Hardcore rave banana. || Baby cannon. || Good doggo. || Feet detected. || Underwhelming loaf. || Today’s word is rethink. || Slow-motion ocean. (h/t, Things) || Unfortunate phrasing. || “Its smell is compared to that of a dog, with the texture of breadcrumbs and the appearance of ping pong balls.” || Parental discipline of note. || Pamela didn’t realise what would subsequently happen to her curtains. || Context is for weaklings. || Car mine of note. (h/t, Dr Westerhaus) || Cooking with wool. || There’s a lot of it about. || The evolution of the scrollbar, a visual guide. || The statistical value of a dog’s life. || At last, a baby head Theremin. || Seedlings and chess. || And finally, festively, you want one and you know it.
Apparently, a banana freakout is unsafe for an unnamed community. Someone at Reddit may have thought a viewer might laugh at the video rather than with it.
Posted by: Adam | December 06, 2019 at 00:17
And finally, festively, you want one and you know it.
Yes, yes I do.
Unfortunately I am packing for a move, and the acquisition of new things is forbidden.
Posted by: ComputerLabrat | December 06, 2019 at 00:57
“Hardcore rave banana.”
I used to think it was just Japan. Clearly the whole of South East Asia is on drugs.
“Car mine”
Surely it's the wrong colour?
“you want one”
Oh, hell yes.
Posted by: Sam Duncan | December 06, 2019 at 01:08
Christmas film. I pronounce it theologically sound.
Posted by: TimT | December 06, 2019 at 02:30
Baby cannon.
That's how I imagine Serena Williams giving birth.
Unfortunate phrasing.
An older man was concerned about his wife's unusual behaviour so he brought her to see the doctor. After a thorough examination and a full slate of tests, the doctor had an opinion. He told the man he was concerned. Her condition indicated she had either Aids or Alzheimer's. The man was at a loss and asked the doctor what to do. The doctor said, "When you get her home send her out for a long walk and if she comes back don't have sex with her."
I know, I'm a bad person.
Posted by: Steve E | December 06, 2019 at 02:49
The evolution of the scrollbar, a visual guide.
Was gripped. :-)
Posted by: Mike | December 06, 2019 at 06:30
Morning, all.
Apparently, a banana freakout is unsafe for an unnamed community.
I’m assuming they just fill the suits with cocaine.
Oh, hell yes.
Do it. Do it now. Do it for Christmas.
That’s how I imagine Serena Williams giving birth.
I’m sure there are websites for people like you. Ones that require a credit card.
Posted by: David | December 06, 2019 at 06:52
TimT:
Christmas film. I pronounce it theologically sound.
Excellent! With an ending that does not sugar coat the process of change.
Posted by: Ben David | December 06, 2019 at 08:13
Pachelbel’s Canon, an interpretation.
Posted by: David | December 06, 2019 at 09:02
Context is for weaklings.
It's a Harry Potter reference.
Posted by: Daniel Ream | December 06, 2019 at 09:10
I have a question for the heathen rabble. At what point in the month is it acceptable to go full-on Christmas tree? I ask because yesterday evening Beloved Sister-In-Law #2 was excitedly awaiting the delivery of an artificial tree, complete with built-in lights. Within seconds of its arrival it was unboxed, plugged in and blinking. Doubtless it has by now been fully festooned.
Seems premature, somehow.
Posted by: David | December 06, 2019 at 09:40
Christmas Eve.
Posted by: Fen Tiger | December 06, 2019 at 10:32
Christmas Eve.
As a wee seedling, the tree went up on Christmas Eve, giving it a sense of occasion. ‘Twas a big deal, at least for a six-year-old, when you’re incredibly impressed by tinsel.
Posted by: David | December 06, 2019 at 10:36
"Her condition indicated she had either Aids or Alzheimer's."
About two this morning I was awake, so I asked my wife if she wanted to have sex. She said “sure”, got dressed and left.
Posted by: PiperPaul | December 06, 2019 at 10:44
She said “sure”, got dressed and left.
Ba-dum tissshhh.
[ Summons henchlesbians. ]
Posted by: David | December 06, 2019 at 11:35
Was gripped. :-)
Very moving.
Posted by: Farnsworth M Muldoon | December 06, 2019 at 12:17
Today’s word is rethink.
That's me for the next 3 months.
Posted by: Joan | December 06, 2019 at 13:00
Fake news.
https://twitter.com/Channel4News/status/1202913424243601408
Posted by: sH2 | December 06, 2019 at 13:07
Fake news.
Wow. So, are they staggeringly incompetent, given the availability of the video and therefore the ability to check, or just staggeringly mendacious?
