Friday Ephemera

Reciprocation is a lovely thing. || She reeks of class. || Intruders detected. || It is damaged. || The undead. || Because you demanded it, four decades of Argos catalogues. (h/t, Things) || Caption unnecessary. || Kitchen nightmare of note. (h/t, Elephants Gerald) || If you’ve ever wondered what would be published in a journal of “feminist geography.” || Girls’ night in. || This may amuse. Do try it out for yourselves. || Slightly underwhelming library books. Includes Bowling for Women and How to Make a Mystery Smell Balloon. || The size of space. || The Crawling Eye (1958). || Crisis averted. || Cutie. || It’s called a guqin. (h/t, Elephants Gerald) || And finally, via Dicentra, the eternal struggle.

Comments

[PiperPaul]

Similar beasties.

[TimT]

“ He liked business class a lot better than economy class, because he considered himself superior”.

https://www.traveller.com.au/aeroflot-plane-passenger-stripped-of-miles-for-sneaking-fat-pet-cat-into-business-class-cabin-h1jmfi

[TimT]

Audience of note:

http://justsomething.co/canadian-service-dogs-had-to-watch-a-live-musical-as-part-of-their-training-and-their-photo-goes-viral/

[WTP]

Is Argos a UK thing? We had one in Pompano Beach for a short while in the late 60's/early 70's. Only one I ever saw or heard of. Thought it was a local thing.

[Darleen]

Do try it out for yourselves

My snippet in bold

One dark and stormy night I came by the house to see what was the matter. But the place was empty, the windows barred, the curtains drawn. I knocked, and nobody answered. I could see nothing in the yard; but the whole house seemed to be shaking, as if the spirit of some one were watching me, and I trembled lest some one should break the window. When at last I saw somebody enter, it was an old man, in a night cap and a shirt open in the back. He called, but I could hear him not a word, and he had not the faintest idea of my calling, when he entered, and said

[Mark]

Thanks for the thought, Darleen.

My insertion of the same snippet:

One dark and stormy night a long time ago, my father, the village elder, was awakened by the roaring of a storm. He rose from his bed, filled with dread, and, with trembling hands, went to see what the disturbance was about. As he drew near to the door he saw a man standing there who had a large knife in his hand. He was dressed in an old red and white robe with the corners cut away. A long, narrow sword with a black hilt was at his side.

My father asked him, "What are you up to?"

The man said, "I am a messenger of the king."

Sorry, I don't know HTML, so can't spruce it up

[Mark]

One of these things is not like the other:

https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/dw94h6/hk_police_he_wears_black_thats_why_i_beat_him_up/

vs.

https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/dw94h6/hk_police_he_wears_black_thats_why_i_beat_him_up/

Sorry, I don't know HTML, so can't spruce it up

[Steve E]

Audience of note:

What, you don't have dog theatres where you live? Barbarian.

[Connor]

This may amuse. Do try it out for yourselves.

I *knew* blogging was easy.

[David]

Morning, all.

Not entirely implausible.

Via Dicentra.

[David]

I *knew* blogging was easy.

You take that back. You take that back right now.

[Daniel Ream]

One dark and stormy night

Am I the only one who noticed that the basic structure is Clement C. Moore's 'Twas the Night Before Christmas?

[Mike]

This may amuse. Do try it out for yourselves.

Suddenly the Guardian makes sense.

[David]

“They mostly come at night… Mostly.”

[JuliaM]

WTP: "Is Argos a UK thing?"

Very much so. Recently partnered with Sainsbury, closed a lot of stores and moved in to the supermarkets wherever they could create space. Because who needs tills in a supermarket, am I right?

[Jen]

The undead.

LOL

[David]

The spam filter’s being twitchy again. If anyone has trouble with comments not appearing, email me and I’ll tug randomly at wires.

[David]

Trajectory of note. She writes for Vogue.

[David]

With unnerving regularity, the type of man who presents himself as the foremost protector of the entire female sex is precisely the person who shortly thereafter is exposed as having tried to help himself in distinctly un-gentlemanly ways.

