudal wypipo ways, and George Pullman hadn't built his train Hell Cars deliberately to keep a brother down (again we'll ignore the fact that being a Pullman Porter was considered a respectable occupation even among PoCs.)

It is always a wonder what will come up next on Wheel of Racism™.

pst314

cognitive bandwidth

I knew a Mensan with an advanced degree who used such jargon as a barrier to understanding: When people tried to find out exactly what he meant--using more conventional and everyday language to do so--he would always say that they didn't understand him. He thought he was winning arguments but in reality he was losing friends and winning only isolation. And when he called on his insulting or inconsiderate behavior (he refused to follow the norms of civility) he would defend his speech as "truth".

sH2

'The "gender wage gap" is as real as unicorns and has been killed more times than Michael Myers'

https://fee.org/articles/harvard-study-gender-pay-gap-explained-entirely-by-work-choices-of-men-and-women/amp

Boatswain's Mate

Muldoon --

the War of Northern Aggression

Or, as a now-retired, Pulitzer Prize-winning editorialist from around these parts called it, "The Recent Unpleasantness."

WTP

I knew a Mensan with an advanced degree who used such jargon as a barrier to understanding

I know a guy with a PhD who frequently uses the term "cognitive", and often awkwardly as used here, instead of "remember" or to be to be "conscious" of. Now I'm no language Nazi (see my ending of the last sentence with a preposition...heh, deal with it) but when there's a perfectly useful, more widely understood word like "conscious" available but one reaches out to "cognition", a word that the average Joe generally doesn't bother with and a word in its origins infers an organizing/processing of things in memory, it's like a neon "Pompous Ass" sign starts flashing over his head.

Oh, and he will never say he "tried" to do something. He always "endeavors". At least he uses the American spelling though as he's of Frenchy extraction I'm waiting for him to stick that annoying superfluous 'u' in there any day now.

WTP
the War of Northern Aggression

Or, as a now-retired, Pulitzer Prize-winning editorialist from around these parts called it, "The Recent Unpleasantness."

Or as I call it, the "Civil War". Partly because the oxymoron aspect amuses me. Though I also like to call it "The War That Ended Slavery In The United States". Though truth be told I greatly prefer "The War That Finally Acknowledged The Self-Evident Truth That ALL Men Are Created Equal And Endowed By Their Creator With Certain Inalienable Rights". But the latter is a bit wordy. I suppose I could go with TWTFATSETTAMACEAEBTCWCIA. Not exactly catchy like TANSTAAFL but, eh. Whatever.

Eagle

"Menial" chores are not so menial. They teach a person that even the dirtiest jobs are done for a good reason, and are necessary to a healthy living. Anyone who has regularly cleaned toilets cannot be all bad ... type of thing.

But upon reading her , I think my theory has reverted back to hypothesis.

Karen M

She’s expending mental energy on grocery lists. Someone bring medals, big ones.

Our big fortnightly shopping list (family of 5) takes me all of 20 minutes to do. But I'm not a feminist drama queen.

David

Our big fortnightly shopping list (family of 5) takes me all of 20 minutes to do. But I’m not a feminist drama queen.

Well, quite. For most of us, one week’s grocery list looks much like the last one with fairly minor variations. Assuming the bulk of Ms Heath’s groceries are ordered via a supermarket website, with its list of regular purchases, and then delivered to her door, it’s hard to imagine the task leaving her mentally and emotionally spent. Maybe she wants us to believe that women actually are helpless and impossibly delicate creatures, too flimsy for this world.

Pogonip

Family of 2 reporting in here. We have a little magnetic notepad on the fridge where when one of us uses the next-to-last of something we write it down on the pad. That’s usually about 90% of the grocery list right there. Maybe our flustered feminist Strong Independent Woman who wrote the silly article should try our system.

Ten

"The War That Ended Slavery In The United States"

600,000 lives worth. In the war part.

At any rate, such recent unpleasantness had the added benefit of exploring federalized moralities.

Baceseras

...in the pages of the Guardian, where Nicola Heath 

is over-chewing things.

Mike

Id she'd picked a sensible degree and got a decent job she could afford a cleaner.