Answers on a postcard, please.
Posted by: David | December 06, 2019 at 13:12
Hardcore rave banana.
In other banana related news, the question of whether it is really art is a bit sticky.
Posted by: Farnsworth M Muldoon | December 06, 2019 at 13:27
the question of whether it is really art is a bit sticky.
Ah, the custodians of high culture.
Posted by: David | December 06, 2019 at 13:36
Answers on a postcard, please.
They are staggeringly stupid, in that they have embraced all sorts of pernicious ideas, and they are staggeringly mendacious in the service of those ideas. I wouldn't cross the street to save them from something awful.
Posted by: pst314 | December 06, 2019 at 13:41
His placard reads, “Fight bigotry.”
Via Holborn.
Posted by: David | December 06, 2019 at 13:42
They are staggeringly stupid, in that they have embraced all sorts of pernicious ideas, and they are staggeringly mendacious in the service of those ideas.
I suspect it tells us quite a bit about the kind of people employed by Channel 4, and what those people want to hear. And, it seems, what they want us to hear.
Posted by: David | December 06, 2019 at 13:44
“His placard reads, 'Fight bigotry.'”
It's worth watching the the whole thing.
Posted by: Sam Duncan | December 06, 2019 at 14:19
It’s worth watching the whole thing.
Well played, that man.
Posted by: David | December 06, 2019 at 14:31
It's no great surprise in our overly narcissistic and litigious age to find an Indian man suing his parents because he didn't ask to be born, but one can only question the utility of a legal system that permits such farcical lawsuits.
Posted by: Karl | December 06, 2019 at 14:34
an Indian man suing his parents because he didn’t ask to be born,
The solution to his alleged agonies seems rather obvious.
Posted by: David | December 06, 2019 at 14:38
I have a question for the heathen rabble. At what point in the month is it acceptable to go full-on Christmas tree?
Well, as you lot are unfortunately not blessed with the Greatest Holiday Of Them All, aka Thanksgiving (no, the left hasn't totally ruined it yet with full on politics, but they are closing in), over here in Uber Heathenland any time just after Thanksgiving is considered the norm. Personally, I've traditionally waited until a week or two before Christmas but as time goes on I've started earlier. All the effort to put it up, along with exterior lights and such, seems like a waste to not have it up at least most of the month. But never before Thanksgiving. Again, an Americanism but I've traditionally consider it bad luck to have anything Christmas-y still showing before the kick off of the Rose Bowl game. But now the stupid college football playoff system has mucked with that as well.
An aside...I remember a couple years ago out walking the dog one evening, I distinctly remember it was on Groundhog Day (Feb. 2 for non-heathens elsewhere), and smelling that unique Christmas Tree pine smell. Looking across the street I notice that one of my neighbors had just that night hauled the tree out to the curb. In six years living in this 'hood I've never seen those people outside in the light of day. Or outside at all, actually. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
Posted by: WTP | December 06, 2019 at 15:10
seems like a waste to not have it up at least most of the month.
Savages.
Posted by: David | December 06, 2019 at 15:18
Answers on a postcard, please.
Postcard: I'd be willing to bet that they honestly thought that's what he said.
Rant: Because that's how it played in their heads. These media (and academic) people, UK, US, OZ, Canukland, etc. have been brainwashed from an early age that everything about their civilization is bad. 'Conservatives', no matter how leftist they may be, are the closest thing to a real world representation of western civilization that they can imagine. Every single thing Conservatives, conservatives, or 'Conservatives' utter is therefore racist, colonialist, murderist, meanist, hateist, etc. It's how they process, how they experience the world.
Posted by: WTP | December 06, 2019 at 15:19
Pachelbel’s Canon, an interpretation.
That one's gone round the office.
#Classy
Posted by: Jen | December 06, 2019 at 15:25
Savages.
Hey, don't knock Boiled Leftist Missionary until you've tried it. But make sure you remember to throw in a bay leaf. It gives the broth an almost minty flavor (somewhere between spearmint and menthol), with subtle hints of black pepper and Christmas tree pine.
Posted by: WTP | December 06, 2019 at 15:27
Baked honey glazed leftist, dotted with cloves.
Posted by: pst314 | December 06, 2019 at 15:30
It’s worth watching the whole thing.
It looks like the '60s were really good to the gal with the headband and purple lights wrapped around her, regardless, there is no end of this sort of nonsense from the non-thinking leftists Mark Dice Man on the Street Interviews are hilarious, or would be if these idiots actually vote, but if they do, it certainly explains California. Karl Marx for president.