Douglas Murray on the phenomenon of the creepy male feminist.

[MC]

It’s called a guqin

Marvellous.

Not entirely unrelated, I might have fallen in love.

[Tom]

Since all the cool kids are doing it...

It was the best of times, it was the wurst of times, it was the dark days, it was the end of days," he said, according to the Post. "And it was a great time to be alive."

The Post described the scene:

A tall, imposing, black-gloved figure on the steps leading up to the altar. Atop his shoulders was a black robe of the highest quality, and the brim was as far down as the shoulders. With a black-gloved hand, a priest gently touched the altar and pulled out a long, narrow black dagger.

Meh...

I also tried "Gadzooks! He exclaimed." but the output was both weird and uninteresting. "Gadzooks" may have been a locution to far or perhaps three words was just not enough to work with.

[TimT]

...the creepy male feminist

The mind goes back to the peculiarly extreme example of Hugo Schwyzer. A few years ago his feminist proclamations were all over the media; feminists like Clem Ford thought he was great.

Then it was revealed he’d tried to kill a previous wife. And had been sleeping with young female students during his tenure as a gender studies academic. Then, finally, he dished on himself in a series of tweets and articles about how he *knew* all the gender studies crap he was spouting *was* crap and he’d been doing it for attention, particularly the attentions of young female students.

Now?

“ As of October 2018, Schwyzer was working at a Trader Joe's grocery store.[30]”

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hugo_Schwyzer

[Mags]

the creepy male feminist

*cough* Joss Whedon *cough*

[Captain Nemo]

This may amuse

"Suppose post-modernist thought is unconcerned with the dissemination of truth, and that its goal is, instead, the abolition of truth. How would you go about it? You might begin by cloaking it in an excess of verbiage, by using terms precisely defined in so vague a manner that they could mean anything.* Thus, instead of saying "postmodernism is a way of thinking about language," you could write "Postmodernism is a way of thinking about the world" (or, in plain English: "Postmodernism is a way of thinking about history"). This sort of obfuscation can be useful in certain circumstances, but it is not a useful strategy for spreading the gospel of truth, no matter how absurd the claims it makes. The same goes for the rhetorical strategy of trying to get people to believe something that doesn't hold up to scrutiny.

And finally, and this one is the trickiest, you could just outright lie about"

*My snippet in bold. Considering the rest of it is gibberish generated by computer, it makes a surprising amount of sense.

[WTP]

do try it out for yourselves

A priest, a rabbi, and a pastor walk into a bar.

The priest: "What should we talk about?"

Rabbi: "I want to know what the Bible says about sex."

Priest: "If we talk about it, it might turn into something more."

Rabbi: "I thought it was supposed to be about sex?"

Priest: "Sex doesn't need to be talked about."

The pastor: "Well, how do you know the Bible says anything at all about sex?"

The priest: "I've read it a thousand times and I know what it says."

The pastor: "How do you know that if you haven't read it a thousand times?"

The rabbi: "I read it and it says that sex is not for marriage. Sex is for procreation."

The pastor: "I'm not sure I buy that.

Needless to say, I am somewhat less than impressed. It's always about sex with these neural networks. How they get anything else done is beyond me.

[Sam Duncan]

“Because you demanded it, four decades of Argos catalogues.”

The scary part is that I actually recognised the first one I ever saw: the glorious gold cover of 1977-'78. In fact, all of them from then right through the '80s rang a bell. (Weirdly, '88-'89 seems so familiar that I would have sworn it was much more recent. Knowing my lot, it probably hung around the house for about a decade.)

That space in my brain could be doing something useful.

“If you’ve ever wondered what would be published...”

Note how the unthinking reflex Marxism crowds out any possibility that witch-hunts might have had something to do with overzealous Christianity rather than “capitalism”.

“Not entirely implausible.”

The owls are not what they seem.

AI gives PG Wodehouse a bit of a noir twist:

”Tinkerty-tonk,” I said, and meant it to sting.

She nodded.

”I think she's just doing her part to keep you out of trouble,” I said.