Mike

*If

Duke

Good God, I use a reminder app on my iPhone to be sure not to miss any important birthdays.

I keep a small pad and pen on near the fridge so write down food needs as they come up ... so that I don't have to remember it all.

This women is an idiot and that is her real and basic problem.

Another Calgary Marc

My words for this self-indulgent, self-centred, egotistical, clueless waste of oxygen are rather unprintable among polite company. I would never so deface the wall of another's home thusly.

I came quite late to parenting and have a year-old spawn at home, but because I am not self-indulgent and self-centred, I was able to observe and understand the world around me, including learning from the practices of others in the family way. I am the breadwinner (there is no "primary" about it). I also do stuff around the house to assist in the smooth running thereof, including laundry and daily evening cleanup. And I manage to avoid developing the selective outrage at my lot that allows--nay, encourages--that I type a lengthy screed decrying same and laying the blame at the feet of a nebulous "society" for my downtrodden, oppressed, victim-of-privilege state.

And I say this advisedly, having observed the...insane...change in my dear spouse as a result of the onslaught of pregnancy hormones, which are only now abating to normalcy, it seems. Ms Heath accrues no sympathy from me, and I would further advise her to sterilise herself lest she becomes a serial victim of the patriarchy.

WTP

At any rate, such recent unpleasantness had the added benefit of exploring federalized moralities.

I get what you're saying but I don't believe that it was the war itself, the so-called "lost cause", that brought greater federalization about nor was it an inevitable result. Tying states' rights to this losing effort was, I believe, an evil, much later post-war power grab by the federalizers to usurp the Southerner's excuse for the war being about those rights. The War of 1812, the Mexican War, Tariffs, etc. did not create the schism that slavery did, thus to make the war about "States' Rights" in our history books both salved the Southerners' loss and was the camel's nose under the tent for greater federal power. That our school systems over 100 years later were shoving this "the Civil War was not about slavery" BS down students' throats, common sense be damned, to me is probably the most nefarious move by the federalizers to subvert the power of the states. Though I gotta admire the chutzpah.

Ten

I don't believe that it was the war itself, the so-called "lost cause", that brought greater federalization about nor was it an inevitable result.

Agreed on principle - I made no judgement but wished to point out the fuller perspective.

That our school systems over 100 years later were shoving this "the Civil War was not about slavery" BS down students' throats, common sense be damned, to me is probably the most nefarious move by the federalizers to subvert the power of the states.

Following from that fuller perspective - and this is even more contradictory to the conventional wisdom although certainly not as contradictory as additional historical scope would be - the war wasn't about slavery. It was about secession.

In other words, the South had, by effect of the Confederacy, already left and Lincoln, in a quite questionable episode, decided to wage war to take it back.

Bill de Haan

I'm reminded of a female comedian whose schtick was on getting married.

"It's my job to take the garbage out, of course, because the first week we were married, I accidentally took out the garbage. Girls, you have to be very careful that first week".

Of course, that joke was based on the assumption that married people are equal partners, and work division is decided by foolish things like, oh, agreement, or protocols, rather than resentments and The Patriarchy™.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

Sorry to go completely off topic*, but the Women and Gender Collaborative at Colorado State bring us the utterly retarded Inclusive Language Guide.

Among "offensive" and "non-inclusive" terms we find epileptic (say instead person with epilepsy), hip-hip-hooray (because of some fanciful association with Germans), Hispanic (Latinx, etc., which sort of leaves out Spaniards), "I'm broke" (instead say "I'm low on cash" - which is not the same thing as broke, of course), and my favorite, don't say homosexual, say queer - I am so old I remember when it was the other way around.

Read through and pick out your favorites, the explanations are so lame they really take the cake and must have been written by some crazy senile guys.

*(Is any of this idiocy really ever completely off topic ?)

Sam

Option 1: Shut the hell up and clean the toilet, as it is dirty and requires cleaning.

Option 2: Politely ask your husband to do it this time / every time / every other time / etc. Worst case he says no. But it's ok because there are yet more options besides you love him dearly, right? Right??