Posted by: Farnsworth M Muldoon | December 06, 2019 at 15:30
In view of Channel 4's "oopsie" re: Boris Johnson, I give you this from today's "Most Trusted Name in News," our times' "Paper of Record."
I rather like the cadence and flow of "Foe of the Folk."
Posted by: Boatswain's Mate | December 06, 2019 at 16:09
Parental discipline of note.
As a father of an 8-month old daughter I cherish every damned second of parenting before mobile phones and social media becomes a "thing". It's honestly terrifying.
Posted by: Sam | December 06, 2019 at 16:21
‘Twas a big deal, at least for a six-year-old, when you’re incredibly impressed by tinsel.
We still get a fresh tree -- about 3 weeks before Christmas and take it down on New Year's Day. I have wonderful memories of running up and down rows of trees at Christmas tree lots - the smell of fresh pine always triggers those memories. Dad was usually the one to find just the right tree and mom gave final approve.
Back in the day, the tinsel was metal - in the 1950s I believe it was lead - and tinseling the tree might take more than a day or two as each strand was carefully hung to create that sparkling waterfall effect.
Case in point: 1957 (dad, li'l sis & me) ... I was only allowed to help with tinseling when I was about 9, and then only under the watchful eye of my dad.
Posted by: Darleen | December 06, 2019 at 16:25
Darleen has doxxed her self as a Rockwell. =)
Posted by: Sam | December 06, 2019 at 16:34
It’s worth watching the whole thing.
Eye opening, that was.
"Gotcha! Those anti-Jewish statements were from your guy. What say you?"
"Hurr humm hurr well ya know those joos are sort of terrible when ya think on it."
I no longer have to imagine how the genocides happen in western democracies. It's simply a matter of enough "acceptable" people being for it, and the low IQ bullies do the rest.
Posted by: Sam | December 06, 2019 at 16:38
“An aside...I remember a couple years ago out walking the dog one evening, I distinctly remember it was on Groundhog Day (Feb. 2 for non-heathens elsewhere)”
Interesting. Wikipedia on Twelfth Night:
Occam's razor says they're probably just lazy. But you never know. The switch of the superstition to the 5th of January seems to be fairly recent, maybe even 20th Century.
Celebrating Christmas at all is a 20th Century innovation (well, okay, rediscovery) here in Jockland. My dad used to recall sitting down to Christmas dinner after his father came home from work. It was still only a half-holiday when he started working himself in the 1950s. Santa came on Hogmanay.
“I no longer have to imagine how the genocides happen in western democracies.”
As I said over at Guido Fawkes's, usually these “gotcha” videos are fun. That one's terrifying.
Posted by: Sam Duncan | December 06, 2019 at 17:33
I like the Treezilla, but what if it had Theremin baby head ornaments? A score of them, all making sounds when someone passed by? I would like that.
Posted by: Monty James | December 06, 2019 at 18:22
seems like a waste to not have it up at least most of the month.
As a concession to this slapdash festive impatience, I’ve written out the Christmas cards. They are now ready to post.
I hope you’re happy.
Posted by: David | December 06, 2019 at 18:22
The spam filter is all a-twitch. If anyone has trouble with comments not appearing, email me and I’ll prise them free.
Posted by: David | December 06, 2019 at 18:25
Yay, Christmas cheer! We've been told by a couple friends (some now seem to be 'friends') that due to globalistic warmaring and/or a newfound cynicism for all things Christian because it kills so many people, spreads misery, forces women to have babies, and hates on the gays, that we 'really don't need to' send them a card. Somehow, those folks accidentally or not (there's currently a study being done to find out) end up getting the most Jesus-y card we can find. Because we're haters that way.
Posted by: WTP | December 06, 2019 at 18:46
...seems like a waste to not have it up at least most of the month.
The advantage of having the non-Hibernian side of the family is that we can leave things up till 9 January, first for the arrival of Дед Мороз and Снегурочка, his hot granddaughter, on the real Christmas of 7 January, then for the birth of Our Lord and Savior, Elvis on 8 January. The only problem is that we have to switch from Jameson, in true Russian tradition, to vodka and/or antifreeze on 1 January.
Posted by: Farnsworth M Muldoon | December 06, 2019 at 18:51
I need a glass of wine.
Posted by: David | December 06, 2019 at 18:56
Ah, that’s better.
Posted by: David | December 06, 2019 at 18:57
Did someone mention "a Rockwell?"
Posted by: Darleen | December 06, 2019 at 20:47
Wow, Darleen. An ad I'd love to see again. Whodathunk. Thanks for sharing.