”But she doesn't really care if she lives or dies,” she said, turning to glare at me. ”I guess she'd much rather see you dead than suffer the loss of her.”

”But you're not dying—”

”I'm staying,” she said. ”I'm not leaving without a fight.”

”Well, then, I guess I'll leave too,” she said. ”I'm staying.”

I shook my head and looked at the city below me.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

She reeks of class.

Take 2, apparently not just sarcastically, with bonus woke 8 year old.

[David]

The scary part is that I actually recognised the first one I ever saw

I vaguely recall my first visit to an Argos store, as a wee seedling. It seemed both futuristic and downmarket. With lots of jostling.

Needless to say, it no longer seems futuristic.

[WTP]

Am I the only one who noticed that the basic structure is Clement C. Moore's 'Twas the Night Before Christmas?

True. But without the sex.

Very much so. Recently partnered with Sainsbury,

So I wiki'd Argos and it says founded in 1972, which sounds about the time the one in Pompano Beach closed and/or bought out and replaced by (I think) Service Merchandise. Doing some quick Googling for "Argos Pompano Beach Department Store" gives numerous things but not about the store that I remember. There's a Facebook group about South Florida where people constantly post "How about..." or "Anyone remember..." and name some restaurant or bar or such that everybody would know. Gets kinda annoying. I'll see what I can find but I doubt the two are related. What caught my eye to some degree about the catalogs was that the ads seemed somewhat 1970's American in the way the models and families were dressed and such. Not that I expect a big difference but usually I can pick out subtle stuff like that. Maybe Alistair Cooke had a hand in putting those together...

[WTP]

OK, now this one seems plausible...plus I'm impressed that neural networks do come with a patriarchal society feature. I'm guessing it's a plug-in because, of course.

Three Blondes were driving to Disneyland. The girls were in the front passenger seat and the father was behind the wheel. The girls were driving on I-5 near downtown Vancouver.

When they passed over the U.S. border at Golden, British Columbia, the girls noticed that their car did not have a licence plate. They did not see any signs saying where the plates should be located on the car.

They turned to the front seat passenger and told her to go to the front of the car and look behind the passenger seat. She saw a license plate and realized that the car was a stolen one.

The girls told their father about the licence plate. The father immediately reported the licence plate as stolen to the police.

Vancouver police, Vancouver City Hall, the British Columbia Highway Patrol and the Canadian Border Services Agency were all involved in the investigation.

During the investigation, the girls noticed a small piece of wood lying on the highway. The girls assumed

For some reason it just ends there. Which actually seems appropriate. Gives it a kind of Hemingway feel.

[David]

Hemingway feel

I may use that as a pen name for my line of racy pirate novels.

[WTP]

I may use that as a pen name for my line of racy pirate novels.

Heh. Though I'd go with "Feele" or "Feal". I will be expecting my usual 0.17% royalty that I get for naming stuff. It's how I finance my hookers and beer jar Widows and Orphans Fund. That reminds me. The Dead Kennedys still owe me money.

Also, re band names. The following list might come in useful for future reference.

[WTP]

Ahh...forgot to paste the link...
https://louderthanwar.com/top-50-worst-band-names-ever-or-most-outrageous-or-just-plain-stupid/

[David]

When the [social security] programme began, every 100 workers were supporting three retirees... By 2017, 100 workers were supporting 25 retirees… According to Census Bureau projections, by 2030 each 100 working-age Americans will be supporting 35 retirees, and this could rise to 42 by 2060...

Another way to think of this is to calculate the number of retirees each worker must support. In 1946, the burden of one retiree was shared between 42 workers. Today, according to the Social Security Administration, roughly three workers cover each retiree’s Social Security and Medicare benefits. By 2030, however, there will be only two workers supporting each retiree. In other words, a working couple will have to support not only themselves and their family but also someone outside the family thanks to Social Security and Medicare.

Today’s word is unsustainable.

[Sam]

She reeks of class.

The past few Becky and Karen videos shared here have shown that sarcasm is an art that, in the wrong hands, quickly descends to horrifying caricature.

[David]

quickly descends to horrifying caricature.