Option 3: Split the cost of hiring a stranger* to clean it.

Option 4: Write an article demanding Western Civilization alter it's lumbering structures and norms so that your husband will just clean the damned thing without you having to bother asking.

*Option 3 is, on the surface, the least problematic to a feminazi. However, assuming Mrs. Nag is comfortable with this plan, it brings up a sticky point: it is morally acceptable to clean a stranger's toilet in order to have more money, but downright oppressive to clean one's own toilet in order to have a clean toilet (and save money).

Of course, it's possible that Mrs. Nag's husband has passed her repeated chore-related shit tests in a reasonable manner, forcing her to appeal to the Patriarchal Elder Council so that her plight may yet be given sympathy. After all, if she were to carry on he might interpret her actions as showing gratitude to a man, which is by far the gravest offense a feminist can commit.

Zenith Carb

The personal is political.

Is it just me, or is that not one of the most creepy slogans in the English language?

WTP

Is it just me, or is that not one of the most creepy slogans in the English language?

It was considered political genius, not just by Machiavellian types but by serious commentators and "thought leaders" of the day when the Clintons used it back in the 90's. Bothered me quite a bit back then. I distinctly remember discussing this, picking up a glass of water and saying that this sort of nonsense, the politicization of everything, would one day soon make even that glass of water a political issue. Crickets. Then I was told, even by "conservative" types, that I was being quite silly. And I was. It turns out it wasn't that glass of water. It was the straw that was in it. And the chair I was sitting on and how I was sitting on it though. No one saw that, myself included. Especially the straw thing. Actually, I'm still not sure much of this is real.

David

showing gratitude to a man, which is by far the gravest offense a feminist can commit.

Heh.

Sue Sims

Farnsworth M Muldoon: Gosh, thanks for the link to that piece of Inclusive Idiocy (and for your rather clever final sentence). What is simultaneously amusing and despicable is their solemn cleaving, not just to the etymological fallacy (believing that the history of a word must be the real, proper meaning), but to etymologies that have been debunked numerous times ('rule of thumb', for instance). The list is a wonderful combination of ignorance and smug authoritarianism.

pst314

it's like a neon "Pompous Ass" sign starts flashing over his head

Exactly.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

The list is a wonderful combination of ignorance and smug authoritarianism.

Alas, it is a bad day for English as Berkeley (quelle surprise) decides all the things must be "gender neutral".

Among the verboten words are: brother and sister, who are now just "sibling", which will cause confusion when addressing siblings who are not confused about their gender; sportsman, which is now "hunters", and will now confuse the hell out of a yachtsman who is now multiple hunters; journeyman, who is now just "journey", which makes damn little sense; repairman, which becomes "repairs", which will make things clear as a mud lake.

Also note that in their hyperwoke state everywhere it used to say "masculine and feminine", it is now reversed.

I think their avocado has slipped off their toast.

pst314

David The personal is political.

Zenith Is it just me, or is that not one of the most creepy slogans in the English language?

WTP It was considered political genius, not just by Machiavellian types but by serious commentators and "thought leaders" of the day when the Clintons used it back in the 90's.

I first encountered it back in the 70's, from professors and leftist friends and assorted Maoist lit'rary people. None of them--not one--could see that this was a very totalitarian viewpoint. It was very popular on the left then, and does not seem to have fallen at all out of favor since--quite the opposite.

Pogonip

The Berkeley Code: Since male snakes have two *ahem*s, does that mean that if the city refers to someone as “an alternate member,” they’re saying the person is a real snake? 😄

(If you look up “Hemipenes” on Wikipedia, you’ll see an absolutely horrifying picture of a rattlesnake’s.)

Sam Duncan

“and my favorite, don't say homosexual, say queer - I am so old I remember when it was the other way around.”

At this stage, I'd lay money on “poofter” becoming Correct at some point.

Because, in all seriousness (and granting these activist types more respect than they deserve), it's a twisted form of the “old contemptibles” phenomenon: taking a term of derision and making it your own. So why not “poofter”, if they so decide?

“Actually, I'm still not sure much of this is real.”