Posted by: Uma Thurmond's Feet | December 06, 2019 at 20:56
Nope, not crying. Just some wine from David's shot glass flung in my eye. Definitely not crying.
Thanks Darleen.
Posted by: Sam | December 06, 2019 at 21:10
Christmas decorations may go up the day after Thanksgiving (which, because Thanksgiving is the fourth Thursday of the month, means that decorations may go up anywhere from the 23rd to the 29th of November). Traditionally they are taken down on New Year's Day, and any that have not been removed by that time should no longer be lit at night.
However, I don't live terribly far from New Orleans, and we have adopted some of the traditions of the area. As a result, the Christmas-themed wreaths on the door stay up until Epiphany, which is the official kickoff to Mardi Gras season, to be replaced by the Mardi-Gras-themed wreaths. On Ash Wednesday, those are swapped for spring wreaths that stay up until it's hot enough that we can no longer pretend it's spring. Summer wreaths until the weather cools in mid-October, when the Halloween ones go up; on All Saints' Day, it's time for the Thanksgiving ones.
Yes, my wife is fond of different wreaths.
Posted by: Devilbunny | December 06, 2019 at 21:51
Definitely not crying
I seem to feel compelled to watch it while dicing onions ...
Posted by: Darleen | December 06, 2019 at 22:08
Yes, my wife is fond of different wreaths.
Enough of this sappy stuff, a couple of Cthulu wreaths.
Also Снегурочка, which beats a Rockwell Christmas in my book.
Posted by: Farnsworth M Muldoon | December 06, 2019 at 22:30
The switch of the superstition to the 5th of January seems to be fairly recent, maybe even 20th Century.
Hardly a superstition? In the western Christian tradition Christmas season ends with 12th Night/ Feast of the Epiphany/ Little Christmas/ Nollag na mBan (Women's Christmas)
In the James' childhood house, it was Mass on the 5th of January followed by the taking down of the decorations.
The decorations went up only a couple of days before Christmas. Usually the same day as we collected the turkey- reared, despatched and sent by train from deepest West of Ireland by our grandmother. Each year she promised that she would send a goose the following year but, foolishly, we children always wanted a turkey.
Posted by: a different james | December 06, 2019 at 23:37
Muldoon, the linked tentacle wreath is actually close enough to the Real Thing that I might be able to sneak it in on the side door. The front doors are a matched pair for a very formal house, so those are right out, but we are less formal at the tradesmen's entrance.
She'd probably get a huge kick out of it when I explained the thing. Extremely dark, somewhat subtle humor is the glue that holds our marriage together.
Posted by: Devilbunny | December 07, 2019 at 00:00
“Hardly a superstition?”
The superstition that it's unlucky not to. (Mind you, bear in mind that I was brought up presbyterian. It's more or less all superstitious Roman innovation to us.)
Posted by: Sam Duncan | December 07, 2019 at 02:06
This.
Via Damian.
Posted by: David | December 07, 2019 at 08:46
Praise the Lord:
Because we’ve missed her contributions to human happiness.
Posted by: David | December 07, 2019 at 09:17
This. Because parents mustn’t expect to be responsible for their own children.
Via Julia.
Posted by: David | December 07, 2019 at 10:27
I have a question for the heathen rabble. At what point in the month is it acceptable to go full-on Christmas tree?
As as former apprentice in Santa's workshop I am able to give an authoritative answer to our gracious host's query : The tree is procured during the week leading up to Cristmas EVE on a conveniently moonlit night when the farmer's Alsatians have been surreptitiously sedated. The tree is brought indoors on the 23 of December and tarted up the same evening during ritual bickering about the placement, distribution and orientation of glitter (vertically, of course), Norwegian flags (garlanded horizontally, obviously) and baubles. The bickering and resentment can be enhanced by liberal consumption of Aquavit and sugary sweets. The goal is to not be on speaking terms by bedtime.
The next day is the 24 of December and that's the day Baby Jesus was born so that's why proper people celebrate Christmas on that day and not the day after. Like we don't celebrate the new year on January 1'st.
The tree is kept indoors for 12 days and recycled as firewood on the 13'th day of Christmas, when all the other decorations are also put in storage. There should be no more than 2 weeks of Christmas so as not to dilute the chrismosity. These are the Christmas rules as laid down by Santa himself.
Merry Christmas to all the witty and wonderful patrons of this blog-bar!
from a Journeyman Wood Elf
Posted by: Wood Elf | December 07, 2019 at 10:34
Cressida Dick, the very model of a modern major city cop, strikes again.
Meanwhile, at Cambridge, a couple of malnourished students haz a sad over a mess hall painting, of course the admin caves.