I bring you the world and all that’s in it. :-)

[Steve E]

When they passed over the U.S. border at Golden, British Columbia,...

Golden, British Columbia is a small town in the Columbia River Valley between the Rocky Mountains and the Columbia Mountains. It's about 400 miles from the US border and about 450 miles from Vancouver.

Even Hemingway wasn't able to demonstrate such an economy of words.

If you ever get drunk in Golden and need to sober up fast, a quick dip in the Columbia River will do the trick. Speaking from experience.

[Sam Duncan]

“It seemed both futuristic and downmarket. With lots of jostling.”

Meaning that 1970s retail was a vastly more accurate foreshadowing of the 21st Century than contemporary science fiction.

[Steve E]

Is Argos a UK thing?

In Canada we had Consumers Distributing (or as we called it, Consumers Disturbing) that used the same retail concept. It was a frustrating place to shop. You'd fill out a card, take it to the counter, a sales associate would toddle off into "the back" come back five to ten minutes later and tell you the item was out of stock.

It was like russian roulette with no bullets.

[Darleen]

How the heck does a job advertisement hurt you?

[David]

How the heck does a job advertisement hurt you?

I doubt it’s about being hurt, despite breathless claims to the contrary. I’d imagine it’s about the thrill of exerting leverage. Some people really enjoy that kind of thing.

[Darleen]

Some people really enjoy that kind of thing.

Years and years ago, the bluenoses would loudly complain about any tv show they found "offensive". The usual retort was "change the channel". Now the woke won't just 'change the channel', they want to ban the program and destroy anyone who like it in the first place.

[Steve E]

the bluenoses

I had to google that:

"- a person who advocates a rigorous moral code"

When you google bluenoses in Canada, this is what you get:

[Steve E]

A great interview with Jordan Peterson.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=88&v=S0P6H7cm0E4&feature=emb_logo

The interviewer is Rex Murphy a columnist with the National Post. If you're wondering about the accent, that's what a Newfoundlander sounds like. In Rex's case a well educated Newfoundlander.

Here's the description from Jordan Peterson:

"An open conversation with Rex Murphy about the modern state of education, politics, identity, and new media. Recorded in early September. For those international viewers, unfamiliar with Canadian media, it will be useful for you to know that Rex Murphy is one of Canada's premier journalists: tough, truthful, politically correct, and possessed of a singular style and character. It was both an honor and a pleasure to meet him."

[Trevor]

Here in Ingerland, supporters of Birmingham City Football Club call themselves bluenoses (after the colour of the team's strip.)

[Sam]

I thought "bluenoses" were sycophantic smurfs, but then I don't get out much.

[Darleen]

Speaking of Argos ...

Well done, but earworm warning ;)

[Fred the Fourth]

Driving from Edinburgh, we couldn't help notice the sheep alongside the road, covered with splotches of day-glo paint. We stopped and were surprised to see the animals in a lovely state of undress.

As we got out of the car, they stopped for a moment and were so embarrassed they started to run up the road. This led to a hilarious scene where the sheep, who weren't even supposed to be there, were trying to keep up with the cars, all of which were driving down the wrong side of the road.

We decided to keep driving for a bit, stopping every once in a while to take pictures. I'd like to think this was a good idea and that they enjoyed the time they were in the frame, but there's no doubt that they would have been more successful running along the right hand side of the road.

The sheep were quite content and seemed perfectly content

The prompt is part of a travel essay I wrote some decades ago. I see that the AI got as far, sex speaking, as "undressed" but then got sidetracked.

[Lady Cutekitten of Lolcat]

One dark and stormy night...

...the power went out again.

[Sam]

Apropos Douglas Murray's (unoriginal) observation that those who doth protest a "sin" to cartoonish levels are likely to engage in it privately, here's a tragic example.

The infanticide and hypocrisy not being sufficiently disgusting, note that she was pushed to murder suicide by having to "find a job and pay [her recent ex-husband] rent if she stayed in their current home".