I'm convinced that, at some point that I can't quite put my finger on, I went down the wrong trouser-leg of time (as Terry Pratchett put it).

“repairman, which becomes "repairs", which will make things clear as a mud lake.”

Oh, yes. I can't see that causing any confusion at all.

“Oh, my good Lord. Who done these repairs, then?”

“The repairs.”

“Yeah, who done 'em?”

“I told you. The repairs.”

“Wot? They done themselves? Looks like it, right enough...”

“No, no, the local repairs. I called them out.”

“Opened the window, like?”

“No, I phoned the repairs and asked them to come out.”

“Yeah, well... that wouldn't work. You need tools, love. (Blimey, we've got a right one here.) Hang on, I'll get my mate. Only a journeyman, but he speaks Polish. Maybe he can make sense of this...”

jabrwok

Since male snakes have two *ahem*s

I saw a movie once wherein a male human was similarly gifted.

Do female snakes have corresponding accommodations?

Pogonip

Yes, in each species the male’s Hemipenes are like a key that exactly fits the female’s cloaca.

David

If anyone’s getting aroused by this thread, I’m doubling the bar prices.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

Hang on, I'll get my mate. Only a journeyman, but he speaks Polish.

That would be in Berkeley, "Hang on, I'll get my mate. Only a journey, but he speaks Polish."

"Well, yes, if he is coming from Poland, that would be a journey."

"No he is a journey."

"Oh, you mean he is a trip, like a fun and crazy guy"

"What, you can't say "crazy", say "surprising""

"Ah, I see, you are surprised he traveled all the way from Poland."

"No, he is a journey."

"You mean on a journey ?"

"Leave his personal life out of this."

Tammy

I am so old I remember when it was the other way around.

https://niemanstoryboard.org/stories/annotation-tuesday-tom-wolfe-and-radical-chic/

The euphemisms are not always an easy matter, however.

When talking to one’s white servants, one doesn’t really know whether to refer to blacks as blacks, Negroes, or colored people. When talking to other . . . well, cultivated persons, one says blacks, of course. It is the only word, currently, that implicitly shows one’s awareness of the dignity of the black race. But somehow when you start to say the word to your own white servants, you hesitate. You can’t get it out of your throat. Why? Counter-guilt! You realize that you are about to utter one of those touchstone words that divide the cultivated from the uncultivated, the attuned from the unattuned, the hip from the dreary.

As soon as the word comes out of your mouth—you know it before the first vocable pops on your lips—your own servant is going to size you up as one of those limousine liberals, or whatever epithet they use, who are busy pouring white soul all over the black movement, and would you do as much for the white lower class, for the domestics of the East Side, for example, fat chance, sahib.

So one settles for Negro, with the hope that the great god Culturatus has laid the ledger aside for the moment.

Sam

If anyone’s getting aroused by this thread, I’m doubling the bar prices.

If I identify as female is the increase only 35%? Cuz muh wage gap etc.

aelfheld

You have to admit, she never said she had much in the way of 'cognitive bandwidth'.

Sonny Wayz

So, to briefly restate what I said over at Tim N's place, if wimmin are so overworked, who the fcuk watches Oprah and The View?

Sam

who the fcuk watches Oprah and The View

Women oppressed by the homo-normative capitalist imperialist patriarchy that LIDDIRALLY keeps them locked at home with gender stereotypes. Obvs.

Daniel Ream

Actually, I'm still not sure much of this is real.

It's not my favourite timeline.

Pogonip

I used to work with a woman who listened to “The View” at her desk to relieve the boredom. I tried it one day and lost 12 IQ points that I could ill-afford to lose.

Uma Thurmond's Feet

It's cases like these that make me wonder if the misogynists have a point.

Squires

Maybe she wants us to believe that women actually are helpless and impossibly delicate creatures, too flimsy for this world.

What did the self-respecting man say to the feminist?

Goodbye.

Squires

You have to admit, she never said she had much in the way of 'cognitive bandwidth'.

It’s a dial-up to bellyfeel.

HarvardR

"We’re asking someone to give up their privilege..."

Like hanging around the local S'bucks scribbling out 17 articles a YEAR!?!?