Posted by: Farnsworth M Muldoon | December 07, 2019 at 12:26
Did someone mention "a Rockwell?"
I thought Darleen was this Rockwell.
Posted by: Ted S, Catskill Mtns, NY, USA | December 07, 2019 at 12:47
Interesting video, back story and color film of the Pearl Harbor attack shot by a USAAF MSG and his wife.
Posted by: Farnsworth M Muldoon | December 07, 2019 at 13:48
Next generation of snowflakes in the pipeline.
Posted by: Darleen | December 07, 2019 at 17:47
I have an uncomfortable question...this tree that Norway has been gifting y'all for Christmas every year as thanks for de-Quislinging them, does it frequently look this sparse?
I smell a globalistic warmering / austerity rat.
Posted by: WTP | December 07, 2019 at 18:18
Re Pachbel's Canon
My dream is that one day we will develop the technology to perform it with actual cannons. Until then, this will do. Sigh.
Posted by: WTP | December 07, 2019 at 20:11
My dream is that one day we will develop the technology to perform it with actual cannons.
Fired by church canons.
Posted by: TimT | December 07, 2019 at 20:38
My dream is that one day we will develop the technology to perform it with actual cannons.
Here I am, trying to nail some class into you heathens.
It’s the Augean bloody Stables.
Posted by: David | December 07, 2019 at 20:48
I have a question for the heathen rabble. At what point in the month is it acceptable to go full-on Christmas tree?
Full on? Never. There's no need for that sort of shit.
A nice tree, in the corner, decorated with some sort of adult restraint, is good.
Excessively decorated trees and houses, with wreaths on the doors, everyone wearing Christmas clothes, etc is just silly IMO.
But my real venom is directed at "Christmas" music. I don't subject visitors to my house to my taste in music, because they probably won't like it. Why must I be constantly subjected to their taste in shops and at work? It is one of the very few things that makes me hate people.
Posted by: Chester Draws | December 07, 2019 at 21:25
The terms "Christmas" and "adult restraint" belong nowhere near each other.
And speaking of Cthulhu, for the uninitiated I'll just leave all of this here.
Posted by: Karl | December 07, 2019 at 22:30
Darleen's larval snowflake:
Single mom.
Only child.
Anyone want to cover either of those bets?
I thought not.
Posted by: Fred the Fourth | December 07, 2019 at 23:51
It’s the Augean bloody Stables.
Nothing a bent river or two couldn't fix.
Posted by: Steve E | December 08, 2019 at 01:07
https://www.zerohedge.com/economics/see-you-after-jail-guys-art-world-stunned-after-man-eats-120000-banana-duct-taped-wall
“An attendee tried to cheer him up by handing him a banana.”
Posted by: TimT | December 08, 2019 at 07:29
Feel the warm glow of feminist ideas.
Posted by: David | December 08, 2019 at 08:41
“An attendee tried to cheer him up by handing him a banana.”
Oh, not the first time, bascially . . .
Posted by: Hal | December 08, 2019 at 08:43
Feel the warm glow of feminist ideas.
"We should think of fetuses as a side-effect'
Ugh. They sound like vampires.
Posted by: Jen | December 08, 2019 at 09:15
Oh, not the first time, bascially . . .
There’s a similar story, too, about when John Lennon and Yoko Ono first met. One of her exhibited items was this apple, see....
Posted by: TimT | December 08, 2019 at 09:26
Ugh. They sound like vampires.
Ms Torres, quoted above, describes herself as a “general do-gooder,” and has denounced those who disagree with her statement as “misogynists” and “anti-intellectual.” And so, the distinction between feminist and person with sociopathic tendencies is once again finer than one might wish.
Posted by: David | December 08, 2019 at 09:29
I think I see the problem.
And it’s not, as implied, “the Tory government.”
Posted by: David | December 08, 2019 at 10:58
Socialism, baby.
Via Damian.
Posted by: David | December 08, 2019 at 11:10
But my real venom is directed at "Christmas" music.
Your name is mud.
Posted by: Ted S, Catskill Mtns, NY, USA | December 08, 2019 at 12:07
But my real venom is directed at “Christmas” music.
[ Digs out the Margaret Whiting and Johnny Mercer version of Baby, It’s Cold Outside. ]
Posted by: David | December 08, 2019 at 12:41
But my real venom is directed at “Christmas” music.
Does David's correction booth play Jingle Bell Rock on an endless loop?
Posted by: pst314 | December 08, 2019 at 13:57
His name is Mud, too.
Posted by: Wood Elf | December 08, 2019 at 14:03