[Fred the Fourth]

Bluenose...
One of my father's favorites. He had a serious jones for building intricate wood models of schooners, and so my family now owns 3 or 4 versions.
Plus I have "Elsie" in the dining room and "Benjamin Latham" in the bedroom and "Kearsarge" (US Civil War) in the TV room.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

Let's go shopping !

Before and after.

[Patrick Brown]

Argos, I've always felt, is is about bringing all the joys of the betting shop to regular shopping. You consult the race card, choose your horse, fill in your slip, take it to the counter and hand over your money. Then you watch the horses approach the finish line on the tv screen, and go to the counter to accept your winnings.

[Uma Thurmond's Feet]

The Crawling Eye

I'm shocked it took this long for someone to offer up the MST3K version.

What kind of cultural backwater is this? I'll bet you never heard of Monty Python either.

[Sam]

Farnsworth

The "after" shopping was filmed in 2013 - three whole years before Russia descended into one huge election-meddling, vote-swaying, gay-crushing dystopian bot farm. It's disingenuous to cherry pick a video from before the Great Fall, no?

[David]

Brum-brum-brum put-put-put.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

It's disingenuous to cherry pick a video from before the Great Fall, no?

You caught me, this one shows the utter hell after the Great Fall.

[aelfheld]

The quick brown fox

generated

The quick brown fox jumped away. He didn't want to be known as such a freak.

"I'm not that kind of fox. I can't have that on my conscience."

Aang stood there, stunned. "And what do you mean?"

"That I have to be so careful, every step of the way," she told him.

"And what about the other kids?"

"They've already gotten to that. It's not worth their time."

"Then what about this whole situation? Who will we tell?"

"You'll tell them. We'll do what we have to do."

"But what will you tell them? How can you trust them after this?"

"I have to trust them," she said softly. "It's what I can do. And if we're all going to die anyway, what difference does it make?"

Aang looked at her

[Will]

From time to time in our great island story, it falls to one man to explain the origins of applesauce. "They are the fruits of the forest," he will say. "The tree of knowledge is the forest." He will give no further explanation, and you will still have to figure it out for yourself. I can't say that it will be a satisfying or enjoyable process.

If you were to pick out the five most popular foods that everyone knows, I think you would have to say these are applesauce. It is an apple. It is also a vegetable. It is a fruit. It is also an animal. In short, it is everything at once. And yet it is a very specific fruit, which is why I find it so fascinating to explain how it was created in ancient Egypt.

But first, what is it?

A quick overview of apples

[Will]

I think I'm well on my way to a tidy fortune writing bad romance novels with this thing...
"I may be the smartest man in the room," he stridently whispered, "because I'm the only one who's ever seen a real woman!"

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, but nodded her head to reassure him.

"It's okay," he said in a softer tone. "You are beautiful as is. I'm glad you're here with me." He reached up and wrapped her in a hug. "So," he continued in a more playful voice, "how'd you like to go on a first date? We're going to have a few drinks first, see how it goes, then we'll go back to your house and take it from there."

"I'm fine with that," she mumbled, as her eyes began to water.

"Do you want me to get you anything?" he asked, as he turned

[Steve E]

Brum-brum-brum put-put-put.

OMG. Someone successfully crossed a Minion with a vintage Vespa. One can only hope it's non-GMO.

[WTP]

OK, this last one. I promise...sort of...

杰弗里·爱泼斯坦没有自杀。

[1] This is a common saying in China.

[2] A Chinese saying about a person who was born, lives for a long time, and is not going to die any time soon.

[3] I just have to make this work, he thinks to himself.

[4] "Baijiu, is it a liquor or a food?"

[5] Baijiu means liquor but this term was originally used to describe a very strong liquor, and was used to refer to the Chinese whiskey made from fermented rice.

[6] The two different types of wine used in traditional Chinese culture are xin, which is white wine, and liu, which is black wine.

[7] Liutang means

[Felicity]

I know that I have been hanging around here for too long because when I watched the Jordan Peterson/Rex Murphy interview is all I could think about was that they were not using coasters.

And, in breaking news: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-7689587/The-worlds-vagina-museum-set-open-London.html

Feeling slightly ill now.