WTP

It's cases like these that make me wonder if the misogynists have a point.

Oooh, Kipling alert...

And I turn my eyes to the future that Maggie and I must prove,
But the only light on the marshes is the Will-o’-the-Wisp of Love.

Will it see me safe through my journey or leave me bogged in the mire?
Since a puff of tobacco can cloud it, shall I follow the fitful fire?

Open the old cigar-box—let me consider anew—
Old friends, and who is Maggie that I should abandon you?

A million surplus Maggies are willing to bear the yoke;
And a woman is only a woman, but a good Cigar is a Smoke.

Light me another Cuba—I hold to my first-sworn vows.
If Maggie will have no rival, I’ll have no Maggie for Spouse!

Henry

"The personal is political"

I realised at some stage that this was rather an important phrase for feminists. It's a weird idea - it seems that feminist leaders don't want politics to be expressed through the ballot box, or robust debate, or letters to the newspaper, but that it should affect everything a woman does - *especially* with regard to the man in her life.

They never want her to forget their story of women's shared grievances - they want her thinking about feminism while courting, when married, and feminism will be there for them to say "I told you so" if the relationship goes wrong.

It seems to me that love between men and women is largely a story of mutual incomprehension, anyway - it didn't need extra resentment thrown in at every stage...

Pogonip

By the time you understand the opposite sex, you are too old to care much. 😄

Daniel Ream

It's cases like these that make me wonder if the misogynists have a point.

David has frequently pointed out that the best argument against feminism is observing the average feminist.

Pogonip

They don’t seem very happy, do they?

I was a feminist for about five years and returned to my original religion, Christianity, because feminism just didn’t bear good fruit. (And don’t ever let anyone tell you feminism is not a religion. It is.)

Baceseras

She coulda been a contender. That's her complaint, I think: if she didn't have to give her attention to wiping the sink and hanging fresh towels and getting the shopping in . . . she could have written the world-changing masterpiece she feels raging inside her -- instead of the sparse output of superficiality she has actually produced.

The way T.S. Eliot, if he hadn't thrown away his genius in Lloyds bank and Fabers publishing house, might have written something really good.

Or the way Dostoevsky, if he didn't have to throw on two overcoats and wear gloves with the fingertips cut off to scribble in an unheated room in a St Petersburg winter, might have given us something lasting.

Yeah, she has it tough. How brave of her to write that article.

Zendo Deb

Complaints about grocery lists... buy a pad of paper and a pencil.

Because my sister never moved very far from home, she could call on our dad for help with buying cars, getting cars fixed, fixing things around the house. Until she got married, and then my brother-in-law took over main responsibility for most of that.

I moved very far away, and usually lived by myself, so I had to learn how (and when) to get things repaired around the house. (Though after I had a union electrician at the house in the afternoon, and the fire dept. at the house that night, I figured I needed to learn how to do for myself.)

How much cognitive energy does she expend worrying about when the oil in the lawn mower needs to be replaced, or if the brakes on the car are OK, or when was the last time Rid-X was added to the septic system, or how old the battery in the reserve sump pump is. Add in things like painting window trim, cutting down dead trees, etc. and I'd say she has it pretty good, not having to worry about all of that.

These are all things I've had to deal with, not having a man in my life to take care of them for me. And I also have to worry about grocery lists, cleaning the kitchen and the bathroom, dusting, vacuuming (how does one person make so much dust?) etc.

Jay  Guevara

I think we're reading too much into this article. She's a free lance writer, and she needed a subject. In the absence of doing much outside of the house, this feminist shopworn bleat came to mind as a way of pounding out a few thousand words.

I suspect that there's not much more to it than that.

fnord

It's illuminating that to the Marxists, and Marx is central to feminazism, everything is reduced to pay, i.e. money. Rather grubby for a transcendent philosophy that purports to free mankind.
Socialism is just the politics of resentment and envy. I'll take greed anyday.

Burnsie

I suspect that there's not much more to it than that.

There does seem to be a thriving market for these "woe is me" feminist tales written from the trenches of heterosexual marriage and family life. The perpetually unhappy Jessica Valenti has made a career of it.