[Darleen]

Palette cleanser.

[Steve E]

And, in breaking news...

"Inside the exhibition, entitled 'Muff Busters: Vagina Myths and How To Fight Them', members of the public will be greeted by red glittery tampons, menstrual cups and vagina-themed bunting."

Wow, they don't pussy-foot around.

[David]

And, in breaking news

[ Follows link to Daily Mail website, which demands deactivation of adblocker. Complies, resulting in avalanche of 183 adverts on one page, which immediately reduce browsing to a stuttering crawl of flickering, migraine-inducing garbage, with ads multiplying endlessly, even popping up to obscure other ads. ]

[ Reactivates adblocker, swears never to visit Daily Mail again. ]

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

Brum-brum-brum put-put-put.

Related, VW apparently has been contemplating entering Formula One. A photo of their prototype has been leaked.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

杰弗里·爱泼斯坦没有自杀。

Related, Prince Andrew explains why he chose to stay at a certain house, because there are no five star hotels in NYC, apparently.

[Ted S, Catskill Mtns, NY, USA]

I tried "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way", which is of course the famous opening to Tolstoy's Anna Karenina. The generator gave me a bunch of Hans Christian Andersen.

[will]

Speaking of Prince Andrew, his excuse, when fed into the neural net, renders:
“I admit fully my judgment was probably coloured by my tendency to be too honourable," 『Lyle-sama』 murmured, as he picked his hair.

「And then, you brought a girl to Lyle-sama…」

It seems that Lyle's opponent was a man. Lyle has not even used a sword or magic. The man took on the girl as a hostage. The man was wearing a black robe. The man was also tall. He was the commander of the guards.

「I won't accept that. You are not a good person. You should have just given me a reason.」

「I thought that I needed to show that you are not a good person, and was forced into doing so.」

Lyle made a bitter smile.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

The Neural Net does Hunter & Garcia...

I met a man, way down, down, down by the docks of the city, who was one of the many refugees who had moved to the city from the city-states of the north. He was a middle-aged man who had lost his father in the war, but still bore the scars from the battle and the war. His face was filled with sadness, but he didn't have much time left with his son, he had to keep moving. He told me his story:

My father was an Imperial soldier in a city-state. He died in the war, and was killed when his home was invaded. My mother was a slave.

She was forced to join the army as a child, but she refused to serve. One day the war broke out, and she was drafted into the army. She was a coward, and fought as she had always done: with her bare hands. She lost her arm in the fight, and her legs were wounded. She managed to get off one shot, and was...

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

The Neural Net takes a dark turn with Muddy Waters...

I got my mojo workin' here."

The woman's laughter had become a little more serious.

"Yes, ma'am, the work was done in the lab," she said. "But now that we are here, we are working on some new research. We have been talking with some doctors in the hospital. They found out that these symptoms are not limited to this place, that the patients in other cities and towns are also getting these symptoms. And they also said that they have been doing experiments on the same subject. This is why we think the same disease could be spreading."

"Why would there be experiments on the subject?" I asked.

"Well, some of these people might have been victims of a chemical test," she answered.

"Chemical tests?" I asked.

"We don't know," the woman answered. "But the doctors believe the disease is a sort of flu like illness...

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

The Neural Net meets Bob Marley and gets some ganja inspired history...

I shot the sheriff in the face. I don't think it was a very good time for that, but I had a reason."

His explanation was simple: He had heard about the raid and wanted to show solidarity with the people of Ferguson, Mo. who were protesting in solidarity with Eric Garner, a Staten Island man who died after being arrested on suspicion of selling loose, untaxed cigarettes.

After the incident, the Sheriff's Department opened an internal affairs investigation. The Sheriff's Department has been criticized for its tactics during the uprising. In response to that criticism, the department changed its procedure regarding the use of tear gas. In March, it changed its policy regarding the use of weapons, including tear gas, in confrontations with citizens. It's still the policy, however, that it is not permitted to deploy the gas except when a person's life is in danger. The department has also revised its policy on the use of riot gear and armored vehicles.

[Darleen]

White on white.

[[+]]

Name dropped...

"Another excellent blog—davidthompson.typepad.com—run by a Brit (I think) of a libertarian bent, who posts links to various Internet oddities every Friday and spends the rest of the week very amusingly eviscerating the editorial windbags at The Guardian and other deserving fonts of political spew."

https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2012/07/kurt-loder-what-i-read/325820/

[David]

Name dropped...

Heh. At last, the glory I deserve. Though I’m not sure how readers of The Atlantic will feel about the post from November 4th, given that the source of political spew is, er, The Atlantic.

[Daniel Ream]

In all fairness, I shot the sheriff in the face. I [didn't] think it was a very good time for that, but I had a reason." is one hell of a good opening line for a novel.

[David]

[ Resumes work on first draft of racy pirate novel. ]

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

White on white.

0.1% North African.

Right, because some Carthaginian sailor binked Flavia the Ostian hooker, who gave birth to Claudius who became a soldier in Legio XVII who binked some gal in a village in Germania which is where you got your 0.1% is totes the same as being a direct relative of Cetshwayo.

Yo, yo, North Africa in da house y'all, say it loud, I'm Carthiginian and I'm Proud !

Alternatively, I'm Berber, how dare you culturally appropriate my carpet.

[Captain Nemo]

The Neural Net does Nicki Minaj (h/t Douglas Murray, because if he hadn't included these lyrics in his recent book, I would still be blessedly ignorant of them)

My anaconda don't, my anaconda don't
My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun.
And my anaconda don't give a shit if you a white man, too.
But they know it, they know it and they know it
They know my anaconda don't wanna get you in trouble
But they can, they can. And they'll put a big fat wad
Out your ass for your sins, you white boy.
But they can, they can. And they'll put a big fat wad
Out your ass for your sins, you white boy.
Oh my anaconda don't wanna get you in trouble.
Oh my anaconda don't wanna get you in trouble
Oh my anaconda don't wanna get you in trouble.
Oh my anaconda don't wanna get you in trouble.
Oh

[Uma Thurmond's Feet]

Oh my anaconda don't wanna get you in trouble.
Oh

See, now this is why we can't have nice things. I think you broke it.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

From Teh Party Of Science™.

"Sickle cell affects blacks more than wypipo", the system is broken, bigot.

[lotocoti]

Do try it out for yourselves.
I may have broken it.
He looked at me, he looked at my gun.
He looked at me, he looked at my gun.
He said Jesus Christ.
I said no, Glock 19.
He said no, Glock 19.
And he pulled his gun. And I shot him.
He's dead.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
(To save pixels, 21 further I'm nots have been omitted.)

[Richard Cranium]

At last, the glory I deserve.

While I don't dispute the glory that you deserve, that article was from 2012. Some of the links that Mr. Loder used to read back then are no longer around.

Hopefully, he still reads you.

[Sam Duncan]

“Here in Ingerland, supporters of Birmingham City Football Club call themselves bluenoses (after the colour of the team's strip.)”

Also Glasgow Rangers in Scotchland.

I always wondered what this meant. AI to the rescue:

Ying-tong iddle I po. See also p'y'i-jing-tong, p'y'i-jing-tong h. A term used to indicate a change in direction of a road when the driver is driving on the left hand side of the road. The word is said to be a corruption of p'i-k'ien, the old name of the road.

[Richard Cranium]

@Muldoon, education majors aren't the best-and-the-brightest.

I think they are superior to journalist majors, but I easily could be convinced otherwise.

[Darleen]

Damn you men and your sexist ...

[flips card]

thermostats.

[pst314]

Damn you men and your sexist ...
[flips card]
thermostats.

Ironically, many of us, as children, would complain "it's cold, turn up the heat" to which our mothers would reply "put on a sweater".

[WTP]

I thought we weren't supposed to use electricity to control our environments. Earth First! Or something.

[Sam Duncan]

“Damn you men and your sexist ...
[flips card]
thermostats.”

I swear the Telegraph has undercover agents at the Guardian deliberately working to discredit it.