Boatswain's Mate

There does seem to be a thriving market for these "woe is me" feminist tales written from the trenches of heterosexual marriage and family life.

To paraphrase (read: rip off) the eternal cynic and curmudgeon H.L. Mencken, "Feminism [is t]he haunting fear that, somewhere, a man may be happy."

Baceseras

She combines wallowing in self-pity with self-aggrandizing daydreams: it's the salted caramel of narcissistic treats!

TheTooner

If a man had made similar choices to Ms Heath, resulting in him having much less earning power than his wife and consequently occupying the role of stay-at-home dad with a part-time freelance job, ...

Ms. Heath would not have married him, much less borne his child.

Sarf

If a man had made similar choices to Ms Heath, resulting in him having much less earning power than his wife and consequently occupying the role of stay-at-home dad with a part-time freelance job, ...

Alpha Women, Beta Men

Anna, a public-relations executive, saw her relationship with her Web-designer husband collapse as she became more and more successful and he floundered. In the last year of their marriage, she earned $270,000 while he brought in $16,000.

“He never spent money that wasn’t his in an extravagant way,” she says while taking therapeutic sips of a Sea Breeze at Tribeca Grill on a recent evening. “But by not helping, he was freeloading.”

She felt unable to confront him. “We were really dysfunctional,” she admits. “We acted as if we were a two-income family. He was in denial, and I was sort of protecting him. He’d pay for groceries. He was running up credit-card debt to make it appear he had more money.”

While they may have been able to avoid the truth while she was off at work during the day, it came back to haunt them at night. “Sexuality is based on respect and admiration and desire,” says Anna. “If you’ve lost respect for somebody, it’s very hard to have it work. And our relationship initially had been very sexual, at the expense of other things.

“Sex was not a problem for him,” she goes on. “It was a problem for me. When someone seems like a child, it’s not that attractive. In the end, it felt like I had three children.”

“The minute it becomes parental, it becomes asexual,” agrees Betsy. “A friend of mine who works and makes money and whose husband doesn’t told me one day that he was taking $100-an-hour tennis lessons,” she recalls. “She said to him, ‘You are not in the $100-an-hour category.’ She had to spell it out for him. It was totally parental.”

https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2011/08/19/alpha-women-beta-men/

Can you imagine if a husband treated his wife that way? She kept her income to herself and her husband had to borrow money just to buy groceries! The line to shame a man who treated his wife like that would stretch around the block. You would have to take a number and wait your turn.
WTP

When someone seems like a child, it’s not that attractive. In the end, it felt like I had three children.

Stop your whining and man up, young lady. That's just the r'n way it is. You have personal ambitions, things you want out of life? Well boo-hoo for you. You've a husband and two children to support. You had your fun but once those kids were born, your days of Playstation, trips to the mall, and berry blisses with your besties were over.

Kevin

Off topic but...

You should be made to serve

https://dailycaller.com/2019/07/18/transgender-brazilian-wax-jessica-yaniv-predator/

Watcher In The Dark

On menial tasks: this is weird, but while we have a dishwasher at home, I still enjoy occasionally washing the pots by hand. Don't ask why, but maybe I'm trying to crush the patriarchy or something.

Maybe I'm thinking one day the climate crisis enforcement squads will beat down the door and take our dishwasher, so there's that too. Best to keep one's hand in.

David

while we have a dishwasher at home, I still enjoy occasionally washing the pots by hand.

It can be oddly relaxing. Our dishwasher hasn’t been switched on once in the nine years we’ve owned it. It’s used for storing wine, takeaway menus and unfathomable blender attachments.

Porto

You should be made to serve

So the anonymous individual "JY" has been named and his intention-revealing posting history uncovered.

ve2

What sort of desperate wenie with no self esteem marries a woman like that.

ccscientist

If the husband shovels snow in a blizzard, travels a lot for work, cuts the grass when it is hot out, and cleans up vomit, does that not count for something? Most men I know clearly work more hours than their wives (counting everything). Wives tend to count how hard they think they worked rather than how much free time they have vs. him.

The comments to this entry are closed.

Blogroll